Yasmin
Happy New Year... A new Year and A new ME !! JAN 2, 2007
Jan 02, 2007
It has been a while since I wrote.
I don’t know why but I have been avoiding this site. I feel like I can truly express my feelings here and maybe that is why I am scared to be here sometimes.. LoL
Well I have lost 42lbs in 2 months!
I never imagined I would be here writing my own weight loss story.
I started this journey reading about 20 profiles a day.. .lol
I am still in DENIAL.. I still feel afraid that I might not lose anymore! I know it sounds crazy, but I am just not absorbing all of this.. lol
I have my 3 Months follow up on January 22 with Dr. Pop.. I am excited but also worried cuz I am not sure if I should be losing more than I am and it triggers a fear of all my past diet attempts even though I know this is a major lifestyle change and not a DIET!
I am truly HAPPY that I mad this decision. Although I have a ways to go 150lbs to be more specific, I feel amazing. I realized how much time and energy I had been applying to trying to lose weight that I had almost become completely MISERABLE!!!!! Miserable with my fiancé who has been an amazing partner in this but more importantly, I have been miserable with myself.
Every day that passes I now feel a little bit more alive and excited about many things that I had tuned out of my head.
I really have to say that I thought the surgery and the lifestyle change would be more difficult and I am very pleased to learn that it is NOT so bad. There small things that I miss like drinking while eating which is bad for you anyways and I miss POP even though i was not a pop fan before surgery, I feel like I crave it every now and then but over all this has been tolerable and pleasant.
I seem to enjoy flavors more, maybe it is because I am chewing everything for an hour LOL ... so I enjoy my meals more than before the surgery because i used to INHALE them before and didn’t really get to savor the Flavor :)
Well, I will keep you posted on my progress...
I just started to workout this week. I know i should have started earlier but I am glad i started and it feels AMAZING to move and sweat.
Thanks again to my friend MELISSA who guided me and helped me get everything started. I have been able to help a couple of people myself and guide them as you guided me
My Starting weight was 340 on October 26,06 ( Day of Surgery)
and today I weigh 298.5 :)
I truly feel BLESSED.
Until next time, Keep Smiling J
MY STORY
Nov 03, 2006
Well, I am here... FINALLY... and I have never been so sure that this is where I need to be! I have been battling with my weight since i was 8 years old. I am now 27 and soon to be married.
There are only so many times you can go on a rollercoaster before you get really sick and make the decision that you have had ENOUGH!... Well simply put... I HAVE HAD ENOUGH...
ENOUGH of blaming my self for every diet I have tried and failed
ENOUGH of feeling unattractive
ENOUGH of crying when people stare and talk
ENOUGH of Feeling ashamed of myself
ENOUGH of Hiding Food so people dont judge me when i eat
ENOUGH of justifying why I look the way I do
ENOUGH of peoples judgements
ENOUGH Tears,
ENOUGH Wasted moments, days, months and years of trying to solve this puzzle ...
I am starting this journey for the first time in YEARS... with HOPE and with a dream that I can FINALLY GET OFF this RollerCoaster and walk .. walk .. walk and feel the ground beneath my feet as it supports a balanced, Healthy and New ... Forever NEW ME
So .. To start off ..I just began researching WLS last week .. I just came to a realization that maybe, just maybe it's not my fault that I can't lose this weight and maybe I should consider WLS after all these years of truly suffering emotionally, physically and spiritually.
So I live in Ontario Canada and as most of you have heard the waiting lists are outrragous. something like 6-12 years.. it is unbelievable.. but true.
There are only 2 doctors who perform RNY (which is what i think i will chose at this point in time) in all of ONTARIO..
So i am looking into OCC with OHIP.. I need HELP.. If anyone knows anything or can give me any tips.. Plz plzzzzzzzzzzzzz advise..
I have some info .. but i need more .. I want to do it right the first time so i can minimize the waiting time.. cuz like everyone else on this webiste .. I wanted this surgery YESTERDAY. LAST YEAR, IN MY PAST LIFE.. CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT .. but you get what i mean!
I will keep you guys posted.. I have an apt with my MD this Thursday where i will break the news.. and see where it goes..
Wishing all of you courage, strength and happiness as you find you path to the balanced road!
May 25/2006
First.. I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who has been sending me info and helping me .. without you .. i would be lost .. so THANK YOU AGAIN..
I went to my Family Doctor today and I told about my decision to have surgery. She did not oppose or disagree with me although she said she has one patient who she met post-op who had many complications and she wants me to be aware of the risks. I told her that i have done my research and I am aware of all the risks and have accepted the reality and seriousness of the surgery. She said she would feel more comfortable if she would get a surgeon in the weightloss field to reveiw my file and recommend the surgery for me as well. She said she will sign it and send it to ohip but she wants me to see a surgeon first in the field. I told her that the RNY surgeons are very few and wait lists to see them for a consultation is 4-5 years. She said the surgeon doesnt have to be RNY specified just any surgeon in this field who can agree with this decision. WHY ME.. i thought .. but then i thought almost everything in my life comes with a bit of a struggle which makes me appreciate it more..
So Now i wait til my Dr's office calls me with an appt. I feel worried and a little down but I know I will push and push until this goes through.
MY Dr. Is fairly new .. so maybe she is scared to make a big decision on her own...
I will wait and hope for better news next week .. Until then .. smile cuz it is contagious hehehehe..
June 13, 2006
Sorry for not updating but I have been waiting for something good to happen and it has.... I faxed my OCC Form and all the paper work today to OHIP .. My Dr. still didnt want to check off the Death or permenant tissue damage on the form but she wrote an amazing letter of support to go along with the application and she included a whole bunch of medical reports and history. So i am hopeful that i am heading in the right direction. I would like to offically thank MELISSA W. for her continued support throughout this process. THANK YOU .. for Everything :)
And I called Barix and I tentatively booked my CONSULTATION for July 3rd since I will be off work .. due to the great CANADA DAY..
So i will keep you posted.. til then .. keep smiling.. :)
July 16, 2006
Well a lot has happened since i last updated and I am sorry for not updating but I work 2 jobs and I only have one day off per week where i can catch up with life. So, because my Dr didnt check off the Death/Permenant Tissue damage box, OHIP sent back the forms to my Dr's office 2 weeks from the day it was originally faxed. They said she needs to complete that section and refax the form. My Dr. wanted me to have a consult with a surgeon before she checks off those boxes. So my consult was scheduled for July 3 with Dr. POP. It was AMAZING. I was soooooooo impressed with Barix and Dr. POP..
I arrived early so that i would be first to see the Dr after the group consult cuz they base it on first come first see the Dr. after he does the group consultation. First of all i have to say .. I LOVED THE BIG CHAIRS.. I had just arrived from Toronto in a small Airplane and my thighs were killing from the arm rest digging in my thighs.. so those chairs ARE JUST BEAUTIFUL and i am so glad that someone was considerate enough to have larger than average chairs at this clinic.. which is HUGE.. it is a hospital of it's own.
The lady who took us to the consult room looked like she has never been a pound overweight in all her life.. to my surprise she was a former patient and she used to be 300 lbs.. I was floored.. this woman looked amazing.. so of course emotional me.. i started to cry cuz I just could not believe that I can one day look like that.. wow..
so Dr. Pop arrived a few moments later and he was so funny, sincere and informative. His presentation was EXCELLENT.. he stressed the fact that we really have to ask ourselves .. what in our lifes has made us gain this much weight.. he meant emotional/psychological issues that we have to learn to deal with from now on so that once we have the surgery we can continue to work on them and take the proper steps to healing our body and mind.. HE IS AMAZING.. my best friend came with me and she was soooooooo impressed with him and his depth of knowledge and his sense of humor..
So then after everyone asked their questions i was taken into a private room with a nurse to take my weight and my medical history.. Then i met Dr. Pop.. and he was so nice and funny.. and he asked me to lose 15 lbs and said as soon as i have my approval from OHIP.. we can set the surgery date.. I THINK I MUST HAVE JUMPED OUT OF MY SEAT once i heard him say that.. i was sooooooooooooooo happy and i asked him to send a letter to my dr. of my consult right away so that she can complete the form and send it to OHIP.
So I met with my family Dr. this week and i updated her and she was very impressed and actually excited and she said to me as soon as she gets the letter she will complete the form and fax it to Ohip... she said she just wanted to have a back up from a surgeon, which i understand since she has been practicing as a dr for less than 2 years.
So i called BARIX and advised them that my DR didnt receive the letter and they said they will fax it to her right away .. which they did and she will be faxing it tomorrow Monday July 17. So i know it is taking a while to get this paper work out but i am still very hopefull and i believe that everything happens for a reason.
So as soon as i get my approval .. I will update .. until then .. keep smiling.. :)
JULY 27, 2006
Hey everyone..
I had a feeling in my heart that something was going to happen today. I called my Dr's office and inquired if they had received anything from Ohip in regards to my approval. To my dissapointment.. the Nurse checked my file and said No, they had not received anything yet.
So later on in the day I checked my voice mail at home and I had a message from BARIX and it said .. WE HAVE RECEIVED YOUR APPROVAL FROM OHIP and you should expect a call from our scheduling department within 1-2 weeks.. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.. I can not belive this is happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was at work and I just felt so happy, I had to hold my tears back..
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HELPED ME and SUPPORTED ME and THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN SHARING THEIR EXPERIENCE THROUGH THIS FORUM .. because without everyone's info and updates.. I WOULD NOT HAVE FELT THE HAPPINESS I FEEL IN MY HEART TODAY AFTER A VERY LONG TIME...
THANK YOU
YASMIN
Sept 3, 2006
Hello Everyone…
I am sorry for not posting for a while but my life has taken a sad turn..
I was contacted by Barix on August 14 and advised of my surgery date which was September 21, 2006… My heart was pounding a mile a minute; I was soooooooooooo excited I started to cry at work at my desk… happy tears of course.
Exactly two days later my mom became very ill and was rushed to the hospital. My mom is 47 and she is a mother of 5. My youngest brother is 8 (he was a surprise she said)
My mom was sent for a whole bunch of tests and the diagnosis was not good.
We were told at the time that she has large masses growing on her ovaries and her uterus.
They said she needs to have surgery as soon as possible and they need to be removed.
We were all shocked because she never complained of pain or any major symptoms that might alert us to investigate further. We were told that the growths measure 7 cm and they are not sure if they are malignant but it is possible because the lymph nodes are also swollen/enlarged. We met with the surgeon at Princess Margaret Hospital and she explained to us the procedure of a full Hysterectomy. The next step was to book the surgery date, which happened to fall on Sept 18, 2006. She will need a minimum of 4-6 weeks of recovery time.
I contacted Barix and I requested to have my date changed and we agreed on October 26, 2006. I explained the situation to them and I advised them that based on my mom’s progress I may have to change again and they said they understand.
Since my mom was diagnosed I have been so worried about her that I cannot even think of my surgery or myself. I feel even more horrible because I have gained weight because I have been eating without thinking… the same cycle I have been trying to avoid all my life.
I don’t know how to get motivated about my procedure when my mom is so ill.
I am the only girl and I have four brothers, 3 of which are younger.
Everyday I say, tomorrow I will begin my healthy eating, but I can not seem to start and time is passing and I need to get motivated in my head and heart.
Sorry to share this depressing story but although I don’t know many of you, I feel like you are friends or angels who are always willing to help others and the only people who will understand my weakness.
Thanks for listening.
Yasmin
NOVEMBER 3, 2006
WEll, I DID IT!
I had my surgery on October 26, LAP!
I woke up feeling like anyone would after surgery but the next day I felt amazing UNTIL i had to do the LEAK TEST and HAD TO DRINK that NASTY liquid for the test.
So, ONce that went down, everything else came up!
The Doctor said, I have swelling in the area which is why I was bringing up old blood.
I got scared and panicked but the Doctor and nurses reassured me that is normal.
I definitly had nausea for the first 4-5 days and now I am feeling MUCH MUCH BETTER
I have a hard time with PROTEIN because i find it tastes chalky and i hate the foamy texture from the blender, so I will try to let it sit before i drink it.
I bought Isopure yesterday and I will try to driink that. Also my mom maid me lentil soup and strained it ... it tasted like heaven in my mouth because almost everything is sweet and i am starting to hate the thought of any sweet drink or dish.
Well, I want to send a BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE and especially Melissa W. who helped me with the whole process.
Take Care and i will kee you posted.
There are only so many times you can go on a rollercoaster before you get really sick and make the decision that you have had ENOUGH!... Well simply put... I HAVE HAD ENOUGH...
ENOUGH of blaming my self for every diet I have tried and failed
ENOUGH of feeling unattractive
ENOUGH of crying when people stare and talk
ENOUGH of Feeling ashamed of myself
ENOUGH of Hiding Food so people dont judge me when i eat
ENOUGH of justifying why I look the way I do
ENOUGH of peoples judgements
ENOUGH Tears,
ENOUGH Wasted moments, days, months and years of trying to solve this puzzle ...
I am starting this journey for the first time in YEARS... with HOPE and with a dream that I can FINALLY GET OFF this RollerCoaster and walk .. walk .. walk and feel the ground beneath my feet as it supports a balanced, Healthy and New ... Forever NEW ME
So .. To start off ..I just began researching WLS last week .. I just came to a realization that maybe, just maybe it's not my fault that I can't lose this weight and maybe I should consider WLS after all these years of truly suffering emotionally, physically and spiritually.
So I live in Ontario Canada and as most of you have heard the waiting lists are outrragous. something like 6-12 years.. it is unbelievable.. but true.
There are only 2 doctors who perform RNY (which is what i think i will chose at this point in time) in all of ONTARIO..
So i am looking into OCC with OHIP.. I need HELP.. If anyone knows anything or can give me any tips.. Plz plzzzzzzzzzzzzz advise..
I have some info .. but i need more .. I want to do it right the first time so i can minimize the waiting time.. cuz like everyone else on this webiste .. I wanted this surgery YESTERDAY. LAST YEAR, IN MY PAST LIFE.. CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT .. but you get what i mean!
I will keep you guys posted.. I have an apt with my MD this Thursday where i will break the news.. and see where it goes..
Wishing all of you courage, strength and happiness as you find you path to the balanced road!
May 25/2006
First.. I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who has been sending me info and helping me .. without you .. i would be lost .. so THANK YOU AGAIN..
I went to my Family Doctor today and I told about my decision to have surgery. She did not oppose or disagree with me although she said she has one patient who she met post-op who had many complications and she wants me to be aware of the risks. I told her that i have done my research and I am aware of all the risks and have accepted the reality and seriousness of the surgery. She said she would feel more comfortable if she would get a surgeon in the weightloss field to reveiw my file and recommend the surgery for me as well. She said she will sign it and send it to ohip but she wants me to see a surgeon first in the field. I told her that the RNY surgeons are very few and wait lists to see them for a consultation is 4-5 years. She said the surgeon doesnt have to be RNY specified just any surgeon in this field who can agree with this decision. WHY ME.. i thought .. but then i thought almost everything in my life comes with a bit of a struggle which makes me appreciate it more..
So Now i wait til my Dr's office calls me with an appt. I feel worried and a little down but I know I will push and push until this goes through.
MY Dr. Is fairly new .. so maybe she is scared to make a big decision on her own...
I will wait and hope for better news next week .. Until then .. smile cuz it is contagious hehehehe..
June 13, 2006
Sorry for not updating but I have been waiting for something good to happen and it has.... I faxed my OCC Form and all the paper work today to OHIP .. My Dr. still didnt want to check off the Death or permenant tissue damage on the form but she wrote an amazing letter of support to go along with the application and she included a whole bunch of medical reports and history. So i am hopeful that i am heading in the right direction. I would like to offically thank MELISSA W. for her continued support throughout this process. THANK YOU .. for Everything :)
And I called Barix and I tentatively booked my CONSULTATION for July 3rd since I will be off work .. due to the great CANADA DAY..
So i will keep you posted.. til then .. keep smiling.. :)
July 16, 2006
Well a lot has happened since i last updated and I am sorry for not updating but I work 2 jobs and I only have one day off per week where i can catch up with life. So, because my Dr didnt check off the Death/Permenant Tissue damage box, OHIP sent back the forms to my Dr's office 2 weeks from the day it was originally faxed. They said she needs to complete that section and refax the form. My Dr. wanted me to have a consult with a surgeon before she checks off those boxes. So my consult was scheduled for July 3 with Dr. POP. It was AMAZING. I was soooooooo impressed with Barix and Dr. POP..
I arrived early so that i would be first to see the Dr after the group consult cuz they base it on first come first see the Dr. after he does the group consultation. First of all i have to say .. I LOVED THE BIG CHAIRS.. I had just arrived from Toronto in a small Airplane and my thighs were killing from the arm rest digging in my thighs.. so those chairs ARE JUST BEAUTIFUL and i am so glad that someone was considerate enough to have larger than average chairs at this clinic.. which is HUGE.. it is a hospital of it's own.
The lady who took us to the consult room looked like she has never been a pound overweight in all her life.. to my surprise she was a former patient and she used to be 300 lbs.. I was floored.. this woman looked amazing.. so of course emotional me.. i started to cry cuz I just could not believe that I can one day look like that.. wow..
so Dr. Pop arrived a few moments later and he was so funny, sincere and informative. His presentation was EXCELLENT.. he stressed the fact that we really have to ask ourselves .. what in our lifes has made us gain this much weight.. he meant emotional/psychological issues that we have to learn to deal with from now on so that once we have the surgery we can continue to work on them and take the proper steps to healing our body and mind.. HE IS AMAZING.. my best friend came with me and she was soooooooo impressed with him and his depth of knowledge and his sense of humor..
So then after everyone asked their questions i was taken into a private room with a nurse to take my weight and my medical history.. Then i met Dr. Pop.. and he was so nice and funny.. and he asked me to lose 15 lbs and said as soon as i have my approval from OHIP.. we can set the surgery date.. I THINK I MUST HAVE JUMPED OUT OF MY SEAT once i heard him say that.. i was sooooooooooooooo happy and i asked him to send a letter to my dr. of my consult right away so that she can complete the form and send it to OHIP.
So I met with my family Dr. this week and i updated her and she was very impressed and actually excited and she said to me as soon as she gets the letter she will complete the form and fax it to Ohip... she said she just wanted to have a back up from a surgeon, which i understand since she has been practicing as a dr for less than 2 years.
So i called BARIX and advised them that my DR didnt receive the letter and they said they will fax it to her right away .. which they did and she will be faxing it tomorrow Monday July 17. So i know it is taking a while to get this paper work out but i am still very hopefull and i believe that everything happens for a reason.
So as soon as i get my approval .. I will update .. until then .. keep smiling.. :)
JULY 27, 2006
Hey everyone..
I had a feeling in my heart that something was going to happen today. I called my Dr's office and inquired if they had received anything from Ohip in regards to my approval. To my dissapointment.. the Nurse checked my file and said No, they had not received anything yet.
So later on in the day I checked my voice mail at home and I had a message from BARIX and it said .. WE HAVE RECEIVED YOUR APPROVAL FROM OHIP and you should expect a call from our scheduling department within 1-2 weeks.. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.. I can not belive this is happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was at work and I just felt so happy, I had to hold my tears back..
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HELPED ME and SUPPORTED ME and THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN SHARING THEIR EXPERIENCE THROUGH THIS FORUM .. because without everyone's info and updates.. I WOULD NOT HAVE FELT THE HAPPINESS I FEEL IN MY HEART TODAY AFTER A VERY LONG TIME...
THANK YOU
YASMIN
Sept 3, 2006
Hello Everyone…
I am sorry for not posting for a while but my life has taken a sad turn..
I was contacted by Barix on August 14 and advised of my surgery date which was September 21, 2006… My heart was pounding a mile a minute; I was soooooooooooo excited I started to cry at work at my desk… happy tears of course.
Exactly two days later my mom became very ill and was rushed to the hospital. My mom is 47 and she is a mother of 5. My youngest brother is 8 (he was a surprise she said)
My mom was sent for a whole bunch of tests and the diagnosis was not good.
We were told at the time that she has large masses growing on her ovaries and her uterus.
They said she needs to have surgery as soon as possible and they need to be removed.
We were all shocked because she never complained of pain or any major symptoms that might alert us to investigate further. We were told that the growths measure 7 cm and they are not sure if they are malignant but it is possible because the lymph nodes are also swollen/enlarged. We met with the surgeon at Princess Margaret Hospital and she explained to us the procedure of a full Hysterectomy. The next step was to book the surgery date, which happened to fall on Sept 18, 2006. She will need a minimum of 4-6 weeks of recovery time.
I contacted Barix and I requested to have my date changed and we agreed on October 26, 2006. I explained the situation to them and I advised them that based on my mom’s progress I may have to change again and they said they understand.
Since my mom was diagnosed I have been so worried about her that I cannot even think of my surgery or myself. I feel even more horrible because I have gained weight because I have been eating without thinking… the same cycle I have been trying to avoid all my life.
I don’t know how to get motivated about my procedure when my mom is so ill.
I am the only girl and I have four brothers, 3 of which are younger.
Everyday I say, tomorrow I will begin my healthy eating, but I can not seem to start and time is passing and I need to get motivated in my head and heart.
Sorry to share this depressing story but although I don’t know many of you, I feel like you are friends or angels who are always willing to help others and the only people who will understand my weakness.
Thanks for listening.
Yasmin
NOVEMBER 3, 2006
WEll, I DID IT!
I had my surgery on October 26, LAP!
I woke up feeling like anyone would after surgery but the next day I felt amazing UNTIL i had to do the LEAK TEST and HAD TO DRINK that NASTY liquid for the test.
So, ONce that went down, everything else came up!
The Doctor said, I have swelling in the area which is why I was bringing up old blood.
I got scared and panicked but the Doctor and nurses reassured me that is normal.
I definitly had nausea for the first 4-5 days and now I am feeling MUCH MUCH BETTER
I have a hard time with PROTEIN because i find it tastes chalky and i hate the foamy texture from the blender, so I will try to let it sit before i drink it.
I bought Isopure yesterday and I will try to driink that. Also my mom maid me lentil soup and strained it ... it tasted like heaven in my mouth because almost everything is sweet and i am starting to hate the thought of any sweet drink or dish.
Well, I want to send a BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE and especially Melissa W. who helped me with the whole process.
Take Care and i will kee you posted.
