Jane M.
Plastic Update Part Duex
Dec 19, 2006
Ok, I'm about six weeks out now. Lower tummy looking fabulous. Only a little tightness on the right side and a strange burning and pulling feeling in my groin area. I'm not sure what that is sinceI was not cut there, proablly nerve endings. My incisions are healing very nicely. My PS did a bang-up job on the incisions, they are nice and straight. My cousins are nurses and say that they are beautiful compared to some that they have seen. So I consider myself blessed to have a very talented PS.
Well, now here's the bad part. My boobs are not doing so well. they look ok at certain angles but because of the lift, I'm pointy in the front and round at the sides. My nips hang too low. It will get fixed eventually, Just not now. I need to wait and see if they "fluff" (become fuller). So I'm looking at the six month mark which would make April. I'm probally gonna have to wait longer than that because of school, Europe Trip then my annual pilgrimage to Pennsylvania in July/August. Besides I just don't know how my body is gonna like all this trauma and anesthesia. 3 times in 6 months is too much. So far I'm handling everything quite well. I recover pretty fast from stuff. Always have. I think it's the Polish and German genes in my family. Tough women, we all are. I know the lift will have to be re-done. I think if the nips were brought up about an inch maybe slightly more and some more skin removed, I think they will be awesome. I look great in a bra though and it's nice wearing cami tops without everything flopping around! I knew it was a possibility to have a revision, I was just hoping I wouldn't, but I accept it. Hey when you used to have Socks with Rocks, anything is an improvement!
Now, I got my date for my Thigh and Buttock lift and upper TT revision. It's February 14th. Yep, Valentines' day. I guess my PS is my date (haha). At least it's not the 13th. Bad day for me. Not just the number. Joe died on the 13th. I just can't do it. That 13 was truly unlucky. So I've decided that I will never do anything important on a 13th if I can help it.
I pretty excited about this next surgery. I know it's a toughie but I think it's the one that's really gonna make a difference in how I feel about my body. I have much more skin to remove back there than with my TT. I truly carried most of my weight in my thighs and buttocks. Can you say Sharpei? As is in the wrinkled dog. Cause that's what they look like. I'm very much out of proportion now. I have a size 6 waist and a size 10 hip/thigh. I can't find jeans that fit me to save my life. I've started wearing skirts to solve this problem. Waist is often still too big, but I need the room in the thighs. I'll probally end up with a flat rear-end, but that's ok! I want flatter. I might actually be able to wear Levi's now. They are made for women with no buttocks. I've always watned to own a pair and now I might get the chance.
FYI: Since Plastics I went from a Size 10 dress to a 6!!! Holy cow!! I'll be wearing a sze 6 dress at the convention in Richmond, Look out world here I come!
Well, now here's the bad part. My boobs are not doing so well. they look ok at certain angles but because of the lift, I'm pointy in the front and round at the sides. My nips hang too low. It will get fixed eventually, Just not now. I need to wait and see if they "fluff" (become fuller). So I'm looking at the six month mark which would make April. I'm probally gonna have to wait longer than that because of school, Europe Trip then my annual pilgrimage to Pennsylvania in July/August. Besides I just don't know how my body is gonna like all this trauma and anesthesia. 3 times in 6 months is too much. So far I'm handling everything quite well. I recover pretty fast from stuff. Always have. I think it's the Polish and German genes in my family. Tough women, we all are. I know the lift will have to be re-done. I think if the nips were brought up about an inch maybe slightly more and some more skin removed, I think they will be awesome. I look great in a bra though and it's nice wearing cami tops without everything flopping around! I knew it was a possibility to have a revision, I was just hoping I wouldn't, but I accept it. Hey when you used to have Socks with Rocks, anything is an improvement!
Now, I got my date for my Thigh and Buttock lift and upper TT revision. It's February 14th. Yep, Valentines' day. I guess my PS is my date (haha). At least it's not the 13th. Bad day for me. Not just the number. Joe died on the 13th. I just can't do it. That 13 was truly unlucky. So I've decided that I will never do anything important on a 13th if I can help it.
I pretty excited about this next surgery. I know it's a toughie but I think it's the one that's really gonna make a difference in how I feel about my body. I have much more skin to remove back there than with my TT. I truly carried most of my weight in my thighs and buttocks. Can you say Sharpei? As is in the wrinkled dog. Cause that's what they look like. I'm very much out of proportion now. I have a size 6 waist and a size 10 hip/thigh. I can't find jeans that fit me to save my life. I've started wearing skirts to solve this problem. Waist is often still too big, but I need the room in the thighs. I'll probally end up with a flat rear-end, but that's ok! I want flatter. I might actually be able to wear Levi's now. They are made for women with no buttocks. I've always watned to own a pair and now I might get the chance.
FYI: Since Plastics I went from a Size 10 dress to a 6!!! Holy cow!! I'll be wearing a sze 6 dress at the convention in Richmond, Look out world here I come!
Still loosing...Not a Bad Thing!
Dec 15, 2006
I got on the scale this morning, read 152 and then had to get off and back on again because I didn't believe it! Wow, my BMI is 24.5 now at one time it was 52.9. I'm now more than half the person I once was. That's incredible, unfathomable to me. My goal is 148. I think that it would be a good weight for me. My doc originally had 138. I don't think I can attain that without starving myself. I still like to eat, so that's not gonna happen!
I've really stayed on track for the last 6 weeks. I'm drinking protein shakes again which I think has made a huge difference. Being further out, it's still tough to loose but easier than it was when I was over 300 pounds. I'm averaging 1-2 pounds a week which I think is pretty healthy. My goal is not to get that "gaunt" look. I also would like to get as much off as I can before my next round of plastics. If he's gonna do any revision work, it will make it better. I'm sure with the way my body is, I'll probally gain a little back in the future. I'm ok with that, as long as I stay under 160. 165 will now be my freak-out weight.
So what's a Feak-Out weight? I weight where you know that if you ever get back up to, it's time to freak and get back down to business. Everyone should have one. It's like checks and balances. I gain very easy, always have. I can look at a cheesecake and gain 3 poounds. It's just how I've always been. I'll never be one of those patients that struggle to put weight back on. Yes, there are some people out there that have this problem. I have to be super careful with carbs. Having PCOS makes me gain very easily when the "carb-monster" rears it's ugly head. Right now, I'm back into ketosis and I'm thrilled about it. I pretty much gave up on loosing anymore. I was stuck in the 160's for so long. So, how am I loosing again? Well, it's simple.
I re-assessed what I was eating. I was not eating near enough protein. I thought I was, but after doing fit-day again for a couple of weeks, I realized that I was only getting about 40 grams a day. My carbs where about 50 a day. Well, no wonder! So I'm drinking shakes, eating alot of shrimp, cheese, sausage, soy chips for the crunchies and getting 120 grams a day of protein. I've limited my carb intake to 40 a day but they are good carbs like multi-grain, whole-grain, veggies and the like. No white food, though I did enjoy a chocolate chip cookie the other day. I still endulge once in awhile. I mean, this surgery should not be a punishment. It's about self-control. I can have "just one" now. I love it. For the first time in my life I'm in charge, not my stomach, not my cravings, but me.
I've really stayed on track for the last 6 weeks. I'm drinking protein shakes again which I think has made a huge difference. Being further out, it's still tough to loose but easier than it was when I was over 300 pounds. I'm averaging 1-2 pounds a week which I think is pretty healthy. My goal is not to get that "gaunt" look. I also would like to get as much off as I can before my next round of plastics. If he's gonna do any revision work, it will make it better. I'm sure with the way my body is, I'll probally gain a little back in the future. I'm ok with that, as long as I stay under 160. 165 will now be my freak-out weight.
So what's a Feak-Out weight? I weight where you know that if you ever get back up to, it's time to freak and get back down to business. Everyone should have one. It's like checks and balances. I gain very easy, always have. I can look at a cheesecake and gain 3 poounds. It's just how I've always been. I'll never be one of those patients that struggle to put weight back on. Yes, there are some people out there that have this problem. I have to be super careful with carbs. Having PCOS makes me gain very easily when the "carb-monster" rears it's ugly head. Right now, I'm back into ketosis and I'm thrilled about it. I pretty much gave up on loosing anymore. I was stuck in the 160's for so long. So, how am I loosing again? Well, it's simple.
I re-assessed what I was eating. I was not eating near enough protein. I thought I was, but after doing fit-day again for a couple of weeks, I realized that I was only getting about 40 grams a day. My carbs where about 50 a day. Well, no wonder! So I'm drinking shakes, eating alot of shrimp, cheese, sausage, soy chips for the crunchies and getting 120 grams a day of protein. I've limited my carb intake to 40 a day but they are good carbs like multi-grain, whole-grain, veggies and the like. No white food, though I did enjoy a chocolate chip cookie the other day. I still endulge once in awhile. I mean, this surgery should not be a punishment. It's about self-control. I can have "just one" now. I love it. For the first time in my life I'm in charge, not my stomach, not my cravings, but me.
The Holidays-I'm Getting Serious on You Today
Dec 14, 2006
I usually love Christmas. It's my favorite time of the year. This year is very different. I've lost that Christmas Spirit. I'm trying to make a nice Christmas for my son because it's his first one without his daddy. He misses him so much it just breaks my heart to see him so sad. I don't really know what to say to him sometimes. I've had a bad week, I've been thinking about how much Dylan has grown since his daddy died in July. He shot up 3 inches and 15 pounds, he's getting so big. It's just not right to have to loose your dad at such a young age. He has no father figure in his life at all. No men that are around to wrestle with and do man-like things with. I'm kinda girly, so this is a tough one for me. Joe was the playmate, I was the nuturing mother. I don't know how to be both. I've probally cried more in the last week then I have since this summer. I guess the true lonelinessand the reality of my new life is finally settling in.
Now, I have to start thinking about things that I don't want to. Making a will, figuring out who would get custody, if god forbid something should happen to me. I have to do it before my surgery in February. This one scares me. It's gonna take longer and it's a little more dangerous when it comes to blood loss. It really concerns me. I think after this surgery and if I need a revision on my breasts, I'm not doing anymore. I know I'll need an inner thigh lift and an armlift, but I may put it off for awhile, a long while. It scares Dylan, I don't blame him. I sometimes feel selfish that I'm having all these plastics. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I'm not the best mom in the world, but I try very hard to give him everything he needs. the one thing I can't give him is a dad. Maybe in the future. Who knows what it holds fo me. I feel like I'm in limbo. It's a crossroads for me. I just have to figure out which way to go.
So this holiday, if you are estranged from a family member, it's time to take the initiative and patch things up. Life is very short. We never know when someone is going to leave this plane of existance. Say the things that need to be said, do the things that need to be done and don't put things off til' another day. That day may never come. Tell your family you love them everyday.
Now, I have to start thinking about things that I don't want to. Making a will, figuring out who would get custody, if god forbid something should happen to me. I have to do it before my surgery in February. This one scares me. It's gonna take longer and it's a little more dangerous when it comes to blood loss. It really concerns me. I think after this surgery and if I need a revision on my breasts, I'm not doing anymore. I know I'll need an inner thigh lift and an armlift, but I may put it off for awhile, a long while. It scares Dylan, I don't blame him. I sometimes feel selfish that I'm having all these plastics. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I'm not the best mom in the world, but I try very hard to give him everything he needs. the one thing I can't give him is a dad. Maybe in the future. Who knows what it holds fo me. I feel like I'm in limbo. It's a crossroads for me. I just have to figure out which way to go.
So this holiday, if you are estranged from a family member, it's time to take the initiative and patch things up. Life is very short. We never know when someone is going to leave this plane of existance. Say the things that need to be said, do the things that need to be done and don't put things off til' another day. That day may never come. Tell your family you love them everyday.
Sprouted some new hair!
Dec 10, 2006
I was one of the unlucky ones to loose about 1/3 of my hair. It's very fine and thin now. I use every thickening agent I can find to make it look like I have alot of hair. But it's an illusion. I use Nick Chavez plump and thick for those who are interested...but Recently a month ago, I started this new vitamin routine. I was really desperate to find a way to not only bring my hair back but to help me with my dry, peeling and brittle nails. Now, I was already taking pre-natals, didn't do it. But still good for my labwork. Take flaxseed oil or eat ground flax regularly, still no hair.
Needless to say, I pretty much had given up on my hair and nails. It has gone through 3 different stages of falling out, depite the fact that I get at least 80 grams of protein a day. So the whole lack of protein idea, I believe is not true. I often exceed 80 grams, so I certain that was not an issue with me.
So here's what I did. I took a final chance on a product called Healthy Hair, Skin and Nails from ProCaps Laboratories (Also known as Andrew Lessman Vitamins on HSN). they were very expensive, but since I bought them when they had an extended return period. I had til mid-january to try them and return them if they didn't work. So I took a chance. HOLY CRAP BATMAN! They work! Yes, expensive but I guess you get what you pay for. I have new hair sprouting and my nails are long and pretty and I actually had to cut them!They usually just break and peel, so that's a rare thing for me to have to do!
So what's in it? Well, I'm taking 3 a day (It says 2, but with the absorbtion thing, I'm throwing in an extra dose). It has VitA,C, D, B1, B2, Niacin, B-6, Folic acid, Biotin(w/3 I get 3.5 mg or 4500mcg), Pantothenic Acid, Calcium, Coenzyme Q-10, MSM, Silicon. All Either exceed or meet the daily requirements.
No fillers, additives, not preservatives, no dyes or flavorings. In capsule form and easy to dissolve, especially if you take them with a warm drink like coffee or tea.
So I take that n, no-flush niacin, Pre-natals, Vit C chewables, Iron Bisglycinate, Calcium Chewables, Vitamin E (For my recent breast surgery) and B-12 shots.
I take the same stuff in the morning, calcium in the late moning and afternnon and another round of my morning pills before bed. Since doing this I have seen a dramatic increase in hair groth, my scars from surgery are healing very well and my nails are growing like crazy. I'm so thrilled. I really want my hair to be long again. As soon as I have 4-5 inches of total growth I'm getting long extensions (The gentle human hair kind, not gluesd in or put in w/chemicals). The extensions will lengthen and thicken my hair and I can safely grown out my hair underneath. It's something I've been thiking about for a long time amd I'm gonna go for it after the new year. I found a place in va Beach that works with people who have lost their hair. they can help me! Yeah. I'm thrilled. Mine will be permanent (1-2 years). I have to go in every couple of months to have them looked at and tighten and freshened up, but so worth it if I can have beautiful hair again.
Needless to say, I pretty much had given up on my hair and nails. It has gone through 3 different stages of falling out, depite the fact that I get at least 80 grams of protein a day. So the whole lack of protein idea, I believe is not true. I often exceed 80 grams, so I certain that was not an issue with me.
So here's what I did. I took a final chance on a product called Healthy Hair, Skin and Nails from ProCaps Laboratories (Also known as Andrew Lessman Vitamins on HSN). they were very expensive, but since I bought them when they had an extended return period. I had til mid-january to try them and return them if they didn't work. So I took a chance. HOLY CRAP BATMAN! They work! Yes, expensive but I guess you get what you pay for. I have new hair sprouting and my nails are long and pretty and I actually had to cut them!They usually just break and peel, so that's a rare thing for me to have to do!
So what's in it? Well, I'm taking 3 a day (It says 2, but with the absorbtion thing, I'm throwing in an extra dose). It has VitA,C, D, B1, B2, Niacin, B-6, Folic acid, Biotin(w/3 I get 3.5 mg or 4500mcg), Pantothenic Acid, Calcium, Coenzyme Q-10, MSM, Silicon. All Either exceed or meet the daily requirements.
No fillers, additives, not preservatives, no dyes or flavorings. In capsule form and easy to dissolve, especially if you take them with a warm drink like coffee or tea.
So I take that n, no-flush niacin, Pre-natals, Vit C chewables, Iron Bisglycinate, Calcium Chewables, Vitamin E (For my recent breast surgery) and B-12 shots.
I take the same stuff in the morning, calcium in the late moning and afternnon and another round of my morning pills before bed. Since doing this I have seen a dramatic increase in hair groth, my scars from surgery are healing very well and my nails are growing like crazy. I'm so thrilled. I really want my hair to be long again. As soon as I have 4-5 inches of total growth I'm getting long extensions (The gentle human hair kind, not gluesd in or put in w/chemicals). The extensions will lengthen and thicken my hair and I can safely grown out my hair underneath. It's something I've been thiking about for a long time amd I'm gonna go for it after the new year. I found a place in va Beach that works with people who have lost their hair. they can help me! Yeah. I'm thrilled. Mine will be permanent (1-2 years). I have to go in every couple of months to have them looked at and tighten and freshened up, but so worth it if I can have beautiful hair again.
So your Thinking about Plastic Surgery?
Dec 05, 2006
Well, I'm a month post-op from my first round of plastic surgery and I'm doing very well. I'm healing good. Still have some soreness and the tummy is tight and numb in spots. I'm very pleased with it though and the scar is fading already. My breasts are still a little wonky and my PS and I had a long discussion about my future plastics. He likes where the implants are now. He hopes that they don't fall further and that the nipples will start rising up to their correct placement. One aerola is bigger than the other one. It's noticable to me and he will correct that at a later time. We are taking a wait and see attitude on the the breasts. He said mine were difficult because they sagged so badly, so I kinda expected this. But they change on a daily basis, so we will see if they correct themselves.
My lower Trunk lift (Outer thighs and buttocks) along with a skin excision on my upper tummy is going to be February 27th. I'm truly scared of this one. The horror stories of poor healing and infections and blood loss are frightening. I am going for a hospital stay this time. My PS will do it in his surgical suite but prefers not to. It's actually pretty extensive and dangerous surgery, especially for gastric bypass patients. It's also more money. About $2500 grand more. But includes an overnight hospital stay and now he can do lipo to even out my fat deposits which excites me. I have some severe lumpy spots on the back of my thighs.
We are going to wait on inner thighs. By doing the outer thighs and buttocks first, we can get a much better result and I may be able to do just the groin incision instead of a medial thigh lift with the scar running down my leg. He expects to remove about 6-8 pounds of skin and tissue from my backside and legs. I keep telling people that's where I carried all my weight and they don't believe me! I was all butt! I'm gonna be flat butted after this and guess what, I want a flat ass! I had a "shelf butt" for so long, I'll take no ass, over a huge ass anyday.
think "sharpei", enough said.
For those wondering why I'm not doing my inner thighs at same time. He won't do outer and inner at same time because of the pulling and possible necrosis. I've seen pictures, it's not pretty. Our skin tends to die rather easy because iits of poor quality. WE DON'T WANT THAT! When I see people get 5 or 6 procedures at the same time and pissed off because their results are poor, I say to them that the body is not meant to handle that kind of trauma and stress. It's dangerous to do. I know some people want all the pain over with at once, but it's atrade off pain vs. good results. some people are lucky and never need a revision. But statistically the odds are against us. Breast surgery has a 50% revisional rate. thigh surgery has almost a 70% revisional rate among GB /Weightloss patients. Now that's high!
So, if your thinking about plastics. You need to realize that revisions are a huge possibility. Our skin elasticity is very poor to begin with. We are more apt to have necrosis and blood supply problems. We also heal slower and iron problems can greatly effect your healing. I know the next three years of my life is going to dedicated to plastics. I knew that going into this. Once you go in your "opening up a can of worms". I'm prepared though, I am ready!
My lower Trunk lift (Outer thighs and buttocks) along with a skin excision on my upper tummy is going to be February 27th. I'm truly scared of this one. The horror stories of poor healing and infections and blood loss are frightening. I am going for a hospital stay this time. My PS will do it in his surgical suite but prefers not to. It's actually pretty extensive and dangerous surgery, especially for gastric bypass patients. It's also more money. About $2500 grand more. But includes an overnight hospital stay and now he can do lipo to even out my fat deposits which excites me. I have some severe lumpy spots on the back of my thighs.
We are going to wait on inner thighs. By doing the outer thighs and buttocks first, we can get a much better result and I may be able to do just the groin incision instead of a medial thigh lift with the scar running down my leg. He expects to remove about 6-8 pounds of skin and tissue from my backside and legs. I keep telling people that's where I carried all my weight and they don't believe me! I was all butt! I'm gonna be flat butted after this and guess what, I want a flat ass! I had a "shelf butt" for so long, I'll take no ass, over a huge ass anyday.
think "sharpei", enough said.
For those wondering why I'm not doing my inner thighs at same time. He won't do outer and inner at same time because of the pulling and possible necrosis. I've seen pictures, it's not pretty. Our skin tends to die rather easy because iits of poor quality. WE DON'T WANT THAT! When I see people get 5 or 6 procedures at the same time and pissed off because their results are poor, I say to them that the body is not meant to handle that kind of trauma and stress. It's dangerous to do. I know some people want all the pain over with at once, but it's atrade off pain vs. good results. some people are lucky and never need a revision. But statistically the odds are against us. Breast surgery has a 50% revisional rate. thigh surgery has almost a 70% revisional rate among GB /Weightloss patients. Now that's high!
So, if your thinking about plastics. You need to realize that revisions are a huge possibility. Our skin elasticity is very poor to begin with. We are more apt to have necrosis and blood supply problems. We also heal slower and iron problems can greatly effect your healing. I know the next three years of my life is going to dedicated to plastics. I knew that going into this. Once you go in your "opening up a can of worms". I'm prepared though, I am ready!
How Easy it Is to Forget!
Dec 04, 2006
Wow, I came across a picture of me when I was at my absolute highest Weight. I believe I was about 328 pounds. I could have been more but that's what I remember. Wow, is it easy to forget sometimes just how much extra baggage we carried around. I cringe whenever I see fat pics of myself. I was so sick and tired. I couldn't breathe. I was smothering under all that excess weight. My joints ached constantly, I was on 10 different meds, I had extremely high blood pressure, I was borderline diabetic here (I had diabetes before surgery). Generally I was an unhappy, unhealthy, depressed individual with no self-esteem to speak of.
My life has made a 180 degree change. Sure, I still get depressed and often doubt myself, but nothing like before. I was basically a recluse. Now I go out and enjoy what the world has to offer. Despite all the shitty things that have happened to me Since 2004, I'm in a better place. Those experiences and the person I once was, has shaped who I am. Has made me strong. I am a true survivor in every sense of the world. I have been to battle and though I did not come out unijured, I am home again.
So Here's aside by side perspective.
Before 328 Pounds (3x, size 26 pant), After 155 pounds (Small Tops, Size 10 Hip Huggers!), 1 month Post-op TT/BA/BL
My life has made a 180 degree change. Sure, I still get depressed and often doubt myself, but nothing like before. I was basically a recluse. Now I go out and enjoy what the world has to offer. Despite all the shitty things that have happened to me Since 2004, I'm in a better place. Those experiences and the person I once was, has shaped who I am. Has made me strong. I am a true survivor in every sense of the world. I have been to battle and though I did not come out unijured, I am home again.
So Here's aside by side perspective.
Before 328 Pounds (3x, size 26 pant), After 155 pounds (Small Tops, Size 10 Hip Huggers!), 1 month Post-op TT/BA/BL
Gobble, Gobble!
Nov 23, 2006
Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving. Tough when your a GB patient isn't it? It gets easier though. I eat a little bit of this and that, the thing is, I'm really watching what I'm eating right now.I'm 2 pounds from goal weight and dammit, I'm gonna make it. I'm still swollen from surgery and I'm wearing a compression garment that could literally squeeze blood from a turnip! So it's actually helping me suppress my appetite. Should of starting wearing these things when I was loosing weight. It would have helped.
Well, this is my first major Holiday without Joe here. I'm very sad. There is such an empty void in my life that I'm not sure could ever be filled again. He was one of my best friends, so supportive of me. Somedays I can get along fine, I try not to think of him but it's days like this that really hurt. He should be here. I still blame the first hospital I took him to for his death. I have a pending lawsuit, but since the second hospital screwed up and didn't do the autopsy, like I requested, I may never see a penny. It's not even really about the money. It's about blame in a death that should have never happened. People his age don't just die from Legionella. Now because of the screw up, I'll never know if something else was wrong with him that we didn't know about.
I'm angry, I'm sad and mostly I'm lonely. Some things I just can't talk about with mom and I really don't have anyone else. I shield her from alotthe crappy stuff because she is already dealing with her cancer being back. I don't know how long she is going to be around. Loosing her, will be the nail in the coffin. It will be just me and Dylan from here on out. My brother has his own life, he hardly comes around. I'll probally move away from here, make a life for myself somewhere where the memories are not so strong. I don't know anymore. I hate the cold weather, so moving the Mass (which was my plan) doesn't sound like such a good idea. It's something I have to seriously reconsider.
Well, enough of the depression talk. I'm seriously looking into owning my own business. Looking at different franchises right now, maybe I'll open my own Health food store. One that caters to diets, WLS, Surgical healing supplies, plastic surgery compression garments, herbals and supplements. Healing stuff! Maybe have a little low/fat/low sugar cafe and serve protein smoothies and wraps. It's an idea I've been kicking around. There's a market for it down here. Most people have to order their stuff through the internet. I've got a built in clientele with all the support groups I know around here. I just need to take some business courses to help me out. I know I have a head for it. I'm a Taurus and two things we are good at is making money and nuturing other people. Now I can do both. Besides, I can be my own boss, which is what I want anyway. I have the capital if I need it. But starting a business is very tough, I can't piss away my savings. Right now a portion of it is slotted for reconstructive surgery. I've already sepnt about $17K on that with more to go. I think it is worth it though. But if you have read all my recent blogs, you already know that's how I feel.
Well, have a Happy Turkey Day!
P.S. Stay away from the pie and no one will get hurt!
Well, this is my first major Holiday without Joe here. I'm very sad. There is such an empty void in my life that I'm not sure could ever be filled again. He was one of my best friends, so supportive of me. Somedays I can get along fine, I try not to think of him but it's days like this that really hurt. He should be here. I still blame the first hospital I took him to for his death. I have a pending lawsuit, but since the second hospital screwed up and didn't do the autopsy, like I requested, I may never see a penny. It's not even really about the money. It's about blame in a death that should have never happened. People his age don't just die from Legionella. Now because of the screw up, I'll never know if something else was wrong with him that we didn't know about.
I'm angry, I'm sad and mostly I'm lonely. Some things I just can't talk about with mom and I really don't have anyone else. I shield her from alotthe crappy stuff because she is already dealing with her cancer being back. I don't know how long she is going to be around. Loosing her, will be the nail in the coffin. It will be just me and Dylan from here on out. My brother has his own life, he hardly comes around. I'll probally move away from here, make a life for myself somewhere where the memories are not so strong. I don't know anymore. I hate the cold weather, so moving the Mass (which was my plan) doesn't sound like such a good idea. It's something I have to seriously reconsider.
Well, enough of the depression talk. I'm seriously looking into owning my own business. Looking at different franchises right now, maybe I'll open my own Health food store. One that caters to diets, WLS, Surgical healing supplies, plastic surgery compression garments, herbals and supplements. Healing stuff! Maybe have a little low/fat/low sugar cafe and serve protein smoothies and wraps. It's an idea I've been kicking around. There's a market for it down here. Most people have to order their stuff through the internet. I've got a built in clientele with all the support groups I know around here. I just need to take some business courses to help me out. I know I have a head for it. I'm a Taurus and two things we are good at is making money and nuturing other people. Now I can do both. Besides, I can be my own boss, which is what I want anyway. I have the capital if I need it. But starting a business is very tough, I can't piss away my savings. Right now a portion of it is slotted for reconstructive surgery. I've already sepnt about $17K on that with more to go. I think it is worth it though. But if you have read all my recent blogs, you already know that's how I feel.
Well, have a Happy Turkey Day!
P.S. Stay away from the pie and no one will get hurt!
I am a Work In Progress
Nov 21, 2006
Had my 2 week follow-up with Dr. Z. And he completely agrees with me, that the top of my tummy needs fixing. He doesn't like the way it looks either. He's a perfectionist too, now I know why I like him so much! He's an awesome surgeon. You see people, I'm not crazy nor am I asking too much from my TT. He will fix it when we do my thigh/Buttock lift .
Thighs bleed alot, so I'm going to fork over the extra for the hospital. I'll need at least a 23 hour stay and have to hire a home health aide to come in and help me. It's gonna cost me more than I expected, but I've decided to cash in some stocks and bonds that Joe left me that I didn't even know about. It's funny because it's almost the exact amount I need to get everything done. I'm looking at spending around 25-30K when all is said and done. Im nuts, out of my mind. That's like what I make in a whole year, but I'm doing it because I have to finish becoming the person I know I'm meant to be. I know I will never be happy with all this hanging skin. I can live with stretch marks and scars. I don't give a shit about those. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin, shed the remaining part of me that is left from being obese. My scars will be my badge of honor. Though they may be numerous and ugly, I will wear them with pride.
I should mention that my doc told me it is rare for someone to come to him and tell him that they want to fix everything. I'm his "work in Progress". I also saw a pic of all the skin and tissue that they removed. Yuck! Talk about gross. But goodness the before pictures are even scarier!
P.S. For those who asked my implants are Saline 350 cc filled to 400 cc Mentor Moderate Profiles. I kinda wished I paid for silicone, but for me there is too many unknowns even though the FDA is allowing their use again. I may switch out the implants in the future when the cohesive gels or the soy filled ones are approved.The soy filled ones, are more up my alley. I ate too much granola when I was a kid, yep I'm kinda a hippie,
Thighs bleed alot, so I'm going to fork over the extra for the hospital. I'll need at least a 23 hour stay and have to hire a home health aide to come in and help me. It's gonna cost me more than I expected, but I've decided to cash in some stocks and bonds that Joe left me that I didn't even know about. It's funny because it's almost the exact amount I need to get everything done. I'm looking at spending around 25-30K when all is said and done. Im nuts, out of my mind. That's like what I make in a whole year, but I'm doing it because I have to finish becoming the person I know I'm meant to be. I know I will never be happy with all this hanging skin. I can live with stretch marks and scars. I don't give a shit about those. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin, shed the remaining part of me that is left from being obese. My scars will be my badge of honor. Though they may be numerous and ugly, I will wear them with pride.
I should mention that my doc told me it is rare for someone to come to him and tell him that they want to fix everything. I'm his "work in Progress". I also saw a pic of all the skin and tissue that they removed. Yuck! Talk about gross. But goodness the before pictures are even scarier!
P.S. For those who asked my implants are Saline 350 cc filled to 400 cc Mentor Moderate Profiles. I kinda wished I paid for silicone, but for me there is too many unknowns even though the FDA is allowing their use again. I may switch out the implants in the future when the cohesive gels or the soy filled ones are approved.The soy filled ones, are more up my alley. I ate too much granola when I was a kid, yep I'm kinda a hippie,
Cancer is Back
Nov 20, 2006
My mom's cancer has come back on her. The lymph nodes near her spinal cord and in her lungs have increased in size. We have been suspecting that it was back for awhile now. Her back has been hurting her and even though she has stuck to her new weightloss diet she has not lost any weight. Both signs that it's back. She goes back on chemo next week. We are consulting with Duke University again as well as the National Institutes of Health on advice for chemo drugs. The last drugs were strong but these lymph nodes may be resistant to those particular drugs. It's such a hard cancer to treat. Very rare (Paraganglioma Adrenal Cancer). She will never get rid of it. She can go into remission, but we know it will kill her.
I feel like I must have been a bad person in a former life. I seem to have bad Karma follow me around. I just can't take another death. My mom is my best friend and has really been there for me. I mean it's only been four months since Joe died and December 1st is the first anniversary of my Dad's death. My family is shrinking before my eyes. When they say that life isn't fair, they were not kidding. this family has a black cloud hanging over it and I want it gone. I've decided that praying has not done me any good. I've prayed so hard, I think my head is going to explode, so I've decided to seek answers through other means. I'm seeing a well known medium next month while in NYC. She very well known and has agreed to see me despite a 3 year waiting list. I guess my tragic story struck a chord in her. I prefer not to say who I'm seeing because I know that there are people who may think she's a fake. Bu let's say that she's on TV alot. I haven't even told my mom yet that I'm seeing her. She doesn't believe it. I got to find answers. I've become obessesed with it. I'm trying to go to a John Edwards seminar in hopes that Joe or my dad will come through for me. Help me explain what the hell the universe is doing to my family. Poor Dylan has been crying alot about missing his dad. Me too. I miss him, I miss having someone to share my life with. Nights are lonely. The holidays are going to be tough for a third year in a row. I'm so ready for good news and happiness. I'm ready for some good karma to come into my life. If you have any, send it my way!
I feel like I must have been a bad person in a former life. I seem to have bad Karma follow me around. I just can't take another death. My mom is my best friend and has really been there for me. I mean it's only been four months since Joe died and December 1st is the first anniversary of my Dad's death. My family is shrinking before my eyes. When they say that life isn't fair, they were not kidding. this family has a black cloud hanging over it and I want it gone. I've decided that praying has not done me any good. I've prayed so hard, I think my head is going to explode, so I've decided to seek answers through other means. I'm seeing a well known medium next month while in NYC. She very well known and has agreed to see me despite a 3 year waiting list. I guess my tragic story struck a chord in her. I prefer not to say who I'm seeing because I know that there are people who may think she's a fake. Bu let's say that she's on TV alot. I haven't even told my mom yet that I'm seeing her. She doesn't believe it. I got to find answers. I've become obessesed with it. I'm trying to go to a John Edwards seminar in hopes that Joe or my dad will come through for me. Help me explain what the hell the universe is doing to my family. Poor Dylan has been crying alot about missing his dad. Me too. I miss him, I miss having someone to share my life with. Nights are lonely. The holidays are going to be tough for a third year in a row. I'm so ready for good news and happiness. I'm ready for some good karma to come into my life. If you have any, send it my way!
Follow Up Appointment Was today
Nov 14, 2006
I'm sorry If I scared some folks yesterday. I think I was having a serious "Woe is Me" day. I'm still not happy with the size I am right now but I hope that it will improve in a couple of weeks.
I hadmy follow up appointment today. I explained to my surgeon how unhappy I was with the size. He told me that I was significantly swelled up and that when the swelling went down and my implants drop, I will be a "D" cup. He also said that I was not used to seeing myself with such a tiny waist and really huge chest and that it will take sometime getting used to.
The technique he used in my Breast Lift has made my breasts look like Topedos. He pulls the skin very tight and turns a flap of skin over and makes an anchor under your breasts. Since gastric bypass patients Have Poor Skin Integrity, meaning our skin is very damaged, stretched out and has poor elasticity, he pulls the skin tighter than normal with the anchor, so that when our skin stretches out again (He's says that in 99.9% of GB patients this happens), he will not have to do a revision. Everything will eventually fall into place. Please god I hope he's right.
It takes time, there is a magic 3 month time window. If I am not satisified by then, then I will have something done about it. In the mean time I have a closet full of Small and Medium tops that are no longer going to fit and it's quite depressing. I really did not ever want to see the word large again. It sucks.
I pretty happy with my tummy. He took one drain out and left one in until next week. There is some loose skin at the top. He couldn't get it all because the incisions would have pulled on my breast incicions, too much pulling going on and could cause difficulties in healing in both areas. He make tighten it when I have my buttock/thigh lift since it's just skin and not muscle. My belly button is more shallow than he likes to see. Looks like I'll be getting a naval ring to make it look like anything and to cover it up.
So, I'm still nervous about how I'm gonna look. I'm going to trust him. He has done a lot of GB patients and These are the techniques he uses on them. People I spoke to as references loved him and said he's top notch. So I'm gonna play the wait and see game.
Word of advice:
Please ladies when you go in and try on implants. Bring the bra that you want to fit into and use that as your reference. Don't use their bras (they are usually all stretched out.) Remember it's better to go too small than too big because you can always go bigger later. When you go really big, right off the bat, they have to make a deeper chest pocket. If you downsize later on, you'll need another lift because you have a huge pocket in your chest. .
I hadmy follow up appointment today. I explained to my surgeon how unhappy I was with the size. He told me that I was significantly swelled up and that when the swelling went down and my implants drop, I will be a "D" cup. He also said that I was not used to seeing myself with such a tiny waist and really huge chest and that it will take sometime getting used to.
The technique he used in my Breast Lift has made my breasts look like Topedos. He pulls the skin very tight and turns a flap of skin over and makes an anchor under your breasts. Since gastric bypass patients Have Poor Skin Integrity, meaning our skin is very damaged, stretched out and has poor elasticity, he pulls the skin tighter than normal with the anchor, so that when our skin stretches out again (He's says that in 99.9% of GB patients this happens), he will not have to do a revision. Everything will eventually fall into place. Please god I hope he's right.
It takes time, there is a magic 3 month time window. If I am not satisified by then, then I will have something done about it. In the mean time I have a closet full of Small and Medium tops that are no longer going to fit and it's quite depressing. I really did not ever want to see the word large again. It sucks.
I pretty happy with my tummy. He took one drain out and left one in until next week. There is some loose skin at the top. He couldn't get it all because the incisions would have pulled on my breast incicions, too much pulling going on and could cause difficulties in healing in both areas. He make tighten it when I have my buttock/thigh lift since it's just skin and not muscle. My belly button is more shallow than he likes to see. Looks like I'll be getting a naval ring to make it look like anything and to cover it up.
So, I'm still nervous about how I'm gonna look. I'm going to trust him. He has done a lot of GB patients and These are the techniques he uses on them. People I spoke to as references loved him and said he's top notch. So I'm gonna play the wait and see game.
Word of advice:
Please ladies when you go in and try on implants. Bring the bra that you want to fit into and use that as your reference. Don't use their bras (they are usually all stretched out.) Remember it's better to go too small than too big because you can always go bigger later. When you go really big, right off the bat, they have to make a deeper chest pocket. If you downsize later on, you'll need another lift because you have a huge pocket in your chest. .
About Me
Williamsburg, VA
Location
20.7
BMI
Surgery
09/08/2004
Surgery Date
Jan 08, 2001
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
2001, Highest Weight Ever. I was in a Size 3X/26
328lbs
Size 6 dress!!!
150lbs
