veebee11
What did I do to myself???
May 11, 2012
So I had my VSG on Monday and I truly thought I was prepared for this surgery, but boy was I ever wrong!! As I went into the OR I was super nervous, but thought I'll be fine, I bet I wake up feeling nice and sleepy because of the anesthesia. Fast forward two hours later.... I was coming in and out of consciousness feeling like I had a football stuck in the middle of my chest. I started hyperventilating and screaming (well as much as I could get out) "HELP!! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!!" Then a nurse sticks an alcohol swab in between my nostrils and oxygen tubes... Queue in some more screaming! I could not breathe!! I have neverrr felt so much pain in my life, I really thought I was not going to make it. What did I do to myself??? For four days I could not eat anything. Every sip of water I took I would gag and gag and gag causing so much pain in my stomach. I had the worst experience with gas stuck in my chest and more off to my left side that I asked for an EKG because I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Then to top it off i had the worst case of nausea! It was so bad that I BARELY pushed the morphine button because I was so scared to get nauseous. I just dealt with the pain. And to be honest I didnt even feel the pain in my stomach and incisions because I was so overwhelmed my the gas and nausea. I was so heartbroken because I knew I could not go back. This was it. At the end of my fourth day I started drinking okay, but I was so scared of drinking in air that I took a longgg time to go through my 30/60/90 trial. Today I am five days out and although I still battle the gas situation, I am now really feeling my incisions and sore stomach. I am wondering if I made the right decision. Did I do something too drastic to my body? I just keep praying to God to take my pain away and to make me normal again. I guess I just have to be patient.
Another thing i am battling with are all the lies. It is so hard to keep this a secret. I dont have the courage to face all the questions and judgments by family and friends. I have told some and thank God they support me, but I still dont have a game plan on how to face everyone once I start losing crazy weight. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Well I hope this helps anyone who is going to get surgery or went through the same thing I did right after surgery.... It really isnt easy. I think we focus so much on getting skinny that we dont really prepare ourselves for the seriousness of this surgery. At least I didnt :/
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Another thing i am battling with are all the lies. It is so hard to keep this a secret. I dont have the courage to face all the questions and judgments by family and friends. I have told some and thank God they support me, but I still dont have a game plan on how to face everyone once I start losing crazy weight. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Well I hope this helps anyone who is going to get surgery or went through the same thing I did right after surgery.... It really isnt easy. I think we focus so much on getting skinny that we dont really prepare ourselves for the seriousness of this surgery. At least I didnt :/