shannon B.
Jan. 27,2004
Hi, I am a 33 year old mom of 2, Billy(14) and Elizabeth(2). My husband is Mark, we have been married for 3 years now. As I always have said Billy was from a prvious "DORK RELATED ACCIDENT", not that my son is a dork, just the sperm donor. Anyway I can't really remember not being the "big" kid, I remember a time when I didn't feel fat. however I was always told by my grandmother how worthless I was, she hated me. And just in case I didn't truly feel worthless well my life through sexual molestation all over the place and multiple times by multiple people. It has taken several years of motherhood, parenting classes, counseling and HUGE achievments (overcame drug addiction) so that I finally feel halfway normal.
I am nowhere near where I "think" I should be financially, career, and wieght. So I have begun this journey, with a little help and humor and hope to begin new, with my "REAL SELF" by my side hand and hand we will take this walk together for the first time in my life..........Here I go......
Feb.2,2004
Well guess what??? After faxing all my doc's release of info consents I find out that here in MISERY you have to PAY for your medical records!!!! My first $50.00 to paper work....arghhh. No wonder this process is so demanding and exaustive, you get elated at the possibility of realizing your dreams just to get stalled out again....... I have read many profiles and thought well my expierience won't be like that, yeah what ever!!! At least I know that there is light at the end here, and once I get everything sweet Nola will get it to my insurance company......It should go more smoothly from there, I pray........
Feb. 7, 2004
I got all of the paperwork to Nola yesterday!!!!!! Didn't have to pay for a thing, turns out PCP office couldn't find my medical records, so when they did find them their medical records gal copied them for free for me, YEAH!!!!! So Nola says that she will submit my letter for aproval to the insurance company on Moday..........Now we wait, I'm so excited!!! I can't wait to be a loser!!!!!!
Update Feb. 23,2004
Waiting, waiting, waiting, can you say I'm still waiting....... Well my leeter for approval is still waiting at the insurance company. So here I am wondering when I will have a heart attack. STRESS!!!!!! Anyway I will update you later.....
March 10, 2004
Well where do I start, oh yeah I"M STILL WAITING............but I have learned how to just be patient, which by the way is a HUGE lesson for me. Don't ya just sometimes want to tell God, "OK I have either failed or passed this test, either way can we move on now?" Well the husband is back to normal after a long fight with Pnuemonia, what a trying time that was ,but it gave me something to focus on. He is fine and back at work, the kids are kids.......What more can ya say about that? EXCEPT....that Billy is 14 and Elizabeth is 2, so I have a teenager ( who thinks he is at the peak of his intelligence) and a terrible 2 year old (who KNOWS that she can manipulate any given situation). If you would like to stop reading for a moment and pray I understand, I pray for myself often........So now that I have told this entire site everything I think I will end this for now........keep your fingers crossed for me.......
March 24,2004
This is it folks!!!! I called UHC and found out that I AM APPROVED!!! After all the waiting and anxious feelings, I got approved after the first letter. I am SO LUCKY and was beginning to get worried, I had read several posts about UHC denying WLS. But alas the WLS Gods have spoken and thus it shall be.......I'm gonna be a LOSER!!! So as of now I have told anyone who will listen to me, posted it on the boards, and have called sweet Nola at my surgeon's office and am waiting for her to call me to set up the intial appointment. I fell like a show dog ready to jump through the hoops, hehehe...... By the way Becky the receptionist at Dr. Hoehn's office is HILARIOUS!!! She is also doing the Happy Dance for me!! So I will be posting a thousand questions later on and sitting here anxiously ready to get this thing started, I can't wait to be a LOSER TOO!! Thank God for this site and all og my AMOS family members, your support and love means more than you'll ever know, I truly could not have gotten this far without all og you.......And to my AMAZING husband, you know just what to say and are my bright star in this life, I would not want to go through this life or journey without you, you and the kids are truly God's gift to me, thank you for not being perfact, but rather perfect for me.......I'll update you guys as soon as I get this part of my journey rolling......
March 30, 2004
I called Dr. Hoehn's office and set up my initial consultation for April 7th, I can not wait!!!! I am so excited, I will schedule my surgery when I have my initial consultation....... I have already been cleared cardiac, and on April 5th I have my pulmonology appt. to have a chest xray and a PFT done......so I will only need to have my psych eval and nutrition appt. set up by Dr. Hoehn's nurse, oh and also labs........So I will keep ya all updated, say a prayer for me, Thanks for everything........
April 7, 2004
Today is the day I set my appointment.......Pray for me!!!!
Later that night.......
Well I just got home from dinner, we went to eat after our appointment because we got out so late.....OK I am going under on May 20th....I am so excited I can't wait. Dr. Hoehn is wonderful, very sweet and informative. Angelique is a sweetheart........Thanks for everything will update later..........the saga continues........
April 11 Easter Sunday
It's late Easter night, we had a HUGE Easter dinner, ham, turkey, potatoes augratin, veggies and rolls.........You'd think that I would be upset or mourning letting go of our "food traditions" but I am not. I am more nervous than I have ever been, not scared just nervous. I am not afraid of the surgery, just the aftermath, it is so hard to believe that I will not be tied to this addiction.........my stomach is in knots and for once in my life I am taking control of this........I wanted to share something I realized, I LOVE FOOD, why?? Because as a child my drug addicted abusive father would waste all of our money on everything but us, which left us without food. I can remember my mother frying flour tortillas in butter, spreading peanut butter on them and rolling them up, we called them peanut rolls. I also remember her making cookies with Trix cereal in them instead of chocolate chips, at that age I LOVED THEM. The point is that when you are so abused and deprived of lifes basic needs at such an early age you become permanently intertwined with it, you HUNGER to not feel this way again. Something Angelique said to me at my Dr.s appt. really struck a cord deep inside of me. She said, "you will never feel that hungry again". My soul shook, could this be true? The mere thought of it terrifies me, and makes me hunger for that feeling. I now more than ever know that God has placed me here, at this time, with these people, he has sent them with his message to me..........I hear it now. So this surgery is not only about the freedom of weight and better health as I have "claimed", it is also about breaking those chains and breaking free from those ideals that have become a part of my soul. Now I know what the anxiety and fear is about.....By the grace of God there go I............Please God guide my surgeon and his team, heal this body so that this soul may be set free once again...........I'm on my way........
April 26,2004
2 More days until my birthday, 23 more days until surgery, WOOHOO!!!!!! Well let's see, I have seen Dr. Sabapathy once (he's WONDERFUL!!!) and will see him this wednesday for the testing part of his eval, I also see the dietician this week, I can't wait for that. I feel like that will be where I learn the most of what I will really use........ So far I have my cardiac clearence, pulmonology clearance, part of my psych eval, chest x-ray, and EKG. Yesterday I found out that the Bariatric Unit director is a house supervisor that I use to work with (one that I adore) so I am feeling as though it was meant to be and everything is falling into place.............HOWEVER i DO have 23 more days to go and anything can happen......Right now it is a week to week basis, I am just looking at what I need to do for this week and working............gotta go get the boy off to scholl and run after the 2 year old.......tp tell ya the truth I am looking forward to the vacation from work and having the hubby home to handle all of this..........see ya later
April 30th
So Doc Hoehn's nurse Linda calls me today, guess what??? They had a cancellation and want to know if I want to have surgery on May 10th, HECK YES!!!! That is 10 days sooner, and I am ALL about getting this thing DONE!!!!!! So I will find out on Monday if we are good to go...........Mary Kay if your reading this YOU HAD BETTER CALL ME!!!!!! Husband is a little taken by it, and scrambling to make sure we can get everything in place, but it gives me something to focus on and get my nerves in motion, I ALWAYS work best under pressure..........type A personality, ya think that is why I am a control freak??? Hmmm perhaps I should talk to someone about that............NAAAAAAAA LOL, Ok I gotta go I know Mary Kay will be calling any second now..........I'm sending my best ESP brainwaves to her...........see ya, send a prayer for me....
Late at night May 4th
Just sitting here and can't sleep, I have my GTT ( glucose tolerance test) and other pre-op labs tomorrow, along with my pre-anesthisia appt, pre-admitting at the hospital and then off to Dr. Hoehn's office for my LAST pre-op visit!!!! Next time he see's me I will be filled with a joyous glow that only one can get from VERSAID!!!!!! Yes you read it right folks, by the time I see Dr. Hoehn again I won't care who does what to whom and for how many cookies.........LOL aren't neds a wonderful thing???? Just kidding, although I am looking forward to relaxing and being on the other end of this thing, I just want to come through it and brgin the healing process, physically and emotionally..........Oh yeah if I haven't posted this before, I LOVE YOU Marky-man, you always seem to amaze me, your shoulders are broad and you have literally carried me theough this, you are my favorite Angel.........I love you honey......
Ok should anything happen I want everyone to know that this is my choice, I now the reality of "what if's" The truth is I'm tired and would rather be dead than this, I think that when we get to this end we must make that choice to risk it all. Please don't put me on the "memorial page" WLS is NOT who I am neither is being MO, remember people for what they were, multi-layed 3 dimensional people who we loved...... I am blessed to have my surgeon, Dr. Hoehn if your reading this, THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE AND MY SOUL!!!!!! I know that God has lead me here, there are so many things that add up for me, this is not blind faith but direction from my father in Heaven........OK enough spiritual stuff I'll start to cry and get all of these damn keys wet........... Pray for me, pray for my family, and pray that Dr. Hoehn is gifted on Monday..........thanks
May 9, 2004 Mother's Day
Well I'm all ready, got the bags packed, house is semi-clean (what do ya want when you've got 2 kids and a hubby?) Anyhoo I wanted to update my profile and put down how I'm fealing............NAUSEATED!!!!! Mag Citrate SUCKS!!!!! I'm hungry and feal that need to binge, but at the moment of panick I realized it was just a fleeting thing, I am drinking TONS of water..............After tomorrow I'll be a loser..........I'll update ya when I get home...........
May 21, 2004 11 days post-op
Well due to many requests I am updating my profile.......let's see what's been going on??? OH yeah I'm a loser!!!!! 15 pounds gone in the first week, how was surgery you ask??? QUICK, somewhat painful, but with great drugs, and a couple of minor complications with gas and my incisions. The first week was the hardest, everything is sore, no energy, tough to eat or drink, irritable pouch, gas and just plain feel like crap syndrome. But it got a little better everyday and that made it more tolerable. Thank God my husband has been home with me, he is an angel, he helped with everything, including helping to clean up my "backside". Yes you read it right, you can't even turn to get your rear-end cleaned up after thaose nasty black bowel movements, my advice if ya don't have a DH like mine.........Do what My friend (evil twin) Mary Kay is doing get one of those back sponge scrubbers on a stick........I thought that was pretty inginious of her, of course she gets that from me.
Well now at this stage of the game I am finally figuring out HOW much to eat, when, and if I am hungery and if I am full. At first everthing hurts so it is so hard to tell, and the amount you eat at first will not be the amounts you eat in a week or so, so ya really got to listen to your body, measure how much you are REALLY eating, and watch the time. I noticed that I wasn't eating enough or close enough. I now measure my food, about a 1/4 cup each meal, and MAKE sure I eat every 3 to 4 hours. I feel so much better now, I am drinking protein shakes twice a day and my energy is FINALLY coming back.......
OK now to admit to the "emotional" side effects..........Well as I told Mary Kay the other day I have two moods, bi and polar. One minute I was yelling at my husband because he isn't helping enough and the next I was crying because he is so mean to me (none of which was true). Then all of a sudden the wierdest thing happened.......I GOT HORNY!!!!! Talk about a shocker, it was then that I realized this is hormonal, now I'm over it.....I don't feel profoundly sad that I gave up food, mainly because I don't feel as though I have, I do find the urges to binge and wonder if I will ever shove the food down again. I know I won't but ya can't help but think about it when the urge gets ya...........So overal it is going great and I would do it all over again, even knowing what I know now and dealing with some of this stuff, I know that I have saved my life, and that it was right for me............so for now see ya later alligator...........
June 13th, 2004
Well I was in the hospital over Memorial Day weekend, had a stricture............I had an EGD and had the stricture dialated the Tuesday after, WHAT A RELIEF!!!! Can we just pause for a moment and pay our respects to Versaid and Demerol??? Didn't feel a thing.............So now I am eating and drinking again, feeling like my old self and getting back to work, THANK YOU GOD!!!! I was so bored, it was nice to get back to more normal things in life, instead of what do I eat, when do I eat, have I taken my meds?, how much water have I gotten in today, blah, blah, blah...........It was nice to focus on something else and gab with the girls and doc's.......
On a lighter note (pun intended) I can now wear (comfortably) jeans that I have not been able to get on since BEFORE I got pregnant with my 2 year-old, YIPPEE!!! I have a doc appt. tommorow and find out just how much I am down, however I did start my period today, Oh and might I just add this for all you ladies.........This surgery does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for you PMS munchy attacks!!!!!!, However peanuts are a wonderful thing, lots of protein and small enough to eat a couple and satisfy your craving.........So I'm moving along doing pretty good I think, we'll see what the doc thinks..I'll update ya later............
June 21,2004
OK OK I know I haven't been here for a while, what can I tell ya??? Hmmmmmm, Oh I'm 6 weeks out and 40lbs. gone forever!!!!! WHOOOHOOO for me!!! I have started seeing Dr. Sabapathy (psych.) again and am really enjoying the time that I have with him, not only does this guy know his stuff but he is very compassionate and understanding, I love talking with him. Father's Day was great, made an iMovie for my DH, lots of pics of our family played to Josh Groban's "you raise me up", made him tears up, made Mary Kay tear up too.............she is so funny.... We had a blast we bar-b-cued, laghed and then ditched the guys and went over to Connie Damico's house.........I have talked several times on the phone to her, but had never met her, SHE IS ADORABLE!!!!!! I hadn't realized that when I began this journey that I would end up meeting such great people and have great friends too boot!!!!! I have met my "evil twin" and adore Connie and her beautiful family.......I am really starting too enjoy this part of the journey...........
July 16, 2004
This update is for Susan.........I met her this week at Dr. Hoehn's seminar, what a sweetie, she informed me that she reads these profiles daily and that I was slackin' LOL.... So what's been up over in my neck of the woods??? A whole heck of a lot!!!! Had another EGD on Thursday, had a stricture again, no big deal got it dialated and I'm feeling pretty good. I have been so busy lately, cleaning, working, and running around with the family.........want to know what's AMAZING to me?? I am not EXAUSTED with my life anymore, I don't take naps during the day, unless it is hubby's day off and I want some cuddling, I have so much more energy. At the seminar I was able to meet a lot of great people and talk about what is to come and protein drinks to buy........they are an invaluable source of support, I really enjoyed it. I can't thank Dr. Hoehn enough, then again how do you thank the person who saved your life?? What do you say?? I don't know that there will ever be enough words to express how I feel and the new life that I am beggining to see..... And MOST importantly how do I say thank you for letting me meet my BEST GIRLFRIEND?? Mary Kay is truly a sister to me and I love her and her children........Got to go for now, I will try to keep this updated............
July 23,2004
So how the heck is everyone today??? I'm good, joined the community center and have been walking the treadmill and lifting weights. Can you say muscles I never knew off...............
Anywho life is well over here, going to Dr. Sabapathy with DH, it is working out well and I am thankful that Dr. Sabapathy is wiling to talk with both off us........Kids are the kids, allthough I think aliens came and switched my 2 year old with a demon, perhaps I should call the priest for an exercisim??? Just kidding, don't bother e-mailing me comments, I birthed them I get to say what I want about them..............
So I am already 57 lbs. down and feeling good, I actually like to exercise now and have lots of energy.........Till later, take care all!!!
August something or other(too lazy to look at the calender)
Ok so I know I've been LAZY......can I get a little love here???
My kids are driving me crazy, all though many would suggest that I already was.........Billy starts school in ONE WEEK!!!!! I have been a stay at home Mom for the last 2 weeks........For the most part I have been trying to play catch-up on all the housework and to do lists. So I am 3 months out 70 lbs down and feeling pretty good..............except I am 3 weeks late on my period, NOPE NOT PREGNANT, did 5 home prego tests last week and I am happy to report that ALL were negative, that can't be a fluke right? RIGHT??? Anywho my OB/GYN said that if I don't start by Monday he will give me progesterone to help me start, there is a GOD!!!! Guess that is what I get for jyst up and quiting my BC in the middle of the cycle, stupid little girl, what was I thinking???
So I have been bad, and NO I don't need redemption, just an extra 10 minutes or so on the treadmill, I have always said that I REFUSE to make my life about food again, I will not go from one end of the spectrum to the other, if I'm an "emotional cheater" (as some put it) then that is my issue noone else's and trust me when I tell ya I can beat myself up better than anyone I know, so here I am deciding that I really don't care what some "experts" say (because they "researched" MO) I'm going to do what is best for ME. I listen to my body and get my vitamins, H2O, protein shake, and eat basically whatever I want, and DAMN don't I feel good and am LOOKING GREAT, if I do say so myself.
Just wanted to update and show everyone just how HORMONAL I really am, what do ya think progesterone or lithium?? LOL I am glad that others read these updates and can laugh and share with us, it always amazes Mary Kay and I when people approach us and know us, they read our profiles and get something from our stories, I am TRULY glad and it is always a GREAT feeling when someone can't wait to meet you and you feel like friends already, I guess this is the great side effect of WLS. Until next time (or when I get rid of da kidz again).....Take care and God bless................
August 20th
So my OB finally gave me progesterone, on the third day of it and no "Aunt Flo" (as Mary Kay puts it) yet, but things are getting better. Not so much stress, I finally made it back to the gym yesterday, did a circuit of wieghts, 15 minutes of stationary bike (which was not enough) so I then did 15 minutes of the treadmill, BOY IT FELT GREAT!!! The stress just started to melt away and for the first time in my life I could feel myself actually relaxing as I exercised. Guess those fitness guru's might just know what they are talking about, go figure.
3 days and counting until the teenager goes back to school, then it will be just me and the baby.........We are going to Carmax today to "look" at minivans, I always said that I would NEVER own a minivan, but we need to get rid of our explorer and it would be nice to have a vehicle big enough to fit everyone, that way mine and Mary Kay's boys don't have to get tied to the roof anymore LOL, just kidding, we make them run for the exercise........... So I'm gonna wrap this up for now, weighed in yesterday at 288.4 lbs., that is the first time in over TEN years that I have seen the 280's.........2 more lbs. then I'll be down 80 lbs WOOHOO!!!!!! take care until next time...........
Sept. 05, 2004
Well let see...........I have been home now for about a month or so and am finally getting into the grove of things.........Only seeing Dr. Sabapathy every month now, he says that I have "evolved", I agree with that. I am no longer willing to put up with rude insensitive people, and I firmly know where I belong in this world. Marky-Man if I haven't said this recently I want you to know that this life would not be as joyful as it has been without you by my side. I am a rock when you are with me, you are the best and I am appreciative that God thought so much of me that he gave me you and our kids.
Ok enough of the sentimental stuff, well after seeing my OBGYN for an IUD placement I have since found that I can not have one, I have cervical scaring, so to place one he would have to take me to the OR, so I got the Depo shot. Now before you freak out like Miss Mary Kay (who loves and worries about me) just know that it motivated me even more to workout and now I am the queen............I have continued to loose weight HOWEVER I find that I want to munch more often and fight head hunger occassionly.
Ok now for some other business, I want everyone to know that I would NEVER change my decision to have this surgery or for that matter the Doctor that I chose to be involved in my care. There are a certainly issues that need to be dealt with when concerning a certain staff member of theirs, however I do believe that the Doctor's realize this and will strive to provide excellent care. They do not want to jepordize their program or the relationships that they have built, word of mouth is everything to them. I can only hope that this transition will take place sooner rather than later.............
And let me be very clear here......Dr. Hoehn is absolutely WONDERFUL!!!! Billie is well informed and very personable, she shows true dignity and grace, and Linda is my Angel, I have said before that she has saved me SEVERAL times.
So here I am 85lbs. down and am greatful that Dr. Hoehn not only saved my life but gave me hopes and dreams.........I am a much happier person than I use to be...............until next time.............
Sept. 8th
OK at my last update I forgot to add about the WONDERFUL thing my hubby did for me 2 weeks ago............HE BOUGHT ME MY FIRST BRAND SPANKIN' NEW CAR!!!!!! I got a Ford Tauras SES fully loaded (got one heck of a deal)....... normally (before surgery and Dr. Sabapathy) we would have argued about all the details, this time he looks me straight in the eye and says, "Is that the one YOU want?" How sweet is that?? Can I just say that I am in LOVE with my car??? OK now to other stuff.....my allergies have been attacking me and I feel like crap.....I haven't worked out since Sunday and am feeling it, how weird is it to have NO energy, feel like hell and still WANT to get up and work out?? Noway that I can, I'm too lightheaded, but I find it ironicthat I use to find any excuse not to exercise and now I'm getting stressed out because I haven't............I finally found some vitamins to take, bariatricadvantage.com sells some in small capsules, so I called Billie and talked to her, figured I would give them a try. I will see ya later, 2 year old needs me........
Sept 19th
Well my iron is a little low, but I have been taking supplements and am starting to feel like my NEW self again, what a drag to feel like the "old" me for awhile. It made me realize just how far I have really come..... Well I have been very busy lately, helped a friend with her sick mother during her daughter's wedding, what a blast that was. Allthough everyone WANTED to feed me, sometimes people just don't get it, what do ya do??? Anywho I am about 8lbs. away from losing 100 LBS.!!!!!!! Can't wait to hit that mark, there is just some sense of relief being that close to that big of a goal. I would have NEVER guessed that I would hit it this early, I expected MAYBE at 6 month not 4 months. Go figure Doc S. really knows his stuff..........Thank god for this gift I feel better and better everyday...........
So I HAD to buy some new clothes for this wedding and of course ya know your mind is still at your old size clothing, well all of those fell right off of my body so I bought some seperates in 2X, can I just say that they are even a little loose on me, imagine my surprise...........Also I am now SEVERLY OBESE instead of super morbidly obese, and quite happy about that one, MarY Kay and I are sick in the head..........We get excited about the silliest things LOL..........Well hope all is great with everyone, till next time.............
October 1st 2004
Wow I can't believe that it is already October...........OK so I am at the gym the other day being miss workout queen, well ya know they surround the gym with the EVIL mirrors, guess what?? I look DAMN GOOD!!!!! I wasn't avoiding the mirrors, noticed how much slimmer I look, feeling great when all of a sudden this young lookin' buff guy starts talking to me!!! He was pretty cool though he just wanted me to know how great I was doing, he is a regular there and has seen how hard I workout. It was very flattering, my husband LOVES that he gets a new girlfriend every couple of weeks, LOL!!
I love this part of my life, I have so much energy, I get everything done now.........Hope all is well in your world, see ya next time.................
PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY KAY!!!! (your still older than me, LOL) and I still love ya even though you fronted me out with Doc Hoehn, thank God he loves us and cracks up at our jokes..............
October 18th
Well let's see what's been going on???? WELL, I hit my first REAL plateau.........6 weeks now and ONE pound gone, ok I know I'm whining, but what I have realized is that you THINK you have dealt with those "old" fears and then WHAMOO, it happens and everything is back in your face. And to top it all off my LOVELY 2 year-old daughter promptly shared a virus with the rest of the family, what a sharing kid she is...... So we are all getting over the "ickies" starting to feel better and for a whole week I haven't weighed myself, I've decided to quit the whole scale thing and start looking at my body and how I feel..........Go figure all that stuff the doc's warn you about, IT'S TRUE!!!!!! Other than that we are getting ready for the holidays, I know it's early but if I don't start know it won't get done, ya know????
Oh also I just started taking 50mg of Zinc everyday for my hairloss.........IT WORKS!!!! I looked up Zinc on the web and found out that zinc deficeincy cuases hairloss, so I went to Wally world and bought a bottle for $3, and within a week the hairloss has stopped!!!! WHEW I wouldn't look good as a female Cojack, ya know? On a lighter side (pun intended) I can fit into my husband jeans now and have promptly stolen his Tommy Hilfiger jeans, my first clothing goal was to fit into a pair of tommy jeans, SCORE ONE FOR THE GOOD GUYS!!!!! Well I will see everyone at the next support group meeting, Dr. Sabapathy is gonna be there talking about the holiday FOOD rush......Boy will I need that one, hope to see everyone there!!!! Take care LOSERS (or soon to be)............
October 25th
Hmmm let's see....Well Mary Kay and I went to try out for Wheel of fortune this weekend, we invited HER sister (notice Liz I said HER) well that dang Liz got up on the stage!!!! WOOHOO for her, I think Mary Kay and were more excited and screamed louder.........So after that we came back to my house hung out and ate chicken, boy were we all tired. My plan for Sunday WAS to stay home and relax, but NO I HAD TO DO IT, I went to Mary Kay's house, you'd think we get tired of being around each other..........Anyway what I'm trying to get to is that Mary KAy, Liz, and I all went shopping for some clothes, I can wear a size 20 Levi's, all the way down from a 30-32!!!!! And then I went to Old Navy and I can wear their xxl an some xl shirts............that's down from a 4x-5x, can I just say that I look DAMN GOOD!!!!! And it amazes me when I look at the shirt and think I will NEVER fit that, then whamo it fits, I guess it just takes time for your self image to catch up with your body image.........Oh and Miss Mary Kay and Liz, Size 18, and I'll be damned if my evil sisters both look beautiful themselves. I am very proud of us, we have worked so hard and try to keep each other on track, it is so paying off...........So I am off to the gym, got to loose about 5 more lbs for the jeans to fit nicely. Mary Kay reminded me we are the stage where loosing 10 to 15 lbs. is loosing another size, how cool is that one??
Anyway I hope to see everyone at the next support group, Char, I LOVED talking to ya, it was FUN!!! Remember you are doing GREAT!!!! AMAZING for only being 2 weeks out, you go girl!!! Well until next time, may the fat melt off of you and the wrinkly skin be hidden by the winter clothing, LOL..............
November 9th 2004
WOW time is FLYING by now!!!! I went to my 6 month check-up yesterday with Doc Hoehn. Ya know I forget how much I like the guy until I am sitting there laughing my a$$ off with him. Well everything is normal and going great, 104 lbs. gone forever, still have 76 more to go, but I am giving myself my full 18 months to do that. I took my little girl with me to see him, she was all dressed up and quite the little lady, off course he walks in and she gets shy, but she monopolized his attention as usual, I guess that goes to show ya what a sweatie he is. Anywho I am looking into the b-12 shots and am thinking that is the best way to go, my PCP said not a problem he would give them to me every month and that I probably will feel much better on them. Support Group was GREAT!!!! I love seeing everyone and laughing with them, I took my husband with me, his first meeting, HE HAD A BLAST!!!! He said now he knows why I love to go, I have the best home family and GREATEST WLS family!!!!
I have started to mentor a couple of pre-ops and I think it helps me more than them, I continue to remember where I was not to long ago, also it makes me feel like I am giving back to someone else. So it helps give me a sense of what I still need to be doing, how fast your body changes, and how far I have come. I thought the mentoring program would be great for the "new people", never did I imagine how much it would impact me, it is a great feeling to help someone else..........
Well I hope that everyone is great, ya know for a bunch of "losers" we're damn good looking!!!! Hope to see everyone at the next meeting, before ya know it Christmas will be around the corner!!!! Love to everyone, promise the next update will be hilarious!!! Ya know it will be around Christmas, and having the 3 kids (husband included in that #) anything is bound to happen!!!!LOL
Dec. 21, 2004
I can not believe it is almost Christmas, 4 MORE DAYS!!!!!!! Anyway things are fine here, reinjured my back and had to have an MRI, the results won't be back until next week sometime, not looking forward to the prospect of ANOTHER surgery, but I'm tired of my back feeling like this...... Well I finally got all the Christmas shopping done, now I have MOUNTAINS of wrapping to do. I am 7 months out and down 118 lbs. WOOHOO!!!! Never thought that would happen, weight loss is SO different at this stage for me, I am not steadily loosing a couple of pounds a week, instead I go for a week or 2 and then WHAMOO...... I'm down 5 to 10 lbs, guess I can't complain, and I must be doing something right. I am only 60lbs away from where I wanted to land and it feels so much closer to me than before surgery. I KNOW I can get there, pretty cool feeling. Well I better go for now, the baby is sick and I need to get her to the Doc's office, thank GOD she LOVES Dr. Barbieri, he is the BEST!!! He is my primary doc and is more of a friend to our family, I highly recomend him if you are looking for a new Primary care doc, he is VERY supportive of this surgery, and not bad to look at either, LOL!!!!!! Well I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and upcoming holiday season, till next time..........
Dec. 31st NEW YEARS EVE!!!!!
Ok once again can you believe how fast this year has gone by??? So I was doing some thinking about new years resolutions, know what I realized???? That every year before this one I PRAYED that this would be the year that I would lose the wieght and not fail again!!! Ok so this year, it is to lose the 2 lbs that I gained over the holidays (hey last year it was 20) and to get back to the gym, pay off the student loan and get back to school (my #1 goal), realize how far I have REALLY come, start seeing the "new" me, show my family and friends how much I really love them, and to be thankful for something wonderful everyday that I am alive.
The kids are home, hubby is on vacation and mommy needs a little ativan (anti-anxiety drug, wonderful thing)LOL, the Christmas tree is still up as well as all of the Christmas decorations, the house is a WRECK!!!! The floors are even sticky (2 year old spilled her juice, found out when my slipper stuck to the floor without my foot, LOL) kids are playing with new treasures, and DARN HUSBAND can't keep his hands off of me, ya know what??? I wouldn't change a darn thing, except for maybe the sticky hands on my hubby........NA!!!!!! Anyway when I look at ALL those DARN goals and "things" that I need to accomplish I must really stop and think about all those things that I have accomplished and am TRULY greatful for this year........
Went to this really cool seminar
Met a REALLY cute Doc, (he's pretty funny too)
Met my BEST friend there too, she's kinda cute too
Met her sister, she became my sis too!!!!
Had a life saving surgery
Went to a great Psyc. and dealt will all those "loose ends"
Lost all those "loose ends" (120 lbs. soo far)
Realized what a lucky woman I am to have my Hubby
Realized just how much he loves me
Saw how darn CUTE I am for the first time
Scared myself in a mirror in the bathroom, didn't realize that person was me.......
Got into a size 18 for the first time in 15 years!!!!!
Started going to group meetings where I have met the MOST WONDERFUL people
Started giving back to new pt.s through the mentor program
Met 2 AWESOME new post-ops, I love both of them
And last but NOT the LEAST...... I FINALLY got healthy and HAPPY!!!!
I hope that 2005 will bring this and so much more to anyone who is looking into WLS, and that this year will be a blessed year for everyone..........SEE YA NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!
Jan. 29th
Wow where did January go? Well let's see what's going on in my meck off the woods........NOTHING!!!!! Football is almost over, house is TOO clean, kids are kids, and we are going stir crazy!!! The couple of days with warm weather were not ebough, it made me want to get out and do my spring cleanong, so now we are back to cuddling up. I have started a few little remodeling projects that have seem to grow...........What do ya do??
Weight loss well lets see......I went to the last support group and listened to Dr. Hitchcock talk about ketosis and decided what the heck if it will jump start my wieght loss again, I'll give it a try....guess what?? IT WORKED, I'll be darn if he didn't know just what he was talking about, however I have since fallen off the wagon........so I need to jump back on and get it going again..... Good news is it only takes me 2 days to get into ketosis and I lost 7 lbs. in one week.......
Well got to go for now, I will talk to everyone soon.........
Feb 15, 2005
Well I had my nine month post-op appointment yesterday, Happy Valentines Day to me........But I am down 125 lbs, I was in the ER the day before with a cramping attack, I had an upper GI and small bowel series about a month ago that found a small spot on my small bowel that is either a stricture or adhesion. So I talked with Dr. Hoehn about it and since it is not blocking my bowels completely and I can get through the attacks (with a little liquid Lortab) I am going to wait and see what happens.......
Also Nola took my nine month picture, I didn't get it done at 6 months, anywho she printed out a before and after picture of me, WOOSSAA!!!!!! I can not believe how far I have come, I get so caught up in the last 50 lbs that I forget about the first 125 that I ave lost..........Ya know what??? I would be happy if I stayed right here (not that I'm giving up on those DARN rolls that are left) What I'm tellin' ya is that DAMN I LOOK GREAT!!!!! I just through on a pair of jeans, t- shirt and sweetshirt jacket (wanted comfort) I got SO many compliments on how cute I looked!!! Yep that's right lil ol me in the housewife clothes looked CUTE!!!WOOHOO.......doing the happy dance........Thanks Nola for the pic's they helped me realize what I really look like, and made me tear up a bit!!! Well got to go for now, hope all is fantastic in your world..........
April 12th
I know, I know, I haven't been a good updater lately, but I have been busy with my new life, so much shopping and so little time, LOL.
OK are ya ready?? I went shopping with the "evil twins" (I say this because I end up spending TOO much $$ on clothes with them, LOL) Anywhoo I bought a GORGEOUS dress (thanks Mary Kay) that fits like a glove AND looks good at the same time!!!! And 3 inch highheals (thanks Elizabeth) OK for the best part.......SIZE 14!!!!!! And am in 16's in jeans, WOOHOO!!!!!!!!! I also started a new job at North Kansas City Hospital, I had to buy new scrubs, can I tell ya I can wear pink without looking like Miss Piggy..........
Well til next time..........
April 27th
Tommorrow is my birthday, the BIG 35!!!! I can't help but think that a year ago I was HUGE, thinking about where I wanted to EAT, and just trying to get to May 10th, now I can't wait to go out with DH and celebrate what I have accomplished this past year..... I don't know what he has planned, but boy do I have the outfit to wear, LOL!!! I found out this morning that I am now officially "overweight" WOOHOO!!!!! Hey this time last year my big 'ol rear end was super morbidly obese...... I LOVE my new job, it keeps me pretty busy and God willing in September I will be attending UMKC's nursing program, it's about time that I grew up, right??? I have to work next Thursday, the product fair, but I'm gonna try and get out a little early and come for the last part of it, well see how crazy the day goes on the unit........Hope everyone is doing great and that our Spring weather gets here soon, I need to buy some summer clothes to show off in, giggle, now everyone knows why I had to get that job!!!!! Talk to ya soon, take care...........
MAY 10th ONE YAER OUT!!!!!
I went to my one year appointment yesterday, 141 lbs down!!!! WOOHOO, I can't believe it has been a year, it seems like yesterday that I couldn't wait to be 6 months out, the time flys by when your having fun, LOL........Dr. Hoehn says I'm doing great, need to have my blood drawn, of course the "baby" (3 year old) always gets most of his attention, but hey she is kind of cute........ I wore my special one year out dress that I bought, can I say I feel pretty in that outfit??? It was nice to hear all of the "You look beautiful" comments...... So today I am seeing Dr. Korentager about my arms and the "girls", like I told my hubby if the doc can make 'em look between 16 and 24 again he is SO the dac FOR ME!!!!LOL I'll post and let ya know how the appointment goes and if I like him or not..........I hope everyone is GREAT and hope to see all the beautiful faces at the product fair this Thursday......til next time...............
May 14th
OK so I went to Doc Korentagers, the WHOLE staff is very nice, had my exam, Dr. Korentager is VERY SWEET. He says not a problem to get the "girls" looking great, can even use my own tissues to "size up" the girls, and I am a perfect candidate for the arms. His exact words were, "I think you will be very happy". The bad news??? My insurance WON'T cover either of the procedures, the good news??? He can do both at the same time and it will run about $7,000, which is better than the $15,000 I thought it would be.......So now I either start saving BIG time or look at some other options........I'm really NOT in a big hurry to rack up some more bills though, so we'll see.....
I also went to the Gap the other day and bought some shirts, I LOVE that I can shop just about anywhere (and that I get to shop A LOT), I HATE that I forget what size I am and when the seasons change I have NO clothes, (hubby doesn't seem to mind the no clothes thing, LOL). All is fine over here, working away and trying to get the ball rolling on school.........Have a great one............
June 26th
So, how the heck is everyone??? Doing great over here, the family went to Oceans of fun a couple of weeks ago.........I wore my cute little pink and black swimsuit and kept asking our 15 year old if I looked okay in it ( still a bit self concious, old habits die hard), anyway do you know what that little punk said to me??? He said, "MOM you look better than half the girls in here, now would you just shut up about it already!" Well he got grounded for telling his mother to shut up, but earned MAJOR bonus points with mom for the looking good comment...........And might I just add that you still judge things according to you old weght, for instance the velocity at which one goes down the waterslide at 364 is much different than at 216.......Let's just say I caught air and had bruises on my shoulderblades and buttbone!!!!! (less padding) Also I went on the Aruba-Tuba ride, ya know the one that you ride down on a tube, I got ALL THE WAY UP THERE (gotta quit smoking) and asked the lovely lifegaurd if she thought I was too big for thos ride, she replied, "Oh NO we have people TWICE your size on this ride", I swear I almost had a cardiac areest right there..........TWICE MY SIZE!!!!!!! Anyway we had a blast and was once again reaffirmed that I DEFINATELY made the right choice for me AND my family to have this surgery.........
The only regret that I will ever have is that while I NEVER wanted my kids to suffer because of my weight, I did realize that they in fact did pay a price for me, I will never be away from that guilt........But I am much happier and a better mother and wife without the baggage on my butt (LITERALLY)
'Til next time..........TTFN
P>S> Feel free to laugh at me and my bruised buttbone, it's ok I WOULD!!!
July 24
Hello there, haven't updated lately, not that I haven't been here reading posts, just nothing really new to say..........Life is life, ya know?? I have however been reading some posts and wanted to post something that I think is VERY important for people looking into this or newly post-op. That is WE ALL have emotional ties to food, not just WLS pts. but EVERYONE, we as MO WLS pts need to give ourselves a break, meaning that DO NOT allow your "old" self to judge your "new" self. Those are old voices in your head, ya know the ones that condemed you EVERY single time you failed?? Those are the ones I'm talking about, I am 14 months out now and 150 lbs. down, how did I get here?? ONE POUND AT A TIME, so what if you only lost 2 pounds in 2 weeks, when was the last time any of us lost a couple of lbs. and didn't put it back on in the next week??? Instead try saying, "WOOHOO I lost another couple of pounds!" Before you know it those "couple of pounds" will add up.
The point is if you feel like you can't stop this thinking and don't know what to do, guess what there is great news for you!! There are MANY of us out there who understand and are willing to listen, also our Docs have given us a great tool to use and abuse, Dr. Sabapathy, he helped straighten out my head when I thought I didn't need NO SHRINK, LOL. Deal with it know because life and it's issues are still here, even this far out of surgery, I am doing well because I have learned how to cope WITHOUT the food, for the first time in my life and it feels great!!!
To those that might be dissappointed due to the "seriousness" of my post well here's a little joke for ya compliments of EVIL twin Miss Mary Kay...............
The Chicken and the Egg are laying in bed, the chicken is leaning against the headbord, smoking a cigarette, and looking QUITE satisfied. The Egg being a bit perturbed , grabs the sheet, rolls over and says, "Well I guess we answered that question!"
Any questions?? feel fre to e-mail me, LOL!!! 'til next time.........
Sept. 19th
Boy it's been a while since I have updated last, not much to talk about, same stuff different day.........EXCEPT, I am trying to get into UMKC, can they make this anymore difficult then it needs to be?? First had to get old college transcripts, then a letter that I have been paying student loan, now they want my HIGH SCHOOL TRANSCRIPTS and ACT scores (do they know how OLD I am??) What's next my first born??(hey at this point they can have the 15 year old, LOL) So I am plugging away at getting into school, want to start in January, and patience pays off right??? And the other thing I am taking care of is that Dr. H is going to take care of my small bowel adhesion (scar tissue) on Oct. 7th, he's going in lap and I should be out of the hospital later that day, WOOHOO!!!! Ya know I don't know if the scar tissue is from RNY or from my gall-bladder removal in '96. But if it was from '96 and I didn't have RNY and weighed 364 this procedure would have to be open and I probably wouldn't have done to well with it, yet another reason to be thankful..........besides now I get to wake up to a one hell of a cute AND sweat guy!!!! (oh and my hubby too, hehehehe, just kidding my hubby is a HUNK, well to me he is). Well that's all that is going on here.........Hope all is well with you, love ya ALL talk to ya later...................
Oct. 9th
Well had my "little" surgery to remove my small bowel adhesion (scar tissue) on Friday.........As you can read all went well, it turns out I had TWO small bowel adhesions, can you say type A personality?? I mean really why have one when you can overachieve and have two??? Got at SMMC at 6am and went straight up to pre-op, the RN I had was wonderful, got my IV on the first try, and even in my hand, which NOONE can ever get. Then while I am sitting there as she is trying to figure out Cerner (new computer system for them) I started to have a little panic attack, just then the GREAT anesthegiologist came in and ordered Decadron and Versaid, ok stop and pay respect.......ommmmmmm.....Boy did I feel great after that, then Doc Hoehn came in, laughed with him, can't remember what smart allick thing I said to him, hope he still loves me, and then off we went. Ya know what?? I had the exact same RN's that I had during my RNY AND they remembered me!!! So we talked and laughed and then BAM I was out cold!!!! Woke up recovery, guess what?? Had the EXACT same RN as RNY!!! She WAS GREAT!!!! The only problem I had was that after surgery I guess I whine and moan alot (not that I am aware of it) well I guess the post-op anesthetic RN took that as a lot of pain and pumped me TOO full of pain meds, when my RN said, "we can't get rid of all of your pain, and what is your number know", I think I must have given he a perplexed look and just drooled on myself cuz she went and got the anesthetic RN and told him NO MORE MEDS!!!! When I finally came around and was able to open my eyes and talk to her I told her my pain level was a MINUS 5!!!!! LOL, but all went well and I got to come home, all is fine, went to Target and Sam's club yesterday, felt good to get out and walk around. The Lortab makes me nauseated so I only took 2 doses yesterday and probably won't take any today........Can I tell ya that recovery this time is SO much easier!!! And that darn Doc. H is the cutest thing, he really took care of me and kept my hubby informed, I am so thankful that I found him!!!! Well talk to ya all later.............
April 27th
WOOHOO!!!!!! I am almost done with this semester of school!!! I have already gotten a couple of my grades, and if I add the grades that I know I will get from the rest of my classes my GPA will be..................3.67!!!!!!!!! Well that says something for an 'ol pickled brain such as mine..........Tommorrow is my 36th birthday, not really doing anything except for studying for my Chemistry final, woohoo, lucky me. I am almost 2 years out still at 204 (160 lbs gone) and feel pretty good, except that with school I haven't been taken that great of care with my diet and vitamins........I know, I know, BAD SHANNON!!! But I have been eating more protein, cutting back on the coffee (real reason my GPA is so good, thank GOD for Starbucks, LOL) and just as soon as I start working full-time this summer (poor bank account) I am going to order the chewable vitamins from Vistavitamins, they are great vitamins and I notice the difference when I take them. Speaking of vitamins, when I wasn't taking them I had really bad leg twiches and cramping, they were extremely painful, and I craved food like ya wouldn't believe. ya know when you scour the kitchen cuz your craving something and everything you try isn't satisfying it? Well turns out my body was getting depleated of vitamins, go figure, I know, BAD SHANNON!!!! So I have been taking some vitamins ones that I can get down and am starting to feel better........Ya know when ya get this far out you tend to forget and get busy, then get yourself into a rut, you really need to continue to pay attention to yourself and what your body is telling you, thank god we can bounce back pretty fast. Well hope all is well with you, take care, until I have the time again, see ya.............
August 17th
Well I thought I would come and update before school starts again and my ENTIRE life is consumed by it. Life continues to go on and the one thing I realize the most at 2 1/2 years out is that Obesity is forever........I mean that the issues that caused me to be obese do NOT magically go away, they are always there and will always be there, now don't get depressed the difference is that I am AWARE of them and make the concious effort to recognize them and deal with them. It seems as though I like to eat at night, I hardly eat all day long but at night I make up for it, gotta change that one........Hubby is wonderful as usual, 4 year old daughter thinks she is 30ish, she takes after her Aunt Mary Kay (hahahaha), and the 16 year old boy, well lets just say he's a Momma's boy that will be lucky to see 18, anyone who has a teenager knows EXACTLLY what I mean!!!!! All in all life is good, financial issues will always be there until I graduate, weight fluctuates and seems to have a mind of its own, family is my TRUE blessing, and I guess ingeneral I am just thankful to be here WITHOUT any co-morbidities..............Sometimes you just have to take a break and realize just how far you have come, I try not to ever FORGET where I have been and where I come from, I never want to loose my way again...........Oh and by the way I FINALLY can look in the mirror and SEE the beautiful woman that looks back at me, now that is not to be conceided, it just means that I now see myself thinner and realize just how beautiful I am, what a great feeling that is..................Until next time, God bless you wherever you are in your journey, and remember this is a continuing journey not a destination.........................love to all
April 3rd
5 more weeks left, then SUMMER SCHOOL, oh well only one or two classes and they are short and sweet!!! Life is good, weight is pretty stable, not really busting my but to loose anymore. It seems as though my body LOVES where it is, in between 200 and 215, yet everyone I lnow thinks I weigh FAR LESS!!! Thank god for small favors. Ya know I am a tall women with a pretty good build, so appearently this is the weight that I am healthy at and I will take that ANYDAY of the week!!! I feel great and my body is very healthy, I love that I will be 37 this year and look and feel like I'm in my late 20's!!! WOOHOO!!!!! I'm at UMKC School of Nursing and the "little girsl" (19 and 20 year olds) are AMAZED at how great I look at this age, OK WHEN DID OVER 35 BECOME OLD?????? Case in ponit, one just found out how old I am, ya know what that silly girl said to me? "Oh my God you look GREAt for AGE", WHAT THE HECK, ok I digress, anywho I guess I should be thankful for formaldehyde, my new skin preserver!!!!Been having fun, extremely busy with school and family, so busy I just saw the evil twin for the first time in over THREE months, man it was good to hang out with my BEST FREIND!!! Love ya Mary Kay.........Liofe is life ups and downs, more ups than downs so I find myself very thankful lately, love to all and someday I will be back at support group!!!
PS. CONGRATULATIONS Brian and Andrea, can't wait to get my hands on that cutie, 24 more days and counting!!! Isn't God great!!!!