trouble5
1-3-07 - After an 8 month insurance battle I finally got approval for a panni removal and hernia repair. I had a full tt with hernia repair on 12-28-06 with Dr. Morehouse. Still recouperating, but doing okay. All I can say is to NEVER take an insurance denial as the last word - fight, fight, FIGHT!
4/24/06- Yikes...has it really been over a year since I've been here? I'm sorry. Before I had surgery I remember everyone wondering what happened to post ops - they all seemed to disappear after a year or so. Well, I now understand that question. I'm just busy living my life. Just to recap I am 3 and half years out from an open RNY and I feel good. I have never had any serious issues or complications. My life is completely different than it was prior to surgery and I wouldn't change a thing! My weight is holding steady around 185-188. The biggest news for me is that I think I am now ready to move forward with plastics. I've had a consultation with general surgeon (Dr. Demerest) and he says I'm an ideal candidate and he wants to move forward quickly (like within a couple of weeks) So allegedly the paperwork has been submitted so we'll see...I have a few questions about it...panni removal vs. TT, etc. I did not ask the right questions when I was there so now I'm trying to play catchup. Anyway, I don't have time right now, but I will come back in the next day or two with more. :)
10/28/04 - Two years ago today....it seems like a lifetime ago...... Hi. I'm so sorry it has been so long. I don't even know where to begin. I'm weighing in at a cool 187. That means I've lost 148lbs. I've slacked off on my trips to the gym, but I'm so active with my family (hiking, walking, biking, swimming, bowling, etc.) - it is great! At risk of people throwing things at me, I have to say that I really don't have any battles or issues with food. I have ok days and I have good days, but I truly don't have to battle the demon within like I did before surgery. I can't really explain it, I certainly don't understand it, and I've tried to stop analyzing it - I'm just enjoying it. My story is pretty much like everyone else - the more protein I eat, the quicker I lose. Otherwise I'm at a steady pace of losing a pound a month. In a perfect world I would love to be at least 20 lbs lighter, but right now I am having too much fun living my life to worry about those 20lbs. If I lose them great, if I never do - well, that's okay too. For me, the greatest thing about my life is that it DOES NOT INVOLVE STRESS ABOUT MY WEIGHT IN ANY FORM!!!! Yes, I make sure to get in plenty of water and I do take all the needed supplements (calcium, b-12, multi, iron). I will get more serious at the gym soon - not because I'm on some crazed weight loss mission, but just because I know it's healthy.
I wish you all peace and love, most importantly from yourself. God bless.
10/14/03 - Wow I love the gym....I'm now at 202, which means I've lost 133lbs. I'm so close to 199 I can taste it!! I can't even image having my weight start with a 1. Yee-haw
9/30/03 - I'm now 11 months out from sugery and down 126 lbs. I just got labs drawn again and it seems I am low on iron. They're doing some more tests to try and get a better grasp of what's going on there. I'm a little worried because my b-12, although still in the normal range, has dropped from 798 to 343. Yikes...yes, I will be getting serious about supplementing iron and b-12! Otherwise, I've started a really serious workout routine at the gym. I'm already up to 45 mins on the treadmill and it feels great. I never, ever thought I'd be one of those people who looks forward to exercising, but I do. I'm really anxious to tone up my flabby legs!
6/19/03 - How times flies....Well, I'm about 8 months out and down 114 and am starting to fit into 16's!!! I haven't worn a 16 since high school. Un-freakin-believable!!! My labs all came back good - my protein was even up a little! How do I feel...in a word - "normal". Weight has really stopped being the focus of my life. Even better, this surgery has also stopped being the focus of my life. Most of the time I don't even think about it. Life is good with one less thing to worry about.
3/17/03 - Happy St. Patty's Day! I'm doing great! I can't believe I'm 4 1/2 months post-op already. I've lost about 82 lbs and feel pretty good. I feel really good overall, but I have noticed some fatigue coming back. I go this afternoon to my pcp and will get labs drawn. I'm probably just low on b-12 or iron.
I recently upped my protein shakes to 3 a day and it seemed to really help jump start my weight loss and break a plateau. I get so busy that sometimes I forget to get the 3 shakes a day in, but I'm working on it! I also found the greatest protein drink. I bought Amino Infusion 5000 raspberry flavor from Vitalady. I put 6 tablespoons in a glass of crystal light pink lemonade with lots of ice. It's really, really good and it's an easy way to get in another 30 g of protein.
It's now rare that I get the stuck feeling in my chest, although many times I just can't eat any meat. I keep trying though.
I have gone from a size 28/30 to an 18!! Holy cow...I still can't believe that. 18 lbs and counting until I hit the century mark....it just doesn't seem real....
2/04/03 - Wow...can't believe it has been this long since I've updated. At my 6 week checkup I found out I was down 35 lbs. Not too bad. I'm now just past the 3 month mark and down around 60lbs. I still don't trust my scale, but I don't see Dr. Fry again for another 3 weeks. I am so happy to be 60 lbs down, but at times I feel like it should be more or I should be doing better. Very strange. The weirdest part of this surgery for me has been the head trip.
When I had surgery I was popping out of 28 pants and 30 tops. I am now wearing 22/24 tops and bottoms and they are actually getting to big! I still can't believe that! My bmi started out at 49.3 and it is now 39.2. Dang...amazing. Physically I feel really good and "normal". Would I have this surgery again?
IN A HEARTBEAT!!!!
12/9/02 - Well, what can I say.... Amazingly I'm at a loss for what to say here now. Strange. Anyway, today is 6 weeks for me and things are certainly getting easier with each passing day. A friend in my support group told me that the first month just sucks. At first I thought she was exagerating, but now I think she's right. I'm glad I had the surgery, but I'm glad as each passing week makes it more and more a thing of the past. I don't know how much weight I've lost. My scale at home is totally wacked out so I haven't weighed at all. Tomorrow is my doctor appointment so I'll share the good/bad news then.
11/15/02 - Well, I made it. It was worse than I expected. Let me just say that the first week completely and totally sucked! I spent 4 nights and 5 days in the hospital. After about 7 days I turned a corner and the second week was all about improving every day. Okay, I weighed in at 335 at the hospital, left at 333, and at 8 days postop I was 323. That was the hardest darn 12 pounds I have ever lost. But I'll take it, and god willing that is just the beginning.
10/27/02 - Hi. Excuse me just a second..... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Whew, I feel better now. HOLY COW..MY SURGERY IS TOMORROW!!!!!! I'm doing pretty good all in all. Not freaking out too bad. Just anxious and excited!! I can't wait!!!
Thank you to everyone who has posted their thoughts and prayers on my surgery page. It's amazing how just two little sentences can make me feel so loved!
10/26/02 - Two days away? No way! I feel like I'm dreaming. I just keep thinking that it can't be this real. The hospital called yesterday and told me to report at 10:30 am on Monday. Geez, how much more do I need before I believe it's finally happening?
10/19/02 - Still no big problems with nerves and here I am just over a week away! I am getting REALLY excited though!! I was so touched this week at my support group meeting. The support and love I received was so amazing. It's really comforting to know that so many wonderful people are in my corner cheering for me.
10/12/02 - I completed my final pre-op stuff yesterday, and was given a complete and total green light. YIKES! WOW! AMAZING! So far so good for me, at least to this point. I'm not nervous, just EXCITED and anxious!!!!! I feel like a little kid on Christmas eve. Remember that feeling? God willing, two weeks and two days and it's my turn.
Cute story - I ended up having to take both kids (5&2) with me for my pre-op meeting with the anesthesiologist. When my husband got home that night Matthew told him that we had seen a doctor about "Mommy's fat." I laughed and explained that it was actually just a doctor that was going to fix mommy's tummy. (I have no desire to have him tell all his kindergarten class, all the neighbors, all family members, people he sees at the grocery store, and anyone else he knows, that I had surgery to fix my fat.) Later he went to my mom's house and said, "we went to my mom's doctor who is going to fix her tummy. But he's not going to fix her fat, no, just her tummy. That's it." LOL...out of the mouth of babes! Slowly but surely I think he's teaching me that there's no need to be so embarrassed about this surgery. I'm a slow learner, but I'm starting to come around. (smile)
9/28/02 - Wow...did September blow by fast or what?? August seemed to last forever but September is already gone. Amazing. One month from today, God willing, I will begin my physical transformation.
9/22/02 - Good morning everyone. I don't mean to ruin such a pretty morning with venting..but wow..I just have to get this off my chest. Let me start by saying that I have a beautiful 5-year-old little boy. He is cute, smart, sweet and funny - the apple of his mother's eye. He is also at the age where he is learning about the differences in things. It was about a year ago when he recognized that I am fat. I will never forget the day when he told me so. It was so innocent and matter of fact. Coming from a 4-year-old there is no hatred or disgust, just a matter-of-fact attitude. I knew the comment was innocent, but it had me in tears anyway. I told my husband about it and he was going to "take care of it." God bless him for trying, but his solution was to tell Matthew that "fat" was a bad word that he should never say again. LOL...Okay...time for mom to step back from her hurt and deal with it. In the past year we've spent a great deal of time talking about the differences in people in all areas, and how being different isn't bad, how they can be just as smart, as good a friend, etc., etc....
Afterwards I gave myself huge credit for being a great mom who handled a delicate situation with care and concern and was raising a sensitive little boy...blah, blah, blah.
Yesterday we were running some errands and I looked over because I could feel Matthew looking at me. He was staring at my stomach. "Mom, do you have a baby in your tummy?" I told him I didn't and also added that not everyone who has a big tummy has a baby in it. He just kept staring at my stomach. I actually had to tell him to stop looking at me. The look on his face...it was a combination of confusion and unhappiness. I don't know how to explain it, but it's as if he is truly searching for an answer to my big tummy. Good lord, I know he is only 5, and his questions are so innocent. I mean, I know how to deal with nasty comments from rude people. But I feel so inadequate to deal with his questions. I found myself on the verge of tears and I FELT like yelling...I'm sorry you have such a fat mom but you do!! But of course, I didn't.
I don't really have a point to all of this, except that I'd be happy to hear how others have dealt with this sort of thing. I remember one time reading a post on here by someone who had to deal with a young child making a weight-related comment to her at a doctor's office. She said something like, "now I know what kind of stuff that kid must hear at home." I'm sure all situations are different, but I just want to say that a comment from a young child doesn't necessarily mean they have rude parents.
9/8/02 - Wow...I've recently had several people contact me and ask various questions or comment on my profile. I know this is a public profile but for some reason I didn't really expect anyone else to read it so I'm surprised to be contacted by so many. And no, I certainly don't mind anyone writing to me. I'm more than happy to share my experiences and I'm willing to tell all I know.
I had to laugh though. Someone in my support group commented on how shocked they were at my "outspoken negativity" regarding my husband. The person who said it wasn't being mean, but was just curious. I've also commented about him here so I thought I would explain.
I don't have a very stable relationship with my husband. I have NEVER had a very stable relationship with him. I'm certainly not an innocent bystander, but he has some very real problems - (explosive anger disorder resulting in domestic violence for one). Blaming him for my weight problems would be neither fair nor accurate, but the stress in my life, in large part due to him, has certainly been a factor. I spent 8 years covering for him. I hid his bad behavior and actions from others, and I defended (made excuses) for him to *myself* and to others. I have so much hurt and stress and bad feelings buried under mounds of fat... Well, you get the idea. But now, for literally the first time, I'm doing something that is all about me. In the process of me getting a grip on some of my emotions surrounding surgery, I have discovered just how much my marriage impacts me.
As the buried anger starts to come to the surface I can sometimes say or write things that might seem bitchy or out-of-place. Personally I think it's just a natural process I'm going through, and I certainly think getting it out is better than just letting it sit and fester. And yes, I know all about the divorce statistics following wls. I'm okay with that. The way I see it, becoming physically healthy is just part of it.
9/1/02 - It's September...why does that excite me? Maybe it's just that Sept. is much closer to Oct. than Aug. I don't know, it seems so silly. October 28 is still two months away. LOL...I can't spend the next two months with my stomach doing flip-flops! I'm probably going to be a wreck by the time Oct. 1 gets here. (smile)
8/13/02 - I'm APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG! Now I'm getting a little excited. It's weird, because part of me still thinks something is going to happen to delay my surgery. Getting a date really didn't do much for me, but now, with insurance approval as well, geez....could this really be happening??
8/10/02 - I HAVE A DATE!!!!! Wow...it just does not seem real to me at all! October 28, 2002! Almost three months away, but it is a real date and it's all mine. No trick-or-treating for me this year, but I'm not complaining.
In all fairness to Dr. Fry, I must say that he was much friendlier and seemed well rested this time. I only saw him for 2 minutes....just long enough for him to go over the consent form with me. I had to laugh, the form actually says there is no guarantee that the surgery will produce desired results! Ha! Can you imagine? "Yes doctor, it has been 90 days since my surgery and I'm just not happy with your work. I think I'm going to give my weightloss business to Jenny Craig so I would like my money back please."
I certainly am happy that I have a date, but for some reason I"m not as excited as I thought I would be. Maybe I'm in shock, or denial, I'm not sure. I'm happy that I have a date to plan around, but overall I don't feel too much of anything. I'm not very worried, I'm not very scared or nervous. I am a little bit anxious, but not nearly like I thought I would. I guess I feel very matter-of-fact about the whole thing. It's going to happen and I'm ready for it. Period. Of course by next week I could be a complete mess. LOL. Time will tell.
So...after I was done will Dr. Fry, Neets sent me over to register with the day surgery department. That's where you take care of final blood work etc. Because my surgery is still so far away they just had me fill out some paperwork and told me to come back about 2 weeks prior to surgery.
I have one "trauma" I have to get off my chest..... My dear mother took the day off work to watch the kiddos while I went to the appointment. So, when I got home she was the first to know about my date. The first words out of her mouth?? "Do you need me to take that day off of work? Or maybe the whole week? Or maybe I'll be more help to you the second week?? You let me know what you need and I'll take it off." Pretty dang cool, huh? Thank god for such a supportive and wonderful mom.
Now for my husband.... when I got home I called him. He was busy so it was a short conversation. Once he got home he wanted to discuss it more. He's scheduled to take a week of vacation in mid-September and he was hoping I could schedule my surgery that week. I explained to him that I had no choice in the matter, and I was just happy that I got to have it before the end of the year. He got that pained, constipated look on his face. (I freakin HATE that look). Against my better judgement I asked him what was wrong.
"Well,(whiney, nasaly voice) I just don't know how I'm going to ask for the time off. I'm worried about it and am afraid I'm going to be given a hassel."
My response?
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Good god. Let me just say, he works for a MAJOR international corportation with excellent benefits, is in good standing and has been there for about 2 years. I had already told him I get him a letter if he needed it, blah, blah, blah. Basically he had NO reason to think they would give him a hard time at all, and YES I am married to one of the most selfish men in America. When I was pregnant with our first child, he was working out of town, about 3 hours away. I was hospitialized with high blood pressure and guess who I never saw? I know I have a lot of deep seated hurt about that, and this just made me relive some of that pain. Oh well. Did I say thank god for my mother? I told him that not only did I not NEED him at the hospital this time, but that I didn't WANT him there. He got really p/o and informed me that I was being ridiculous. Well, thank goddness he set me straight.
**Amazingly, when he spoke with his boss the next day, his vacation was moved - absolutely no problem. Can you say selfish, self-centered jacka$$??
7/6/02 - One more hurdle done and over with! Made it through my sleep study on the 3rd - piece of cake. I have to tell you, all of the people I dealt with at the UNM Sleep Center are wonderful! They were all so nice and friendly - it really made things easier. Marie was the sleep technician that watched over me as I slept that night. She was so cool. Even with everyone being so nice, let me just say - THANK GOD THAT'S OVER!!!!
I found it kind of challenging to answer the questionaire about my sleep habits - do you wake up during the night? - do you feel tired during the day? - if you laid down would you fall asleep? ...uh...yes, yes and yes, but hold on just a second... I also have a 2-year-old, a 5-year-old, a 31-going-on-16-year-old, a dog, a cat, and a fairly stressful 40-hour-a-week job!! And if you don't think each and every one of those haven't kept me awake at some point then you're nuts!!
So...as far as I know there is no stopping me now! According to Marie I didn't have any apnea episodes - from what I'm told, that won't make any difference to my isurance. All they require is a BMI over 40. Next stop will be another visit to Dr. Fry on Aug. 6. I've got my fingers crossed that I can get a date then!
5/24/02 - Being persistant pays off!!!!! It was on the 7th when I found out that I would need a sleep study. On the 8th I was on the phone with two different centers trying to set up an appointment. Both took my info and said they would get back to me. After calling back 3 times, today my nagging has finally paid off!!! I was getting so discouraged thinking maybe this surgery wasn't meant for me. I was really mad when I called this morning, but apparently I pleaded my case well, without sounding bitchy, because the woman scheduled me for not only the orientation, but for the sleep study as well!!! Apparently you have to go for a 3 hour intro where they explain the process and decide which type of study you need. Normally you go for the orientation and then schedule a day for your study. God bless the woman at the center because she's allowing me to go for the orientation on the morning of July 3, and then come back that night for a study. Seems like such a small thing, just getting scheduled for a study, but I feel like I've won the lottery. So far in my journey it seems like the small things can be VERY disheartening and tough to deal with.
5/12/02 - Okay, guess I've delayed updating my profile long enough! Let's see...since I got my referal from my pcp, I had my chest xray, ekg, lab work and sleep evaluation taken care of. I had absolutely no symptoms of sleep apnea so the pulmonologist told me he couldn't stop me from surgery. He was a peach of a guy, really. (SARCASM ALERT) This skinny little man may be a fantastic lung doc, but he is clueless about obesity. He actually asked me if I ever tried "slapping my hand." Very anti-surgery, but I countered him on every point and until he realized I was no dummy. He ended up telling me that there was nothing he could do to stop me, but he hoped I got counseling. Beware - if anyone has to see Dr. Miller (he's in Dr. Seligman's office) be prepared to defend yourself!!
Anyway, I made it through that and saw Dr. Fry on 5/7. Apparently it was the worst possible day for my visit. Dr. Fry had been out of town and the office was more backed up than usual. I had heard such wonderful things about Dr. Fry - maybe I was expecting too much. I got to see him for about 10 minutes. He was frank and direct, gave me the nutshell summary of the surgery and drew me a picture. He then gave me a 2 minute once over (heart/lungs/looked at my stomach) and ran through about a dozen health questions. Then he told me I would need a sleep study - despite it not being medically necessary, he was going to require it of all patients. I was a little bummed because the sleep centers here are backed up to July and August already! I mentioned it to him and he said he had been assured by the UNM sleep center that they could get all his patients in within two to three weeks. Okay, fine. I go out to schedule my next appointment with Neets and she tells me that no way will I be seen in two to three weeks, it will be July or Aug. (sigh...)
I tenatively have an appointment with Dr. Fry on Aug. 6th. That date will only work if I've been able to get through the sleep study by then. If I'm able to get the sleep study taken care of, then I will hopefully be having surgery about 2 months after that which puts it in October. (another sigh....)
Overall I wasn't displeased with Dr. Fry, I was just...hmm..well, maybe I felt a little shortchanged, not to mention discouraged about the extended wait. After 3 hours of waiting I went through about a 20 minute whirlwind with him, his residents and his nurse. I walked to my car in a bit of a daze. I operate alot on feelings, and my feeling about him, as far as placing my life in his hands, was good.
On 5/10/02 I had my psych eval with Dr. Wolfe. What an amazing woman! I STRONGLY recommend her to anyone with weight/food issues regardless if you're pursuing surgery or not. Considering my expeience with Dr. Miller and one of his snotty nurses (not worth mentioning), I was overjoyed to meet someone who not only doesn't judge me on wanting to have surgery, but who is understanding, supportive and KNOWLEDGEABLE about obesity, wls and eating disorders. She's awesome! She cleared me for surgery, but strongly recommended some conseling to deal with some of my food issues. I can't argue with her, I've thought about counseling in the past. At this point I'm in favor of anything that might help me make this surgery/life style change a permanent success!
I am going to start attending some support group meetings, and otherwise will continue to wait to hear from the sleep center.
12-01: Very interested in this surgery. I just got a referral from my pcp to have a consultation with Dr. Fry. My pcp does not know alot about the specifics of the surgery or the process, but at least he knows enough to say that he doesn't have any other answers. I really respect that. I have a long time to wait until I can see Dr. Fry, but it's exciting to be on my way.
Surgeon Info:
Surgeon: Donald Fry, M.D.
Just got a pcp referral to see Dr. Fry. Called to schedule a consultation on 12/19 and their earliest date was May 7!!! Ouch!
Insurer Info:
Presbyterian, HMO
The insurance company is the best. I had to do absolutely nothing. They approved each and every pre-op test and then approved the surgery without any hassel! All insurance companies should be this easy!! All they require is that you are at least 100 lbs overweight, and that your pcp says the surgery is medically necessary. Thank you Pres!!
