Mrs_J
I HAVE ALWAYS CONSIDERED MYSELF OVER WEIGHT, CHUBBY, HEALTHY, BIG BONEDED.......ALL THAT. THERE WERE TIMES IN MY LIFE WHEN I DEALT WITH IT AND THOUGHT "OH, I LOOK GOOD, I'M GOOD" I STILL GOT ATTENTION AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANY HEALTH PROBLEMS AND MY FAMILY LOVED ME, SO.....I WAS GOOD. UNTIL I SAW PICTURES OF MYSELF AND THEN I STOPPED TAKING THEM. I WOULD ALWAYS MAKE SURE I HAD THE CAMERA IN HAND AND I TOOK ALL THE PICTURES....RIGHT!!!
MY WEIGHT WOULD GO UP AND DOWN AND I WOULD LOSE 10 - 12 POUNDS, BUT AS SOON AS I STOPPED, I GAINED IT ALL BACK AND SOME. I HAVE TRIED DIET PILLS, WATER PILLS, WEIGHT LOSS CENTERS, ALL KINDS OF GYM MEMBERSHIPS......FAD DIETS EVERYTHING, ONLY TO FIND MYSELF BACK WHERE I STARTED. SO FINALLLY I GAVE UP AND GAVE IN AND DECIDED THAT THIS WAS ME AND I NEEDED TO BE HAPPY WITH ME...AND THATS ALL THAT MATTER, RIGHT?? WRONG.
THEN I STARTED GETTING SICK AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY. I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND WAS SO SHOCKED AND HURT AND ANGRY WHEN I FOUND OUT I HAD DIABETES. THAT REALLY HURT MY FEELINGS. I STARTED THE MEDS AND BEGAN TO EDUCATE MYSELF AS MUCH AS I COULD. I MANAGED TO LOSE 10 POUNDS AND KEEP IT OFF AND FOR A WHILE I FELT GOOD. UNTIL I SAW MYSELF IN A HOME VIDEO. THAT WAS ANOTHER BIG SHOCKER. I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT WAS ME. I NEVER SAW MYSELF THAT WAY. I NEVER LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND SAW "THAT". SO THERE I WAS, HURT AND DISAPPOINTED ALL OVER AGAIN. AND AGAIN, I JOINED A GYM AND PROMISED MYSELF TO GET THE WEIGHT OFF. THEN CAME THE HBP AND THE HIGH CHOLESTEROL. WHAT ELSE COULD HAPPEN?
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD QUALIFY FOR THE SURGERY. I HEARD YOU HAD TO BE 100LBS OVER TO GET IT. I EVEN WATCH SOMEONE STUFF THEMSELVES AND EAT ANY AND EVERYTHING TO BE 100LBS OVER. I WASN'T GONNA DO THAT, I COULDN'T. I JUST DECIDED TO LIVE MY LIFE AS IT WAS, LIMITED, LIFELESS AND SADDEN.
I FINALLY ASKED THE DOCTOR IF I QUALIFIED AND WITHOUT ANY HESITATION SHE SAID "YES". THAT WAS ANOTHER SHOCKER, BUT A HAPPY ONE. SHE CHECKED MY INSURANCE TO BE SURE AND CAME BACK WITH A SMILE AND A REFERRAL. THAT WAS THE HAPPIEST DAY I HAVE HAD IN A LONG TIME. EVERY SINCE THEN, I HAVE HAD A DIFFERENT OUTLOOK ON LIFE. I AM HAPPY JUST KNOWING "A CHANGE IS GONNA COME". EVERY APPOINTMENT I HAVE IS EXCITING AND JOYFUL BECAUSE IT IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE NEW ME. I STILL LOVE ME AND ACCEPT ME AS IS, I JUST LOVE THE THOUGHTS I HAVE OF THE DAY WHEN MY BODY CAN BE FIT AND HEALTHY. I DREAM OF THE DAY I CAN BE PHYSICALLY FIT AND RUN AND MOVE AND LIVE AND FINALLY BE HAPPY WITH WHAT I SEE IN A PICTURE.
