Heidi S.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Researching WLS the past 3 years I knew that one of the down falls would be extra skin once you lose weight. It never bothered me up until about a week ago and it's a big fear right now. I have been having low self esteme days lately and thinking I can't wait to have WLS then I think omg how is it going to be with the extra skin. I have been looking at before nad after pictures hunting for people about my weight, height and body shape to see how their skin is. I want to see how it hangs, how they hide it, I just feel I have to know it all. It's almost like I have OCD with it. I read Marny B.'s posting earlier today and she is dealing with mental issues with the extra skin, what she's dealing with now after the surgery and how I'm feeling now even before the surgery. I don't think I'm alone with these feelings. The waiting between appointments and for surgery really plays on a persons minds. It's an evil government head games.
I know this will all pass and my head will be back where it's suppose to be. I'm guessing though I will be one of the ones to get plastics done. Past blogs gives my story about being over weight since age 10, I really want to be skinnier, healthier and beable to look in the mirror and really love the peson I see. I joke about having a fundraiser for plastics, if that's what it takes so be it. I want to be happy for once in my life.
These are my thoughts one this day, check back later I'm sure I will be thinking and feeling differently. LOL Like I said cruel head games.

Just emailed my pharmasist to see if he can order me in the Bariatric Vitamins by Wellesse. Here's hoping he can.

I've found since I have been more open about having the surgery and about my weight I have had better success with sticking to things and people are understanding the emotions I have been and am deling with and they are all becoming a stronger support. I've cut out all the evil empty calorie thing, diet pop and cut down portion sizes but mom being a mom I guess says I didn't eat much and still askes if I want a diet Pepsi ( I gave it up a year ago), I just laugh and say I don't drink it anymore, she says opps I forgot. Mom is 73, still working cash at Walmart because she can't sit still, she's a size 8 and is addicted to diet pepsi. lol. My mom use to be a size 18 years ago but with Thyroid problems she lost the weight. She is a great support but I have to remind er every so often how I will be eating after the surgery and that I'm trying to live that way now.
I also get a chuckle when my mom and one sister keep telling me I'm not going to loose weight that fast that it's going to take awhile. When I ask what they mean my awhile they say about a year. I just laugh now and stop correcting them because it gets frustrating. I laugh to keep the little sanity I have. Hubby laughs as well and says he can't weight to see the looks on their faces when they see how quickly it will drop off especially the inches.

I met and had my first appointment today with my new family doctor, Dr. Sharp. She is wonderful, just graduated last July from medical school and up on everything and isn't afraid to referr you places. She went over my family's hedical history and as a result is sending me for a mamagram and the MRI that goes along with it. She also recommended that I go for genetic testing, both tests are because both my mother and my sister had ovarian cancer at young ages. Not to be concern, mom and sister are still alive today and doing well, both had their cancer caught in time. I want to have the genetic testing done but yet I'm scared. I have to research how the testing is preformed and what do they do if your have the gene for a cancer. Yet another thing to keep me up thinking during the night rather then sleeping.
I'm so happy to have found Dr. Sharp and be pointed in these directions no other Dr's had I seen ever mentioned these things to me.

TWH called at exactly 11:40am today with my date. It's June 22nd at 11 am with Dr. Aarts. I also I have to see Mary at 10 am to go over my Boost instructions since I can't take Opti. I'm excited, disappointed and nervous all in one. Excited because I finally have a date, disappointed because I was hoping for an earlier date and nervous because I know the surgery is going to be taking place not too long after.
It took 3 weeks and 1 day, a few emails and phone calls. LOL
Good luck to those waiting

I just got off the phone with TWH, it will be 3 weeks Thursday that my file wen to the team and was approved to move on to the surgeon appointment and still no appointment. I was informed that right now there is only one surgeon that does appointments once a week on Friday's and they are looking for another surgeon to come in on another day of the week because the Friday appointments weren't accommodating for patients. I told them any day is good for me so long as I know in advance so I can book a flight. I'm sorry I may be speaking out of turn but I feel if you really want the surgery will will take whatever day they are offering and work your schedule around it, unless of course it is too short of a notice and you can't travel the distance in the time given. Like I said I may have spoken out of turn so please don't yell at me for what I think.
I'm getting so frustrated I just want to scream. They said to call back in 2 weeks if I haven't heard anything.Trust me it's mark in my reminders on my phone to call.

Today, Sunday, March 25. 2012 I have seen a couple postings about regain and it makes me nerious as to if I'm going to fall trap to that as well. I really fear the possiblity of regain years out. I keep telling myself I won't let it but as we all know it's a struggle the rest of your life.  I just had to share how I'm feeling right now at this point.
All around today was a bit of a rough day emotionally. I started yesterday really missing my dad, more then I do on an other giver day, it was also my step nieces baby shower. I had a great time while there but when I got home I was depressed and cried. I was never able to have children because of severe PCOS and hyperplasia both of which WLS will improve but it's too late in life for me know. Yep, I had a private pitty party. a couple of my really good friends, one of which is dealing with infertility herself right now was there for me. I'm doing better as I write this but not 100%, I know I will get there though. I so proud of myself though that I didn't turn to junk food for support. It's days like today that I really hate my husband's job, (truck driver), he left today and will be back Friday. I'm counting the days.
I know there are some on the forum that deal with what I do on a daily basis as well so you know exactly how I'm feeling.

I had emailed Mary at TWH on Tuesday and she responded back yesterday regarding my file going to the team and a possible surgeon date, here is her exact response:  "Hi Heidi, As far as I know your case has gone through the approval process. I can’t tell you when would be further scheduling. Hopefully you will be hearing something soon."

I was happy that she could at least give me that much seeing as both the Receptionist and Rene couldn't. I'm just happy that I was approved. Still has me wondering though if I still need to do further testing or anything. I was joking with my hubby telling "Don't they realize we're fat people and can easily have a heart attack or stroke do to too much stress" his response and mine is laughter and him telling me not to talk about a heart attack or stroke. You do have to joke your way through the process or you could go insane literally.
It's only been a week since my file went to the team but I am a very impatient person and I full admit it.
Still keeping everything cross that I just have to do the surgeon appointment with no more firer hoops to jump through.

I called TWH today to see if my file went to the team last week and they said I would know when they call with my Surgeon appointment. WTH kind of answer is that. They said if I hadn't heard anything yet they are still reviewing it. OMG I'm so damn stressed now more then I was before I called. I'm so afraid they found something they don't like or coming up with a huge list of things that I have to do before I get the appointment. So hoping no news is good news and I don't have to jump through anymore flaming hoops. Fingers, toes, legs, eyes and anything else that is possible to cross are crossed.
They say a watched kettle never boils, but I think if you turn up the heat it will boil faster lol

 Yesterday I got a call to become a patient for a new family doctor. WOOO HOOO I have someone to help at this end with everything to do with WLS and other issues. I haven't had a family doctor in 5 years, since I moved back to my hometown. I went today and met with the nurse so she can create my health file for Dr. Lorraine Sharp. Dr. Sharp doesn't start prat icing at the clinic until April 1st and I have my first appointment April 2nd. I just need to call Rene at TWH to update her on having a family doctor. Everyone at the clinic is so friendly and supportive of my WLS decision and can;t believe how prepared and organized I am with it. I can't wait to meet Dr. Sharp and see how she feels about it. Wish me luck Oh the nurse weighed me and I lost 3 lbs since I was at TWH for mt Dietian appointment.