Lisa O.

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Dear Scarlet, (My Lap Band):

I'm writing this letter to you with thanks and gratitude for all the support you've given me.  This week you and I busted through that nasty plateau and together have reached a new milestone.  75 lbs gone forever!

I'm so happy with the weight loss, that I'm not going to be mad at you for not allowing me to eat the corned beef I made for St. Patrick's Day or for the fact that I can no longer eat my favorite shrimp cocktail from Costco!  I still don't understand it, but I know how you are and you may just be teaching me another invaluable lesson on how to slow down and chew properly.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to know when enough is enough.  Together, with the choices I'm making in regard to "what" I'm eating to fuel my body and the exercise I'm starting to enjoy, I feel strong!  I now weigh 254.8 and since I've decided to break this journey into ten pound increments I've set my sights on 249.  I'm giving myself the conservative goal of accomplishing that by the end of April.

I love the little changes that are occurring because of our new lifestyle.  Your constant companionship and support has allowed me to wear size 18W jeans vs. a 24W and today I'm wearing a 2x sweater that my mother gave me for Christmas two years ago that I kept as an incentive instead of returning it.  My undies and bras are too big, I can shave my legs without hyperventilating.  I ran on the treadmill, YES I said RAN!  My shoes are loose, my readers are too big for my face, my over-sized sleep shirts fall off my shoulders and my favorite pants are getting longer!  I fit in our bathtub, I can get up off the floor without holding on to something or someone and I can touch my toes while standing.  My feet are not in constant pain anymore and I can walk rather than hobble when I get out of bed in the morning.  These changes and so many others remind me of what a miracle you are!

There's a lot of debate out there about whether WLS is a cop-out and  which surgery is better, (band or RNY).  Well, Twiddle-dee-dee Scarlet!  Here's what I have to say about that!

I know that because of you and with God as my witness,  "I'll never be hungry again!"

Lisa O.

March is almost at it's end.  The calendar says that spring is here, but you have to look very hard to see signs of it in the Great Northwest.  There's hope though!  It didn't snow this weekend here in the Cascade foothills, in fact, yesterday we even saw the sun!

I love Spring!  For me it's the season of re-birth, growth and hope. More so this year than ever before, I'm feeling so joyful and excited!  Because of the Lap Band it's my year of re-birth.  I've started a journey filled with new possibilities and growth in spirit, mind and body.  This year I'm not just hoping for a future of change but I'm living it .  I'm watching a life of new realities open before my eyes.

Here are some of the exciting new discoveries SV's and NSV's:

I reached the half-way point toward my weight loss goal.
I cleaned my closet and realized that I only have a quarter of my clothes left that I can wear.  The consignment shop is very excited to receive my delivery on April 11th!  (I have a lot of clothes!)
I went to the store yesterday wearing a pair of size 24 jeans and left wearing a pair, size 18!  My DH kept checking out my butt!  It was fun!
I got a new hair cut that makes me feel fresh and sassy!  I have bangs for the first time in many years because I finally deemed my faced not too round to wear them well.
I joined Curves and discovered that I have muscles I didn't know existed and I can just start to see some upper arm definition!
I'm improving in Pilates and don't look like a floundering whale on the beach.  I actually feel somewhat graceful and coordinated!
I discovered my sternum!  I haven't felt it in years!
I've seen parts of my body that I haven't been able to see for a long, long time without using a mirror!
I enjoy shaving my legs because I can actually do it without feeling like I'm going to pass out from lack of oxygen.
I sat next to someone in a row of chairs at a meeting and didn't have to spread out the chairs so my hips wouldn't touch the person next to me.
I met Cheryl, aka, PixieStix from OH for coffee and a long chat.  It was really fun!
I found out that my new friend and kindred spirit from OH, Jean M.,  is coming to visit me in August!
A DF went to her first doc appt. for WLS.  We went to the introductory seminar together and she's going get the Lap Band.   We gained weight together and now we'll lose it together!
Ziggy learned how to open the door and let himself in from outside!  He's so smart but now I wish he'd learn how to close it after he comes inside!  At least I get exercise getting up out of my chair about 50 times a day to shut the door!

Life is good!

Thank you God for our many blessings.
Lisa O.

I decided to blog today about the foods I eat since banded.  This question comes up so often on the message board that I thought I could refer newbies to my blog rather than type the same thing over and over. 

I guess like most of us I am a creature of habit.  I find my self going to the same foods over and over again, but am always looking for a way to change it up!  If I don't have enough variety on hand that's when I tend to "cross over" and start eating things I shouldn't.

Not in any particular order, here are the things I eat on a regular basis and try to have on hand in the pantry, fridge or freezer:

1. Steel cut oatmeal- Trader Joes.  Comes in the freezer section.  Hearty and great with nuts and cinnamon or berries and an equal.
2. Frozen mixed berries- Costco.  Handy for plain yogurt or oatmeal or just alone.
3. Toasted Flax seed- Trader Joes.  Good in yogurt, soups, stews, etc.  Has a nutty flavor and adds fiber and protein.
4. No sugar added frozen fruit bars-Dryers.  35 calories each.  My go-to snack in place of ice cream at night.
5. Edamame, (soybeans in the pod)-Costco or Trader Joes.  Come in individual packs.  Microwave, salt and eat them with your fingers.  Just squeeze and pop the beans into your mouth. Cures my craving for chips.
6. CP frozen Shrimp Wonton Soup-Costco.  110 calories, 5 whole shrimp in a thin, band friendly, won ton.  I often eat that with my edamame for a meal.
7. Wasa crackers.  I like the light rye because I get two pieces for the same calories as the heartier rye flavor, etc.  I love to make open-faced sandwiches on them.  Anything goes, i.e., turkey with Havarti and mustard, tuna melt with cheese, chicken salad with dill, FF re-fried beans with salsa, etc., etc.
8. FF Re-fried Beans-Costco or anywhere.  I mix in chicken, LF cheese and salsa.
9. Grims Turkey Sticks-Costco.  Like peperoni but turkey.  Only 45 calories each.
10. String Cheese-anywhere.  Great grab-N-go snack.
11. LF Cottage Cheese- Any brand.  A daily staple for me.  I never ate it BB, (before band), now I love it.  My favorite is to mix it with chicken salad made with olive oil mayo, dill and garlic powder.  I also like it with pineapple chunks.
12. FF Ricotta Cheese- any brand.  I like it best as a dessert.  I mix in cinnamon and artificial sweetener.  It tastes just like the filling in a canoli!  I also like it layered with ground turkey, marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese!
13.  Nuts-  Walnuts, pecans and raw almonds.  I can't handle eating them alone unless I separate the portion into a baggy.  But, I love to add them to my oatmeal for good fat, protein and crunch!
14. Grilled Chicken Breast strips- Costco.  This is the only chicken I can eat.  It's pre-cooked and really moist!  I use it for a lot of things.
15. Ground Lean Turkey.  I use it in place of anything I would normally have made from ground beef.  Way less calories!
16. Vita Rain Flavored Water-Costco.  No sugar, no calories.  Comes in a 4 flavor variety pack and it's made all the difference in the world for me getting in my daily water.
17. Crystal Light, 5 calories or less.  I have the individual packets in my desk drawer at work so I can add them to the large bottle of water I bring to work every day.
18. Jello SF Instant Pudding.  I'm not a jello fan, but I love pudding.  There's a large variety of flavors and it sets in 5 minutes.  I always have some in the fridge for a "sweet tooth emergency"!  New favorite flavors:  Dolce de Leche Caramel and Banana Fudge.
19.  Campbell's Vegetable Beef soup-  I don't know why, but since my surgery I crave this soup.  Maybe it's the sodium or maybe it's comfort food from my childhood but I love it.  The entire can is 220 calories and it has barley, veggies and tender chunks of beef. 
20. Fresh Yams.  Love them cooked in the microwave with just salt and pepper.
21. NF Plain Greek Yogurt-Trader Joes.  Sometimes I eat the flavored ones but I always have plain on hand to use with cooking, sauces, dressings or just alone with berries.
22. Frozen or pre-cooked Brown Rice-Trader Joes.  Good to have on hand for stir-fry.
23. Fresh Blueberries (when available)-Costco.  I splurge on these if they have them.  Loaded with anti-oxidants and excellent on yogurt or on top of oatmeal or LF granola.
24.  Minature Crust less Quiche-Trader Joes, frozen section.  2 to a pack, bacon and feta cheese or Chorizo, egg and cheese.  They are the perfect "band size meal".  Easy to take to work and microwave.
25. Real Egg, 99% Liquid Egg Whites-Costco.  I love these instead of regular eggs.  They make great omelets and scrambles and don't get stuck like regular eggs do for some reason. 1/2 cup is only 60 calories. 
26. Kraft Olive Oil Mayonaise.  I can't take the LF regular mayo, but I use this for tuna and chicken salad. 
27.  Apples, pears, berries, celery, cucumber, beets, mushrooms, green pepper, broccoli and a variety of "Steam fresh" frozen veggies.  This is what I tend to go for in the vegetable and fruit categories. 
28. Arrabiata Tomato Sauce or Organic Tomato Basil Sauce-Trader Joes.  Love either over ground turkey.  Spaghetti sauce without the spaghetti.
29. Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches.  A rare treat.  140 calories.
30. Asparagus cooked on the grill with olive oil.
31. Almond Butter-  high in calories but better for you than peanut butter.  I love a TBS mixed in my oatmeal.
32. Tuna, Chicken or Egg salad made with olive oil mayo.  I like it mixed with cottage cheese.
33. Pure Protein Choc. Peanut butter Protein Bars.  The best bar with the lowest sugar I've found.  20 g of protein, 190 calories, 3 g of sugar.  Yummy and very filling.
34. Babybel semi-soft cheese rounds.  70 calories, great semi melted on a Wasa cracker.


Here are some other practices I use that I feel have made a difference for me:

-I haven't had a protein shake since post op liquid phase.  My Nut says no to liquid forms of protein at this point unless I'm absolutely too tight.  They just don't keep me full enough between meals.
-I try to limit my sugar to 5g per serving.  It's really hard but it's helped keep my sugar addiction at bay.  Occasionally I have more, but I try to always keep the sugar grams below 17 per serving.
-I eat 800-1000 calories a day.  I know this is low, but I don't feel weak, tired or malnourished in any way.  This is what my NUT recommends.  I deduct the calories burned each day via exercise to hit that number.  Otherwise, I may eat 1200 calories, but I'll exercise to burn 300 calories, etc.
-I eat 60-80 g of protein each day.
-I try to eat only COMPLEX carbs, not simple or white carbs.
-I log EVERYTHING I eat on thedailyplate.com.  Even when if I eat candy or something else I know I shouldn't I log it.  That way I don't feel too guilty because I'm counting it and working it into my daily calories.
-I try to get 20-30 minutes of exercise a day.  I don't over-do it because I know I won't go back to it if I get too sore or hurt myself.  Right now it's enough, but I know I will have to "step it up" as I lose more weight.

Lisa O.

I weighed in yesterday for the Tuesday Mother's Day Challenge and to my surprise the Wii Fit said 268.2!  I've been approaching this journey with the goal of losing 10 pound increments and I just crossed over!  I've lost 61.8 lbs in just under 4 months. 
That alone made yesterday a good day, but after work I saw a freind that I haven't seen in a month.  He was walking toward me on the street and looked right at me but I could tell he didn't recognize me!   O.k., I have bangs now, but I don't think that change was enough to make me unrecognizable!  I said "Hi Erin"!  He stopped and said, "Oh my Gosh Lisa!  Look at you!"  I said, "Do I look different"?   He said, "You look amazing!  You've lost so much weight!" 
It's weird.  Of course I notice in my clothes, but I don't think I see the overall effect of losing 60+ lbs.  It was very satisfying to have someone have such a reaction! 
My husband is super supportive and always comments on different parts of my body that are shrinking, but it's not the same as having someone who hasn't seen you for a while notice! 
Now I'm focused on the next  10 lbs.  See you soon 250's!

I'm writing this blog tonight because every once in a while I see a post about loneliness.  I know about loneliness.  I spent many years isolating and binging trying to console myself and block the feelings and emotions I was running from. 

Here is my love story; a description of my journey to self-awareness, self-love and romantic love...

January 2007 was a hell of a month!  While I was in Italy on business I received the call that all of us with elderly parents dread.  My dad was in the hospital with Sepsis as a result of an innocent urinary tract infection!  The nurse told my sister to gather the family!  For one second I thought about staying in Italy, because how could I possibly leave work?!  You see, this is what I'd become.  Work was the one thing I was good at!  I failed at marriage when I was 23, (that's another whole story), and I've been overweight for most of my life.  But work?  Work I'm good at, work is where I'm successful!  In my moment of indecision I ran across the street from the hotel to get Gelato.  Of course, what else would I do in a crisis situation!  I brought it back to my room and while eating I realized that I was being ridiculous!  My father was in danger of dying!  What was I doing in Italy eating Italian ice cream?!  Long story short, I got to the airport and was home 12 hours later.  Luckily, my dad pulled through!  It was a blessing for sure, but for one sick moment I felt guilty that I left work for no reason.  That's when I realized just how ill I was and how I was totally consumed by my job.  I managed millions of dollars, led a team and had great results, but I was killing myself with food!  I was lonely, sad, depressed and really unhappy.  Then I got the Mersa virus!  Yep, I missed a week of work after already missing a week of work because of my dad's hospital stay.  I'd never been so sick in my life!  While recuperating I had a lot of time to think amidst the fever induced nightmares, about where I was in my life.  My oldest sister is 16 years older than I am.  She liked to talk about when "we" retire.  She's a devout Christian who, after 4 failed marriages, has happily committed to a life of celibacy.  She loved to talk about moving into my house and how we could travel together in our old age.  I was soon to be 45, but I was not ready to retire with my celibate sister!!  I wasn't signing up for a life of me pushing her around in a wheel chair when I was 60 and she was 76!  No way!  Besides, I hadn't given up on finding a man, had I?  Is that what I'd done over the past 18 years while I was focusing on being the best employee and successful business woman?  Had I given up?  Yes, I guess I had.  That sad realization mobilized me into action!  I love my sis and I will push her around in a wheel chair and travel with her anytime, but I still saw myself married!  I felt with all my heart that it was Gods plan for me to have a life partner.  What was I doing wasting the life I was meant to live?  Prince Charming was not knocking on my door, I rarely talked to strangers on the airplane, I didn't go to bars, there were no single guys at my church under the age of 75!  I had to do something, something different from what I was currently doing which was NOTHING!

So,,, I did what every smart, single, liberated gal does in the 21st century!  I went on line!  I had met so many women recently that had made matches on line, or at least were having fun dating.  I thought why not?  Why not me?  But in the back of my mind I was answering myself, "because you are obese"!  That's why!  People always say that some guys don't care about weight.  In my experience that wasn't true...unless it was a fetish which didn't interest me!   But people always say that, so could it be true?  Do those men really exist?  My single-minded self took over and started treating on line dating like a job.  I was determined to prove my theory correct, that nobody could love me just as I was.

It took me a while to write my on-line profile.  I'm not used to saying nice things about myself and I felt like I was writing a "sell job".  Could I really write the truth with introspective honesty?  What do men want?  What are they looking for?  I decided that honesty would be my policy and I was brutally honest!  My ad read like a dare!  "SDF looking for a smart, funny, man who doesn't care that I'm obese and can't do sports, can barely walk on the beach and goes to church every Sunday with her parents!"  O.k., it wasn't that blunt, but I WAS honest about being overweight.  I stated that I was looking for a Christian guy that would go to church every Sunday.  I only looked for someone within a 50 mile radius because why would I want to fall for a guy who lived on the other side of the country?  I wasn't interested in a long distance relationship!  I wanted hugs and kisses.  I wanted to feel beautiful and cherished.  I wanted an intelligent conversationalist who was close to his family!
I thought writing the ad was tough, but the hardest thing was posting a picture!  Yikes!  You mean I have to put myself out there where everyone can see me?!  I spent an hour taking pictures, (head shots only), in front of my bathroom mirror!  I can't say I was ever happy with the pictures, but I finally got tired and thought, "What the hell, no body's going to want to answer my ad anyway"!  I posted the pictures with my ad, pushed the button and went to bed.

Days went by.  No replies.  The website I used showed how many people looked at my ad though...20, 45, 62, 104, 178, 203 people looked at my ad.  No e-mails.  This went on for a few days and I was feeling really smug!  I was right!  Nobody wanted a fat girl, no matter how successful, funny, even pretty!  Nobody could see through all that fat! 

I had a great time checking out the ads though!  I even contacted a couple of guys that I thought looked like a possible candidate.  No response.  It was humbling and satisfying all at the same time because even though nobody was interested in me I was right!

Then a week into it this guy wrote me an e-mail.  He was a divorced father of 2 grown children.  He lived 30 miles from me.  He's a Christian that goes to church.  He likes Costco.  (Yes, I actually said that I like Costco in my ad and those of you that know me know it's the truth!).  We emailed and we talked on the phone.  We had a lot in common.  He made me laugh and he thought I was funny AND smart!  We decided to meet.  I thought, o.k.  here we go!  He likes me, he's seen my picture, (head shot), but wait till he sees the rest of me!  He'll go running!  I'll know the minute our eyes meet because I'll see the disappointment.  We met for coffee at a local bookstore.  I got there first so I would see him before he saw me.  I was ready, prepared for rejection but strong in my determination to prove, once and for all, that I couldn't be loved.  I was so nervous.  I sat in the corner chair, eyes riveted to the door when in he walks.  He looked a me.  I stood up.  Then I saw it!  I could see in his beautiful blue eyes that he thought I was beautiful!  It was right there!  Desire, acceptance, relief!  He was in to me! And I was in to him!  Eight months later we got married.  We had the most incredible wedding surrounded by friends and family.  We all celebrated the miracle of love and marriage between two people who found each other because we tried.  We opened our minds and hearts and stuck our necks out.  While I feared rejection I knew that I was not meant to be alone and I'm not.  I'm loved.

It can happen for you if you want it to.

Lisa

I found a job!  I decided to accept a job at the same company.  Eventhough I applied outside there just isn't much available in these uncertain economic times !  I took a slight pay cut, but the new job requires no travel and is strictly M-F with no OT or weekends.  I work in retail, so this is a rarity!  I think it's a good job, though very different from what I'm used to and will be a real test for me in regards to how I define myself.  My job has always been a BIG part of who I am because it carried some prestige in the eyes of my friends and family.  Now I will be more "behind the scenes" and it will be interesting to watch the effects on my ego.  Well, I guess being aware of the potential pitfalls is a good start.
The best news?  I've lost 50 lbs!  The not-so-good, I've just hit my first plateau!  Ever since hitting the 50 lbs mark I've been going up 1.5 and down 1.5, for 2 weeks.  I've decided to make this journey in chunks of 10 lbs.  I'm going to change some things up in my diet, (like less sodium), to see if I can get off the plateau and lose the next 10 which would put me at 270. 
My ankle injury from Thanksgiving Day is keeping me from aerobic exercise so I'm concentrating on Pilates, strength and balance.  I love my Wii Fit and it's my exercise saviour right now.  I'm going to start back on the treadmill this week, but no running for a while.
I'm blessed.  I have a loving husband, awesome family and a job!  Thank you God!

It's the beginning of 2009. 
What a life!   2008 was not an easy year yet I'm thankful for the many blessings I've received and look forward to finding answers to the challenges that keep presenting themselves.  I'm full of hope for this coming year and while terrified some days, I'm mostly hopeful.  I'm looking forward to a year with new perspective as I continue the journey as "one of the banded".
I found out a week before my surgery that after 25 years with the same company they are eliminating my position due to "work force reduction" and I am out of a job!  The fact that I survived that stress, (so far), and have been dealing with it without food is the real miracle!   It was a blessing that I was approved by insurance so quickly or I would have had to wait until the new year and I wouldn't have had insurance!  See how God works? 
I have until the end of this month to find a job within the same company or accept the severance package.  Truthfully, I'd like to take the severance and run, but I'm really nervous considering these uncertain economic times!  I'm applying for jobs for the first time in 25 years, basically for the first time in my life!  (I've worked for the same company since I was 19.)  Still, I'm working my program and ironically the band is saving my sanity for now.  It really helps to have something positive to focus on.  I know that if I can do this, I can do anything!
Thank you friends of OH for your support.  This site is a comforting place to come when life gets me down but most importantly it's the best place to come to share hope and success!
Lisa O.