5/4/2003-
Well, it's almost been 3 months and I am down 67 pounds. Yeah!!!! Who knew????? I find that lately I have been craving carbs. I like popcorn a lot. I also like sugar free cookies. I feel guilty while eating them though. I am in counseling and am working on these issues. I'm praying that I can get rid of this need to eat when I know that I'm not hungry. This was the main reason why I didn't want to do the surgery 4 years ago, because I figured that even if my outside changed the inside would still be there to sabotage everything. This definitely isn't easy as pie (no pun intended) My hair has been falling out pretty heavily lately. I'm sort of starting to freak out about it. I don't want to have bald spots, but what's done is done. I know that it will eventually get better. I better step up the protein to two drinks a day. I thought I was doing ok with protein but handfuls of hair do not lie. I'm still glad I did this no matter what. I just quit my job at the credit union (THANK GOD)!!! I start my new job on Tuesday and hopefully things will start fresh. My boss was giving me so much shit about everything that it got really old. He actually said to me that he had done some "reading up on the surgery" and had "spoken with others that have had it". He said that he found that if I was doing the right things and eating the right things, I shouldn't be having any nauseousness or problems. Can you believe this asshole. I couldn't. It almost felt discriminatory. Anyway, I don't have to be there anymore. I feel blessed that I was able to get that job and it provided me with the surgery. Oh, that's another thing, my old boss basically said that I should be thanking him because it's due to him I was able to get the surgery, since he hired me and has put up with all the stuff leading up to it. WHATEVER. Well, that's it for now. I guess I better go say my prayers that all my hair doesn't fall out at one time eh???? My Moms b-day is tomorrow and I get to spend the day with her. Thanks Mom for all you give and all you do. I love you.