sylvie_55

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

On Monday, August 9, 2010, it will be exactly 2 years and 1 month since my surgery.  Many things have happened since then.  I was 53 and 6 days away from my actual birthday and now am double nickels (55) and I was born in 1955 too.

I had breast reduction surgery on June 10th and am getting ready to go back on the exercise wagon again.  I should have tried it sooner but it has been sooo hot and humid and I'm pretty sure now the stitches are good.  I didn't want a couple of them to get worse so I have held off.

So many things have happened to me.  I know feel like I am living and not existing and taking up space in the world.  When I was 407 pounds, I broke chairs, toilet seats and felt awful along with all of the other not so wonderful things that result in being that weight.  As Dr. Chaing told me on my 2 year checkup, I was on the road to nowhere but it was actually on the way to somewhere I didn't want to be.  I had high chloresterol, borderline high blood sugar, knee pain, back pain, degenerative disc disease so bad that I couldn't walk 25 feet without excruiating pain, depression, edema so bad that I could watch my ankles swell when I got home from work and the crowing glory was the severe sleep apnea (67 AVERAGE episodes an hour) and asthma. 

2 years later I still have to take my thyroid and lasix (but 1/2 of what I used to take).  I still need the inhaler but haven't had the CPAP for over a year. 

I feel like I have so much to look forward to.  Do I regret having surgery?  ABSOLUTELY NOT--my only regret is not doing it sooner.  I also have found out that, in the words of Shari (a/k/a Jupiter6), I CAN DO HARD THINGS!!

Well, last Sunday was my 18 month surgiversary and of my rebirth.  I just wanted to record my thoughts.

If someone ever told me that I would have accomplished what I have in the last 18 months, I would have told them they were crazy.  18 months ago I was a SMO 53 year old woman who was slowly killing herself by not taking care of herself because she didn't feel as though she was worth it.  Medically speaking, I presented myself to my surgeon with 386 pounds on surgery date, depression, edema, degenerative disc disease, severe sleep apnea, high chloresterol, borderline high blood pressure, borderline high blood sugar, knee pain, back pain, constant fatigue and generally feeling pretty miserable which increased my feelings of worthlessness. 

I've been told that I have a new attitude which some people like and some don't.  I don't think my boss really cares for it because for the first time in 3 years, I actually talk back to her if the occasion requires it.  I feel I am worthwhile and I don't care who knows it.  I keep it in check, of course, but I am making a conscious effort not to print DOORMAT on my back. 

I will continue this but I just wanted to get this going.

Well, one year ago today, I was at Elmbrook Memorial Hospital spitting out water from ice chips after having the most life changing event of my life--LAP RNY surgery performed by Dr. Manfred Chaing, whom I think is the greatest surgeon in the world.

If anyone told me that I would have lost 180 pounds from my highest weight and 160 pounds from surgery weight and going from a BMI of 64 to a BMI of 37, I would never have believed it. 

I had my one year follow up appointment today and all reports were good, including the bone density scan on my spine and hips-only problem was potassium which was a problem before surgery due to my having to take diuretics.  I have given up a few things:

Constant pain in my back and knees
Shortness of breath
My CPAP machine
Having to order Roamans 5X clothes and having them starting to become tight
Constant swelling in my legs and ankles
Sleeping an average of 2 hours a night due to sleep apnea
Horrible chloresterol readings
Borderline high blood pressure
Borderline high blood sugar

I have gained

Confidence in myself
The ability to recognize myself as a person deserving to be treated with respect
Starting to like what I see in the mirror
Wrinkles because the fat is gone -
Not to have my car seat pushed all the way to the back because I couldn't fit
the ability to cross my legs
Getting a good night's sleep
Being able to exercise and enjoy it
Just being happy being alive

I think I'm reflective because I have posted a lot today which I normally haven't done. 

Thank you Dr. Chaing for giving me the tool that will help me on this continuing journey.

It has been a few months since I posted last--been busy and it is not a good idea to do this at work in this economy.

I am down to 247 pounds, 160 pounds from my highest weight of 407 and 135 down from surgery date.  I will hopefully be able to give up my CPAP and I am feeling better despite vitamin issues (the drugstore ones only are good for so long) and some issues with not being able to stuff my feelings down with food.  I am verbalizing them more which I don't think my husband likes as much because we get into more disagreements and since I am becoming close to my boss' size (I was always much bigger than her which enabled her to push me around more), I don't think she likes these dynamics.  She has not said a word about my weight loss though others have.

I am having a hard time with the flow of emotions that have come up because for years I have not been validated and have had to stuff my feelings down with food.  I did see a psych who suggested I take Vitamin D because she could tell by looking at me that my vitamin quality wasn't there.  She specializes in food addicitions and food addictive behavior and when I had a panic attack one day in my office (thank god noone saw it), I decided that she might be the person to see.  I feel physically better since my weight loss but the emotional part is something I am working thru.

Will post again sooner. 

It has been awhile (very busy with wedding planning, getting 3x a week of exercise in, etc.

I am now down, as of this morning, to 294, 113 pounds less than my highest weight of 407 on June 18th (almost 6 months) and 83 pounds from surgery date.  All this after 5 months out

I am very happy with this because it is starting to slow down a bit but I know I would have never have lost all this without Bariatric Institute and Dr. Chaing.  I am indebted to them forever. 

I wish I were down a bit more but I know I will not be rolling down the aisle at my daughter's wedding 2 weeks from Saturday.  I got enough Spanx type support to suck some in (lol). 

I have been to 2 holiday parties (my family and Bariatric Institute's) and did not eat any of the sweets at my family's party. My mother was absolutely amazed to see me because while she knew about the surgery, she had not seen me since before it.  Also, she knew what a sweet eater I was and none of them bothered me, including my sister Alice's peanut butter cups which are better than Reese's!!!

My goal is to keep on going and getting this weight off.  I am already feeling better, have had calibration off my CPAP and can generally do a lot more. 

It has been a while.

I just weighed myself on my scale at home and after 2-1/2 months out, I am down to 338.5.  From 386 at surgery 48 pounds down and lost 20 prior to surgery, that is a total of 68 pounds.  I am past the point of 350 (where I would stick).  LA Weight Loss tried to tell me that 350 was my "happy weight" (ya right).

Wedding plans are still going and I am still trying to find a dress.  Keep you all posted.

It has been a while since I have blogged.

I went to see my surgeon, Dr. Chaing on 7/24 and lost a total of 35 pounds from June 18th (liquid diet first day) until then.  I have started exercising 2 days a week (I will get myself up to 3 or more) in the pool by walking in chest high water  The pool I go to have a current which makes things a bit more interesting.

Finding things I can eat is an interesting process.  I am on soft food now.  Some of the things I can eat are toast, egg salad, tuna salad pureed in my magic bullet, chicken (as long as it is very moist--it wasn't one night and I chucked it up), Healthy Choice soup (NOT PUREED!!!), mashed potatoes and vegies that are roasted.  I am sure with time there will be more.

Went back to work and life was a disaster.  My bosses' first meeting was to tell me how lousy my assistant did and made me transfer her out of my department.  I wasn't overly confident but hoped for the best and had to think of my health because what good would I be to anyone if I were not healthy. 

Well, that's all for now.  Nurses and nut appointment are 8/20 and 8/21. 

My daughter is leaving for Seattle today to see her fiance graduate with his Lieutenant's commission.  I wish I could go too but couldn't afford the trip and the surgery may make it uncomfortable.  I will see him when he gets back and before their wedding on January 3rd.

I will really miss her because she spent most of this week with me while I was recovering. She is really sweet and I am tearing up just thinking of it.  Mostly because when she gets back from there she is going to Camp Counselor week for Young Life and then to New Hampshire for wedding plans.  A little untraditional--they are getting married in his church and we are having 2 receptions--one for the East Coast and Canada and one for the Midwest.  She will then move to New Hampshire.  I will miss her terribly but it will give me an excuse to visit--

I am really glad I had this surgery.  I have done some more research on this site as well as the Bariatric Edge and it starts slow while your body adjusts and then the weight should move in the right direction.  I have not found a dress for the wedding yet but there should be less of me when I go look for one in October or November.  I looked at David's Bridal (where all the Bridesmaid and my daughter's dress came from) Plus size dresses and I didn't like any of them even if I was the right size for them.

I have been having trouble with my shakes on some days (gassy).  All of these things will pass

June 18th I went to see the nutritionist and I hit my highest weight of 407.  I was floored and started the liquid diet that very day.

June 26th

I went to see Dr. Chaing and weighed 367 (his scale I think was wrong).  I kept it up with the liquid diet and dealing with my water retention issues which the cardiologist said would resolve once the weight came off

July 9th

I went into Elmbrook Memorial at 5:15 a.m.  I got weighed and the scale read 382!!!  I followed the diet to the letter and could not have gained 15 pounds.  I knew I did lose weight during this time because I noticed pants that I was wore when I was thinner last year (1-1/2 years on LA Weight Loss and only 50 pounds--I got sick of throwing money out the window). 

Surgery took place at 8.  I did not get to my room until 3:30 because the surgery staff had to stabilize my breathing and had difficulty.  I said hello to my husband and daughter and told them to go home because it was a long day.  I then fell asleep until 9:30.

I sat in a chair for a while and could only swish and spit ice until I had my upper gi to check my pouch.

July 10th

FINALLY, at 10:30, they took me down for the upper gi.  The liquid was absolutely gross but the pouch was good and I could go on full liquid.  I didn't know that I could take an hour to eat a container of yogurt.  I just kep working on the protein shakes.

I walked a couple of times during the day (after pain meds and protein).

July 11th (early a.m.)

Complication--ran a fever of 102 at 2 a.m.  Dr. Chaing was out of town but Dr. Burhop (his partner) was on call and right on it.  Ordered blood tests and the nursing staff got the fever down.  However, I had to be off the liquids and go back to the swish and spit for another upper gi.  It was fine and I even got to see it.

Cathether had to go back in - bladder and kidneys weren't working right but my bowels sure were.  Another complication.

July 12th

Got the cathether out and was able to go on my own and go home!!!  I stopped at Pick n Save and picked up a few things I liked after my husband and daughter went shopping with a list the day before (SF popsicles, etc).

Week of July 14th

Have been recovering but have been sleeping a lot.  Was going to attempt to go back to work but as unappreciative as my boss has been (this has been a pain to her and I did not tell her what type of surgery I was having--too many judgments) and how lousy I have been feeling (gas, bowels, bladder), I just told her with my surgeon's office approval that I could not go back and they would not give me a fitness certificate for next Monday.  I won't probably be back until 7/28--oh well, I have to think of myself first.

I will post more.