starletanne
Well my story goes...I was raised by my grandparents. I was abandoned as a child, but was never left short in the love department, however my whole life there was always something missing. I was a chunky kid, teenager and then as a young adult I got a job in an office which did not help my sedentary lifestyle. I always had an eating disorder- I was a binge eater, I never had the nerve to purge. I had a cousin that suffered from Bulimia, and that was very scary to me so instead I just ate for whatever reason. So no longer walking around at school I gained a lot of weight rapidly, then began the dieting. Oh the dieting! Well in my family we all have somewhat of a weight problem however my older (who in my eyes is almost perfect) never did, so she always had me on some form of a diet. So in some really weird way; I'd self sabotage; eat, drink and be merry. What I didn't realize I was hurting myself not her. I was up to a 6 pack of soda a day at least, I can honestly say since I was 5 yrs. old I've had a soda a day (at least) up until July. There were periods where I quit drinking soda, but not for long, sugar was my vice. Anyway so I lost weight, gained weight, I'd go on Atkins, Slimfast, then I went to Curves and just exercised. I never felt so good in my life. I wasn't trying to diet or be anyone else I was just exercising mindlessly, if anyone knows Curves you know what I mean you just change stations and 3 times your done. Anyway I moved from city and an hr away commute which ruined my exercise time then I went back to dieting and gained all my weight back, and was just completely unhappy. I was on anti-depressants, fighting with my partner, my clothes didn't fit. Ultimately I was just disgusted my life and myself but didn't realize it. I was completely out of control of my life. My 4 years relationship ended and I hit bottom I went to the doctor and weeks before my 25th birthday he says,"I'm showing some signs that liver isn't functioning properly, I am going to have you go for some more tests and an ultrasound. Don't worry you're young I'm sure you will be fine. It could have been something you ate." One month later I'm in the office of the Gastroenterologist and he is telling me that among Hispanic woman, there have been reports that living the lifestyle I have lived, the weight loss and gain and with my family history in 2 years I am in very high risk for liver disease or cirrhosis of the liver, which could lead me to be on a donor's list for a liver within 5 years if I don't get my weight under control immediately. He was the nicest doctor however he understood, that some people are just wired this way. I felt like he understood my battle, Hell, he explained it to me that it wasn't my fault. Then there came those words I will recommend you for gastric bypass, I'd give it to you today if I could. That was the point in my life where I realized that I had become something I never wanted to be and something I never realized I was- morbidly obese. Literally. It took some getting used to, I went on one final diet alone with my sister where I lost 25 lbs, but again my depression over ran my emotions. I knew I couldn't do it alone. I had a good friend at work getting the surgery and I saw my friend go from 305 and just start shrinking, it wasn't how fast she lost the weight that lured me toward the surgery, it was how happy she seemed. I still battled my hunger, my binges, my urges when she with this surgery no longer had those problems. I mean everyone is different; I know this because I still crave things like crazy but that is head hunger. So I decided to do it, now I am here. I'm still depressed but that is life circumstantial issues. Surgery wasn't the answer to my depression it was the answer for my health issues because I had fatty liver and was seriously on my way to other health risks. In my case I saw it as preventive medicine and I am very glad that I took that step.
