Susan Y.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

It's really been far too long since I've posted here.  It's very unfar of me to keep my hurdles and my successes to myself.  There is not one single time that I tell someone I've had gastric bypass surgery and have managed to maintain my weight for ten plus years that they aren't amazed.  I'm not sure why that should amaze them -- it was the purpose of the gastric bypass after all.

I can report today that I am 110 lbs ... a bit more than I'd like to weigh but unfortunately, there are outside factors that have been wreaking havoc with my system.

First, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in December of 2004.  One of the side affects of my daily injection is weight gain.  :-p  I did get up to 125 lbs last year but with walking five miles per day and cutting back on indulgences like honey roasted cashews, I've managed to get back down to 110.  I plan on losing 5 more to get down to 105 lbs which is where I like to hangout.  Actually, I'm lying.  I'd rather hangout at 97 lbs but I'm beginning to realize that 97 lbs really was too thin for me and not at all healthy.  Still, being in a Size 0 was pretty damned fun.

At first, when I first started gaining weight, I was extremely surprised.  Then I was told by a gastroenterologist that my pouch will stretch some which was all the more reason to watch what I put in my mouth.  I now accomplish saying "no thanks" by envisioning whatever is it I'm tempted by stuck to my butt, hips or belly.  It does the trick.  I also remember laying on the bed to zip up my pants and nearly pulling my back out.  No thank you, I'll pass.

I actually feel okay in my clothes and I'm told I still turn heads.  My best friend often catches young men looking at me and she scolds them by shaking her finger at them and saying, "She's old enough to be your mother."  It makes me laugh.  It's a compliment.  I've been in a relationship (my first since my surgery) for over ten years now.  I found that being thin doesn't teach you relationship skills and being fat isn't why men didn't love me.  It's what's inside.  If a man won't look inside but only sees the outside then he can't possibly love me.  Unfortunately for me, my body was what attacted him in the first place.

If I'm going to be totally honest, here, I was sexually insatiable after my surgery.  My boyfriend reaped the benefits but things changed -- especially after hormonal changes.  Men, sex, etc -- doesn't equal happiness.  That has to come from inside of oneself.

I have had a couple of SERIOUS bouts with anemia and have finally settled into a vitamin / supplement regimen and NEVER, EVER deviate from it.  I've learned my lesson!  Hospitalization and transfusions are no freakin' fun.

I have attended a few weight loss surgery seminars with my best friend (whose surgery date is swiftly approaching) and I've learned things I never knew or heard.  It seems that since my surgery there's been many more precautions taken, more stringent testing and the patients are given much more info than I ever had.  That's wonderful that there have been so many strides made. I kinda makes me a pioneer and that's okay with me.  Although I wish I could afford a tummy tuck, I still wear my "stem to stern" scar like a badge of courage.

I don't regret having gastric bypass although I wish that other doctors and medical professionals would take into account how gastric bypass can change procedures.  Last year, I had a bowel obstruction and they had to insert a NG tube.  We managed to get it down my nose, down my throat, inside my stomach and then they kept on pushing.  It started hurting badly ... an NG tube is not supposed to hurt -- especially, not in the stomach.  I told them to stop and they wouldn't so I ripped the thing out.  They fussed at me and I told them "NO, NO, NO, NO!"  That was that.  They had a surgeon come in and tell me I needed it and I fired him.  I told them until they could assure me they talked to a weight loss surgeon and realized how small my stomach is and exactly where to stop with an NG tube then no go.  Fortunately, after a shot of morphine, my body relaxed and started to take care of itself.

I'm still trying to keep my meds down to a minimum which isn't easy now that I have MS.  But, I feel that dumping all that medication into my tiny little stomach isn't going to be good for it.  My doctors work with me for which I'm grateful.

The think I'd like to share more than anything is that this life since surgery, has been a dream for me.  Yes, there have been nightmarish times but not because of surgery.  Don't be discouraged.  Don't quit.  DON'T EVER QUIT!  Don't let anyone rob you of your dream.  Keep the faith.  Keep trying.  Gastric bypass isn't about vanity ... it's about choosing life.  Living is freakin' great!!!!

Remember, it's NOT A "MAGIC PILL".  Please be sure that you are emotionally equipped to face the changes that you will encounter and also remember that being thin doesn't equal happiness, just as food doesn't equal love.  Something made me get fat and I promise, it wasn't just the food.  It was WHY I ate food.  It was hard to give up and sometimes I still want to eat for reasons other than hunger but that's when I know I need to look inside and fix it -- not try to fix it with external things.  If you use food as a coping mechanism and that mechanism is taken away, you will have major problems.  Gastric bypass is about getting healthy -- physically and emotionally which is going to improve the quality of life.  For some of us, it gave us back our life.

Lastly ... always, always, always do what the doctor says.  Follow doctors orders and when you say, "I can't" then you've already defeated yourself.  You CAN.  Maybe only one day at a time, one hour at a time but you can do!!!!  Hundreds have done it before you.  Believe!  You can do it.

Hang in there kids, it's going to be a wonderful life!