Linda T.
The Weighting Game!
Nov 01, 2006
A good play on words but exactly what I feel like I have been living. Up and down and never really happy with what my body weight is. I never look at myself in the mirror and see the true me. I was very good looking when I was young. Pride, but I covered it with weight. Pudging my face and body to unrecognizable size, like a blow up doll. I have been this way, in some shape of form for 37 years. Now a different part of the Weighting Game begins, the rollercoster part is over. I am not sure of the next part, how it works or how it feels, but emotionally it has got to be better along the way. I plan on mouring food and the old me. I know I will never be able to hide my feelings with food, or to eat myself into a state of euphoria again. I am going to have to learn to face those emotions and not to stuff them down with food. Everyone around me want to know if I am excited. No, not yet anyway. I am trying to address those feeling now. My husband thinks I am worried, but I am not. I think I am beginning the mourning period. I will probably be one of the emotional people after surgery. But I know it is comming. I am not getting off the anti depressant yet. My Dr. says take it as it comes and we will know if and when I need to come off them. Right now I know I would be wild with out them.
I have had all my pre-op done, and everything is in order to have surgery. I laughed and told my husband I could drive myself down. I am that ready. Food is ready, surgery bag is packed. Now I got to get this house in order. I don't like cleaning the house anyway. My husband is not good on that so while I am away it will just pile up. I stocked the freg for him and stocked the pantry.
So now I am just Weighting!
I have had all my pre-op done, and everything is in order to have surgery. I laughed and told my husband I could drive myself down. I am that ready. Food is ready, surgery bag is packed. Now I got to get this house in order. I don't like cleaning the house anyway. My husband is not good on that so while I am away it will just pile up. I stocked the freg for him and stocked the pantry.
So now I am just Weighting!
A Lap Band that's what!
Oct 31, 2006
I had my EGD today. No or little hernia so I will get the Lap Band. I can't say I am excited for one or the other. I just knew I would have one or the other. I am ready. They did find irratation in my stomach and took a sample to culture. The Dr told my husband that Dr Houston might want to do something about it before surgery. I pray this does not change my surgery date.
My husband went with me. He carried his computer and did work the whole time. I was feeling badly that he was missing work time. I was at ease today during testing. So much so that after they tried two time to hit a vein during prep, I fell asleep. I even got home and took another long nap.
Holly at Dr Houstons called me after I got home. She was interested in what they found. She was off today to be with her children for Halloween. But she still took time to call me. She said she would talk with Dr. first thing in the morning before the day got started. She will be calling me later in the day tomorrow hopefully with the irritation results. I think it is from the gunk that I had to drink last week for the Upper GI. I got several mouth sores and a large fever blister on my lip the next day.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my regular Dr for blood work. Then on to the Nutritionist, then to Pre admission testing. One chest x ray, EKG and Blood draw AGAIN then the next stop surgery.
I went to the grocery and got lot of supplies and things for my husband to eat. Tomorrow is a new day.
My husband went with me. He carried his computer and did work the whole time. I was feeling badly that he was missing work time. I was at ease today during testing. So much so that after they tried two time to hit a vein during prep, I fell asleep. I even got home and took another long nap.
Holly at Dr Houstons called me after I got home. She was interested in what they found. She was off today to be with her children for Halloween. But she still took time to call me. She said she would talk with Dr. first thing in the morning before the day got started. She will be calling me later in the day tomorrow hopefully with the irritation results. I think it is from the gunk that I had to drink last week for the Upper GI. I got several mouth sores and a large fever blister on my lip the next day.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my regular Dr for blood work. Then on to the Nutritionist, then to Pre admission testing. One chest x ray, EKG and Blood draw AGAIN then the next stop surgery.
I went to the grocery and got lot of supplies and things for my husband to eat. Tomorrow is a new day.
I have a date but for what?
Oct 29, 2006
My bear is dancing for JOY! November 6th is my DAY. I visited the Doctor today he reviewed my Upper GI results they were inconclusive. I need to have a EGD to determine which I have Lap Band or RNY. When I was setting up the appointment they ask if I wanted to go ahead and set the surgery date. Of COURSE! The DR had a cancellation and needed to fill that spot. Things have been so easy for me. Let me see if I can explain.
I believe that I am in God's will with this surgery. I went to a surgery seminar on the 14th of October that is when I started the process. After going on saturday, Sunday I talked to a friend who had surgery a year before. I ask for her to tell me general information and her thoughts on surgery. She never mentioned her surgeon but did mention the Dr that had given the seminar. When I arrived for my appointment with him, his office manager was someone I knew from church we attended years earlier. We had even worked together on Vacation Bible School. Things were so much easier and more comfortable. I have had such a peace. I have just followed all the steps laid out before me. There is no fear, or worry. I have so many medical problems that I feel this is what God wants me to do to continue what work I can do for him. I have so much to do in a short time. I may get worried later but I doubt it. Thank you God.
In all thy way acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6
I believe that I am in God's will with this surgery. I went to a surgery seminar on the 14th of October that is when I started the process. After going on saturday, Sunday I talked to a friend who had surgery a year before. I ask for her to tell me general information and her thoughts on surgery. She never mentioned her surgeon but did mention the Dr that had given the seminar. When I arrived for my appointment with him, his office manager was someone I knew from church we attended years earlier. We had even worked together on Vacation Bible School. Things were so much easier and more comfortable. I have had such a peace. I have just followed all the steps laid out before me. There is no fear, or worry. I have so many medical problems that I feel this is what God wants me to do to continue what work I can do for him. I have so much to do in a short time. I may get worried later but I doubt it. Thank you God.
In all thy way acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6
My Hoops
Oct 26, 2006
I do not have insurance to worry about. My policy does not cover WLS. So my hoops are small. I almost wish I did. There is soooo many things I could do with the $$$$$, a new car, an addition to the house? But this is my life I am talking about this time. Not how skinny I am going to be but how it will feel with lower blood pressure, energy, being able to sleep all night and not be sleepy all day. Being able to walk and not have feet and legs and hips that pain me. I think I am more excited about health changes than I am about body changes. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!
My husband says the money will be well worth it, but still it is a lot of money. Charlie (DH) told me it could be my anniversary gift. We will be married for 37 years November 26. We have had some very tough times money wise in or married life. We own our own company and after 28 years in business we finally have a more comfortable life.
I have an appointment tomorrow with Dr Houston. I was scheduled for the an appointment Oct. 25 but Holly at his office called and I got to see him last week. He had questions about doing a Lap Band if I had a Hernia of the upper stomach. I had my Upper GI Monday (yuk!). Dr Houston will tell me if I am a Lap band or RNY. RNY is even more money!!!! I am not excited or afraid or anything today. Just kind of worried about the traffic in Nashville in the morning hours. I don't travel downtown often. I think this peace comes from God, I will explain that in a later post.
My husband says the money will be well worth it, but still it is a lot of money. Charlie (DH) told me it could be my anniversary gift. We will be married for 37 years November 26. We have had some very tough times money wise in or married life. We own our own company and after 28 years in business we finally have a more comfortable life.
I have an appointment tomorrow with Dr Houston. I was scheduled for the an appointment Oct. 25 but Holly at his office called and I got to see him last week. He had questions about doing a Lap Band if I had a Hernia of the upper stomach. I had my Upper GI Monday (yuk!). Dr Houston will tell me if I am a Lap band or RNY. RNY is even more money!!!! I am not excited or afraid or anything today. Just kind of worried about the traffic in Nashville in the morning hours. I don't travel downtown often. I think this peace comes from God, I will explain that in a later post.
Decision Made
Oct 16, 2006
I pulled the trigger!!!!! I faxed my papers in to Centennial last night at Midnight. They called to confirm receiving them this morning. I then called Dr. Houstons office for a Surgery Consult before 8 A.M. Okay I have an appointment for October 25. YEPPPPPPPHeeeeee! I just got to get my head around this in the next week and a half. I just realized this could happen quicker than I think. I have just been thinking how long the average person has to wait because of Insurance. But I don't have all that stuff to worry about. Now my surgery could be just around the corner so to speak. My little bear is doing the happy dance today.
October
Oct 15, 2006
After reading and looking up previous post I thought that maybe the Lap Band was for me. I checked into the hospitals in Nashville along with Dr's. Centennial was having a Seminar October 14 so I signed up. I went alone.
My husband was playing golf. He had already told me if this was what I wanted to do he would make it an Anniversary gift. No questioning, no telling me why I shouldnt have it or anything. He really understands the medical problems that I am having and how this could help considerably. I do not have Insurance that will cover this so it will all be out of pocket.
After I got there I kept asking myself why? That voice in my head kept saying you enjoy eating a whole piece of cake or the whole cake, you love have a milkshake (a large milkshake). Then another voice would say "your killing yourself, you've got to do this." Then I would think about Thanksgiving Dinner and Christmas Dinner and how miserable I would feel afterward. And about just how quilty and depressed. I am cutting my life short if I continue down this road. I can be healthy again.
After asking the questions that concerned me, about Esophagus and hernia repair, I knew I was a good candidate.
Since I don't have to jump through hoops for an insurance company. I can proceed to making an appointment with a Dr. and continue the process. Lots to think over in the next day. Do I do this or not.
My husband was playing golf. He had already told me if this was what I wanted to do he would make it an Anniversary gift. No questioning, no telling me why I shouldnt have it or anything. He really understands the medical problems that I am having and how this could help considerably. I do not have Insurance that will cover this so it will all be out of pocket.
After I got there I kept asking myself why? That voice in my head kept saying you enjoy eating a whole piece of cake or the whole cake, you love have a milkshake (a large milkshake). Then another voice would say "your killing yourself, you've got to do this." Then I would think about Thanksgiving Dinner and Christmas Dinner and how miserable I would feel afterward. And about just how quilty and depressed. I am cutting my life short if I continue down this road. I can be healthy again.
After asking the questions that concerned me, about Esophagus and hernia repair, I knew I was a good candidate.
Since I don't have to jump through hoops for an insurance company. I can proceed to making an appointment with a Dr. and continue the process. Lots to think over in the next day. Do I do this or not.
About Me
Mt. Juliet, TN
Location
32.9
BMI
Feb 16, 2004
Member Since
