Two years out
May 21, 2008
No I am not the best blogger around. But I thought I would update everyone on my status. Right now, I weigh about 186 lbs. I still have another 20 lbs to reach my goal weight, but I am content where I am.
My marriage has survived the change and so has my family. Surprisingly, I can eat whatever I want (within reason) without any dumping syndrome. But I choose (most days) to stick with the high fiber and protein diet. Fried foods still appeal to me, but the excessive gas it causes makes it rarely worth actually eating it. I do not drink sugary drinks at all anymore; everything is sweetened with Splenda.
I will admit I have not been as consistent as I had originally intended to be with my physical activity, but I have had some medical issues unrelated to the surgery itself which have hindered my progress on that front.
I am still looking for work, but now I feel confident that my size will not be an impediment to getting hired as I believe it was previously. Even with all the complications and sacrifice. I would still have the surgery again tomorrow. It has helped to give me back my life, improved my relationship with my children and husband and made me unafraid to face the mirror every morning. What a change two years makes. I was a size 26/28 at the beginning of this journey and how I can fit anything from a size 10 to a size 14, depending on the cut and style of the clothing.
As soon as I am able, I will post some recent after photos of myself. For now just know I am healthy, happy and satisfied with my results.
July 2007
Jul 07, 2007
Yeah, yeah, I am a fair weather poster, alright? Anyway, my life has gotten way busy these days. I am so close to my goal weight, but my weight loss has slowed somewhat, so I guess I will have to be happy with what I have so far. I am down to 187 lbs. For those of you who rememer, I began this journey at over 300 pounds, so I have in fact made it to (a) "one-derland" and (b) the Century Club-- over 100 ponds lost. I have 24 more pounds to reach my goal but as I said, I am not going to sweat it too much. This surgery has changed my life. I am more involved with my kids, more engaged in my marriage and more determined to reach for other dreams I have for myself.
My goodness I even own t-shirts and shorts now and I actually wear them in public!!! Now I will not go so far as to claim you will see me in a two peice at the beach anytime soon, but I do look alright in my one-piece at the local Y pool.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wkdeucd/">
My goodness I even own t-shirts and shorts now and I actually wear them in public!!! Now I will not go so far as to claim you will see me in a two peice at the beach anytime soon, but I do look alright in my one-piece at the local Y pool.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wkdeucd/">
Now I can update...
Dec 04, 2006
Alrighty, let's see. I have successfully added all my writings from the old profile as one blog entry in the new one... Man, you leave for a couple of months and the entire game changes on you!
I am still losing weight, but at a slow steady pace. I guess that is good. Many people tell me that I look great and not sick or like I am wasting away as some do who undergo WLS. Right now I am 219 lbs, which is a good place for me. I have lost a little over 80 lbs since May. I still have about 55-60 lbs to go in my weight loss journey.
Time for confession: I have not been doing everything I should (and could) do to maximize my weight loss. I have not been as physically active as I was in the beginning. Some of this is due to the Fibromyalgia, but I confess it is mainly my own inability to be consistent with an exercise program. Oh well, I will do better; I have to because I have big plans for next year. My younger sister is getting married in June and I have a really big trip after that. I will be going to General Synod as a delegate for UCC. For those who don't know, UCC stands for United Church of Christ. We are a progressive Christian denomination and I am very active in my church, both locally and nationally. Recently I was nominated to be on the Local Ministries board. A very exciting opportunity for me. When I think back on what my life was a few years ago and what it is unfolding to be today,, I can't help but to raise all the praise and glory to Jesus. He has been so, so good to me!! I have friends and purpose, and I have not felt better physically in years. I play with my children now instead of observing and it is great! My husband and I are still going strong and he constantly tells me how proud he is of me and how great and sexy (who, me???) I look now.
Of course there are still some demons in my life I struggle with. I have to learn how to accept my body as it undergoes this transformation. I still do not see that I am not that huge obese woman I was earlier this year. I still have trouble looking at myself in the mirror or agreeing to take pictures. But, I have had some "Aha" moments. I am wearing a size 16 now and for the first time I am shopping in stores that are not for the "fuller-figured" woman. I just bought a shirt and jacket at the Gap. I have not been able to do that for about twelve years! I even lost a shoe size, going from an 11W to a regular size 10! oh happy day! Now when I get to the gym and begin to work on the gut that I have--after three children--I hope to get down to a size 14 in the pants. I still have not found employment, but I am leaning more and more to the graduate school option. All in all life is good right now. I am content.
I am still losing weight, but at a slow steady pace. I guess that is good. Many people tell me that I look great and not sick or like I am wasting away as some do who undergo WLS. Right now I am 219 lbs, which is a good place for me. I have lost a little over 80 lbs since May. I still have about 55-60 lbs to go in my weight loss journey.
Time for confession: I have not been doing everything I should (and could) do to maximize my weight loss. I have not been as physically active as I was in the beginning. Some of this is due to the Fibromyalgia, but I confess it is mainly my own inability to be consistent with an exercise program. Oh well, I will do better; I have to because I have big plans for next year. My younger sister is getting married in June and I have a really big trip after that. I will be going to General Synod as a delegate for UCC. For those who don't know, UCC stands for United Church of Christ. We are a progressive Christian denomination and I am very active in my church, both locally and nationally. Recently I was nominated to be on the Local Ministries board. A very exciting opportunity for me. When I think back on what my life was a few years ago and what it is unfolding to be today,, I can't help but to raise all the praise and glory to Jesus. He has been so, so good to me!! I have friends and purpose, and I have not felt better physically in years. I play with my children now instead of observing and it is great! My husband and I are still going strong and he constantly tells me how proud he is of me and how great and sexy (who, me???) I look now.
Of course there are still some demons in my life I struggle with. I have to learn how to accept my body as it undergoes this transformation. I still do not see that I am not that huge obese woman I was earlier this year. I still have trouble looking at myself in the mirror or agreeing to take pictures. But, I have had some "Aha" moments. I am wearing a size 16 now and for the first time I am shopping in stores that are not for the "fuller-figured" woman. I just bought a shirt and jacket at the Gap. I have not been able to do that for about twelve years! I even lost a shoe size, going from an 11W to a regular size 10! oh happy day! Now when I get to the gym and begin to work on the gut that I have--after three children--I hope to get down to a size 14 in the pants. I still have not found employment, but I am leaning more and more to the graduate school option. All in all life is good right now. I am content.
Everything from the old blog...
Dec 04, 2006
OK, so I have not been here in quite a while, but I been busy, you know what I am saying? Well I am going to attempt to add all of my posts from this year into this new format.... wish me luck.
5/3/06- OK So now I am getting a little terrified. Much thanks to those who sent me a word of support on my support page and those on the BAF who also lifted my spirits and sent up prayers. I can't imagine what my life will be like after the surgery, but I know God is with with me on this journey. Now, If only I can find out how I can update my own page.... help!!!
5/13/06- OK I have begun my liquid pre-op diet today. It is unpleasant, but I have found that drinking the protein drink ice cold or almost frozen has help with the funky texture (it's kind of slimy). I have worked myself up to drinking 96 oz of water a day (4 regular water bottles) and I do not anticipate water intake being too much of a problem this week. One thing I have noticed that helps me maintain my discipline: Give yourself a 15 minute rule. Once a craving hits, drink a glass of water (4-8 oz), then wait for 15 minutes. The craving has usually gone away by then. I am up to 45 minutes (7-9 miles, depending on my speed) on the recumbent stationary bike at the YMCA. I need to get there more often though, I have only been going 1-2x per week. Not good enough I know. I will do better this week. One good thing: Since I have been going to the Y and upping my H2O intake, I have lost 4.5 lbs! Yay me!!!!
5-15-06
4 days more...
So I am in the home stretch now for pre-op. I am on a liquid diet, which is difficult, but not impossible. I am getting in all the H2O the Doctor. wants, but the protein drink, I am having a problem with. I should be drinking 5 servings of protein drink mixed with 8 oz of skim milk everyday, but I can only mange three due to my lactose intolerance. My NUT gave me the go ahead to use a more aggressive protein powder with 60g of protein per serving and to mix it with fruit juice or water. I am sure this will help with the tummy problems.
I wanted to post a letter to all the forums and my profile page explaining why I have decided to have this surgery. I post this for everyone I have met through ObesityHelp, as well as those who do not understand why some of us make this "drastic" decision to undergo surgery to treat morbid obesity:
As I get closer to my surgery date, I feel a sense of calm taking over. I know God is with me, because I am with God. I have fought this weight battle for so long and have watched relatives suffer the horrible side effects of obesity, including stroke, heart attack and limb amputation. I am doing this for my three kids. I want to see them grow up, I want to participate in their lives. I want to make memories with them instead of unfulfilled promises to them. I am doing this because I want to beat the odds of divorce in our country and dance with my husband at our 50 th wedding anniversary (we are creeping up to 10 in 1997). I am doing this because I want to run, jump, play, dance, skate, bike, swim and hike. I am doing this because I am tired of avoiding mirrors, clothing stores and lights (in the privacy of my bedroom). I am doing this as an ultimate expression of self love: I love me more than food, more than my fear and more than my self doubt. I go into this surgery with my eyes wide open. There can be complications, some of which can be fatal. I accept that because my life as it is right now, has possibly fatal consequences. I know there will be pain and I accept that, because my life right now has a fair amount of pain. I know I will be making a radical change to my lifestyle and this will be a difficult process with a high learning curve. I accept that as well because I am READY and OPEN to radical change. I am not expecting record results, I am praying for healthy ones. I am not expecting to become a high fashion model, but I look forward to being a role model for my children and the rest of my family. I do not expect this surgery to change my emotional and mental health. Only I can do that. I am fully aware that I am one of God's "work in progress" as are we all. And knowing what I know of God's unceasing, expansive and unconditional love for me, His Beloved child, I know He will hold me, comfort me and support me in the operating room and beyond. The surgery date is just the beginning. I welcome my road ahead. What adventures I will have, what truths will I learn?
I want to thank everyone here at ObesityHelp. (I still don't know why some say "AMOS" and until I find out, I can't use the acronym, lol). I have found such support here, such unconditional acceptance it humbles me. Whatever our choices, whatever our histories, backgrounds, personalities, struggles, interests and beliefs, we have manged to create here a strong and loving community. How beautiful is that? I celebrate each victory, feel each struggle as if a member of my blood family. Perhaps even more as those in my immediate family do not know intimately what it is we struggle with. To those who gave words of encouragement on my support page or gave advice in one of the many forums I post on, THANK YOU!!! Your words and prayers have meant much to me. I cannot express my gratitude for the acceptance I have found here. I leave you with this: God is Good ALL the time and ALL the time, God is Good! Blessings to you all.
5-22-06
I'm back home!!!! I had my surgery on Friday, May 19th. Everything went well for the most part. Here are the details I remember: I got to the hospital at 5:20 AM. My surgery was scheduled for 7:30 AM. After checking in to the Ambulatory Care
(*I weighed 287.5 when I checked into the hospital!!!),
I was given Lovanox--a shot in the belly (OUCH!)--to thin my blood. The nurse and anesthesiologist came and spoke to me. I was really nervous by then and my husband had been directed to the waiting room, so I asked for and was given a dose of Vercet. This is a valium-like product, and I highly recommend it. I do not remember much after this...I woke up in the recovery room. Surprisingly, I was not in that much pain. The nurse had already removed my breathing tube and catheter while I was sill unconscious. When It was clear that I knew where I was and who I was, a quick trip up to my hospital room (612, I'll always love ya) and I was ready to get some rest. One hour after settling in, I was ready to do some walking. A quick note to those considering the surgery: You must walk as soon as you are able and as often as you can stand. I was still pretty groggy so I only managed two laps around the floor I was on. Then I used the pain pump, sent my husband home and went to sleep.
The next day, I woke up bright and early. I used the pain pump, then set off for a 5 lap walk around the 6th floor. When I returned to my room, I requested some oral med. (Roxicept). This stuff is nasty, but it works quickly and lasts long. I washed up and then it was off to radiology for my upper GI. This went by pretty quickly, the only complaint being the barium liquid. Of course it's foul, but it was only a couple of swallows. After that, right back to my room. My nurse for that day, Pat, and my PCA, Loretta, were absolutely lovely. I received the go ahead to drink liquids and had my first sip of water at about 2PM. I kept track of everything that went into my mouth, with the exception of medicine. I took a walk every 90 minutes for at least ten minutes and I sipped water all the time. The result: No pain by the late afternoon. My incisions were tender to the touch of course, but I could bend twist walk, etc., with no problem whatsoever. I still had gas pretty bad and had not gone to the bathroom at all, so I began to feel the pressure really build up. by 10PM, My tummy looked and felt as if I were 7 months pregnant. I felt like I was going to burst open. My solution?: I pulled back on the pain meds, drank my water a little more aggressively and upped my walking to 10 laps around the 6th floor every 90 minutes. My surgeon came by to see my and told me I would be staying for one extra day, just until I was able to pass gas and urinate. I did not get much sleep, since the nursing staff has to keep checking vital signs and giving anti-clotting meds.
I was finally able to get my bowels moving early Monday morning. Not much, but progress just the same. The most horrible thing as that I weighed myself this day and discovered I weighed 301.2 lbs!!!!Now you gotta remember I weighed 287.5 right before surgery, so this was shocking information. The nurses reassured me this was just due to the excess fluids and gas pumped into my body for the surgery. In one week, all of that should be gone, and then some. I kept up with my walking and sipping and was released on Monday, May 22. Keep you all posted.
5-29-2006
So I am one week out from being released from the hospital. You might wonder how I am feeling? The answer is great! I am acclimating myself to my new pouch quite well, I think. I am not doing protein drinks as I am able to eat meat protein without much difficulty. Also, I discovered Quaker Oat Bran hot cereal. This stuff is great. It is kinda like cream of wheat in consistency and tastes like oatmeal. One 1/2 cup serving has 7 grams of protein!!! Since I make it with milk, I am sure mine has a little more. I add vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon and a little bit of Splenda brown sugar and voila! A delicious protein rich meal.
Anyway I am sure you all want to know about my weight progress. As you may remember, I left the hospital weighing a whopping 301.2 lbs. Pre-op I weighed 287.5. As of yesterday I weigh 286. I am not sure how I feel about this. Will my weight loss be really slow???? I guess I will just have to wait and see.
An interesting note: I am supposed to be at best on a pureed diet right now. However, I have tried quite a few non-approved items and had no adverse side effects. A list of the things I have tried: bbq'd chicken (i chopped it up in the cuisinart first), mac & cheese, graham crackers, skinless smoked sausage, and worst of all, a bite of cheesecake. Now I don't know how I should feel about all of this. I have had no dumping, no ill effects at all, that I can tell right now? What should I do? Anyone with words of wisdom, holla at your girl, lol!
6/1/06
Ok, update from the Surgeon: I am doing just fine!!!! I told him about my slip ups and he was more interested to hear that my pouch tolerated these foods. I told him about my issues with the protein shakes and they gave me some unjury unflavored whey protein to try. I will let you all know how that goes. I have been upgraded to pureed foods and can go to regular foods next Friday. Now for the nitty gritty: How much have I lost? Well, I bought a scale two days ago and when I weighed myself in the morning yesterday, I was...280.5 lbs! Now I was undressed at that time and when they weighed me in the dr.'s office, I weighed 282.6 lbs. I am convinced this was the weight of the clothes, I had on some pretty weighty trousers, lol. So lets see, if people are using the three figures model to be highest weight/current weight/ goal weight, mine would be 302/280.5/163. My weight loss since surgery has been 6.5 lbs, unless you add in the loss of fluid retention weight post-surgery. That would be 19 lbs.
Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus
Provided by VideoCodes4U.com
6/7/06
First off, if anyone knows how to activate those video embeds like the one I have above, email a sistah, ahight? I can't get the !@%$ thing to work properly. What am I doing wrong?
Ok, now that rant is out of the way, allow me to do a quick update. I have had a few problems in the past week. I went to the ER on Saturday night/Sunday morning because of SEVERE abdominal pain. OMG, it really hurt. They ran every test and found nothing. I was relieved, but confused. How could there be nothing wrong but at the same time be such excruciating pain??? Anyway, I am past it and doing much better. I have been on pureed foods this past week and it goes ok. I have added something not pureed to my diet, South Beach protein bars. I chew them up really well and I tolerate them very well, so I am probably going to stick with them for a while. On the protein drink front: I hate them. No seriously, they make me quite ill, with stomach cramping and diarrhea. Someone suggested I was allergic to the whey protein, I dunno about that. Isn't whey protein in cheese? I can eat cheese (in moderation). I have a lactose intolerance which has gotten worse since the wls, so ...maybe.
I have not weighed myself lately. I am trying to stick with only Saturday weigh ins and this past Saturday was spent in the ER, so I missed the opportunity. I caught a glimpse of myself in a store window yesterday and thought, "why do I still look the same?" My weight loss has been on the slow side and I am not sure why. I am trying to be patient and use my new tool properly, but it is hard. My Fibromyalgia kicked in over the weekend and it has become difficult to keep up physical activity.
6/12/06
Hello all! Just a quick update. I am feeling much better since my ER scare last weekend. I threw a party for my son's 8th b-day (I luv you, baby) and we had a blast this past Saturday. I was running around all week with preparations and so that was my exercise. I checked the scale on Saturday morning and I am down to 274.3. Yippee!!! Of course, Aunt Flo is due for a visit, so I feel REALLY bloated. Today I noticed a small lump on my abdomen, nowhere near the incision sites. I am not sure how worried to be about that. I slacked off the past ten days or so in keeping a journal of my food and liquid intake, so I am starting fresh today. I began the day with 24 oz of crystal lite. I will need to eat some breakfast, I think I will try oatmeal.
6-20-06
So here I am again for my weekly update. I have had minimal weight loss since my last post (just 1 lb). I feel as if my weight loss is really, really slow, but then again it took me 15 years to put the weight on, so if it takes 2 years to take it off, I am still ahead of the game. I am eating regular foods now and with a few exceptions, I don't seem to have much trouble with anything. My lactose intolerance has increased, so I am circumspect about milk and other dairy products. I cannot eat sausages with casing, which I guess is a blessing. I am not eating as much as I should or drinking as much as I should because my appetite has been waning. So it is probably my fault I am not losing as much as I had hoped for. I have signed up for a class at the YMCA to kick my fat a$$ into high gear with an exercise routine. I wish I could afford a personal trainer; I feel I need someone yelling at me as I do not have the discipline on my own. Oh well, I keep trying, what more can I do? btw: I have suffered a terrible bout with the fibromyalgia. I have not felt pain like this since I was pregnant with my daughter back in 2002. The pregnancy exacerbated the FM as well, I wonder if the trauma of the surgery has had the same effect?
7/5/06
All right I admit. I have not posted for a minute, but I was busy!!! With three kids when am I not? I guess that means I have no excuse, but..you get the picture. I was out of town last week for a Christian conference on poverty in DC. It was a great experience and really got me fired up to begin some tough work in my church. I also got to see a college friend while I was there so that was great. When I got back (on Wednesday night) I had not been feeling too well. I had been unable to keep food down for about two weeks. Even liquid made me sick. So anyway I went back to see the surgeon on Thursday and discovered I had a stricture. It was not a big deal, the next day, I went to the hospital to have the EGD with dilation. It went smoothly and I was back at home within four hours. Now I can eat what I want, but my appetite is still not where it should be. I have to remind myself to eat and drink and I have not been doing a very good job of it as late. I can tell I am getting dehydrated, so I need to put myself on a schedule. On a happier note, I have noticed my weight loss (finally!!) I am down to 262, which according to the surgeon, means I have lost 22% of my excess body weight!!! In only 7 weeks!!! I am down from a size 26-28 to a 22, and those are becoming loose as well.
7/12/06
Hello everyone, just checking in. I just read my entry from last week and I am only 2 lbs down from then. So that means I now weigh 260. Or you can look at it like: 302/260/163. I am losing inches though; my size 22 pants are now far too loose on me. I cannot afford to go shopping for clothes that fit just yet though, so I am going to look for a belt. I am still struggling with getting in the recommended amounts of liquid and protein. As I sit here, I know I have had only about 20 g of protein today. But I am nauseous, and just thinking about food is making me feel as if I should make a break for the bathroom. What on earth is the matter with me? I have lost 42 lbs in 7 weeks. Or is that 8? I wish I was losing faster, but what are ya gonna do, right? I am thankful for the changes that I have right now. I have more energy to play with my children. I can walk 2.5 miles without feeling as if I were on the verge of death afterward. I need to: 1. exercise more. 2. regulate my eating and drinking schedule and 3. relax!
07/25/06
So what a crazy couple of weeks it has been. Just running around with the kids mainly, and doing projects for my church. I am happy to report that I am getting in more exercise than previously and I am getting in more H2O. Protein is still a problem though. I just need to get over myself and just re-acquaint myself with protein shakes. I don't want to, but I do not see that I have much choice in the matter. I cannot eat enough food in the day to get to 60 grams of protein, so ...oh well. Can't say I did not try. On a good note, I am down to 253 lbs. I still have quite a way to go (about 90-100 lbs) but still I am very grateful. On the whole, I do not regret my decision a bit. I am down to size 18-20 pants and shirts, from a size 26-28, which is wonderful. The 100's seem within sight now, as do my collarbones and wrist bones- yipee!!! Well, that is it for now I guess. Next month I have my 3 month check up, so we will see what the doc says my general health is. My husband says I do not snore as much and has stopped wearing earplugs to bed. Unfortunately, he still snores like a buzz saw!
8/17/06
Hi there. It has been about three weeks since I last posted. I am doing well enough. Currently I weigh 244 lbs. Pretty good for my three month anniversary, I'd say. I am wearing a size 18 now, but I estimate that will have changed by the end of September. I am walking 3 miles a day, 5 days a week! I still need to include some sort of weight and core strengthening exercises, so as soon as the kids are back in school (Praise the Lord!) I will add a late morning session at the YMCA. I am looking for work now, and it has been slow going! To all parents out there, why is it so hard to balance work and kids? If you have children, you need to work to provide for them, but you need to pay for childcare. This limits which jobs you can apply for and how exactly do you pay for that childcare if you don't have the job yet? It is such a catch-22, I am not sure how I am going to manage this. Oh well, maybe I will go to graduate school instead and put this off until my youngest is ready for kindergarten.
I have my 3-month anniversary appointment with the surgeon next week, and I will know how my protein and vitamin levels are doing. I fear I may be becoming anemic, but I refuse to worry about until I know something for sure. I can see my collarbones now without trying and my wedding rings need to be resized before I lose one. These are my victories. Smooches for now.
09/01/06
I have not posted for two weeks now, but you know how that goes. And anyway, who is really interested in reading the day to day minutae of my life? So let's see, since I last posted I have had a visit to my surgeon's office for my three month check up. I weighed in at 241lbs. This was with clothes on, so I am thinking maybe I weighed 1-2 lbs less. I did not see the surgeon though; he had a complicated surgery that morning and was running ridiculously late. I did however get scheduled for another dilation and endoscopy. I am still having some trouble swallowing food and keeping it down. Nothing serious, just aggravating, you know? Oh and my birthday was on the 16th. I did not mention it last time because I was in a funk about it. Well I am 34 y.o now and that is pretty weird in itself. When did I get to be this age, with a husband, three kids, and a house in small town subdivision? This is certainly not who I thought I would be 15 years ago. My son Matthew's birthday was on the 31st, but we celebrated a Chuck E Cheese the Saturday before. That place is horrible!!!! Now I am just counting down days until the oldest two go back to school. Yay Sept. 5th!!!! My weight now is about 237-8 lbs. I do not weigh myself as rigorously as others do and I am trying to not compare my loss (about 65 lbs) to those who had their surgeries at the same time. Some people are this side of "onderland" , and I can't see that place yet on my horizon. Oh well, I am still two months ahead of my surgeon's schedule for my weight loss, so I can't really complain.
5/3/06- OK So now I am getting a little terrified. Much thanks to those who sent me a word of support on my support page and those on the BAF who also lifted my spirits and sent up prayers. I can't imagine what my life will be like after the surgery, but I know God is with with me on this journey. Now, If only I can find out how I can update my own page.... help!!!
5/13/06- OK I have begun my liquid pre-op diet today. It is unpleasant, but I have found that drinking the protein drink ice cold or almost frozen has help with the funky texture (it's kind of slimy). I have worked myself up to drinking 96 oz of water a day (4 regular water bottles) and I do not anticipate water intake being too much of a problem this week. One thing I have noticed that helps me maintain my discipline: Give yourself a 15 minute rule. Once a craving hits, drink a glass of water (4-8 oz), then wait for 15 minutes. The craving has usually gone away by then. I am up to 45 minutes (7-9 miles, depending on my speed) on the recumbent stationary bike at the YMCA. I need to get there more often though, I have only been going 1-2x per week. Not good enough I know. I will do better this week. One good thing: Since I have been going to the Y and upping my H2O intake, I have lost 4.5 lbs! Yay me!!!!
5-15-06
4 days more...
So I am in the home stretch now for pre-op. I am on a liquid diet, which is difficult, but not impossible. I am getting in all the H2O the Doctor. wants, but the protein drink, I am having a problem with. I should be drinking 5 servings of protein drink mixed with 8 oz of skim milk everyday, but I can only mange three due to my lactose intolerance. My NUT gave me the go ahead to use a more aggressive protein powder with 60g of protein per serving and to mix it with fruit juice or water. I am sure this will help with the tummy problems.
I wanted to post a letter to all the forums and my profile page explaining why I have decided to have this surgery. I post this for everyone I have met through ObesityHelp, as well as those who do not understand why some of us make this "drastic" decision to undergo surgery to treat morbid obesity:
As I get closer to my surgery date, I feel a sense of calm taking over. I know God is with me, because I am with God. I have fought this weight battle for so long and have watched relatives suffer the horrible side effects of obesity, including stroke, heart attack and limb amputation. I am doing this for my three kids. I want to see them grow up, I want to participate in their lives. I want to make memories with them instead of unfulfilled promises to them. I am doing this because I want to beat the odds of divorce in our country and dance with my husband at our 50 th wedding anniversary (we are creeping up to 10 in 1997). I am doing this because I want to run, jump, play, dance, skate, bike, swim and hike. I am doing this because I am tired of avoiding mirrors, clothing stores and lights (in the privacy of my bedroom). I am doing this as an ultimate expression of self love: I love me more than food, more than my fear and more than my self doubt. I go into this surgery with my eyes wide open. There can be complications, some of which can be fatal. I accept that because my life as it is right now, has possibly fatal consequences. I know there will be pain and I accept that, because my life right now has a fair amount of pain. I know I will be making a radical change to my lifestyle and this will be a difficult process with a high learning curve. I accept that as well because I am READY and OPEN to radical change. I am not expecting record results, I am praying for healthy ones. I am not expecting to become a high fashion model, but I look forward to being a role model for my children and the rest of my family. I do not expect this surgery to change my emotional and mental health. Only I can do that. I am fully aware that I am one of God's "work in progress" as are we all. And knowing what I know of God's unceasing, expansive and unconditional love for me, His Beloved child, I know He will hold me, comfort me and support me in the operating room and beyond. The surgery date is just the beginning. I welcome my road ahead. What adventures I will have, what truths will I learn?
I want to thank everyone here at ObesityHelp. (I still don't know why some say "AMOS" and until I find out, I can't use the acronym, lol). I have found such support here, such unconditional acceptance it humbles me. Whatever our choices, whatever our histories, backgrounds, personalities, struggles, interests and beliefs, we have manged to create here a strong and loving community. How beautiful is that? I celebrate each victory, feel each struggle as if a member of my blood family. Perhaps even more as those in my immediate family do not know intimately what it is we struggle with. To those who gave words of encouragement on my support page or gave advice in one of the many forums I post on, THANK YOU!!! Your words and prayers have meant much to me. I cannot express my gratitude for the acceptance I have found here. I leave you with this: God is Good ALL the time and ALL the time, God is Good! Blessings to you all.
5-22-06
I'm back home!!!! I had my surgery on Friday, May 19th. Everything went well for the most part. Here are the details I remember: I got to the hospital at 5:20 AM. My surgery was scheduled for 7:30 AM. After checking in to the Ambulatory Care
(*I weighed 287.5 when I checked into the hospital!!!),
I was given Lovanox--a shot in the belly (OUCH!)--to thin my blood. The nurse and anesthesiologist came and spoke to me. I was really nervous by then and my husband had been directed to the waiting room, so I asked for and was given a dose of Vercet. This is a valium-like product, and I highly recommend it. I do not remember much after this...I woke up in the recovery room. Surprisingly, I was not in that much pain. The nurse had already removed my breathing tube and catheter while I was sill unconscious. When It was clear that I knew where I was and who I was, a quick trip up to my hospital room (612, I'll always love ya) and I was ready to get some rest. One hour after settling in, I was ready to do some walking. A quick note to those considering the surgery: You must walk as soon as you are able and as often as you can stand. I was still pretty groggy so I only managed two laps around the floor I was on. Then I used the pain pump, sent my husband home and went to sleep.
The next day, I woke up bright and early. I used the pain pump, then set off for a 5 lap walk around the 6th floor. When I returned to my room, I requested some oral med. (Roxicept). This stuff is nasty, but it works quickly and lasts long. I washed up and then it was off to radiology for my upper GI. This went by pretty quickly, the only complaint being the barium liquid. Of course it's foul, but it was only a couple of swallows. After that, right back to my room. My nurse for that day, Pat, and my PCA, Loretta, were absolutely lovely. I received the go ahead to drink liquids and had my first sip of water at about 2PM. I kept track of everything that went into my mouth, with the exception of medicine. I took a walk every 90 minutes for at least ten minutes and I sipped water all the time. The result: No pain by the late afternoon. My incisions were tender to the touch of course, but I could bend twist walk, etc., with no problem whatsoever. I still had gas pretty bad and had not gone to the bathroom at all, so I began to feel the pressure really build up. by 10PM, My tummy looked and felt as if I were 7 months pregnant. I felt like I was going to burst open. My solution?: I pulled back on the pain meds, drank my water a little more aggressively and upped my walking to 10 laps around the 6th floor every 90 minutes. My surgeon came by to see my and told me I would be staying for one extra day, just until I was able to pass gas and urinate. I did not get much sleep, since the nursing staff has to keep checking vital signs and giving anti-clotting meds.
I was finally able to get my bowels moving early Monday morning. Not much, but progress just the same. The most horrible thing as that I weighed myself this day and discovered I weighed 301.2 lbs!!!!Now you gotta remember I weighed 287.5 right before surgery, so this was shocking information. The nurses reassured me this was just due to the excess fluids and gas pumped into my body for the surgery. In one week, all of that should be gone, and then some. I kept up with my walking and sipping and was released on Monday, May 22. Keep you all posted.
5-29-2006
So I am one week out from being released from the hospital. You might wonder how I am feeling? The answer is great! I am acclimating myself to my new pouch quite well, I think. I am not doing protein drinks as I am able to eat meat protein without much difficulty. Also, I discovered Quaker Oat Bran hot cereal. This stuff is great. It is kinda like cream of wheat in consistency and tastes like oatmeal. One 1/2 cup serving has 7 grams of protein!!! Since I make it with milk, I am sure mine has a little more. I add vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon and a little bit of Splenda brown sugar and voila! A delicious protein rich meal.
Anyway I am sure you all want to know about my weight progress. As you may remember, I left the hospital weighing a whopping 301.2 lbs. Pre-op I weighed 287.5. As of yesterday I weigh 286. I am not sure how I feel about this. Will my weight loss be really slow???? I guess I will just have to wait and see.
An interesting note: I am supposed to be at best on a pureed diet right now. However, I have tried quite a few non-approved items and had no adverse side effects. A list of the things I have tried: bbq'd chicken (i chopped it up in the cuisinart first), mac & cheese, graham crackers, skinless smoked sausage, and worst of all, a bite of cheesecake. Now I don't know how I should feel about all of this. I have had no dumping, no ill effects at all, that I can tell right now? What should I do? Anyone with words of wisdom, holla at your girl, lol!
6/1/06
Ok, update from the Surgeon: I am doing just fine!!!! I told him about my slip ups and he was more interested to hear that my pouch tolerated these foods. I told him about my issues with the protein shakes and they gave me some unjury unflavored whey protein to try. I will let you all know how that goes. I have been upgraded to pureed foods and can go to regular foods next Friday. Now for the nitty gritty: How much have I lost? Well, I bought a scale two days ago and when I weighed myself in the morning yesterday, I was...280.5 lbs! Now I was undressed at that time and when they weighed me in the dr.'s office, I weighed 282.6 lbs. I am convinced this was the weight of the clothes, I had on some pretty weighty trousers, lol. So lets see, if people are using the three figures model to be highest weight/current weight/ goal weight, mine would be 302/280.5/163. My weight loss since surgery has been 6.5 lbs, unless you add in the loss of fluid retention weight post-surgery. That would be 19 lbs.
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6/7/06
First off, if anyone knows how to activate those video embeds like the one I have above, email a sistah, ahight? I can't get the !@%$ thing to work properly. What am I doing wrong?
Ok, now that rant is out of the way, allow me to do a quick update. I have had a few problems in the past week. I went to the ER on Saturday night/Sunday morning because of SEVERE abdominal pain. OMG, it really hurt. They ran every test and found nothing. I was relieved, but confused. How could there be nothing wrong but at the same time be such excruciating pain??? Anyway, I am past it and doing much better. I have been on pureed foods this past week and it goes ok. I have added something not pureed to my diet, South Beach protein bars. I chew them up really well and I tolerate them very well, so I am probably going to stick with them for a while. On the protein drink front: I hate them. No seriously, they make me quite ill, with stomach cramping and diarrhea. Someone suggested I was allergic to the whey protein, I dunno about that. Isn't whey protein in cheese? I can eat cheese (in moderation). I have a lactose intolerance which has gotten worse since the wls, so ...maybe.
I have not weighed myself lately. I am trying to stick with only Saturday weigh ins and this past Saturday was spent in the ER, so I missed the opportunity. I caught a glimpse of myself in a store window yesterday and thought, "why do I still look the same?" My weight loss has been on the slow side and I am not sure why. I am trying to be patient and use my new tool properly, but it is hard. My Fibromyalgia kicked in over the weekend and it has become difficult to keep up physical activity.
6/12/06
Hello all! Just a quick update. I am feeling much better since my ER scare last weekend. I threw a party for my son's 8th b-day (I luv you, baby) and we had a blast this past Saturday. I was running around all week with preparations and so that was my exercise. I checked the scale on Saturday morning and I am down to 274.3. Yippee!!! Of course, Aunt Flo is due for a visit, so I feel REALLY bloated. Today I noticed a small lump on my abdomen, nowhere near the incision sites. I am not sure how worried to be about that. I slacked off the past ten days or so in keeping a journal of my food and liquid intake, so I am starting fresh today. I began the day with 24 oz of crystal lite. I will need to eat some breakfast, I think I will try oatmeal.
6-20-06
So here I am again for my weekly update. I have had minimal weight loss since my last post (just 1 lb). I feel as if my weight loss is really, really slow, but then again it took me 15 years to put the weight on, so if it takes 2 years to take it off, I am still ahead of the game. I am eating regular foods now and with a few exceptions, I don't seem to have much trouble with anything. My lactose intolerance has increased, so I am circumspect about milk and other dairy products. I cannot eat sausages with casing, which I guess is a blessing. I am not eating as much as I should or drinking as much as I should because my appetite has been waning. So it is probably my fault I am not losing as much as I had hoped for. I have signed up for a class at the YMCA to kick my fat a$$ into high gear with an exercise routine. I wish I could afford a personal trainer; I feel I need someone yelling at me as I do not have the discipline on my own. Oh well, I keep trying, what more can I do? btw: I have suffered a terrible bout with the fibromyalgia. I have not felt pain like this since I was pregnant with my daughter back in 2002. The pregnancy exacerbated the FM as well, I wonder if the trauma of the surgery has had the same effect?
7/5/06
All right I admit. I have not posted for a minute, but I was busy!!! With three kids when am I not? I guess that means I have no excuse, but..you get the picture. I was out of town last week for a Christian conference on poverty in DC. It was a great experience and really got me fired up to begin some tough work in my church. I also got to see a college friend while I was there so that was great. When I got back (on Wednesday night) I had not been feeling too well. I had been unable to keep food down for about two weeks. Even liquid made me sick. So anyway I went back to see the surgeon on Thursday and discovered I had a stricture. It was not a big deal, the next day, I went to the hospital to have the EGD with dilation. It went smoothly and I was back at home within four hours. Now I can eat what I want, but my appetite is still not where it should be. I have to remind myself to eat and drink and I have not been doing a very good job of it as late. I can tell I am getting dehydrated, so I need to put myself on a schedule. On a happier note, I have noticed my weight loss (finally!!) I am down to 262, which according to the surgeon, means I have lost 22% of my excess body weight!!! In only 7 weeks!!! I am down from a size 26-28 to a 22, and those are becoming loose as well.
7/12/06
Hello everyone, just checking in. I just read my entry from last week and I am only 2 lbs down from then. So that means I now weigh 260. Or you can look at it like: 302/260/163. I am losing inches though; my size 22 pants are now far too loose on me. I cannot afford to go shopping for clothes that fit just yet though, so I am going to look for a belt. I am still struggling with getting in the recommended amounts of liquid and protein. As I sit here, I know I have had only about 20 g of protein today. But I am nauseous, and just thinking about food is making me feel as if I should make a break for the bathroom. What on earth is the matter with me? I have lost 42 lbs in 7 weeks. Or is that 8? I wish I was losing faster, but what are ya gonna do, right? I am thankful for the changes that I have right now. I have more energy to play with my children. I can walk 2.5 miles without feeling as if I were on the verge of death afterward. I need to: 1. exercise more. 2. regulate my eating and drinking schedule and 3. relax!
07/25/06
So what a crazy couple of weeks it has been. Just running around with the kids mainly, and doing projects for my church. I am happy to report that I am getting in more exercise than previously and I am getting in more H2O. Protein is still a problem though. I just need to get over myself and just re-acquaint myself with protein shakes. I don't want to, but I do not see that I have much choice in the matter. I cannot eat enough food in the day to get to 60 grams of protein, so ...oh well. Can't say I did not try. On a good note, I am down to 253 lbs. I still have quite a way to go (about 90-100 lbs) but still I am very grateful. On the whole, I do not regret my decision a bit. I am down to size 18-20 pants and shirts, from a size 26-28, which is wonderful. The 100's seem within sight now, as do my collarbones and wrist bones- yipee!!! Well, that is it for now I guess. Next month I have my 3 month check up, so we will see what the doc says my general health is. My husband says I do not snore as much and has stopped wearing earplugs to bed. Unfortunately, he still snores like a buzz saw!
8/17/06
Hi there. It has been about three weeks since I last posted. I am doing well enough. Currently I weigh 244 lbs. Pretty good for my three month anniversary, I'd say. I am wearing a size 18 now, but I estimate that will have changed by the end of September. I am walking 3 miles a day, 5 days a week! I still need to include some sort of weight and core strengthening exercises, so as soon as the kids are back in school (Praise the Lord!) I will add a late morning session at the YMCA. I am looking for work now, and it has been slow going! To all parents out there, why is it so hard to balance work and kids? If you have children, you need to work to provide for them, but you need to pay for childcare. This limits which jobs you can apply for and how exactly do you pay for that childcare if you don't have the job yet? It is such a catch-22, I am not sure how I am going to manage this. Oh well, maybe I will go to graduate school instead and put this off until my youngest is ready for kindergarten.
I have my 3-month anniversary appointment with the surgeon next week, and I will know how my protein and vitamin levels are doing. I fear I may be becoming anemic, but I refuse to worry about until I know something for sure. I can see my collarbones now without trying and my wedding rings need to be resized before I lose one. These are my victories. Smooches for now.
09/01/06
I have not posted for two weeks now, but you know how that goes. And anyway, who is really interested in reading the day to day minutae of my life? So let's see, since I last posted I have had a visit to my surgeon's office for my three month check up. I weighed in at 241lbs. This was with clothes on, so I am thinking maybe I weighed 1-2 lbs less. I did not see the surgeon though; he had a complicated surgery that morning and was running ridiculously late. I did however get scheduled for another dilation and endoscopy. I am still having some trouble swallowing food and keeping it down. Nothing serious, just aggravating, you know? Oh and my birthday was on the 16th. I did not mention it last time because I was in a funk about it. Well I am 34 y.o now and that is pretty weird in itself. When did I get to be this age, with a husband, three kids, and a house in small town subdivision? This is certainly not who I thought I would be 15 years ago. My son Matthew's birthday was on the 31st, but we celebrated a Chuck E Cheese the Saturday before. That place is horrible!!!! Now I am just counting down days until the oldest two go back to school. Yay Sept. 5th!!!! My weight now is about 237-8 lbs. I do not weigh myself as rigorously as others do and I am trying to not compare my loss (about 65 lbs) to those who had their surgeries at the same time. Some people are this side of "onderland" , and I can't see that place yet on my horizon. Oh well, I am still two months ahead of my surgeon's schedule for my weight loss, so I can't really complain.