tamas

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Well it has now been 2 months since my surgery I feel great have lost 55 lbs and would love to get back to work asap I am waiting to hear from the dr that my infecion is gone so I can get back.

I am so happy with the changes I see in my body but everything else that I live for seems to be spirling out of control! I contracted a MRSA infection in the hospital I feel fine but my work won't let me go back until I am cured.  It may take months for this to happen.  I usually work 2 jobs and right now I| can't do anything.  I really do not deal well with not working.  I feel very sad and upset seem to not be able to stop the tears GGGGrrrrrr.
Tami

Well it has been a little over 2 weeks since my surgery.  I feel great my advice to you all is get up and start walking as soon as you possibly can.  The night of my surgery I was up 3 times to walk.  I didn't experience the bloating that most gastric patients have.  I am truly happy that I went through this experience and very proud of myself.  My sister was with me for the surgery and came and picked me up and even helped me get to the airport and I feel we are closer because of this.

Well I have never done anything like this before but I am going to use this as a tool to get my uglies out !! So here I sit 9 days before my surgery worried and feeling very alone in this world.  I am about to start my new life in 9 days and I really hope that this is the change I need!!.  So lets start at the beginning I had a regular upbringing my parents were good  parents but I always did wonder if they really did love me because I always did really screw things up lots.  I was the 3rd of 4 kids and my little brother came along when I was 7.   I hit 15 and was raped by a boy in my class but kept it quiet as to not embarrass my parents further. When I got into my teen years I went a little wild and my dad seemed to hate me we went for a whole year with the rule in the house being that I was not allowed to speak to him.  So that was the beginning of my self respect spiraling out of control. I  went through years of chasing the wrong kind of guy to meet my ex-husband at 17.  This was when my weight started to be a problem. At 17 I was 140 lbs and healthy. I stayed for 10 years of beatings and being told daily that I was worthless and let me tell you that beats you down inside I have been gone for 4 years and his words ring in my head non-stop.  I did 2 years of counseling and nothing and no one seems to be able to stop it. The only gift my ex-husband ever gave me and the best gift are my beautiful children life would have no meaning without them. 

So as I have said before I am leaving in 7 days for Alberta I will be flying out alone and staying with my sister for 1 day then my surgery is scheduled for Jan 7th, 2010.  My sister will be with me for the day of surgery then she will head home and I will be alone until the day I can leave the hospital she will then take me to her house for a few days she has to be away for 2 of the days that I will be with her and I have to figure out a way to get to the plane alone she has to be at a hockey tournament with her son and my brother that lives close can't get time off work to help me. I am very frustrated and angry at my brother and sister for not feeling that I am important enough to miss work or a hockey tournament. So I will start this journey alone but will have so much support when I get home it just sucks to be alone for my time out there  but when this is all over I will prove you can do this alone!!!

That is all I have in me right now I have sat here for a long time crying my eyes out so please pray for me!!

T