tnrm03
Well let me start by saying that it has been a long road to get to where I am now, and it will be an even longer road to get where I need to be.
I remember being thin as a very young child, but that didn't last long. At first I noticed that I was just a little heavier than some of the other kids in my class. It wasn't long before I was one of the heaviest in my class, and at times I was the heaviest. At first the other kids didn't say much at least not to my face, but in the years to come I had to learn to be tough. I learned very quick to be funny and always have something very funny to say back. If they are to busy laughing with you they won't be able to laugh at you.
As I got older my weight started looking a little different. Instead of looking like a chunky kid I started looking like a thick Young woman. Now this would be cool if I wasn't only in the 6Th grade. At this time guys in my grade weren't into thick girls, but I started getting a lot of attention from older guys.
I was so use to being the fat ugly duckling that I chose to except most of the attention that I was getting, and even went out of my way to seek out the attention at times. I told myself and others that I didn't have a low self esteem. Now that I am older I realize just how bad it really was. I did not know how to recognize my behaviors.
I was a very good student and always made good grades, loved school, and even tutored for years. Once the attention started coming from guys closer to my age, I decided that the feelings that I felt from that was much more important, and I slowly started messing up in school. Along the way I picked up a pound or two here and there, and let me tell you it can sneak up on you.
When I got into 9Th grade I met my husband. We were both kids from dysfunctional homes and we very quickly began to lean on each other for everything. At this time I would say that I weighed around 170 at 15. We dated for 7 months when I found out that I was 4 months pregnant. At this point I weighed about 180. I lost some weight at first in my pregnancy and then at about 5 1/2 months I started putting on the weight. I didn't understand we were kids with no cars and we walked everywhere, but the weight just kept coming on.
On November 16, 1994 (one week before our 1 year anniversary) I gave birth to our son. At this point I weighed 260. I had gained over 80 pounds from my initial weight loss earlier in my pregnancy. So there I was a 16 year old mom weighing 260 pounds. I was so embarrassed by my body. I started wearing baggy clothes, elastic waist pants instead of jeans, and big men's shirts when I could get my hands on them.
I was able to maintain my weight between 240 and 260 for many years. I was very active with my family. I loved doing things with my son. I was team mom on my his baseball team, swimming, camping, walking, bowling, and anything else we could think to do out doors. Because I stayed so active the weight only bothered me at times. And my husband is a wonderful man who loved me at any weight and who has never made me feel uncomfortable in front of him.
When my son was in fourth grade I started having some health problems. At first I was tired all the time. Then my periods were all messed up. Then one day I started menstruating and never stopped. I was always tired and became anemic. I went to couple of Doctors, but no one ever figured out my problem.
I would have such heavy flow that every time I would leave the house I would have an accident. It was so embarrassing. So I stayed home all the time. I became less active each month. It got so bad that I would go to WalMart to shop and I would get heart palpitations, break out into a cold sweat, and would feel like I was going to pass out. I started having problems concentrating, would shake, and was so tired. At this point I weighed 337.
I couldn't take it anymore so I went to a new Dr, who said I had severe anemia and put me on a lot of iron. He also sent me to a Gynecologist who decided to do a biopsy, even though she said I was really young. At this point I had been menstruating everyday for four years.
On December 23, 2008 (at age 30), I was diagnosed with stage 2-3 Endometrial Uterine Cancer. On January 9, 2009 I had a radical hysterectomy with removal of lymph nodes and some tissue. Because it had done some spreading the Doctor decided that I needed to do 6 weeks of daily radiation.
I was so scared that it would get me down and make me even less active and cause me to gain more weight and make it hard for me to get around. So I decided to start walking on my second day of radiation. My BEST FRIEND decided to walk with me because it is easier to do with support. So we walked 1 mile everyday at the park, in the rain or shine. As we walked I started noticing my body changing some. At this point it started being about more than not letting the radiation get me down. We wanted to lose weight too. My friend is also overweight.
My friend lost 75 pounds and I lost down to 289. We couldn't believe how well we had done and we were so excited. At some point we started letting other things stop us from walking here and there. Then it got to where it was hard to get a walk in. We haven't been walking in a few months now and I am back up to 309. :(
My friend now has Medicare and is getting her gastric bypass surgery in a few weeks. I am so happy for her and will be supporting her through her journey. I am so excited for her and can't wait for her to get her life back!
Gastric Bypass is also something that I am interested in doing, but I do not have the insurance or the money to pursue it at this time.
At this point I am going to try to get myself back on track and start walking again, so that I can continue this long journey of weight loss. I am hoping to, some how, be able to afford to have the gastric bypass surgery sometime next year. Until then the battle continues!
