Joyb412
I have been struggling with my weight since I can remember. The first time I was told that I needed to go on a diet was when I was 10 years old. I am sick and tired of trying and struggling and failing to lose weight, and hating myself in the meantime. I am ready for action and I am ready for the next step of my journey.
03/15/04 - Well, I found out last week that I my medical group approved me for the initial consult with the surgeon. Looks like they are referring me to Dr. LePort in Fountain Valley, who is a good doctor from what I have heard. I go in for the orientation class on March 25. I've been told that it is a 3 hour class where they weigh and measure you and you fill out a packet, etc., etc. I am really excited to have the first step started. I realize it will be a while before I have a surgery date and I am okay with that. Now that I have made up my mind to do this, I can wait for the right time.
03/26/04 - I attended the orientation class yesterday. There were about 11 of us, all together. They brought us back and weighed and measured us one at a time, then we were all brought back together for the "class". It lasted about 3 hours total (with all of the in between stuff of filling out paperwork and getting measured). From all of the research that I have done, I knew pretty much everything that they had to say, but I did find a couple of things interesting. Such as that gastric bypass patients get dehydrated easier than normal people. I always though the water thing was just to help ensure weight loss. I am the type of person that follows the rules - so if I have to drink water and eat protein to keep my body healthy, I know that I will do it. Anyway, thanks for listening (if anybody is reading this).
03/31/04 - OMG! I AM APPROVED! I cannot believe how quick that was. I work full time as a paralegal, but I was home yesterday with my 3 year old daughter, who was sick. I was half asleep on the couch when the phone rang and Tonya from Lite Dimensions was on the phone telling me that I was approved for my surgery and that I have a date - 5/03/04. It is still sinking in. That's only a month away. I feel very fortunate, and to all those that are struggling with getting approval for insurance, I hope yours goes as smoothly as mine did. I am still in shock. I'm hoping that the quick approval process means that it was meant to be. Part of me is still numb, but the other part is unbeivably excited and nervous. I have researched this procedure as much as I can and I know the risks and the benefits.
I just noticed that I have not said much personal information about myself on here. I am 27 years old (well, 28 on 4/12). I'm 5 ft. 3 inches tall and I currently weigh 254. I am married to a wonderful man who is 100% behind my decision to have this surgery. We have a 3 year old daughter. Like most people on this site, I have struggled with my weight since I was a small child. I still remember going to elementary school after my mom had put me on another "diet" and looking at my half wheat sandwich and apple in absolute disgust. I have one sister who has never struggled with her weight. She is weighs about 114 now, and has never weighed more than that. Growing up, I was "pork chop" and she was "skinny minnie"..aahhh the joys of growing up with a sadistic mother. It's always amazing to me how the wounds that are inflicted upon us in childhood seem to last our whole lives. I never tell my daughter that she is chubby. I tell her that I love her everyday and that she is beautiful. She believes it too - that's the best part. She already has higher self-esteem at the age of 3 then I ever had in my life. All that aside, I am looking forward to a healthly new life and me. When I was 24 I managed to get down to 170 pounds using a combination of Phentermine and Zoloft. For the first time in my life, I felt attractive and healthy. Unfortunately, it was shortlived, as I got pregnant with my daughter a mere year later. Needless to say, I gained all of my lost weight back, plus the extra 30 pounds that I am now carrying.
I am looking forward to a new start. I have clothes from 3 years ago that I cannot wait to fit into again. Well, I guess I have rambled enough. Good luck to all of those that are still waiting for approval.
04/09/04 - I attended the "doc talk" last night with Dr. Ali, whom I have picked to be my surgeon. He was really nice. I was impressed with his openness and patience with all of the questions...because there has to be at least one jackass in every crowd! I swear, everytime I go somewhere like this, there is one person that is asking all of the stupid questions. That guy just happened to be the one sitting right in front of me. He's going in for surgery in a couple of weeks and you would think he had not done any research. I guess he just woke up one morning and said "I'm going to do that Gastric Bypass thing, maybe that will work, and if it doesn't, then I'll quit and try Jenny Craig again".... I mean really, if you are not prepared for this surgery and you have not done your research, then why are you going to do it? That guy is in for a world of hurt. He was asking questions like will I really never be able to drink beer again? and when should I have my last meal? How long does disability last? ..... are these really things you should be asking a busy surgeon? Anyway, off of my horse, I just did not get that mentality.
I was very impressed with Dr. Ali and feel very confident in my choice of him as a surgeon. My husband went with me and his mind was put to ease. Dr. Ali explained the risks and the benefits in a way that made it very clear what you were in for. He reinforced my belief that it was a really good thing that I had quit smoking (2 weeks ago on 4/12) because it helps so much in the recovery. I just want to be as healthy as possible at this point and recover as fast as I can. I have an elicptical (where is the spell check???) machine at home that we bought several months ago and that has seen very little use, but that I need to spend a little more time with prior to surgery so that I can get as strong as possible in the next month....starting tomorrow..lol
05/25/04 - I thought I would take a little time and update my profile. I am now 3 weeks (as of yesterday) post-op. I consider myself fortunate, in that I have not had any of the dreaded post-op complications (so far, at least). My surgery was on May 3rd. I had the RNY (lap).
When I went into the hospital, I was amazingly calm, so much so that I surprised myself. I guess I had reached a point where I knew that this was what I wanted and needed to do, and what would be, would be...fortunately what would be was what I woke up from surgery 2 hours later. I was more awake and "with it" then I thought that I would be. The pain those first 2 days was pretty intense and only slightly more manageable with the morphine button. My pulse was racing when it was time for my first walk (I think it was a reaction to the morphine), but it finally calmed down and I was ready to wander the halls. The first time out was pretty tough, but it faded each time I got out of bed. My surgery was on a Monday and I was released on Thursday morning at 11. I was fortunate enough as well to have a really cool roommate. She was super nice and we were both model patients. It was good to go home on Thursday though.
I have a desk job, so I returned to work 2 weeks post-op on May 17th (half days). This is my first week back full time. I was exhausted last night. I do have to say though that I am not as tired as I thought I would be. I have been taking my tums and B12, and just started the mulitvitamins on Monday, so maybe that has to do with it. It could also be because I'm relatively young (28) - at any rate, I feel good and I'm starting to look better too :) I have not had any post-op depression. I took my first iron pill last night. It was really hard on the pouch. I ended up throwing most of it up, and that taste was just awful as it was partially broken down by the time that it made my nauseous. Ick! I ordered the chewable iron from Bariatric Advantage last night. I can't wait until they get to my house!
So, I guess that is all for now. I am down 23.5 pounds so far and I could not be happier or more excited about my progress.
07/16/04 - I am now almost 10 weeks post-op and I have lost 43 pounds, bringing my current weight to 213. While that is not as good as some, and I feel that it is a little slow, I am happy with my progress. I went to Robinsons May yesterday and tried on some clothes. I was so stoked to fit comfortably into a 1x shirt and a size 16 pants. It's been a long time since I was at this weight. I haven't been as faithful at taking my vitamins lately..I ran out of tums and ordered the mutlivitamin off of Susan Maria's website. The UPS lady left a sticker the two days ago, I signed it and expected my stuff to be sitting on my doorstep last night, but she didn't leave it again! That is so frustrating to me, it's not like I live in the hood.... anyway, whenever I get them, I am looking forward to starting them again and getting back to my vitamin regimen. I still take my chewable iron from Bariatric Advantage every day, as well as their chewable multivitamin.
I've only lost 1.5 pounds since two weeks ago, which is the time that I ran out of Isopure Vanilla protein shake, and I couldn't bring myself to buy anymore right way...just needed a break from it for a while...but it goes to show that without it, I am not losing weight as fast and I'm going to have to go and get some more. I was supplementing with protein bars, but I can't really find one I like. I ordered the Power Crunch Bar w/ my multivitamins, and if they ever get here, I'll try those out too.
I work out 5 days a week on my elicpitical machine for 30 minutes. Once my weight loss slowed down, I upped it to 45 minutes and that's kicked a few pounds lose... I'm just trying to figure out what is causing the stall. I was also munching on nuts and beef jerky, both of which are high in sodium..so I threw those away this morning so as to not have the temptation there. I'm not even hungry when I eat them, just eating for the sake of it.
I have an iron-clad pouch, meaning I can eat just about anything I want..not that I do, I just can. I have not tried any candy, fried foods or sugary products, so I have no idea if I dump or not, I just mean that I do not have issues with salad or meat like a lot of people do.
Well, I guess that is all for now...until next time!
07/22/04 - WooHoooo! First major goal accomplished with time to spare. I weighed in at 206 this morning for a grand total loss of 50 pounds. I was hoping for that by my 3 month mark (08/03/04) and I'm a little ahead of myself.
08/10/04 - Okay, this is not so cool. I have been stuck at the same weight (203.5) for going on three weeks now. I know that plateaus happen, and I'm willing to accept that, but that doesn't mean I can't get depressed about it! I am starting a protein feast today for the next three days and I'll see what happens. I want this to end! I don't think I would care as much if I was at 199, but to be so close...and yet so far away - well it just sucks!
08/16 - Well, the protein feast worked. I entered "onederland" on Saturday morning, weighing in at 199 exactly (still there today, but that's okay). I was very strict with no carbs and protein only for three days and that really seemed to turn the tide on this stall. I had read another profile of a woman that had done that and it worked as well for me as it did for her. This is sweet!
08/30/04 - I said a little prayer on the way to work this morning - "God, please help me get through this next year with dignity and grace". I feel myself being so impatient to lose these last 62 pounds. I feel it impacting every aspect of who I am for the day when I get sad and depressed because I am not losing weight as fast as *I* think that I should. And with that little prayer this morning, was a realization - that I am going to have to be patient and wait it out. It will happen. This is not like all of the other times that I have tried to diet and lose weight. I will get to my goal this time. What I need to do is quit weighing myself everyday. Needless to say, I weighed 199 again this morning. In part, I know what it is. I'm almost 4 months out now, and my body has adjusted to the lower caloric intake. I don't help myself on the weekends when I eat carbs mindlessly, and don't drink all of my water. I can be so much more strict when I am here at work and have a regmented day ahead of me. Okay, I'm sad today and hopefully next time that I update will bring better news. Bye for now, and for everybody reading this who is considering surgery, know that this is no easy cure and it is not all roses and sweetness. Sometimes it sucks.
09/03/04 - Today is my 4 month anniversary. This morning I weighed 196.5. I was hoping to lose 60 pounds by today, so considering I am only .5 away from that - I'm considering the goal met!
10/26/04 - It's been a while since I've updated here. Today I'm at 182. I'm going out to Vegas on Thursday, and I was hoping to be at 180 by then. Hopefully, I can get the 2 pounds off by then and if not, no biggie. I'll be meeting my parents out there and I'll be 20 pounds lighter then when I last saw them in August. So I'm happy with that.
I'm fitting comfortably into a size 14, petite, no less. It feels so good to shop in the regular section of a store, though I still feel like an interloper and that somebody will kick me out at any time. I went shopping at Kohl's this weekend. It's been so long since I wasn't wearing plus sizes...I just didn't even know where to start. I'm 28, so I guess Missie? Isn't that the young woman but not old lady section???!!! LOL, how's this fat chick to know? At any rate, I'm grateful for it and having fun shopping for once in my life. It's so nice to pull something off the rack and know that it is going to fit. Out of comfort, I pulled a 1x off the rack, went to try it on - it hung to my knees...what a difference 6 months makes. I was wearing a 3x before surgery.
Eating is going well. I can eat anything, no issue. I've not been as strict on the carbs lately and have tried bread..some people comlain that it wads up and feels stuck. Not so for me. I can't even eat half a of six inch sub, but I am full when I am done and not overly so. I can eat more than I could fresh out of surgery, but that's to be expected - man cannot live on 2 bites of food at a time for very long. I'm okay with that, though it does stress me out on occasion. Whenever I feel sorry for myself and say "oh f--- it", I'll eat as much as I want, well, thank god for this tool cause that's just not possible. I used to look for that full feeling, now I settle for satisfied. If you've not had the surgery, it's hard to explain, but it comes down to "I'm done" and I'm okay with that.
Ta ta for now. Off to pack for Vegas baby!
11/29/04 - So here it is a month later and I'm only 4 pounds less. I was going over my weight journal that I keep at home and I've only lost 10 pounds in the last 2 months...that is beyond slow. On Friday, 12/03, I will be 7 months out, and if the loss keeps going at the pace it has been, I will be at 77 pounds lost in 7 months. That is so sllloooowww. I admit, I am not perfect in my eating habits., but I'm not so awful that it accounts for the slowness. I eat 3 small meals during the work week, drink more than 64 ounces of water, take my vitamins every day and eat adequate protein. My downfall is the weekends, when I eat a little bit more and don't drink as much water. I need to work on that. I will get to my goal, I will - for the first time in my life - but I can tell this will not be an easy journey for me, or that one day I will wake up and say "I'm losing too much weight". I've known this from day one. I love food too much for that to happen. I wasn't really worried about Thanksgiving, but I tell you what...I struggled more than I thought I would with not being able to eat as much as I wanted. My very favorite thing in the whole world after Turkey day was to eat a nice turkey sandwich with lots of mayo and stuffing in it. Well, I made myself one of them two days in a row. I ate one bite of both and gave the rest to my husband. Not because it tasted bad or I didn't like it - I was full. So full I could not eat another bite. I know that's a good thing. I just have to figure out why I'm upset about that. I never knew my love of food went that deep. That's just sad. I need to get over it and get a better hobby.
01/19/05 - I'm at 168 now and feeling pretty well. I can eat a bit more than I would like to, but I control myself pretty well. I learned on these messageboards a while back that Dr. Ali makes his pouches 4 ozs. That's a little on the big side. I don't have much to say today, just wanted to update my current weight.
10/17/05 - It's been nine months since I've updated? How the heck did that happen??!!. Guess I've been busy living life :o)
Well, in nine months, I've managed to lose - drum roll please.. 22 whole pounds. And you know what I say about that? OH WELL. I'm happy to weigh 146 pounds and be in a size 8, sometimes size 6. Kay, yeah, I would love to lose these last 11 pounds and finally reach my goal for once, but whatever, I'm truly happy to be the smallest I have been in my entire adult life. I've turned into a true gym rat lately, lifting weights and the whole bit. I love it and feel deprived if I don't get my 5 days a week in at the gym. Eating is about the same. I still get full on a few ounces of meat and a few bites of carbs. Like for lunch today I had 3 ounces of leftover grilled steak and a few bites of a half of a baked potatoe. It's an hour after lunch and I'm still stuffed and I doubt I'll eat dinner. Alright, off for the next nine months ;o) Just joking, I'll try to update more often.