Jane M.

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All right, so the main messageboard is really starting to piss me off. The attitude that some people have is appalling. Where the hell is the support people! I'm ready to leave the main board for my buds in VA and on the Grads borad. The whining is just getting to be too much. People complaining about christmas cards and cliques and how you have more friends than I do and yada, yada, yada...This is not high school people!

I've been around for a long time. When I joined OH, there was only a chat room. Then we got one measly messageboard. Sometimes you were lucky if anyone answered your post at all. But people didn't get all pissy about it. People who say that there are "cliques" on here, may see things one way but I see it in another. 

Do you post on a regular basis?
Do you answer questions to posts?
Do you Ask Questions?
Are you merely a Lurker?

I post a lot. But since I'm not working, I really don't have much of a life anyway. I have a lot of well earned friends here at OH. But I've also taken the time and effort to try and get to know them. I'm a compassionate person by nature. I generally am concerned for other people. It's in my nature and I can't help it. I'm also generally a very nosy person and extremely opinionated too! Hey, I'm a Taurus, it's what we do!  

I think people who get bent out of shape over the stupidiest stuff, need to chill out and relax. You know there is this thing, it's called a delete button. You also don't have to come here if you don't like what you see or read. Go to another board. OR hey just tell people to piss off!  

I think that a lot of our personal mental issues tend to come through even on the internet. Being fat for so long made me very insecure. I had a low opinion of myself. But through counseling (Even before surgery) I learned that I needed to be more assertive. Taking control of my life was important. It was freedom. I say what I think now. If people don't like it, tough cookies. Sometimes we have to shed the fat, to put on some armor.  I now wear Kevlar! You think I'm a bitch? So what! Do I really care? Not anymore. I still have a sensitive side, but I let stuff slide now. Why waste your time  on people who have nothing better to do than bring you down. You are better than that.

So, that's how I really feel. Yeah, I'm kinda pissy and feeling bitchy today. Kinda like this cat.


BTW READ "DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF (it's all Small Stuff!)"
by Richard Carlson

....there's always someone who has it worse than you! That's how I think now. Yes, I lost my husband, my dad, my aunt and uncle and nursed my mother through cancer and that was just this past year. But guess what? I have it a heck of a lot better than some people. I have my health, my son, I'm financially stable and secure and I'm in a good "career place". Yes, I have "woe is me" days, but I know that I can't let it rule my life. I can't live in the past. Joe would have not wanted me to live in self-pity or guilt etc. I know that he wanted me to be happy and live life to the fullest. (BTW, Halloween would have been his 39th b-day) So today's Blog is about "Letting Go of the past".
If you let go of the things in the past that hurt you. Forgive and forget, move on. Life is too short People! You got to Live for Today!

I've had to learn to let go a lot of things in the past two years. I lost my friend food, first. That hurt! No Little Debbie Cakes, No Cheetos, No Sausage and Biscuits smothered in gravy, no dozen Krispy Kreme Doughnuts calling my name, as I drove past that blinking sign that said "HOT!" (I salivate just thinking about it). I never really thought of myself as a food addict, but I was. I started sneaking food in my bedroom when I was young, like 10 years old. This happened after an "incident" that pretty much scarred me mentally. It's a hard thing to talk about and to be honest I still don't want to talk about it. I never told a soul about what happened to me until this past year. I still don't fully understand what happened to me, I'm not sure I want to know either. I truly believe that this incident led to my obesity. 10 is about the time I started gaining weight, my self-esteem was in the "crapper" and I isolated myself from people. I think being "fat" was my protection. It said "leave me alone in my misery.". So when Food left my life after WLS, what did I have...well, I had my family, so that's who I leaned on. But now, except my mom and my 8 year-old, I don't have anyone but myself. For the first time in my life, I only have me. It's very scary being alone but liberating at the same time. I've gained self-confidence and the self-esteem I've always wanted and needed. At 34 years of age I've finally discovered who I am and It feels wonderful. It wasn't until I "let Go" of the past, the guilt, the pain and anguish was I able to breathe again. People think loosing all the weight makes all their problems go away. It doesn't. Sometimes the problems that were hiding behind the fat, get worse before they get better. Yes, I saw a shrink for awhile and it did help me. Now, I'm into self-discovery. I'm reading a lot of books on Buddhism which really embraces the "Letting Go of the Past" concept. It's helped me tremendously.

Ok, so I know I ramble a lot. Sorry, It's what I do, so deal with it! But basically What I'm trying to say is that even after we loose the weight, many of us still have a lot of issues to deal with. our past has a big impact on how we live our daily lives. That past can often put up "Roadblocks" to prevent us from being who we truly can be. They stop us from reaching our full potential. Sometimes we need to just clear our past out before we can be a success. Whether we do it through counseling, religion or just talking to ourselves, it works! Don't wallow in self-misery, Get help!