whispering-thoughts

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Okay... So I finally had the nerve to add some pics.  There are only 9 and they start from about a month and a half prior to surgery and end on July 6th.  $0 pounds down.  I avergaged about 2 pounds a week until last month.  I was letting head hunger and emotional hunger make me snack.. it is really a mental thing as well.  So last month, I averaged 1 1/2 pounds a week.  Down 40 pounds, and staying focused this month.  I like the way I am loosing slow and healthy.  Enjoy...

So far I am down 40 pounds and I am half way there.  It hasnt been too bad.  I do know what head hunger is know, and I have pushed my band to limits at times being greedy. I will always be a big girl with a big girl mentality if I keep tis up.  But at least I recognize what it is.  I am an emotional eater.  If I cant eat I shop.  Right now, I cant do much of anu, so I am increasing my walking and looking for another avenue to nurture my thoughts.

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Well, i am down 34 pounds since surgery.  I hope I continue to stay focus.  Goal for the next 10 pounds.....  No eating out.  I have been eating out for the last 3 weeks.  Thank God, I make wise choices, but the food hurt trying to digest.  Update on July 10, 2009.  My next appointment.  And no I did not get a fill.  I did last month, so I am working on this fill for 2 months.  Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.

Tomorrow will mark a month since I was banded. When i went to the doctor on Friday, I was down 25 pounds.  I still have the stiches in me, since,my port incision opened up.  I will have them in for another two weeks and then I may be do for my first fill.  I am kind of nervous about it hurting or burning.

I am so tired of having burning and soreness in my abdominal area.  Well today, after I came back from a workshop, I got a little mucnhy.  I stopped bythe mall and thought the string cheese I bought with me would hold me over.  But I took a sample from Chic Fila.....  I ended up getting a order of nuggets!  I chewed each one like 50 times, figuring i would get full after two or three, but I was able to eat all 8!

This sucks,  because up until that moment, I couldnt east 3/4 cups without feeling like a was going the develop heartburn and to full to breathe.  I hope this will past...

25 pounds down and counting........ 62 more to go????? Although I will be  happy with 50, but me and my surgeon have not settled on this.

I just do not want to loose 100 pounds!!!!!!

So I had to get stitched up where my port was because it was leaking and it burns like crazy.  It has the nerve to be leaking again.  I feel like I need comfort food.  Just venting.  Happy Easter weekend.

Well, I am down 17.4 pounds since my surgery two weeks ago.  Not bad for lap band.  Especially since the average weight loss is 2 to 3 pounds per week.  I have not had a fill as of yet.

Today I had to get stitches   since my port site opened up.  Man did that thing sting and it burns now.  I did not get anything to numb me so, I have to do less bending and lifting.  This sucks.  I hate feeling helpless.  Other than that I have been able to determine when I am hungry and full.

My appetite is better, still can not quite get through a cup of food per serving.  I am at half a cup, and doing better with the liquids. 

My birthday was Sunday, and I did okay.  Just eat the salmon, it was delicious.  I did not eat all day, hoping that I would be able to eat the whole piece, but I wasn't able to.  My cousin baked me a chocolate cake I stayed away.  But I did have the thinnest slice the other day.  It went down rough.  I tried to eat some Chinese chicken and that did not sit well either.  For the remainder of this week until my next appointment, I am going back to the basics....

Had my post-op visit today, and shared my concerns with my nutritionist and surgeon.  I down 16.7 pounds, since I saw her last week.  She (the nutritionist) informed me it can be an adjustment, and I did good, despite not being able to get thru all of the meals... She also told me to talk to Dr. J-B about the pain, that I have been having.

Dr. J-B, said I did a good job.  He gave me a script to get an abdominal x-ray, to make sure the band was where it was suppose to be.

I have graduated from puree foods, to soft foods.  Thank God.  Still haven't been able to eat a full 1/2 cup meal.

This week's goal:  get my fluids in,  both proteins, and 3 mini meals a day.  It is really a lot, and makes me feel, all I do is eat or attempt to all day.

I did not eat this much before the band......   Wish me Luck

So, I made it through the weekend. 

Saturday I was in and out of sleep and still a little in pain.  Although it was somewhat bearable.  I did not take the pains meds as schedule, only when I felt I couldn't deal with it any more.  Let me just say, that that day was hard for me as far as the  clear liquids were concerned. I just couldn't get through all of the liquids.  My favorite drink which is apple juice didn't even tasted the same.  I am not sure if it is because I have this awful mucus type cold or that my taste buds just didn't like it.
  What I do know, is that I dont care if I never eat chicken broth again!!~!!!!

Sunday was the start of my pureed food.  Breakfast was an egg and a quarter of grits which I couldn't finish.  I felt like I had heart burn, gas, or needed to vomit.  The rest of the day was no better.  I just did not feel hungry, and getting through the drinks as far as timing was frustrated.  It took me like 4 hours to finish the drinking.  I did not get three meals in, and I am starting to wonder....  If I did  the right thing?
 
I did however, finally have a bowel movement after five days, and burped alot.  So, the saga continues.....

The worst part, that has stuck with me up until this morning, is the over whelming saddness that is over me> I can not understand why I cried my self st sleep last night????

Well.... I have to be at the  hospital at 5:30 in the morning.  I guess I'll sleep with the anesthesia.  I am nervous and covering myself in prayers.  Wish me luck.

12 hours 20 minutes to a newer me.....