sniffles4
Height: 5' 7" Age: 40 RNY Proximal (100 cm bypassed)
I have had a weight problem since I was 8 eight years old. Literally overnight, I went from a thin knobby-kneed girl to a 175 lb girl having to be weighed in private so that my classmates would not tease me. I have been fortunate (knock on wood) to be relatively healthy all my life, whether overweight or not. After living with the short-lived weight loss successes and a plethora of failures that are part of having a weight problem, I seriously considered WLS about 3 years ago. I was working at Kaiser at the time. I did not meet Kaiser's criteria for WLS. My BMI definitely made me a candidate, but I had no co-morbidities. I was told by some of the doctors I knew and worked with that "if you had sleep apnea we could get you on the table tomorrow". So I accepted the news, took it as a sign that WLS was not meant to be for me, and began another weight-loss regimen and committment to exercise. I left Kaiser for the 2nd time in 2005 and got another health insurance carrier (Blue Cross PPO) at my new job. I knew for my personal sanity leaving my job at Kaiser was a blessing in disguise. Never did I realize that for my weight loss goals, losing Kaiser as my insurance carrier was also a blessing in disguise...
November 2005: Blue Cross PPO insurance became effective
December 2005: Saw a new PCP for a check up. He means well I suppose but "tactful" is not his middle name. He takes one look at my current weight on the chart and proceeds to tell me how I probably have every disease/health condition imaginable and that I will probably die on the walk to my car. He ordered a complete blood panel on me as a baseline (and to confirm all the dire predictions he has just scolded me about). He is absolutely shocked when my tests came back revealing that I don't have any health problems. All my tests were normal or excellent. But not being one to pass up on some negativity, he began to tell me that I was in fine health now, but "it was just a matter of time". And that I could never expect to lose all my excess weight on my own. I may be lucky enough to lose about 5% of my excess weight but it would be a constant struggle. He said that I should consider WLS and referred me to a surgeon. I didn't mind the recommendation for WLS, but I was not keen on the surgeon he was referring me to. My job involves credentialing physicians and I was somewhat familiar with that surgeon's education, training, experience and background and I knew I would not feel comfortable if he performed my surgery. So I took advantage of the fact that I was in a PPO plan (and not an HMO) and did my own research to find the surgeon that I wanted.
January 2006: I began to do internet research. I found ObesityHelp.com and got excited and encouraged. I read forums, reviews, and opinions. I decided that Cedars-Sinai was for me.
January 16, 2006: Called the Cedars-Sinai Center for Minimally Invasive & Bariatric Surgery for general information. I was told that they would be holding a free patient education conference the next day. I thought to myself "I am there".
January 17, 2006: I adjusted my work schedule and made my way across town to Cedars-Sinai (traffic is horrible) to attend the education conference. I was able to meet 2 of the 4 surgeons, the clinical program coodinator, the administrative program coordinator, and the dietician at the time. I liked the surgeons I met, the session was informative, and I got all my questions answered. I felt resolved to continue on.
January 23, 2006: Had WLS consultation. I first was screened by a nurse. Then they held a group meeting/Q&A session. I then met individually for a consultation with one of the physicians. He told me that I am a candidate for surgery. In discussing my insurance coverage with the physician, he pointed out that most insurance companies have a pre-existing condition exclusion periods and obesity would be considered a pre-existing condition. So he looked over my coverage booklet and sure enough there is a 6-month pre-existing condition exclusion. He explained that the consultation I had today would not be covered and that I could not move forward until after May 1, 2006 (which would be 6 months from the effective date of my insurance coverage). I have to admit that I was disappointed that I had put "the cart before the horse", but I was still encouraged and willing to wait for what I wanted.
April 2006: I called the Cedars-Sinai Center for Minimally Invasive & Bariatric Surgery and reminded them that I was still around and wanted to make the necessary appointments after May 1st for my consultation with the Dietician and Social Worker. Got appointments for 5/15/06. I did some research and found a GI physician that I felt comfortable with and made my endoscopy consultation appointment for 5/4/06.
May 4, 2006: I met with the GI physician. I liked him a lot and felt very comfortable. I brought in the May calendar from work so that I could TRY to schedule the procedure for one of the few days that I did not have to attend a meeting (my job requires me to attend and staff many meetings with physicians and hospital leadership). But I had also resolved that I would not put off my procedure just because it was not convenient for the folks at work. I would come first for a change. The first available date the physician had was 5/25/06 which just by fate was a day with no meeting at work. "I took it faster than a New York minute". 5/25 is also also my younger son's birthday.
May 15, 2006: I met with the Social Work first. She was very nice and friendly with me. She was realistic yet still encouraging. She required that I attend one support group meeting BEFORE my surgery since I didn't know anyone personally who had the surgery. She provided me with a list of several support groups in the Los Angeles area. She did not require that I come back to Cedars-Sinai and attend their support group. I then met with the Dietician. She was also pleasant. But I have been on so many diets and purchased so many diet books that she didn't really give me any information that I didn't know. I looked over the list of support groups, their locations, and the dates of their meetings. Dr. Fobi's (of Fobi Pouch fame) support group was meeting Saturday and it was close to my home. I called to make sure that the meeting would still be taking place on Saturday and get directions.
May 20, 2006: Attended the support group. Just by coincidence, I was the only person (meaning patient) there. The support group leader said he couldn't explain the low attendance on that day - normally there were at least 10 people at the meetings. It was nice because I had the undivided attention of the staff. They answered ever question that I could think of and then some. They gave me samples and handouts of info. They did "name drop" quite a bit regarding the celebrity clients of Dr. Fobi, but other than that there were really nice. I felt so comfortable that I committed to coming back again when actual patients would be there.
May 22, 2006: Faxed proof of my attendance at the support group to the Social Worker at Cedars-Sinai.
May 25, 2006: I had my endoscopy
May 31, 2006: My birthday!!! My endoscopy results were faxed to Cedars-Sinai. My paperwork should have been complete and my file could now be submitted for insurance authorization.
June 1, 2006: I called the Care Coordinator to make sure my paperwork was complete and to check on the status. Up to this point, my experience with the Care Coordinator IS MY ONLY COMPLAINT with the Cedars-Sinai Center for Minimally Invasive & Bariatric Surgery. He did not return my calls. When I did finally reach him, he told me that the GI's office had not faxed the results and my file was not complete. I called the GI's office and they confirmed that they faxed the results on 5/31/06 and confirmed the fax number. I contacted the Care Coordinator again and he said "Yes, that's one of our fax machines but its in another part of the office. Are you going to call your doctor and get them to fax it to the machine that is right next to me?". His attitude and his personality did not sit well with my attitude and my personality at all! I said to him "My physician faxed it to the number that YOU provided to me. So if it was the wrong fax number that was caused by you and no one else. Is there a reason that you can't get up (off you lazy a## - but I didn't say this part) and go get the fax?"
June 2, 2006: I confirmed that the Care Coordinator had the endoscopy results and that my file was complete. I inquired about submission for insurance authorizaton. He told me that I should check back in a week with the Authorization Coordinator for the status.
June 8, 2006: I called as I had been instructed and asked to speak with the Authorization Coordinator regarding my status. I was told that I had to speak with the Care Coordinator. I explained for the 2nd time that I did not want to deal with him any longer because I felt that his lack of response was unprofessional. I was promised that he would get back to me. He contacted me to only infuriate me once again. He informs me that my file has not yet gome for insurance authorization. It is still awaiting clinical clearance by the nurses. I asked him "when exactly were you going to let me know this? I called your office, you never called me!" By this point I was so pissed that if I had a gun, he would have been a goner. So I had to spend the rest of my day calling the nursing staff to find out why I had not been cleared clinically. To make a long story short (I know it's already too late for that), they cleared me within an hour of me calling. Basically the lack of clinical clearance rested with the Care Coordinator's failure to follow up. The nursing staff assured me that this time my file had ACTUALLY been submitted to the Authorization Coordinator. I HAD NEEDLESSLY LOST OF WEEK OF TIME.
June 16, 2006: The Authorization Coordinator/Surgery Scheduler called. My insurance company authorized the surgery. My surgeon was starting his vacation on 6/28 and not returning until the 2nd week of July. I got a surgery date of 7/12/06. I was so EXCITED AND SO RELIEVED. But the work was just beginning for me. I had so much to do on a very specific time-table. There were things that I could not do too early or too late.
June 16, 2006: Located my boss and let her know that I had a surgery date and that I would need to leave my current assignment (I have worked through a registry service since leaving Kaiser) by 7/7.
June 27, 2006: I had my pre-op appointment with my surgeon, Dr. Khalili. I had to meet with him on this day because he started his vacation the next day. This was my first time meeting Dr. Khalili. All went well and I felt comfortable with him performing my surgery.
July 3, 2006: Went to see my PCP for H&P, labs, EKG, chest x-ray, and medical clearance. WHAT A DISASTER! If you recall I haven't seen my PCP since late December 2005 when he told me it was a matter of time before I just dropped dead. Well, when I walk into his office he is now in a wheelchair. The little devil in me caused thoughts to rush to my head like "Well for as much as you made me feel like crap, it looks like I'm in better health than you." I know that I need my current PCP because he is a means to an end, but I did make a mental note to find a new PCP after this was over. Obviously, my PCP and/or his office staff did not read the letter from my surgeon until I arrived for my appointment. The labs I needed included a lipid panel which meant I would need to be fasting. My appointment with my PCP was not until 4:30 p.m. If you think I would have been fasting until 4:30 p.m., you must not know what it means to have a weight problem. So instead of drawing my blood in my PCP's office on 7/3, I would have to find some outside source to do it on the 4TH of JULY (good luck). After 12 attempts using 2 different machines, they finally got a readable EKG on me (I swear I do have a heart!) I left my PCP's office with an order for the labs, an order for the chest x-ray and more work for me to do.
July 3, 2006: I went to a nearby hospital for the chest x-ray. Another stumbling block. My PCP had written "pre-op work up" as the diagnosis on the order for the chest x-ray. Even though that was the actual reason for the chest x-ray, in the world of remimbursement, that is an unacceptable diagnosis. They wouldn't do the chest x-ray until he changed the diagnosis. By this time my PCP's office was closed for the day and would also be closed on the 4th of July. Nothing could be done until 7/5.
July 4, 2006: I went back to the same hospital for my lab work. I had now fasted for the required 12 hours.
July 5, 2006: My PCP's office corrected my chest x-ray order. After work, I went back to the same hospital and had the chest x-ray.
July 5, 2006: I haven't told my ex-husband David about my surgery but I did ask him to be the executor of my will and to handle my funeral. Most people would question a request like that. But David knows that I am anal retentive/OCD about planning, so he just figures I am going through one of my phases and this is the business of the day. I sent him a copy of my will and a list of all my assets and the contact information for the financial institutions. I set aside money to pay for my funeral and made David the beneficiary for that money so there will be no burden on anyone after I am gone. I also sent him a copy of what I want for my funeral, which read as follows:
FINAL INSTRUCTIONS (Felicia Lea Bryant)
I want my remains to be cremated. I would like some of my ashes to be placed in cremation jewelry and presented to the following individuals:
1. David B. Sr.; 2. David B. II ; 3. Joshua B.; 4. Oliver W.; 5. Langston (Chuck) B.; 6. Brent B.; 7. Anthouny B.
I would like the remainder of my ashes to be kept in a white marble urn.
I would like the following music played at my memorial service:
1. Side Show by Blue Magic; 2. Perfect Combination by Stacy Lattisaw & Johnny Gill; 3. Ben by Michael Jackson; 4. Brandy (I Really Miss You) by the O'Jays; 5. all the music of Teena Marie
July 6, 2006: Got a call from one of the nurses at the Cedars-Sinai Center for Minimally Invasive & Bariatric Surgery. She was just checking of the status of my tests and the medical clearance from my PCP. I explained all that I had gone through but I was doing everything in my power to get it done. I told her that my PCP planned on writing my medical clearance on his prescription pad because this was his normal practice. Because of my experience with hospitals, I asked her if that would be acceptable. She said "NO" and they had a form that he could complete. I coordinated with them faxing the form to my PCP and getting it in his hot little hands.
July 6, 2006: Hustled across town after work to Cedars-Sinai (did I mention how horrible traffic is?) for my mandatory Pre-Procedural Testing Appointment and Type and Screen.
July 7, 2006: Got a call from my PCP's office. They got all my results, completed the medical clearance form and faxed to the Cedars-Sinai Center for Minimally Invasive & Bariatric Surgery. IT'S ALL GOOD RIGHT.....WRONG! Cedars-Sinai just informed them that the lab failed to run the comprehensive metabolic panel as part of my blood work. I had to get back to my PCP's office right away to draw blood again. HOLD THE PHONE, MARY! I was at work and it was the last day of my assignment. I could not just walk out. I am not that kind of employee - never have been and never will be. I had to think real quick. There were 5 labs in vicinity of where I was working, all of which were much closer than getting back to my PCP's office in traffic on a Friday. I asked them to faxed the lab order to me at work. The closest lab was located next door to the hospital where I was working. Got the blood drawn (at this point this was the 3rd time blood had been drawn from me this week). I called my PCP's office and told them I had done it. I THINK I'M FINALLY DONE. I WAS EXHAUSTED AT THIS POINT. NOTHING TO DO BUT WAIT FOR MY SURGERY DAY.
July 7, 2006: I sent the following e-mail to my ex-brother-in-law Langston (Chuck) and asked him to relay these messages in case I don't make it:
It's almost that time for my surgery and I have to take care of business and you have to help me.
You are the only person I told about the surgery. David doesn't know. The boys don't know.
My surgery is Wednesday, July 12th. I will go into surgery in the morning and I am expected to stay overnight and be discharged some time on Thursday, July 13th. I will be at Cedar-Sinai Medical Center. If you don't hear from me, then that might mean that things went wrong. My mother's number is (310) XXX-XXXX. Michelle's number is (562) XXX-XXXX. Call them.
If something does go wrong, I have a WILL and I have taken care of my responsibilities that way. But I need your help to get these messages to the following people:
DAVID: Tell him that not telling him about my surgery has been the hardest thing to keep it from him. I tell David everything and it has been that way since I met him when I was 15 years old. But on this subject, he just can't understand. The last time I talked to him about me wanting to have surgery 1 or 2 years ago, he said he didn't know why his love for me and him feeling that I'm attractive wasn't enough for me. That was the problem with our marriage - that the way he felt about me was just never enough. He was very scared that I would die or something would go wrong and it would have been unnecessary. I know he loves me very much. And I know that if push came to shove he would support me 100% with this despite what he believes. Maybe he can understand it like this...when David and I talk, he tells me what he wants in his life is PEACE (peace of mind, peace and quiet). Tell him that I did this so that I could have some PEACE.
THE BOYS: Tell them that I am honored to be their mother and that I love them much more than I thought I was ever capable of. They taught me how to be so much more than I ever believed I could be.
ANTHOUNY: Tell him that I wanted to make everyday his birthday. I tried to show him that he can have unconditional love because that is what I believe he deserves.
BRENT: Tell him to never forget what I told him and what I shared with him. And tell him “Thank You”.
NORWOOD: Tell him I'm glad that I got to get re-acquainted with him after all these years and I am better for the experience. He dropped a lot of knowledge on me. He is truly cool people.
LEA: Tell her that she is so special to me and I am so very proud of her. I will forever be her guardian angel, always there to protect her. If she ever needs me, just think about me and I will be with her.
This is what I need you to do if I don't make it through this. BUT if I make it and when my journey is complete then I need you to throw me the BEST DAMN WILDEST PARTY THAT THERE HAS EVER BEEN. I need you to make sure that everyone is there.
Thanks for everything. Much love.
July 9, 2006: I started on the clear liquid diet.
July 10 - 11, 2006: I have been pleasantly surprised and blessed to receive many e-mails of well wishes and encouragement from the members at OH. I thank each and every one of you for thinking of me and reaching out to me.
July 12, 2006: TODAY'S THE DAY. I'm anxious, nervous, and scared all at the same time. I have done so much for other people throughout the years. This time I'm going to do something for myself and my physicial, mental, and spiritual well-being and not feel guilty about it. My only regret today is that I did not tell me-exhusband David about my surgery. I tell David absolutely everything about me and my life, but I did not share this with him.
July 13, 2006: Released from the hospital and fine. I feel discomfort but not much pain.
July 14, 2006: A friend, who doesn't know David at all but can tell how close we are, convinced me that I should tell David about my surgery - that it was the right thing to do. I called David and told him that I had surgery and I was sorry that I did not tell me before it happened. Before I could get any of the details out, David said, "Oh God, I am still connected to you even though we aren't together anymore. I have been having pains in my stomach since Wednesday. I should have known that was you." It was weird because at that point, I hadn't told him what kind of surgery I had or that the date of the surgery was Wednesday.
