Ecolwitz
I am a 34 year old musician living in Huntsville, AL. I grew up singing and surrounded by music in my home in Wisconsin. Naturally, I sought a music degree in undergrad. I worked for 3 years as a middle school choir director in Minnesota. I went to graduate school at the Univ. of Southern California for a Masters in Music (Choral Conducting). I loved it so much and was so successful that I stayed and did my doctorate there as well. In that time, I fell in love with my mentor, William Dehning. Once I graduated, after finishing my dissertation, I was hired by the Univ. of Alabama to be their Director of Choral Activities (Asst. Prof.) Bill and I moved here together, bought a house. Shortly after, we got married. We have a lovely home and a beautiful golden retriever named Sam, who is almost 3 and still very naughty. But we love him.
I have always struggled with weight. I don't ever remember a time when my thighs didn't rub together. Even in HS, I was average weight, but was heavier than my friends. In college, I gained not just the freshman 15, but the freshman 40! (Thanks to pot and pizza after midnight.) By the time I started teaching full-time, I was up to 230 lbs. I joined Weight Watchers and successfully lost 51 lbs. I kept it off for quite awhile. I gained about 30 back during grad. school (stress), but then lost another 60 while writing my dissertation (anxiety). I was down to 160 lbs! (My absolute thinnest.)
After moving here, I very quickly gained the weight back. I got married, settled into life, and ate badly. Southern food is horrible! And there aren't many fresh options for veggies and fruits that don't cost an arm and a leg. (Oh, how I miss Cali.) My job is also very stressful and I put in many hours. I was often forced to grab something on the go. (I knew it was bad, but I felt I had no choice...no time.) I had all but stopped exercising...I was up to 251 lbs. The situation was dire, and I was suffering from very low self-esteem. As a conductor, it's hard to get up in front of an audience and a choir when you can't button your blazer. Not many professional clothes look good on me anymore. I knew I had to do something.
One of my students had the lap-band surgery a year and a half ago, and she's lost almost 100 lbs. I was inspired by her and started to do some research on my own without telling anyone. I found out that I wasn't heavy enough for insurance to cover this, so I asked my husband if he'd be willing to support me on this. $15K later, I did it.
I am concerned about the risks: concerned I won't be able to stay on the diet, concerned I'll gain it back and stretch out the pouch, worried I'll fail...again.
But, I am determined that this will be for good and for real. Support along the way is of course, more than welcome.
Erin
