wildwest

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Today and actually for the past week I have seriously been considering what I've done to myself. I got this WLS lap-band in hopes that I'd wake up from surgery a brand new person... well, surprise! I didn't. I'm still hungry. I'm still overeating... I'm still the person I was that kept destroying my future. I'm so confused if I did the right thing. Maybe I need to go see my doctor, talk to a therapist about getting to a place that's manageable in my life. I can't stop eating, still. I just feel full, but that the way I felt before and I just kept going. We've spent $17,000 on this surgery, and maybe it wasn't the right thing for me. Maybe I should have gotten RNY, or maybe just stayed the girl I was. This is hard, its really really hard. I'm fighting my way to be skinny and without anyone knowing or to have any support because I feel like I'm alone in this... disease of overeating and obesity... I just can't figure out how to break the cycle and make myself care about my future and my body. Hopefully I get over this and on to the life that I've imagined for the last 20 years... Let's just hope it happens soon.