thundercat
MY STORY IS A COMMON ONE BUT DIFFERENT IN MANY WAYS. I HAVE BEEN A BIG GIRL SINCE I WAS 11 OR 12. ALL MY LIFE I HAVE HEARD THAT I HAVE SUCH A PRETTY FACE...AD I WOULD THINK...WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF ME? THE GOOD THING IS THAT I HAD A GREAT MOTHER WHO CONFIRMED TO ME EVERY DAY THAT I WAS JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. SHE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I COULD COMPETE WITH THE SIZE 4, 5 AND ZERO'S. AND I DID! I WAS ALWAYS THE BIGGER ONE OF ALL MY FRIENDS AND ALTHOUGH I FELT AWKWARD, THEY NEVER MADE ME FEEL AWKWARD. I DEVELOPED A FIERCE MOUTH AND WHEN SOMEONE SAW FIT TO TALK ABOUT MY WEIGHT, I WOULD HIT THEM BACK WITH SO MANY INSULTS THAT THEY WOULD RARELY STEP TO ME AGAIN. MY MOTHER ENROLLED ME IN MODELING SCHOOL, ETIQUETTE SCHOOL AND MAKEUP CLASSES ...WHICH ALL GAVE ME AN EDGE OVER THE OTHER GIRLS. SHE ALWAYS MADE SURE I WAS SECURE IN MY SELF. AND I WAS. THE ONLY THING THAT BOTHERED ME WAS THAT I WAS ABLE TO SHOP IN ONLY THREE STORES : LAN BRYANT, AVENUE AND ASHLEY STEWART. I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO SHOP EVERYWHERE. WHEN I WENT TO THE DOCTOR THEY WOULD TELL ME I NEEDED TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT THAT I WAS A PERFECTLY HEALTHY GIRL, JUST A BIG ONE. MY FIRST TWO ATTEMPTS TO HAVE THE SURGERY FAILED BECAUSE I HAD NO AILMENTS THAT WOULD QUALIFY ME . THE THING IS, I'M NOT A BIG GIRL WHO HATES HERSELF. I LOVE ME. I LIKE GETTING DRESSED AND I LIKE WHAT I SEE IN THE MIRROR...I JUST WISHED I WAS SMALLER. BUT I DIDN'T REALLY THINK I HAD A PROBLEM....UNTIL I SAW A ANOTHER DOCTOR WHO SAW FIT TO TELL ME THAT I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN AT MY SIZE. THIS BROKE MY HEART BECAUSE ALTHOUGH I DID NOT KNOW IF I WANTED TO HAVE CHILDREN...I CERTAINLY DID NOT WANT THE OPTION TAKEN FROM ME. ALSO, MY LEGS AND ANKLES BEGAN TO SWELL ALL THE TIME, THIS CONCERNED ME AS WELL. ALL OF THIS RELATED TO THE FAT I CARRIED AROUND. THE LAST STRAW WAS MY MOTHER DEVELOPING CANCER. I KNEW I HAD TO DO SOMETHING OR ELSE I WAS GOING TO END UP ALONE, SAD AND POSSIBLY SICK AS ALL OUT DOORS. SO HERE I AM, THREE WEEKS AFTER WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY TRYING TO ADJUST TO A NEW LIFESTYLE .
