Paula K.

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Just wondering if it worked.  It doesn't show for me.  I'll give it a couple of days...

As OH is being overrun by egotistical, crazy, psych-med needing infants (well, maybe just one!) I have decided to mooove my blog to a new site.  It is http://paulaseverydayramblings.blogspot.com and it is open for bizness!  Oh don't worry, I haven't been "run out of town".  I just can't stand blogging in two places, and blogspot is much more pretty and user friendly.

Don't forget to check out my friend Michelle's either at http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com - she's where I got my inspiration!

Toodles!
PK

And I'm feeling pretty good.  Tired, but good.  And my sleep pattern is waaaay off.  It all started with me staying up late one day after surgery to make sure I got all my vitamins in.  Now, I'm always up late, and sleeping in late.  It's a vicious cycle.  I'm not working right now, I'm on Social Security, so my days are not all planned out like they should be.  I did put off my Medical Transcription course the last 4 months, so I should get back into that.  In fact, my loving DH bought me a desk to go in the bedroom (which is shaped like a.. get this... crap-agon.  It's DH's word).  So I have this great workspace all set up, with computer w/internet access and printer - and a bookshelf for my school books.  It's really, really great, and was a very thoughtful thing for my DH to do.

I also downloaded a podcast for my iPod to start training for a 5k.  When I was almost at my heaviest I did a 10k, successfully, so I know that I can do a 5k.  Just have to get my energy level back up there.  It's pretty nil right now.

Oh, and weird things have been happening with my inlaws.  I don't know how to describe it.  MIL was very supportive of the surgery from the beginning, FIL - not so much.  But I think now that I've had it, they are coming around.  But they are treating my DH really weird.  From what we can gather, we think they are worried that I am going to try and talk my DH into having the surgery.  First off, let me see how I handle it before I pawn it off on someone else... and secondly - he really doesn't need it.  Sure he's a bit bigger than those so called "normal" guys, but it's only like 20-30 pounds.  He has always eaten healthier than me, really does not like fast food.  His problem is that he does not exercise.  But, he has a great workout room at work, and we talked about him starting to exercise there.  But anyway, weird.

I've had no complications since surgery.  No vomiting, no dumping related to food (I did dump on Gas-X.. sorbitol = EVIL) and other than just an overwhelming feeling of tiredness I'm great.  I know, I know.  I just had major surgery.  I'll get there.

The one thing that is really bumming me out right now is the fact that I have not really been able to see my friends since I got back from Wisconsin.  I miss you Becky!  I miss you Kim!  And there's really no OH based support group in South Orange County, or I think in Orange County at all.  There's the Long Beach coffee group (which rocks!) and the San Diego Lunch group (also on the rockin' side!).  But nothing more local.  I may have to be proactive and do something to change that.

Well, it's late - I have one pill left to go, so I should be asleep soon.  I miss all my OH friends.  I miss all my friends, period.  Sigh.  I'll update more later.  Cheers! 

So, I finally got a consultation date!  It took forever, considering I finished my Options class on October the 3rd!  Hopefully after the consultation the surgery date will come soon.  I am *almost* getting tired of the process, but not quite!!!

For now, I get to deal with having surgery on my foot on Feb 6th.  I had a lump on my foot that I found mid last year, and after seeing my PCP, podiatrist, having xrays and MRI's done, I got a call earlier this week from Kaiser saying "we are calling to schedule your foot surgery".  Dude, I thought they had forgotten about me!  Oh well.  The thursday before my surgery you can bet we are going to the store to make sure we are stocked up on everything.  I won't be able to drive right away, and we're kind of in the middle of nowhere.

And, Social Security approved me *sigh of relief*  Not for much, but enough per month where I'll be able to continue my intensive therapy for my Bipolar crap.

 That's all for now, now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Okay, so I finished my Options classes on Oct 3rd. Hooray!! I never thought I would make it all the way through the classes. Now my number one objective is to quit smoking so I can have the surgery.

A couple of days before my last Options class, I lost my job. I missed too many days due to illness (my bipolar, mainly). I have started having panic attacks again when put in any stressful situation. So, my doctor referred me to Kaiser's Intensive Outpatient Program and recommended that I apply for Social Security. Ooooooh goody. Now that was hell. Becky was talking about filling out the gaming commission's online application, and I feel for her after going through and filling out the two applications for Social Security. It took me forever. But that's done, and it only prompted a 10 minute visit to the Social Security office to drop off some documents and medical releases. They are really organized at the office by my apartment. I thought I was going to have to wait forever.

So, with my loss of work, I picked up an old hobby; an online game called EverQuest. I forgot how much fun, and addicting it can be! When you first log in, it gives you the option of a timer so you can set it for yourself and not spend too much time on the game. Of course, a couple of times during the day, when I'm home alone and playing, I've "snoozed" the timer LOL But it gives me something to do other than sitting at home, lamenting over everything that has happened.

Tomorrow night I am going to Poway to hang out with Becky. I swear, I do not know what I would do without that girl. She is my sanity right now outside of my husband. I hate putting all that pressure on her, but she can just deal with it!! =0)

Anyway, I'm going to go to bed. There's a hubby there asleep, and it would be just wonderful to cuddle up next to him and sleep. If I can get to sleep, that is. I'll update more as I know more about my surgery. Cheers!

So, over labor day weekend we went to the NASCAR races in Fontana. Friday afternoon, I started my period. Now I haven't had a period in 3 1/2 years, so I thought it was funny, (not funny ha ha, just, funny) but it wasn't so bad. Saturday it got worse - i started bleeding heavily and was dizzy so I talked to the medic who took me to see the dr at the in field care center (where the drivers go after they crash). The doc said "lets take a look at your vitals". My blood pressure was too low for their comfort, 80/50, so they started IV fluids and sent me to Kaiser Fontana ER via ambulance. The dr there gave me a pelvic exam, said everything looked fine, gave me more fluids and said that since I hadn't had a period in so long it was best to just let things "flow". No pun intended.

So they give me another litre of IV fluids and send me on my way, which ended up being back at the race track to see the Nationwide Series Race. It was cool! I felt much better after the fluids, although the cramping had begun. I worked Sunday am, and then went to the Cup race that afternoon/night. Jimmie Johnson won that race! But I digress.

The ER wanted me to follow up with my gyn dr, so I did that today. He did a pelvic exam, pap smear, and then decided to go all the way and do an endometrial (uterine) biopsy. HOLY FREAKIN CRAMPING BATMAN! My cervix wouldn't allow him to pass the pipette through, so he had to manually dilate it. OWIE! I had not felt that much pain since I was in labor 13 years ago!

We should know the results of the biopsy by Monday. I'm pretty nervous. So, we shall see.........

So I had my gallbladder surgery about 2 weeks ago, and my tummy has been a nonstop nuisance ever since. The only thing I am okay with is frosted mini wheat cereal and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I ventured out today to Shogun with my MIL and had some shrimp and a bite or two of fried rice, as well as the soup. It went down okay. Then I did the stupid thing and had ice cream at the MIL's and I have been trying to refrain from throwing up ever since.

I guess my tummy knows better than my head, huh?

Anyway, I start back to work tomorrow. Let's hope the pain I am having is managed well. Much love for you guys!

So my husband has been out of town all this week in Alabama training for work. It seems like he's gone more than he's home these days. Oh well, I have him until August, when he's going to Maryland for a week for session 3 of his 3 part training course with FEMA. It's good for him, and for his career, but I suffer some while he's gone. I can't sleep, I'm lonely... and I don't want to call him, because he's a few hours ahead of me here so it's like almost 3 in the morning there. He needs his sleep.

One thing that has been making it a little easier on me is my new job. It's in a call center, doing everything from being an answering service to taking orders for various companies. Tomorrow will finish week 1 of training, and next week I'll be with a one on one trainer instead of being with the other 2 trainees I've been with. I'm excited; I work really well in a call center environment - it's my ideal job. And there are opportunities to move up in the company some.

Tomorrow also brings me to week 11 of my Options class! Almost half way done. I can't believe it. Which reminds me of something funny that happened to me at work. One of the girls there said "hey, I know you!" and I thought she looked familiar, but having worked rides at Disneyland, everyone does! So we chatted for a minute and finally figured out where we knew each other from.... our OPTIONS class! Talk about small world... Anyway, last week I had lunch with Linda, a lady I met here on OH that is in the Options class with me too. We went to Red Lobster. I had the seafood stuffed Sole. Yummy!

I haven't been able to get down to San Diego lately, and with my crazy work schedule the next couple of weeks, I don't know the next time I'll be able to go. We won't get the new schedule for another week, so we'll see what my hours are like once they are posted.

One thing I am totally looking forward to is Labor Day weekend. My mom and step dad are flying out from Wisconsin to hang out and go to the NASCAR race at California Speedway in Fontana. We did it last year and had an AMAZING time. Granted, it was hot as a... well, it was just plain ole' scorching hot. But, this year we know better what we're in for, so we'll be able to prepare better.

Well, I think I'm actually getting a little sleepy, so I'm going to sign off and try to let my dreams take over. I hope you all are doing really well and are really, really happy. Good night!

So I'm sitting here at my dining room table (which finally got cleared off) working on my computer. I'm doing a side project which I am hoping will bring in some extra cash, but even if it does it won't be for 6-8 weeks. It's a lot of data entry and mail merging, but it'll be worth it if the money starts coming in like I'm hoping it will.

My bird is going NUTS right now... we have a goffin's cockatoo named Paco. He's probably around my age, but he's still a little 2 year old in spirit. They are supposed to live forever, it seems! I love my little guy but he's just so loud sometimes. It would be cool if he talked or coo'd or something, but nope. He just screams. And bites.

Tomorrow is Kaiser Options #5, then I'm on a plane to Texas to visit my brother until Monday for my birthday. Then my husband is out of town alllll next week at training in Maryland for work. It'll be a lonely week, so I know I'll be in San Diego visiting my bestest friend Becky!!! Hi Becky!!!

I can't wait until the end of the month; it's my MIL's birthday and my FIL got her a room at a beach hotel for a week. We go there every year and have steamed clams on the pier. It's AWESOME! Relaxing. If only I could drink, I would have a margarita or daqueri or something!

Anyway, back to work on my data entry. Just thought I'd write some thoughts down.

Well I haven't posted on here for a while, so I thought I'd update. This Friday brings me into week three of my Kaiser Options class. They have been very informative so far, but the whole having to track every single thing I eat for the next 6 months is going to be very hard on me. Part of the reason (okay ALL of the reason) I got to be as heavy as I am is because I'm an addict of fast food. Particularly McDonalds. I rarely eat regular meals unless it's with my husband, and he works late so we rarely eat together. Recording all this down in my food journal has made me so frightful of what I have been doing to my body! Yet at the same time it is an addiction and sooo hard to fight. I went grocery shopping last night so I have some real food in the house, I am going to try and not go out for the next few days.

Another one of my downfalls is my lack of exercise. I'm an agoraphobic of sorts - it was really bad in 2005 and has gotten better with therapy and medication. It came about when my very violent ex husband contacted me after almost 10 years of no contact (we have a daughter together, she lives in Massachusetts with her grandma). I was so scared to even leave the apartment to go to work. I ended up being off work for almost 2 years because of it. My only comfort was the drive to McDonalds and home. And it doesn't help that McD's is less than a mile away from my house.

I made a big improvement these past few months, though, when I started and finished school for medical assisting. Only problem is, when I got to the externship part of it, I started having panic attacks being around people on such a regular basis. I'm not a shut in, so to say. I love to go out with my husband and have recently attended some OH gatherings. Mostly with my husband by my side, but sometimes without. Anyway, I haven't worked in over a year now and it is so hard to get the courage to go back to it. I am very lucky that I have my husband, who's job is enough to pay MOST of the bills. Not all, though...

I have to thank my OH friends for all the support they have given me since I signed up here in February. They have been amazing, and of sorts, a life line to the outside world. I spend way to much time by myself and talking to people, even if online, helps.

That's all for my ranting for now. I'll update more after I've had a few more classes.