whimsygurl
So this is my story. I've been "heavier than normal" for as long as I can remember. My weight really started pile on after my parent's divorce during my preteen years and just increased from there. I can remember coming home from school and binging on everything in sight. Once I graduated college and started working as a nurse.....nights....eating out on my days off was a treat and of course I never ordered anything healthy. Entertaining friends/family was a love for my husband and I and we did it often. Fast forward 7 years and struggles with infertility andI found myself at rock bottom at 29 years old......feeling like I was only a step away from dying. I know it sounds dramatic....but looking back.....that is truly how I felt....and it was mostly true. I was a type 2 diabetic with uncontrolled blood sugars, high blood pressure, fatty liver, a hurting marriage, and quite frankly no hope. I felt so guilty b/c we had been blessed by the greatest gift ever in 2010 when one of the patients at my hospital chose us to adopt her daughter. I was so scared that I wasn't going to be there for my sweet girl......at least not with vision, mobility, or legs :(.
I finally made the decision in July 2012 to start this journey. It was a long time coming! The night I was scheduled for my weight loss surgery seminar meeting I was confronted with what would be the most gut wrenching, painful, and mindset changing discovery of my life as of yet. Apparently in the months prior to my decision to have surgery I was "facing my own demons" and really absorbed in my own mind so much that I didn't notice that my husband (my high school sweetheart, husband of 7 years) was having an affair. I am really thankful looking back now that I had made the decision in my mind that I was going to have surgery and change my life before this happened b/c had I not been in that mindset I don't know what would have happened to me. After some major soul searching on both of our parts, counseling, lots and lots up all night reading, talking, praying together we have come through to the other side of infidelity and are thriving. I know my decision to stay isn't approved of or shared by all but I know for me it was the right thing to do. Am I going to be a doormat.....NO.....but I felt like I could at least give us a fighting chance of working through things.
Anywhoo.....sorry for the drama but it's been a big part of my last year and some of the struggles I've had to fight through since surgery and food couldn't be a comfort like in the past. I went in for an uneventful VSG on 10/17/12 and a day later after a normal swallow study went home to start my new life. Other than one bout of dehydration the first week which was fixed at home by my paramedic husband and a bag of normal saline I was doing great. Fast forward 2 months later and I was getting used to my "new" way of life. I had been through 3 birthdays(mine, daughters, husbands) and Thanksgiving without any hiccups. I can honestly say I followed my NUT's plan and never once felt like I had taken "one bite too many" or was uncomfortable from anything I ate, etc. I had accepted the fact that I was going to be a slower loser and was going to have to work harder than others to be successful with my sleeve. I started walking on my treadmill 5 days a week. One morning I literally woke up feeling like I had some indigestion....which I had never had before even pre VSG but had been on Protonix as a precaution anyways. After a few days of feeling like this....no pain, no fever, just a general heartburn like feeling....I started to get worried. I called my surgeon and he scheduled me an appt in 2 days and called me in a Rx for Nexium. That night I should have known better as I had to get in the fetal position to get comfortable to go to sleep. I had always heard that you would "know" if you were having a leak/stricture b/c the pain is severe and honestly I thought I was past the major risk time for such. The next morning at work while trying to sip my warm decaf tea-----my nurse friends finally talked my into going to the ER. My husband met me there. We were both in uniform and the attending MD just happened to be his EMS medical supervisor so we got the 5 star treatment-Yay! Anyways, labwork showed increased pancreatic enzymes so we were thinking maybe bile duct blockage or sludge(since I had my gallbladder out when I was 16). No fever, no increased white counts. The nurse even told me.....you would know if it was a leak....those patients just "look" sick. I was just so grateful it wasn't a leak. I was terrified that a leak would mean my insurance wouldn't cover anything from this point forward b/c my surgery was elective.When I came back from my CT and the MD walked into the room my worst fears came to life. I had a pocket of air outside of my upper stomach that was really close to my pancreas causing pancreatitis but was most likely a leak. On we went for a swallow study and my worst fears were confirmed. It was a small leak in the upper incision line near the esophagus. At this point my surgeon came in and I immediately asked what I had done to cause this. I had followed orders to a T. He assured me that it was not anything I did and the leak was probably there all along but swelling had sealed it until now. The plan was to be in hospital for a week with an NG tube to suction, have a drain placed to the leak site that I would keep for a month(through the holidays), and then hopefully be on the mend. Well.....after a night of constant gagging/throwing up from the NG tube and the radiologist who was supposed to place the drain refusing b/c it was located too close to my spleen we had to change plans. Honestly at that point he could have done anything to me as long as I got that NG tube out. That was the worst thing ever......I guess it's payback for the hundreds that I've put in being an NICU nurse. :(
The new plan was to place an esophageal stent(usu used for esophageal cancer pts) in my lower esophagus/stomach to give my leak time to heal and allow me to have liquids and soft food. A few days later I went home with my stent and the constant chest pain that I was told to expect. I followed up with my surgeon a week later on Christmas Eve and was given the good news that I was doing ok and wouldn't need a PICC line and TPN as might have been needed if I couldn't get my fluids in with the stent. Thank God for liquid Lortab and Zofran b/c I was constantly nauseated and in pain. I sure was a sight.....going to my family Christmas get togethers in my pjs with my liquid gold(lortab)) in tow. It was a very low key Christmas/New Years to say the least.
In I went a month later to have my stent removed and be on my way. I wake up in recovery to the gastro md who had placed the stent telling me that she was unable to remove it b/c it had embedded itself into my stomach. lovely. A few more days in the hospital on IV fluids(b/c after the surgery could not keep anything down) and one surgery later my surgeon was able to get the stent out. I was sent home on clear liquids for a few days and then told to progress to full liquids. I lasted 5 days at home before I knew something just wasn't quite right. I had no desire to drink and was having pain in my upper left abdomen.(different place than my original indigestion feeling which was weird) On to the ER we went. After a 5 hour wait and a few hours of tests, CT I was told I had pancreatitis again but the CT was clear. I was admitted for antibiotics and my new plan was to have a PICC line placed and be on TPN(or iv nutrition) for a month and have nothing by mouth. Looking back I wish we had just done this from the beginning. When the PICC line was placed of course it would sit on a nerve so my whole arm/hand had the neuropathy ache when something was infusing in it. I was told that was normal and I couldn't help but think how many of my little NICU babies felt like that with their PICC lines but couldn't tell us. It was really uncomfortable....enough for me to stay on Lortab and to have to take a sleeping pill at night when my IV fluids were infusing. At this point my body was physically dependent of the narcotic. I was on a low dose but when it would get close to time for it I would get shaky and very irritable/anxious. This is how I lived for the next month. Once I started getting the IV nutrition I started to actually feel better than I had before, though. I was still weak but could actually take a bath by myself/ walk around the grocery store for a short trip, and cook an easy meal for my family. I still wasn't working b/c my MD wouldn't clear me to work as a nurse with my PICC line and on Lortab and honestly I don't think I would have made it b/c I would have to rest after just taking a bath. My PICC stayed in a month and then was removed and so far so good. My swallow studies have been clear and I have progressed back up to a full/no restrictions diet. I never thought that all of those things could happen to me but I know it could have been a lot worse. I've read here about people being in ICU and having major complications with their PICC lines and problems lasting for months and months. I'm thankful that even though I was out from work for 4 months....I still had a job to go back to, and that I have the family that I do that took care of me and my 2 year old. I'm forever grateful.
