Evie21

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Although this may not be good news to any other rny bypass patient, it means the world to me.  I started this journey last year with the hopes that one day I could live the life that I was deprived of as an obese person.  Last nite I found out that this journey has come full circle for me in so many ways, but most importantly, because I now have a chance to be a Mommy again only this time a beautiful baby growing inside of me!  My family is so supportive and we are super excited of the news and of course the changes to come.  Thank You.

Today was the first day since my wl journey began earlier this year that I actually gained 2 pounds instead of losing.  I mean, considering the whirlwind of events in my life over the past few months, 2 pounds is a small price to pay,but it is weightgain nonetheless, and I am beyond freaking out and stressed!  I mean, I even resorted back to my evil ways and responded to this news with a rebellious binge of fries and a burger, which of course did not go so well and I felt like crap afterwards, not only because of how all of the grease and fat made my pouch groan and moan, but of course because I felt so guilty that I spent all that money and then only ate a few bites!! And then it went to waste!! But yet there are so many starving people in the world and here I am wasting money I don't have on fatty foods that I don't even eat all of! Ugh! Visious cycle! So I am thru with it. I am ready to turn a new leaf. I can't overlook my errors that have led me to where I find myself today, in shock of my scale going the wrong way, thinking no, it has to be the scale that is broken, because I can't fathom the thought of gaining weight! Yet this is the reality of it. So what am I going to do?   I have to revert back to making some seriously positive changes to get back on track with my weighloss.  I am almost to my goal and have hit a rut. My goal is like one-thirty sumthing, and I am stuck in the one sixty sumthings....and no motivation, no encouragement, and out of touch with any wls patients I once knew since I recently relocated from NJ to TX among various other changes in my life.  So here it goes. my attempt to get my life back on track.  And a cry for help. If there is anyone else out there, struggling to get back on track with your wls story, but need support, a nudge, or just a buddy to keep you motivated, LET'S CHAT!  I am desperate for success and don't see myself going it alone...I've come so far, but still have a ways to go....help!!!!

Yea, I never thought I'd be so thrilled to share such odd news, but the truth is, I finally pooped after 8 days since my surgery morning before I went under!  I am so glad to know thta part of my digestive system is still working well and quite smoothly I might add!  I just woke up this morning like I had something to do, so I just walked over and did it! No pushing and straining and no laxatives like I was afraid I might have to resort to.
Also, I forgot to mention that when I came home from the hospital pumped full of IV JUICE, that my body was expelling an unusual odor for the next few days, it was so unbearable I was showering 2-3x a day and going thru my perfume cabinet hourly!  It wasn't a disgusting smell like dirty or unsanitary, but more like a different unusual and not appealling smell.  It was sooo annoying! I was sooo glad to wake up yesterday morning and find it was all over and I could go back to my normal hygiene routine.  Did anyone else come home with this problem?  Well, i think Ive shared enough gross info today so on the brighter side, I lost 3 lbs overnite and now weigh 237.  I hope to continue losing but without so much drama as the first week! lol!

Wow.  WOWOWOWWWW!  I am speechless to describe the amount of abnormal, inhumane, traumatizing pain that  I have endured over the last 7 days and until this morning, was wondering if it was ever going to subside!  I mean, I'm not saying that I came into this expecting all to be peachy and perfect immediately following the surgery, but painful doesn't begin to describe what my body had to endure!  And I thought I was a tough cookie!  Ohhhh nooo!!! I mean, so far I haven't cried or threw up AT ALL which I'm sooo glad of since I absolutely despise vomit and tears, lol!  But the level of pain I had am and still lightly experiencing was definitely a record breaker. Of course, it isn't till AFTER I have the surgery that I actually start reading online about something called HELL-WEEK, you know, the horrifying week following surgery, and all the pain and trauma that it brings.  Figures.  But hey, I made it!!!  And I lost a total of 13 lbs my first week and actually, in 3 days since I came home still weighing 254 instead of dropping I was exactly the same weight 5 days later the day I came home!  Talk about traumatizing! lol! But the very next morning I weighed in and had lost 10 lbs. in one day. wow!  And 2 the next day and 1 today.  So overall it was an interesting weightloss experience to say the least!  I have gained some motion and much of the pain has subsided to a more tolerable level.  Now, a wild and crazy thing that happened to me on Friday which hadn't happened to me in YEARS and completely blew my mind.....I STARTED MY PERIOD!!! Yeah!  I was floored!  I mean, I knew to expect changes, but this was unworldly!  I havent had a naturally occurring period flow in years!  My body must have really been thinkin it was the end of the world for it to throw out something like that!!!  I mean, I was already in pain in the upper part of my abdomen, but now I was crampin in my lower abdomen as well!  It's been interesting to say the least.  Now on top of all the new and foreign feelings I get when walking down the protein shake Isle, I get the same feeling walking thru the tampons isle, lol!  Ah well, if it was gonna happen why not now I guess.  So I have been slacking on my protein and H2O and then wonder why I have been getting severe dizzy spells, but I just cannot get myself to stomach more than an ounce or two of protein drinks and with the water, well, I sip on it it seems like allday but it will never be enough!  I just hope that my tolerance for food and waters improves with time.  I wonder if my dizziness could be contributed to my high blood pressure meds and maybe I won't need to take them anymore:):) That would be sweet!  Well, my first postop followup doctor appointment is scheduled for this Thursday at 9am, so wish me luck!  Hopefully I will get the goodnews that I can stop the high blood pressure meds!  Till then, I have to sit tight and wait:):)  Talk to you soon:):)

Well, I had hoped to be heading home today but unfortunately, I came down with a Fever and can't be release now.  Ugh!!  I told the nurses on my new floor that I had a small fever the previous nite and that I probably am gettinga UTI due to the catheder and that they should check my urine, which they of course blew me off and didnt investigate further  So as the night approaches, I start getting sweaty, itchy and uncomfortable and start pushin the button for a nurse, yet by the time she comes over with a thermometer, I'm already at 103!  And then it takes another hour before she comes back with my tylenol!  I am just sooo frustrated with the system and  how it takes forever  to get results!  I hope noone else encounters this issue on their surgery day! 

My surgeon, Dr. Christopher Boynton, was awesome.  He is softspoken but very professional and answers all questions and doubts immediately.  I felt at ease and very prepared for my surgery when I was put to sleep and when I woke, I did also feel that same sense of security despite my discomfort.  The staff explained to me every step of the way what they were doing and why, until I knocked out and then again when I awoke.  I was in more pain in the first hour after the surgery until I took more pain meds and knocked out for a few hours again.  I slept on and off for the first day and ate very little.  The second day I walked a bit, had some broth and jello in 30cc cups and started noticing my first few hours of a fever.  I knew I had a fever and that it was probably directly related t my foley catheder because I always get a fever when I have a UTI. That night, the nurses crushed a tylenol for me(ewww it was disgusting!!)and monitored  my fever until it dropped to under 99.7.  I have since then had a steady fever of about 100 until a few hrs ago, when I got transferred down here to the regular floor and the nurses are not as attentive!  So my fever spiked up to over 103 again!  And I had to keep pushing the button for my Tylenol  cuz these nurses are on their own time schedule! ugh!  Finally, I got my Tylenol, a glass of ice water and a small personal fan, but i dunno how much all this is gonna help!  I think I'm gonna call my Surgeon tomorrow and let him know exactly what's going on after dark to his patients!  Well, I hope to be out of here tomorrow and i Have every intention of following up with my pcp for a uti so it will be addressed immediately and not hours later! 

Stressin out doesnt even begin to put into perspective the overall feelings I've gone thru in the past 24 hrs!  I have left it at Gods Feet and what I can control, such as the cleanliness of my household and preparations for the trip to the hospital are all in order.  Well, I still have to pack my Hospital Bag, Cpap and Laptop but other than that, I am alot better than I have been the past few days.  My husband finally started to come to his senses and is deeply regretful of his actions and we are on a slow path to recovery that will take some time, but this has brought me much happiness since I have recieved his support again and his wellwishes for a speedy recovery.  I am worried about something though, not dealing with my hubby.  I am worried that my Doctor did not request that I do a LIQUID DIET for the past 2 weeks nor did he issue any type of antibiotics prior to surgery and wonder if this is normal with everyone else or did their docs do things differently?  I Called and spoke with his staff Friday and they confirmed there was no special pre-op diet and I was just to not eat/drink after midnite which I've not violated.  Well, I trust my Doc knows best since I have successsfully lost over 18 lbs already maybe he didnt feel it was  necessary for me to have to Liquid diet ?  aNYHOO, I will be in the hospital checking in today at noon for a 2pm surgery.  I am excited and nervous and ready for my new life to begin!  I will try to post again as soon as I'm able and hope everyone has a great week!
Here's to my RE-Birthday! Yay!

I found my mind going everywhere  these past few days, doing what I always do before a big event, like studying for a test, prepping for the ultimate exams, finalizing a project, and then later in life like wedding preparations, nesting for the day I'd bring my new daughter home, and like I'm doing right now as I get ready for my surgery on Monday afternoon. I PROCRASTINATE ON SEVERAL KEY ISSUES AND THEN SCRAMBLE THE DAY BEFORE!! I have been doing odd things here and there, day by day, until I am now nearing the final lap, and the finish line is in sight, and yet here I am, still nitpicking about the details and bigger stuff still remains to be done.  I have nevertheless been very distracted with my weeks chaotic events, however to make matters worse, I was losing focus.  I had to call in the cavalry.  So I recruited my goddaughter Dora to come over and help me with the preparations and together we succeeded in all the big things like setting up my master bedroom suite to the likes of an upscale Hotel complete with a 42' flatscreen plasma, laptop, onsuite bathroom freshly scrubbed down, and my favorite-a little kitchenette with microwave and minifridge in the corner of my room! LOL! (very necessary tool since I share my household with a 1, 6, two 7, 8 and a 23 year old kids! yeah! not to mention my sis and her hubby so it would be hard for me to be in the main kitchen with my liquids while they enjoy the benefits of MEXICAN NIGHT or PIZZA NITE, lol!  )   All that is left for me to do is to clear off the top of my dresser and nightstand so that I can have room for my easy access necesities and pack my hospital bag for the stay.  I am glad to say that despite my issues, I am pushing forward and will be ready come monday at noon for the surgery!  My sister Danny has stepped up and filled the role as my Angel on such short notice and I am so glad she will be a major role in my support system now since my husband is out of the picture.He finally apologized for his actions but I am still hesitant to acknowledge this comment without first seeing results.  He will be going to anger management classes as well as speaking to a counselor and we will remain separated until I am 2-3 weeks out and better healed before I will even consider talking to him about our plans for our future.  He regrets that his actions have now caused him to not be a part of one of the most important days of my life. But i dont have time to throw him a pity party.  I have to push on and keep my thoughts focused on a successful surgery and a healthy and speedy recovery.  And as a future sidenote, I will make sure that the next main person in my life-even if that person is him-will have to explain to me in detail their interpretation of the phrase "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health..." and I will THEN decide IF it's to my standards, because I won't ever settle for a halfway husband again.  Oh and BTW, my surgery time has been confirmed: I am to arrive at 12 noon on monday the 21st of march and my surgery will be at 2pm.  So its my nightmare come true...I am not the first patient of the day and will have to withstand several painstaking hours of extreme hunger on an empty stomach until they have mercy on my poor soul and knock me out and wheel me in, lol!!! I am soo not looking forward to the miserable hungry part of the big day! aaah well, ya win some and ya lose some! But whoever's in the morning slots sure are some lucky people! lol!

Well, it's official.  I tried to be a good wife and avoid confrontations, go to my support groups and counseling to learn how to communicate better in a relationship, anger management, domestic violence prevention, etc, and all for nothing.  My husband refuses to be understanding about my upcoming surgery and how I need his support and trust and understanding now more than ever.  Instead he forced me to have to call the cops and put a restraining order on him, and now I am preparing to go thru this major surgery with only my sister and her husband and the kids for support.  All of my family is in Texas.  I really wish my mom was here right now.  I'm terrified!  Why couldnt he just be understanding and sensitive to my needs? Why did he have to be a jerk and restrain me and emotionally and mentally abuse me?  I just don't understand men I guess.  Why his insecurities were enough of a reason to jeopardize the success of my surgery thru his constant harrassment and openly admitting his opposition to my life-altering surgery-I will never know.  All that I know is I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO.  And from today forward, I will continue doing what I have to do to make sure that I put my health at the top of my list so that in the future I will be there in every way for the life of my daughter and being able to finally enjoy my life as well.  I started cleaning my room since it was a tornado from all the drama over the weekend.  I did my final grocery shopping and got jello's, cream of wheat, liquid soups and broths, and protein mix-all sugar free of course-and some other goodies as I start final preparations for my surgery.  I cleaned out my minifridge and restocked it and will do all of my laundry tomorrow and possibly do a scrubdown of my bathroom while I'm at it.  All of that will have to go down after my Pre-op testing tomorrow morning at 845am and after that my meeting on Fort Dix with a caseworker for my drama with my husband.  Then its physical therapy for my ankles and then back home to do my chores.  Ugh. It's gonna be another exhausting day! AAhhh!!

Yeah, my angel also happened to be my husband.  You know, the "ill death do us part" fello?  Well, he has been getting more and more insecure as the surgery date approaches and well, yesterday we had a big falling out and he as officially promoted himself from HUSBAND, to NOBODY by his actions, attitude, anger issues, insults, etc.  So from here on out, it's ALLLLL MEEEEE! Solo!! Okay, it kills me to say that during the time of my greatest need, I am in fact utterly alone!  I don't even want him in the hospital or my room the days following the surgery that's how bad he hurt me!  Who does that to someone they love a few days before major surgery!?!?  What a jerk!  I am regretting making him my angel and I am hating myself for allowing it to get this bad so close to my big day, when I SHOULD be doing breathing excersizes or yoga or some other crap to be EASING stress in my life, here I am caught up in a whole whirlwind of it!  My blood pressure is thru the roof and I am having sharp pains in my left side which doesn't feel normal.  Ugh.  Well, keep me in your prayers that maybe I will be given peace prior to going under the knife so that I will come out okay on the other side.  If not, I will just have to get my revenge by haunting and tormenting him the rest of his life as a ghost, lol!  Ahh, gotta find a laughter in life, even if it's at my own expense right? right:):):)