walkingforacure

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Things are coming along - slowly but I am making progress.

I had my follow-up at the fill center today.  Everyone there is just so nice - I love the encouragement you receive!!  I was down 5.8 pounds since my visit 3 weeks ago.  After our visit we decided that I would not get a fill at this point.  I am eating the right amount of food, eating the right kind of food (95% of the time) and not having any issues at the moment.  She feels like I am in my "green sweet spot" so I'm trusting her judgment!  I go back in 3 weeks and will see where we go from there.

I hope everyone has an awesome and blessed day.

Lori

I did it! I lost 10.2 pounds during my first 2 weeks back on program!!  Yippee!  I am so excited.  I have been very focued and will continue to stay focused. 

My next goal is to lose 15 more pounds before David and I go to San Antonio for our 10 year annivesary weekend.  I know I can do this - will be adding exercise starting today.

Have a great weekend

Lori

Can I just tell you how excited and thankful I was this morning when I found out my band and upper pouch looked good??

I am so thankful for all the prayers and thoughts.  I went to the fill center this morning to find out if I could begin getting fills again - since I have not been there since 6-2008 there was some doubt.  My doctor was more than convinced that my upper pouch was stretched so bad that there would be no reason/way to get fills done.  According to the photos it looks in good shape!! 

So, I am now on my way to success.  I am determined to follow the plan and do what I am supposed to.  I know I will be able to find the extra support here that I need as well.  You guys are great!!

I hope you are having an awesome and blessed day.

Lori

......until I find out if my band and upper pouch are in good shape.  If they are, I will be able to begin getting my fills again.  If not, well.....I will be devastated and not sure what path I will take.  I will be at the surgery center at 8:00 (8:30 appointment).  It's closer for me to go straight to the surgery center than come to work and then go - plus there would not be enough time.  Maybe I can get in early!! 

Keep me in your prayers.  I so desperately want to get back on this journey - pray it is in God's will for my life.  I will be devastated if my pouch is stretched......

Hugs to all,
Lori

But, it's no ones fault but mine!!

Well, I was in a much better mood this morning than I am now!! All I can do is pray that God's will is done and my visit to the surgery center is better than my appointment with the lap band doctor was today!

Dr. Fox has never been favorite doctor; even though I have only seen and/or talk to him once. I have not seen him in 2 years and needless to say he was not happy with me. He asked me why I was there and what has been happening over the last 2 years. I explained to him why I had not been back (mainly the emotional issues with my dad passing away). To him that was no excuse and/or reason not to see him and/or go to the fill center. He told me right away that he really doesn't think Lap Band is for me; he doesn't understand why I've not done what I was supposed to. He was very straight forward and to the point - which I knew about him. But maybe this is what I need!

He gave me several options - take the band out and forget it, replace the band with a new one in the correct position, leave it in place and forget about it, have gastric bypass or have a sleeve process done. I really didn't know what to say because my option was to work with the band I have and restart the process. It took everything I had not to cry right then and there. Actually I think I just sat there and keep saying "ok" to everything he said. He then did say (I think after he could see that I was upset) that I could go to the surgery center and have my band and pouch checked to see how things looked. That was the option I was looking for! Dr. Fox really does not think this option will work as he strongly feels that my upper pouch is so stretched out that it will not go back into place regardless of what I do. Honestly, that is my fear as well. I know how I have eaten over the past 4 years so it is certainly a worry for me.

Dr. Fox looked at my records and reminded me of how many times I have had to have restriction removed - usually due to not following the rules of eating. He just kept on and on about how I didn't do this and didn't do that.....well, he is right so I guess I deserved being gripped at! But not as bad as it was. Maybe it's just because is very straight forward all the time. Don't mess around with the program!!

So, with all of that being said, I walked out of his office and went straight to the bathroom and cried. I just could not stop crying. I was embarrassed. I was humiliated. It was horrible.

On Thursday at 8:30 I will be at the surgery center to have my band checked. If everything looks okay I will get an adjustment made. If it doesn't, well, then I have some decisions to make. If I do get to have an adjustment I will still have a lot of decisions to make - every day for the rest of my life. The eating plan is very specific and strict. If I am going to make this work I MUST follow the plan regardless. Because he will know if I'm not following the plan.

I am trying really hard to be optimistic about all of this. I am praying that God's will be done. I am praying that my upper pouch is not stretched the way Dr. Fox thinks it is. I want this so bad and I pray it is in God's plan. I guess on Thursday we will see!! I really feel like a failure. A really big failure!!

I have decided to be on liquids until my appointment Thursday. In fact, I had already decided that I was going on liquids before my appointment today because I know it could possibly help in my pouch going back to normal (as much as possible anyway). So far today I have had less than 1000 calories. I am still a little bit hungry but I'm not eating anything else tonight. The normal eating plan is 1000 calories a day so I need to get used to it.

Not only have I had to endure the harshness of my doctor I had to endure the emotions of thinking about my dad. Today would have been my parents 53rd wedding anniversary. I know my mom has probably had a hard day but I just can't call her. Tomorrow will be even more difficult as it will be the 2 year anniversary of my dad's death. I just want to get through this week with just a little bit of emotion left.

I get to see my Lap Band doctor today - I am so excited but nervous at the same time.  It's been over 2 years since I've seen him or been to the fill center.  Hope everything looks good and I can schedule a fill - I want so bad to get back on this journey.

Have a blessed day,

Lori

One day closer to my doctor's appointment on Monday.  I am nervous about what Dr Fox will tell me but excited at the same time to get back on this journey.  I have not had any restriction for 2 years so I am ready to get this journey started.

After wasting almost 4 years of not being on track and doing what it takes to lose weight with my Lap Band I am getting back on track.  I have gained almost all of my weight back and it's time to really take control of my eating and of my life and reach my weight loss goals. 

With that being said, at 2:30 on Monday, March 29, 2010 I will be seeing Dr. Fox to get information needed and approval to begin getting my adjustments.  I have not seen him in over 2 years and with gaining almost all of my weight back I'm sure I will get a good talking to......that is what I need.

I hope I can get the help and support I need.  I am new to this website and I am still trying to figure out where everything is on the site.  I look forward to making new friends and help those that I can.  Most of all, I am looking for support and to support others as only Lap Band patients can.

Talk to you all soon,

Lori