txchik

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I am alive and well and have lost over 100 pounds! I did not read my old posts so I don't really remember what was written, but I beleive i left off shortly before I had a gal bladder complication and they had to emergency remove it. WLS is nothing compared to a gal stone! If you are checking into having surgery you may want to ask how what your doctor thinks about removing the gal bladder while they are in there. It is a common side affect to get gal bladder attacks and/or gal stones after surgery. I was aware of this but did not ask about it because I figured I would deal with it if it affected me. Oh man did it!

But I recovered nicely and have since continued to lose weight. On New Year's 2010 I broke my foot because i am clumsy like that. Even being able to eat larger amounts more in a normal range and not able to excersize I have and seem to continue to lose weight and/ inches.

I now teeter around 194 - 197 and am wearing a size 14 pants and  large tops. My weight loss has balanced and slowed to a 1 or 2 pound loss a month. I also fluctuate 4 or 5 pounds through out the month due to hormones. My body has adjusted to be able to eat small normal portions and I am not nauseated after eating unless I have too much sugar or milk in my food or drink. Everything else is like normal again or feels normal which is good enough for me. I take a chewable vitamin everyday and a liquid one called geritol or something that tastes just aweful but it has a lot of iron and makes me feel good. That being said I can now eat low sugar yogurts a half cup at a time and could live on eggs overeasy. The drwbacks are most days I feel super hungry every other hour like i am starving. I also have to take nexium and tums  sometimes even prilosec powder on top of it all cause I tend to get ulcers sometimes where things have been rerouted, but most the time just a nightly nexium pill prevents the issue. Overall I am really pleased with the results and if I had to do it over I would!!

Now I am ready to check out cosmetics. My boobs shrunk!! ...and I kinda have grandma arms and twin belly without the kids to show for it. Right now I think I look great in clothes, but I feel my journey will be complete when I feel just as great without them even if just in my own company.

Oh and I went brunette!

I am Waayyy overdue to update people, I know.  I have been so busy. Its funny I had such a hard tim with the surgery at first, but I have to say it is by far the best thing I have done for myself in the past few years. I am now at a point where I have adjusted to things and almost don't notice I had surgery...almost.

My weight is down to 245. I have lost somewhere near 60 pounds or more! My scale says 65 pounds lost anyway on the weight tracker. I had bought my self a fancy scale before surgery and I have to say it was a fantastic idea. It can tell me my body fat percent also and at times I am not losing weight I can see I may have lost body fat at the same weight.

I have no dumping, none!! Thank god for that. I can eat most anything I want. There are a few things I can not eat but the list is small so far. I do get nausia sometimes when I eat bad food anyway or find something does not break down well no matter how much I chew. The nausia can be bad at times but it is not often anymore. I also found my pouch of a stomache does not stretch. Seriously it does not. Overeating is bad and a mouth full too much can result in losing everything in my tummy. It took me a while to get used to that. I would eat too fast and then if it swelled in my tummy even its like my tummy would contract and up goes most everything I ate. Of course I make it to the restroom cause its not so so sudden, but its a brisk walk to get there. Soon as its out the nausia is imediatly gone and I can sit down and start over. LOL so sugery kinda made me seem bulemic at first till I got the hang of things and made the adjustments I needed to make.

Food I have to watch or cant eat:
Milk - I have to get a special reduced sugar added protein milk from central market, all others cause a little nausia including lactose free
yogurt - causes a pain in my intestin area thats hard to explain and not fun so I don't eat it
creamy sauces - I can eat in small amounts as long as I get it on the side and use it more as a dip,  lots causes nausia
eggs - I can not eat eggs any more, they make me super sick like food poisining sick
sugar - I can have a very small amount, such as a couple bites, any more causes bad nausia
fuit juices - I add water to them and I can drink them but I dont crave it much so I don't drink it often or in large amounts

Thats about it for the no no list. I should take more vitamins than I do. I do give myself b12 shots which are awesome. I find I need the shots every 2 to 3 weeks as apposed to once a month like the doctor sudgested. I can feel when I am low on that big time cause my sleep gets off and I get low on energy. I had oral b12 but it doesn't cut it so I am not sure my body absorbs the oral stuff so well for that. I take airborne every now and then for extra vitamins also. I snack instead of eating meals. The snacks are my meals and I eat almost every 2 hours, sometimes more, sometimes less.

The foods I crave are different now. I find I crave the green olives, the kind that goes in a dirty martini. I could eat those by the jar full, literally. I love turkey jerkey and could eat it all day. I also crave watermelon all the time and eat a little every day. I get this garbonzo bean salad mix from central market that is mostly garbonzo beans and so good.  I eat the string cheese stuff all the time also. I crave cheese a lot. I am not so much a sweets person any more. Its weird how having the surgery made food kinda taste different. Candies and sweets don't taste quite as good as they used to so I don't have a liking for them quite like I used to. Every once in a while I will crave something sweet and usuall a bite or two, followed by lots of water to prevent nausia, will do the trick. Eating out can be tricky also, if not altogether a difficult time. It is hard when they refill your drink and you have a ton of food sitting in front of you and people that may still expect you to eat quite a bit more, since sitting across the table makes them really aware of how much you are not eating. I try to not eat out unless its with friends that I am comfortable with enough that I know they won't presure me or make me feel uncomfortable and that me not eating much in turn won't make them feel uncomfortable either. Everyone else I say lets get apetizers instead of lets go to luch or lets go to dinner. I guess "lets get appetizers" insinuates I won't be eating much, or something, so there seems less presure, although that could just be all in my head.

I fit in clothes I have not fit into for awhile. I was squeezing out of size 24 pants before the surgery and now I am wearing size 20 comfortably and able to fit in a size 18, but 18 is still a bit too tight for wearing out yet. I have been on a couple trips recently and I now don't feel like I am squeezing into the next persons seat on a plane. I can walk comfortably down the airplane isle and my tray sits flat and not at an angle anymore cause my legs were too chubby and in the way. The one draw back is my boobs are shrinking and I was really loving how big they had gotten so I have resolved to a boob job after I lose another 40 or 50 pounds. My belly has been coming in a little awkward too, but mostly even considering. I have a pooch and a little rolliness going on on the sides. Its too early to tell if I will end up needing a tummy tuck though cause for the most part the skin has been coming in. I just think I may be losing faster than my skin is adjusting so far. I did get a couple of those neoprene sweat belts and I put them around my tummy and leave them on till they are all grose and sweaty, which takes a few hours sometimes. After that I take a bath and add a little grapeseed oil or olive oil with the bubble bath soap. By a little I mean I put a table spoon in sometimes and sometimes 1/4 a cup, or so, which I guess is not really a little. I find this helps the stretch marks disapear on me a lot, not completely, but you can visibly see the difference. It also makes my skin feel better. If you want to try this you can find the belts in the workout area of walmart for something around five bucks. They come in a box and are usually right around the yoga ball kinda stuff.


So anyhoo ... this is all I got for now.  More to come later!

Well I am a day away from week four of recovery I believe. Yay! I am almost back to normal although I still get sore on my left side from even a very short brisk walk and everything on that side is still a little tight in my muscles as if they cut them a few weeks ago or something, go figure. Actually it feels a little like an unstretched muscle that has been a little overworked out which is way better than the charlie horse feeling spasms I was getting up to, about, a week ago. I went back to my soft foods after my mushroom, green bell peper and onion insident at Chili's. Except Sunday I did try something new and that went well, but more of that later.
   More food adventures of txchik episode....
So I have had a stocked fridge of soft foods like hummus and drinkable yogurt and geek yogurt (both yogurts have the same amount of protein) and soups for days ll from the whole foods store. I have been very happy on them not really having too much experiments untill the last few days. I went to Boston Market cause I was out and about and thought oooh creamed spinich will work. I have been craving spinich like crazy lately so I eat it  all the time but only well cooked and creamed or so chopped it may as well been put slightly through a blender. Well I decided to try a little squash caserole and some stuffing since and mashed potatos from there. All was fine till I tried the stuffing and it has small chopped carrots well cooked in it. I did not get to the tuffing for a few days, but when I did I got so sick and through up. Then went back to my veggie hummus which also has cooked carrot slivers in it and got nausious. Now the stuffing I can understand but the hummus I had been eating all last week. That when I realized I can't eat carrot any more right now cause I get so very sick. Isn't that messed up. I can have honey, sugar, fried crap. cheese and high carb so far including bread and I am fine unless I over eat. However somehow I can no longer eat carrot, bell peper, onion, or mushroom all of which I love. Makes no sense! Anyhow I ended up throwing away most of the mashed potato I had left and all the stuffing cause gtting sick made it look and smell grose after that. I then ate my soft foods already at home till the next aftenoon. 
      I always feel guilty after I get sick, from eating stuff that does not agree with me, the following day, about not getting the vitamins and protien in I am supposed to be getting since usually I am only in the mood for water after those events. So again I am out and about when I get my appetite back. This time I decide to stop by a place called The Smoothie Factory because I know I can get a small protein shake and have them put extra protien and vitamins in there. I also had a shot of wheatgrass juice while I was there. This was a good idea and keeping me on track until I can't help but notice the sub shop right next door. So of course I go in to torture myself. Only this time when they ask what can we get you I honestly answer that I am not sure since it is more likely I will smell it and look at it then get to eat it. I officially realize how much I am missing veggies and salad and turkey subs in this moment. The guy behind the counter then asks why, of course, so I tell him I just had weight loss surgery and can't eat a lot anymore. Well to my surprise he replies that his mom has had the same thing a few years back and the lady that works there also pipes in and lets us know she had WLS almost 10 years ago. She then whips out an old before pic she caries with her and tells me that what you can and can not eat will most likely change a little for the rest of my life, which I think is good to know. The guy asked to know exactly what week I was at in recovery and if I might like turkey or tuna maybe, which I chose turkey. They then specially made me a salad that had very chopped (almost diced) lettuce and extra chopped tomato and some pickle slices, which I requested, then he sliced some turkey really thin for me and then rolled it up and cut it into peices so I could do a peice at a time and a couple thin peices of cheese. The guy told me to start with that and if I want we can add more next time since he thought the rest I might have a hard time with like onions and bell pepers. I had not told him yet I already ruled those out for the time being. I left there so impressed and felt so taken care of! I took my salad home, it took me 2 days to eat it, but it was good and it went down great! I can not tell you how happy I am to be eating salad of some sort again. So now I am sticking with them when I am out and eating the food I already have when home and things are good.
  I have also gotten better about getting my food and taking a couple bites then sitting it next to me and not eating more till I am hungry again. Its been a challenge to eat my meals in a fashion that I used to consider snacking. Right now I am the most pleased with things since I got the surgery. Adjusting has been hard but I feel I am getting it.

   Ok I am totally a rule breaker by nature so I have to say I am really surprised that I thought I would be any different in this regard. I am supposed to be on a soft foods diet as of this week but as usual I have been breaking all the rules. It all started last week or so right before my second week follow up. I couldn't get enough protein is all I can figure so I was craving cheese burger like a dehydrated person craves water and this had been going on since day two out of the hospital. I was craving not only cheese burger but McDonalds cheese burger and pickle juice! To really explain the situation I never crave anything burger much less beef, I am allergic to beef! And pickle juice, really!? So this was so weird for me and I knew it was no good but it was my oassis craving for almost 2 weeks and I caved and it was sooo good at the moment. But now I realize that this was a really bad decision because I could have ended up with bowel obstuction or something which I am lucky didn't happen. That could have put me back in the hospital.

   Anyway I got my fix then went to the follow up and found out that was bad bad bad and have not had one since which was simple since I have not been wanting anymore. You would have thought after I was more educated about why I am not eating stuff yet I would do better. I sure did end up eating sushi  a couple days later though, not the rice, technicaly the sashimi really. This bit of cheating was so good but  really bad cause I had 6 sashimi peices or so and it sure did take me almost 3 days to eat 4 peices and made eating and drinking eveything else a real chore. Even though I chewed really well the fish kinda lingered in the little tummy for way too long and took up all the room! This made me realize if stuff is stuck in my little tummy its really hard to get my fluids also. You get one or the other, not both. There is only so much room in that little tummy and this includes room for water. So I decided to go back on soft foods like I was supposed to be on in the first place but somewhat reverted to the liquid diet to make up for the lost vitamins. I never did finish that sashimi. It had to be thrown out.  

   Well a coouple days ago I was up to my old habbits and breaking rules again! I went to Chili's with a friend and decided steak and portabello mushrooms fajita sounded so good and I sure did order it. I got a little plate and took some mushroom and green bell peper and onion, gave the rest to my friend who has been eating well thanks to me I might add, and had some bites then toped it with a spoon of salsa and thought yum yum. Until I realized that the mushroom doesn't break down when its cooked no matter how well you chew and it was stuck in my tummy and then my tummy contracted or something and I was all the sudden too nauseous and full to move. I then grabed a napkin and thought I was going to burp into it when my tummy apparently did the contracting and up came all my food. I threw up at the table!! All I could think was thank god there is such a small amount that it fits in the napkin just fine. OMG moment! I then threw up everything I drank after we got outside the restaurant with the rest of my food and was nauseous the whole next day throwing up 3 more times. Needles to say I am back on my soft foods mostly. The soft food have been kinder to me. The nausea has also since gone away again.

   I have found that I can eat fried food and starches just fine. Sugars can make me a little crampy in excess sush as a sweet tea, but its not bad. Still I don't crave them for the most part since the surgery anyway so its no problem not havng them. Mainly I can not do milk by itself cause it makes my heart race and makes me feel bad, but if it has protien in it via powder or whatever it is fine. I am also good with cheeses and have no dumping whatsoever to date.  Today I ate mostly greek yogurts and hummus, but I did get a sonic corn dog and ate half the fried cornbread then gave the rest of the corndog to my friend. 
  
   I have noticed my hardest thing is that I am a meal person more than a snacker and I am having to learn to snack often and get the meal out of mind cause at the 2 - 3 tablespoons I can fit in me its just not gonna happen. Not now anyway. I have also found I have no patience. I am totally a right now kinda person which I never realized before. When you're waiting to heal and all this is not the kind of person you want to be. Its not condusive to the healing process I have noticed. By the way as I mentioned before I sure did drink some pickle juice and that second week it was better than chocolate I was loving it so much, but I am over that now and not craving it any more. 

   Today I had a moment of enlightenment. I was thinking to myself how this maybe was not the best choice I ever made, due to the difficulty adjusting. I was thinking this as I was opening mail from the hospital. It was the bill and I saw that and had a come to Jesus moment after seeing the $44,000 stare at me from the page realizing I was blessed to not have to pay any of it out of pocket. Thoughts went straight from "what have I done.." to  "I may not like it now but I am gonna learn to love it!" In my suffering I had forgot how much I had wanted this and how much the money was a hurdle without my insurance and that I was lucky it was relatively easy to get approved.

   On that note I realize this was not easy and surgery sucks flat out no doubt about it. The adjustment has been somewhat brutal, but in the end every week has gotten easier and every week I feel a little better. I am learning to accept the gravity of the life decision I have made and realizing it has affected a lot more than what I expected or thought it would. I also keep talking to my friends that had it a year or more ago to find they went through the same thing. I know they are so happy now and I know that will be me as soon as I get over my short frustrations that pop up and linger sometimes.

   Good news is that I have lost 20 pounds!  That has kept me really going. I am losing a little slower than my friends did, but I was expecting that considering my thyroid and other hormone issues that caused the weight gain in the first place. Slow weight loss is better than no weight loss. I had a goal originally to lose 50 pounds by August and I am already almost halfway there and not even a month out so that part is fantastic!

Doing much better today! Have not needed pain meds or nausia meds really. Eating soft foods like baby food a lot. Well not a lot a lot since I can only eat about 3 tablespoons worth but mostly a few bites satisfies me and I feel full. If I don't get enough protein then I notice I am eating all three tablespoons and am left with a hungry feeling body even though my tummy is full. I have to say its kinda a strange sensation to be full yet feel so hungry still. Once the doc said that was lack of protein most likely and I added more it fixed the problem. I have to say now that I am healed a bit more and getting back to normal I think I am happy with doing this inspite of weight altogether. Because although I have not been weighing myself but at the doctor visits (for all I know I have lost no more weight than before) I feel better already. I already am feeling like I have a little more energy than I used to which is great! I have been sleeping a lot during the recovery time but when I am awake I just don't feel quite as lethargic as I did before. To have my energy back was one of my main goals I just thought that I would probably need to lose a lot of weight before that was a posibility and in fact I have not. I am already getting my energy back a little at a time.

I had my follow up appt. today and got my drain taken out which felt really weird. I am in much less pain now, but still fighting nausea so I take meds to help with that. I have lost a little weight but I really have a hard time getting super excited about the weightloss until I am below 280 because that is the weight I have been having such a hard time getting below and once I am there all the pain I went through will start to feel like it was worth it. Right now I am 303 lbs

I had it done and have had a kinda hard time recovering. I am still so tired! sometimes I think "what did i do to myself" but I bet that thought goes away after the first 20 - 50  lbs lost. For right now I hurt though and I can't wait to not hurt any more. I just got home today.

It 4:30 AM! I am up and showered .. about to wash my face get dressed and go do this thing!

Thanks for the well wishes sent and the prayers on my behalf!

   I did the USO volunteer orientation thing and I have to say for all you single ladies that like some eye candy and/or men in uniforms you should sign up to help! They're really flexible with working around your schedule.

  Now as far as the surgery stuff I went for my pre-op visit on March 18th and had a pic taken and got a goodie bag with a flexible veggie cutting board and a catalog of post bariatric food with a few samples. Nothing like a pre-op visit to make you realize how close to the surgery date you are and really make the minutes feel liike they are ticking by slowly. I was getting nervous and anxious so I have been having my friends kinda babysit me the last week or so which has helped a lot.  I say it is Sunday night in this post title, but in reality it is technically Monday and I have about 30 hours till I go to the hospital and check in for surgery prep.

30 hours! If I am lucky I will sleep some of those.

I went to do the pre-op testing a couple days ago. I got to see a bit of the hospital I will be getting my surgery at and I am pleased with what I saw. I found out that all the rooms are private which is awesome since as far as I understand my insurance does not pay for private rooms unless that is all that is available. So yay!  They took a bunch of blood for the pre-op testing and did an upper GI test and you have to drink this barium stuff that is just awefull and made me feel like I had to puke but its so thick you know its not gonna happen. Yuck Yuck Yuck! But on the plus side the imaging for the test is really cool to see. But in all honesty I would rather graze on the grass in my front yard than drink that stuff again. Lucky for me I think I get to drink it again after my surgery to check for leaks, yipee . 

The closer surgery gets the more I am finding myself nervous and excited and a bit emotional. A few weeks ago my mom was thoroughly freaking me out, but that is now resolved.  I have about a week and six days till the big day and am trying to keep myself busy to keep my nerves under control. As an at home wife to a now deployed soldier I decided to sign up for some charity work. So I signed up to be a volunteer at the local USO and today is my first day so I am excited about that.