Kimberly L.
This journey began as a culmination of a lifetime of humiliation, discomfort, emotional anguish and physical pain. I had had enough when I found myself in the emergency room of a local hospital with an episode of SVT. My heart raced into the 180s without any explanation. I thought I was having a heart attack. Needless to say, it scared me silly, and I decided then that something has to be done. My cardiologist (never thought I would need one at my age) recommended the procedure over stimulant appetite suppression. I agreed to go forward and do whatever I had to do to make it happen, including getting a loan to cover the costs. I never want to face the rejection that so often comes along with being a "phat" girl. As a matter of fact, I hate the word "fat" because of its negative connotation. I have done so many things at this size, including wearing a swimsuit and going swimming, but the body that I have pampered for so long, in an effort to transcend the reality of who and what I felt and looked like, began to fail me over a short period of time, so I knew a change was in order. I don't know what it's like to weigh less than 270 pounds as an adult or wear anything smaller than a 2X or a 24. Size 12? Puh-lease! Passed that up somewhere in elementary school. I've accomplished a great deal as an overweight woman. Losing weight and becoming more fit have always been in the back of my mind, and I did it once or twice but never stuck to the plan. This time, I'm using a tool that I am confident will work. God helped it all to come together, and I am leaning on Him for support. He wants me to be the best me so that I can serve Him better, and I will do my best to better care for this temple I call my body. No more excuses. Life for me as a physically different woman can now begin. No matter what, I'm still sexy, smart, and true to myself.
Never had blood pressure problems until late last year. Cholesterol hovering less than or around 230 or so and has been an issue for quite some time, for which I took medication. Infertility/amennorrhea...been there for may years. Newly-diagnosed with GERD late last year. Man, my pill box was getting a little heavy. A steady man...nope. I've focused on making the inner me a good person, but the painful reality that looks DO matter has set in. I'm tired of being overlooked or used as a mule because of my weight. I loved Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?" film with Jill Scott as an overweight wife with an insensitive, verbally abusive husband. It was and still is hard for me to watch that scene because it is so similar to a situation I faced earlier in the year. Never again do I want a man to tell me I'm too heavy to sit on his bed. I don't deserve that kind of cruelty.
I don't know what it's like to weigh less than 270 pounds as an adult. Size 12? Puh-lease! Passed that up somewhere in elementary school. I've accomplished a great deal as an overweight woman. Losing weight and becoming more fit have always been in the back of my mind, and I did it once or twice but never stuck to the plan. This time, I'm using a tool that I am confident will work. God helped it all to come together, and I am leaning on Him for support. He wants me to be the best me so that I can serve Him better, and I will do my best to better care for this temple I call my body. No more excuses. A more ideal life for me can now begin.
