Terrence_CA

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It's hard to believe that 11 months ago I was 513 pounds! I can do so much now that I couldn't do in years. Last week I went on vacation in San Diego. I was able to ride on a waverunner. I remember the last time  went a few years ago, I was too big to get on one and had to watch family and friends ride it. Talk about depressing! Another cool thing, is I am now able to fit on rides again! I was able to take my 1.5 year niece on some rides. At first I was scared, I thought I would be too big, but I fit!!!!!! 11 months ago, I wouldn't have even fit through the turn styles to get on the ride let alone have the bar go down. I can do things without getting short of breath. I remember being short of breath just laying down or getting up. Now I have to do heavy cardio to even break a sweat. I have gone from a size 5X/6X shirt to a 2X shirt. Pants have gon from a 68 to a 48. It is so surreal to me. I still see myself as that same 500 pound giant I once was even though so many changes have taken place. I still have quite a ways to go. My doc said I should weigh around 250. I think I should weigh less than that. I'll keep my goal at 250 and see how I feel and adjust my goal from there. My biggest challenge is getting past this fricken stall I have been in for 4 damn weeks! I have been in between 320 and 324, and I am sick of it! I'm working my ass off, I'm eating healthy, what the hell!!!! I hear peple say to get rid of the carbs, but I like my fruit! I eat whole grain breads, no white stuff, so the carbs I eat are pretty healthy. I still can't eat much though, so it's not like I get a huge amount of carbs in my diet. I think I get in more protein than I do carbs.

Well, I'm 6 days out from surgery. I am not craving foods as bad as I was. However, now I am feeling sick to my stomach a lot. Even though I am on my full liquid diet, I barely eat anything. I tried drinking a protein drink, but it made me very sick. I was sick all day long. I ordered some liquid protein concentrate, so hopefully that will go down much easier. My Doc prescribed me pepcid pills that I have to crush and mix with stuff, but they are so bitter, I just can't do it! I still have my regrets about the surgery, just because I don't like how I am feeling. I'm sure once I start feeling better and losing weight, my attitude will change.

Ok, I am almost three days out from surgery, and this liquid diet is kicking my ass! From questions I asked people and research I did, I thought we weren't supposed to feel hungry after surgery. YEAH RIGHT! I guess maybe it's not hunger, but more so like cravings. They are through the roof! I'm getting used to my little pouch. Alot of the painful gas has gone away except for when I get gas in my little pouch and have to try and burp it out. That kind of hurts. Yesterday evening I was super tired and could barely keep my eyes open. I am startng to drink some diluted apple juice which is on my approved liquids list. I think it may be rasing my blood sugar and making me feel a little better, and I'm not craving as much. The first couple of days I was wondering why the hell I did this. Why couldn't I have just dieted and left my stomach whole? I'll never be able to enjoy food again, which to me equates to enjoying life. So, now I just gotta suck it up and start finding non-food related things. I haven't taken any pictures yet, but I will try and get some taken before I start losing weight.