vickinicole

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Weighed myself today and the scale hovered around 262 lbs, of course that was before I had my breakfast of 2 eggs and turkey sausage.

After breakfast?
263.4 lbs !!!!!

I weighed 283.4 on October 26, 2006

I have succesfully lost 20 lbs!!

How did I do it? Calorie watching. I eat 1800 calories a day no matter what I am eating. I created a healthy menu to include vegetables and fruit daily and planned each meal for a week at a time, but I also had/have days of extreme bingeing. But even on those days of eating 5 donuts, I tried to watch my other meals, on some days refusing to eat anything more because I had already met my caloric limit. That is a extremely unhealthy and torturous process so I do not make it a habit, but as some of you know, I have emotional days once a month and that is usually when the bingeing comes out. On most days I just eat healthily and limit my caloric intake to 1800 calories.

It took 3 MONTHS! because I have not been exercising regularly, but I assure you I am trying to fit in the time to do so. In fact since this is such a priority for me, I informed the temp agency where I work that this will have to be my last week for awhile. I am taking the month of February OFF.  I need to put some extra time into my studies and exercising. It is VERY important to me, much more important than having a stable roof over my head.

lol

Seriously though,
it is.

If I am to be evicted, which I pray to God doesnt happen, but if it does, as long as I continue doing well in school and losing weight, i will feel okay about it because I know that those 2 goals that I will continue working towards are the key to my future.  Worrying about daily bills, rent included, is NOT the key to my future. Being healthy and educated is.

Besides, I am sure none of my many relatives who live here in Phoenix would let me be homeless. My 2 GOALS are just too precious and important to me to allow WORK to interfere, which it has.

I am not going into this extended time off without having made some preparations though. As of tomorrow, Monday, I will have paid my rent for 2 months in advance and it will not be due again until April. As of a week from Monday I will have paid my car note up till April as well. As for semantics such as utilities and groceries, I will still have my part time job that I work 20 hours each week. So I will be able to live for atleast 3 weeks without working a full time job. That should give me time to get AHEAD on my studies and establish a exercise routine 5 days a week until it is like second nature to me. You know I really do believe in the saying "28 days to form a habit", so my goal with this time off is to establish a exercise "habit". When I go back to work in March, I am hoping it is like second nature to me and I will not let it slide. Right now I just need a extra push and extra focus on that one particular thing, exercise.

I also have a short term goal of to weigh 250 lbs before heading to Boston in March. That is 13 lbs. that I must lose. I will have 35 days to achieve that and with a great deal of physical endurance and strength exercise along with my current eating habits, that should be achievable. Don't you agree? I have a cute black dress that I want to wear on my date in Boston but it doesnt quite fit anymore, it wont zip up all the way in the back so I just need to lose a inch or two thru exercise.

Well I really do feel great about the 20lbs I lost. 

only 113 lbs. to go till I reach my final goal.....

well today i went to cardio sculpt, it killed  me. I was 1 of only 2 fat people in the class. There were about 5 really old ladies (about 60 yrs. old) in the class all of whome were in much better shape than me. Anyway I liked the class alot so I will continue going to it on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

tomorrow I am either doing YOGA or Step/Sculpt. Depends on what time I wake up. Today I woke up around 8am. Ate oatmeal and got to the cardio class early, it started at 9am. I have to actually get 34 hours logged in at the fitness center to get a A in my Lifetime Fitness class.
The cardio sculpt class counts as 1 hour.

Anyway I dont have much internet access anymore cause i gave my computer away for the semester, but I am at school right now working on my Healthful Living class requirements. I have an assignment due that I gotta finish today cause tomorrow is all about Math homework.

Oh and I gained 2 lbs from that binge eating, i am at 267 lbs.. Hopefuly I can work it off with this exercising.

I had a REALLY really bad binge eating day yesterday. I know that I am coming on my period tomorrow so I attribute some of it to that.

I wanted pecan sweet rolls REALLY bad but couldnt find any so I went to Rainbow donuts to buy a dozen donuts and they didnt accept credit cards (i dont keep cash on hand so that I dont eat junk out the vending machines at work), so i freaked out and went looking for a ATM, drove a half mile up the street to a gas station to get cash, had to get the $20 minimum out plus $2 fee and drove back to the donut shope and got a DOZEN donuts, i proceeded to STUFF 2 of them in my mouth before I even left the parking lot. in total I ate 5 of them and threw the rest out.

this is the kind of behavior that overweight people don't like to discuss, but I think I have to and its important. 

I havent done that (binge eating) since over the summer. This summer I binge ate several times making entire pans of brownies and eating them and buying dozens of sweet rolls or whole cakes and eating them, also bought 3 gallons of breyers ice cream one time this summer and ate it all in a week.

I don't really know what caused it this time, I am not feeling really great, I think because of my schedule right now and I am upset that I dont have time to SLEEP and GO TO THE GYM. If i want to go to the gym I have to only get 6 hours of sleep but when I get anything less than 8 hours of sleep, I have really bad anxiety attacks and tend to eat alot.
So I am frustrated with my schedule, i have to go to night class, plus my 2nd job is at night, so i have no time to get 8 hours of sleep and get to the gym at 6 in the morning.

For now I am just going to go to the gym on the weekends. Then when this temp assignment is over I will work the 2nd job during the day and weekends so I can go to the gym. i have ALOT of anxiety over my math class too. Worried that I am going to fail like in the past and that I will never understand how to find the scope of a line or whatever it is that we have to figure out when graphing a line, and if I cant get past this algebra class I will never be able to graduate, so i have a lot of anxiety emotions right now.

ok it looks like I may have some sort of supplemental insurance thru my temp agency, they dont cover this surgery, but I can atleast start seeing a doctor and getting my weight struggles documented in case in the future I am able to get insurance.

No one has been donating to my cause so I may have to wait around hoping for insurance.

Breakfast: ate vending machine food (440 cal), coca-cola (100 calories)

good day after work yesterday cause got remainding pell grant funds, used it to pay off my furniure, aay!! no more furniture payments. Going to use the rest combined with my paycheck this week and next week to pay my car note for 2 months and february rent, then when i get paid for the next 6 weeks at the part time job after this temp assignment is up, will go to utilities and groceries and saving for march bills

also picked my 19 year old sister up from the airport last night, she's going to tucson to visit friends but is staying at my aunts house overnight. She went to high school in tucson cause my mom use to live there and worked at UofA for like 4 years or something like that. Anyway my sister finished her last year of high school in texas where my mom now works, and my sister goes to texas a&m. What motivates me to finish college? well my sister just started college this last semester, actually she did go to summer school and she already has 28 credits. i've been in college off and on for 10 years and only have 33 credits. my sister took 11 credits last summer, she started college with 3 credits cause she had a advanced placement class in high school, she took 14 credits last fall and yea she will have surpassed me after this semester if she takes 14 credits.

gotta get on it, cant have my lil sister passing me up.

1800 calorie Daily Meal Plan
breakfast	Before exercise: oatmeal w/ dates, nuts or raisins, or fruit and 2 eggs     After exercise: protein fruit shake or 1 yogurt
snack	Orange or apple and a cup of green tea
lunch	Healthy Choice microwave  meal with dessert included
snack	Almonds or trail mix or low-cal & low-sodium vegetable soup
dinner	Amy’s microwave dinner or salad with a side of protein (chicken, steak, fish)
snack	Sugar free fudgecicle and a cup of sleepytime tea

I'm inspired to accomplish the following 2 goals this year of 2007:

1. Improve my Health Daily: Eat healthier including vegetables and fuit into my diet daily, drink 60 ounces of water daily, sleep minimum of 8 hours each night, exercise 4 times a week (treadmill, yoga etc..), lose 5lbs each month.

2. Pass ALL of my classes this semester. This has been a challenge for me the past 10 years, I always tend to drop a class, this semester I must pass all my classes with a C or better and will give up just about anything to make it happen.

So those are my 2007 Resolutions, I will try to keep you guys updated as to how it works out.

i applied for food stamps as well as state funded health insurance back in October or November 2006, but was denied, they said I make too much money. I make $11 a hour (at a temp job)  but apparently if you make more than $800 a month and are a single person with no children you do not qualify

this temp assignment will be up soon though and when it is I am going to just do work study for a few weeks so that I can apply for food stamps and state health insurance. Workstudy only pays $7 a hour and you can only work $20 hours a week, so I will be under the $800 income then.

I will also then be unable to afford to pay rent but we'll take things one day at a time.

i went to bed at 1am last night surfing the internet, reading blogs and woke up at 6:50 am. i really have to get rid of the laptop again because i am not getting enough sleep and statistics show that when you are tired you eat unhealthily.

i ate a package of dunkin donut stix, (490 calories) for breakfast that i got out of the machine here at work
ate a 6" steak and cheese sandwich from subway for lunch
ate a 12" steak and cheese sandwich from subway for dinner

oh and i weighed myself this morning and i am 267 lbs. Lost 16 lbs since october 26. I could lose sooo much more if I exercised, then I wouldnt have to eat low calories on some days to keep the weight down.

today i ate oatmeal for breakfast and i just baked a salmon, put a lil lemon and garlic on it, it was really good and had a cup of tea with honey and lemon

that was the last piece of meat (fish) in my freezer, now the only thing in there is fudgescicles, popscicles, frozen fruit, a bag of frozen chicken slices (oh wait thats meat), and a bag of frozen vegetables

i am trying to eat the stuff that is in my cabinets, some was donated by a girl who got it from her church when i couldnt afford groceries, and i had a bag of butter and herb pasta, you just boil it with a tablesppon of butter and water, i put some of the frozen chicken slices in it and had that for dinner with a huge thing of water

all i have is relatively healthy food left in the house, lol, wonder what i will have for lunch tomorrow, i should just suck it up and go grocery shopping, i am trying to save money but a person has to eat even if youre fat, you still have to eat