Tammy0822

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Holy hell it happened... No not at goal... not even close... feels like that will NEVER happen lol but according to that damn tanita scale at the bariatric dr. office my body fat is with in the normal range... how in the hell did that happen??? My BMI is still saying I am fat... I am smaller but still not skinny buy any means lol but dammit I am trying.. I am a 10 petite on a good day sometimes I can push an 8 if they stretch... my collar bones push out. I do not feel sexy at all not sexed up like before.. I kinda miss that..  i'll update again soon

Boy oh boy where do I start? so much has happened since I took my fist steps into the WLS ring... that was 11/14/2002. I had decent success... weight came off fast went from 277 to 150 with in 14 months then I fucked it up with help from a malfunctioning pouch and an un suportive partner... i'll give you a hint the soon to be ex... took me years of yo yo dieting in between to get up enough balls to seek out another surgeon. I did... Dr. David Buchin.. I was shocked when he made me take classes so to speak in educating me in the weight loss process... you see I had already did this shit I knew what I was doing... WRONG!!! I did everything wrong... how else could I have regained to 240+ lbs...?? I learned about protein first... no drinking before or after meals 30 min rule.... exercise a must.. and what types of exercise... I also learned everyone is different and that is a great thing... My body type is a muscular type my BMI will always be higher so I on paper may appear overweight but in person I am smaller... I had my revision 3/30/11... was wheeled into surgery at a cool 220 lbs.... I was walking laps a few hours after surgery... this time I wasn't going to fuck anything up.... I swore to my kids... like an addict... I got this... the weight came off... slow at first...remember I am a revision... then I exercised... the weight stalled but I shrunk... holy crap I got tiny size 10 at 170 lbs.. to size 6 at 150 lbs ... who at 5ft nothing ... and 150 lbs is slender?? me that's who... by 1 year out I decided I need play time was fed up with the husband who thought I was no longer attractive because I was too skinny?? really?? saggy skin everywhere... no boobs... that's skinny? mind you I see FAT!!! I started to go out with the ladies from my support group ( wls) and we drank... quick drunk... men noticed me... when I was home I was super mom.... PTA president, running a 5k, working out, football practice, karate, school plays, cleaning, cooking, laundry... etc... yet been over a year since my husband even looked at me like I was a woman.. yet I am feeling more and more sexual... so I did what anyone who never had the "attention" before did... I started to go out... and I met someone... started sleeping on the couch still working out 6 days a week playing super mom... going out at night after kids are asleep... notice bad habits creeping up.... by 2012 April ... I met "R" I told my hubby I want out... he was like we are fine you gain weight back and you can come back t our bed... NOT happening... little did I know I was heading down that road.... In August I left everything I knew took my 3 kids moved out of my home of 15 years moved in with my parents.... got 2 jobs and now I am a single parent.... HOLY HELL.... now my cushy life of the gym 6 days a week.... no worries of cash all gone ... poof.... now I am back in my parents house.. can you say STRESS????????? now no restrictions on food... alcohol... no hiding... slowly my weight starts to creep back on... 5, 10, 20, 30.... before I realized it it ... I exchanged my size 6's for size 12's... then 14's... then 16's... then 18's.. then.. I opened my eyes saying WTF am I doing now it is 2014... march.. I work as a catering coordinator for Panera Bread... love my Job... so I am NOT giving it up... but I decided to give up the food.... I sneak and skulk on Dr B's FB private web page someone mentioned Insurenetrition... free protein shakes for post op patients... I said WTF lets try.... im still insured by ex... since divorce is taking forever..... HOLY crap DR. B wrote prescription... insurance approved it .. now I get 4 cases every 6 weeks free of charge. and so started my journey back again.... in May I got sick...figured I was sick since I ballooned back up to 225lbs.... turns out it was my Gallbladder.... Dr B took it out... crappy recovery... he since put me on Qysemia... and now I am presently at 165lbs.... my new goal is 131.... :)

It has been a while since I have updated/ posted.... I am 100% healed.. still following the no bread no alcohol no sugar rules I set for myself. I am a lil more than 20 lbs from my lowest... I can fit back in my 10's.. when I get into my 8's I'll be content. I work alot have no time to exercise...  being a single mommy leaves no time to myself .. damn responsibilities.. lol wouldn't have it any other way. well... be back again soon..

I decided to go back to work a week and a half early. I'm much better.  And honestly too poor to stay home longer. I need to get more active... looking at gyms.. when the hell did they get so damn expensive?  I go to Surgeon on tuesday for clearance... he mentioned starting me on Qysmia...  https://www.qsymia.com/home-c.aspx   a lil nervous but optimistic. Dr. B  thinks it will be a good option for me. I am not looking for another trip under the knife unless it is to remove all my layers of excess skin. i'll  update again after my apt with  Dr. B

Had surgery a week ago. Pain is just about gone... I am physically just about back to normal. Food is another issue.. my eating is weird. not hungry at all and when I do eat I can't eat as much. which is not at all a bad thing. I did find out what happens when I eat something on the oily side...  I get horrible cramps in the belly... and then  have the runs.. It could be a fluke... it could be  the food didn't agree with me. but I am taking it as a sign that it was the oil in the food... for now a week out of surgery i'll  deal.. I honestly do not oil in the diet... there are plenty enough natural fats in our foods and I can eat that.

 

I want to exercise but now Ihave to wait.. but I am walking. I did about 2 miles today. I wish Ihad more stamina..energy.. I will get there. 

Well I got thrown off track in qa HUGE way.. in the begining of last week day before memorial day I got sick.. had to leave work early... thought I had a respitory inf... orsinus... runnung a fever has horrific back pain. I took off Monday hit walk in cinic.. they gave me antibiotics. steroids and claratin d. I went home medicated... slept.. felt better on Wed...a little pain in belly back better... went back to work Thursday still not 100% but ok... friday.. same  friday night had horrible back pain in my shoulder blades.. went to bed like that woke up worse... can we see how this is going??? Went to work anyways lasted 3.5 hours went home made the boyfriend take me to er... and as they say the rest is history... they admitted me ... sat am.. had surgery monday afternoon.. Dr. B did the honors... I feel better as in no back pain but now I feel like I just had RNY all over again cant pass gas cant poop... lol 

I'm still moving forward... Dr B said my pouch looks good... taking things uber slow.

I could use a billion cliches... but the truth is I fucked up and finding my way back is so damn hard.. this time I am a single mom of 3 teenagers... I work fulll time I dont have the luxury of gym 6 days a week and walking for hours a day afterwords... I cant have that personal trainer 4x a week... I finally took the steps to get back control of my food... and lets not forget to cut my weight.. to be honest as selfish as this sounds I HATE that my daughters are wearing all my clothes i can't fit into anymore. I miss my 10's my 8's and my very few 6's.... im not looking to become a damn supermodel but I want to LOVE my body again... I miss my energy and I hate this self pity party... 

So what have I done to  change my food? I am using the app SparkPeople. I track everything....  I am drinking 3 Preimere Protein Shakes a day... eating a P3 turkey/cheese/almonds pack...  trying to eat a pre packages atkins meal.. ( no carbs ) I eat i greek yogurt daily... trying 150 + protein daily.... drinking water I cant seem to give up my hot tea yet...

and I am WALKING.... trying 5 miles daily a little over 10000 steps daily.. I am trying

Im here I am back on track. Started with walking, shakes 3x a day. no breads... no whites... no chips.. no more crap.

Where oh where do I begin... Last April I met a man who wasn't my husband.. ( obviously) ..I fell in love with him.. I know if my marriage of 17+ years was a good solid strong one I would never have been looking elsewhere... now what does this confession have to do with WLS... well to put it simply... EVERYTHING! ... I have been sooo bad.. not following wls basics... my eating is so out of control, I have gained 44 lbs GASP,,, yes I know not  the end of the world but I am  now in a position where my clothes don't fit I feel disgusting... I  just started Nutrisystem because I have NO control. Since I left the husband moved myself and my 3 children out of my house and moved in with my parents in August I am so dis organized... my routine is shot to hell... I work 2 jobs,, one in a Dunkin Donuts.. can u say poison for a post op wls patient... and a food store... I recently joined Retro Fitness but I have NO damn time to go.. I need support... I need help and to be honest too damn mortified to see my surgeon...  so I am saying HELP

 

 
So as you all can see I am still here and I am still breathing... so many changes.. I finally told the hubby I want a divorce..  yea, I found out some relationships arent as strong as I thought..I moved my 3 kids and myself to mom & dads... a rude awaking for me,,, I also took a part time job..  started anti depressants.. finally can go a few days with out crying...
weight wise i gained 15 lbs not happy but I am a work in progress... I am confident I will get there...