tlc1831

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Okay.  I have been such a slacker with this weight loss journey its pathetic.  I lost a total of 85 lbs as of a year ago and have slowly over the last year gained back 20 lbs.  I am dissapointed in myself that I have not been able to takle this battle even with surgery. I am constantly asking myself why.  Why cannot I do this?  I have watched several people around me that had the surgery after me lose a tremendous amount of weight and I am so proud of them.  However their success only measures my failure.  So I will continue to strive to concur this problem.  As of today i am back.  I have not had the support previously so I am asking all friends and family for their support and help.  My current goal is just get back to where I was at my lowest after surger however this is not my ultimate goal just one that I feel I can obtain.  Baby Steps I guess. 256 and a long way to go. 

1 day before the start of a new life. WOW! A do over.  
I am a little nervous.  It helps me to read all the great stories on OH.  I have a lot of supportive friends out there that are truly in my corner.  Some may not understand why I am taking such drastic measures but they still support me anyway.  Thanks to all the people that have posted well wishes on my OH page.  They mean alot to me. 

I cannot believe that its only 3 days to go to the other side.  The loser side of life.  I am only a very little bit nervous about the surgery itself.  It is after surgery that I worry about.  Can I eat a small amt., will I be able to stay away from the bad stufff, will I lose weight to make all of this worth it or am I going to fail at this also.  I hate being so negative but that is what is going through my head right now.  Hopefully all of these feelings are normal.  I have been on a liquid diet since last Saturday.  I have doing pretty well (a little slips here and there) I have lost 10 lbs and the doctor told me that I can go off of the LD on sunday for my last meal (LOL).  YUM!!!

Well its two weeks until surgery.  I have all of these emotions going through my mind.  Excited, Happy, Nervous, Anxious.  I am so nervous not about the surgery but about after the surgery.  I don't want to fail at this weight loss again.  I want to lose this weight for good.  I just have to keep positive and keep saying to myself that this is it.  I just have to keep picturing myself 6 months from now.  Feeling better and looking great. 

I finally got a surgery date!!   After all of the other medical list of stuff I had to do to get to this point its finally here.  My surgery is scheduled for 5/29/07.  I have tons of emotions right now.  I feel excited, anxious and scarred but I know it will all be worth it in the long run.  I still have a pulmonary specialist to see and a blood workup just before surgery but so far so good.