walkingforacure
I have once again embarked on the journey to lose weight and get fit. I'm sure those of you that know me is wondering when the journey ended - well, it never really ended, it has just taken a few detours along the way!
My weight loss history - when I graduated from high school 30 years ago I weighed 125 pounds. At that time I was considered to be "chunky" as I was always the cheerleader that was on the bottom holding the others up. Oh, to be 125 now!! In 1981 I married a man that I thought would be the man I would grow old with. When he told his dad "see dad, I told you she was big" that should have told me something. 9 1/2 years and 2 kids later we divorced. Needless to say my self-confidence and self-esteem went down immediately. I remarried in 1992 and had a son in 1993. After years of verbal abuse we divorced in 1997. Long story short my self-worth was nothing by this time. A person can only take so much of verbal abuse.
So, there I was - 3 kids, no husband and at the heaviest weight I had ever been. I joined Weight Watchers on-line and lost 67 pounds in 9 months. I was 30 pounds from my goal weight and gave up after not losing any weight for 3 months. In 1999 I met my current husband. He has always been supportive but he also likes to eat!! I have tried just about every weight loss program there is to try. After being on and off diets and exercise programs I think I have ruined my metabolism.
In October 2005 when I hit my heaviest weight I had Lap Band surgery - 245. I lost a total of 50 pounds within the first several months. I had several issues with getting the restriction just right so I gave up on that as well. Just about the time I was going to give the Lap Band another try (August 2006) I had to have Gall Bladder surgery. Surgery equals no restriction so that gave me another set back. I finally got some restriction back but we never could find that "sweet spot" to where I could eat and lose weight without having reflux etc.
In March 2008 my dad passed away after complication from colon cancer surgery. I was with my mom at the hospital through it all. Needless to say this was a huge shock to me and my family. Dad had surgery on Friday, they celebrated their 51st wedding anniversary in ICU on Saturday, Dad passed away Sunday morning. I have never felt so much pain and sorrow in my life.
After dad's passing my way of life took a tremendous turn. Life as I knew it was gone. Dad was the foundation of our family and that had been taken away from me. The fact that I am an emotional eater made things worse. My family and friends were so supportive during this time but I still turned to food. I began to slowly gain weight. I have gained 20 pounds over the last 14 months. I am still under my heaviest weight but only 25 pounds away from that!! That scares me!!
I joined Weight Watchers meetings in August 2008 thinking that attending meetings would hold me accountable. I lost 15 pounds in the first few months. I did great over the holidays and in February I stopped attending meetings. My thinking was that I knew what to do so why pay to attend. Well, I gained the 15 pounds back plus another 5!!
My office started a new session of Weight Watchers at Work on Tuesday, June 2nd. Yes, I joined this group to assist me in my weight loss. I have also enlisted the assistance of a personal trainer at our gym. Evans is great!! I have had 6 sessions with him and he kicks my butt every time. He gives me homework to do each week - usually 5-6 days of cardio at least 20-30 minutes each day. Now that my training walks have started that will be easier to get done.
I have since quit and rejoined Weight Watchers and now have quit again. I am seeing a horrible pattern here so it is time for me to really take control of my weight and my life. Now that I am only 5 pounds from my original heaviest weight I have decided to swallow my pride and return to Dr. Fox (new WLS doctor) for help. I have a tool to assist me in reaching my weight loss goals and for almost 5 years I have wasted utilizing this tool.
I learned how to beat the Lap Band system - but no longer!! I am here to obtain help and support that I need to reach my goal. I have 105 pounds to reach that goal and I would LOVE to reach that goal before turning 50 in July of 2011.
I am going to take this journey one day at a time. I know that it will take several months, maybe years to reach my final goal. But, regardless of how long it takes I will reach my goal. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy with myself and how I look. I want to be able to go shopping and not have difficulty finding clothes. I want to be able to chase my grandson around and be there when he graduates from high school some day. I want to do this for ME!!
I will come back daily (hopefully) and post my thoughts, my accomplishments and yes, even my failures. I know that not every day will be successful but it's up to me to do the best I can to succeed. No one can do this for me. I got myself into this situation and I am the only one that can get me out of it......so the journey begins. It's going to a bumpy ride so I had better buckle my seat belt.....love ya.