wmelanie
I have a wonderful husband, 1 biological son and 1 adopted and 1 almost adopted son.
I have been fat all of my adult life. I started out skinny, then was thick by the time I graduated from high school (160-lbs standing at 5'8") . When I moved in with my husband I gained almost 20-lbs in the first few months. Moving in with him added on more bad eating habits, he would eat the meal I cooked and two hours later go to a fast food place and eat another big meal with of course lots of sweet. I was not use to eating like that and soon found myself over 220 and it grew from their. I can' t say pregnancy put the weight on me. I only gained 17 lbs when I was pregnant with my biological son and I lost that and a few more in a matter of two months after giving birth. I kept the weight pregnancy weight off for a few years but I could never go down lower than 240.
I'm an emotional eater. Whenever I would become very upset I would eat way more than I eat normally (bottomless pit). Over the last 7 years I've become better at not letting my emotions control my eating habits, but I have yet to gain control over the fact that I love to eat late at night.
I have terrible eating habits that started in high school. I did not eat breakfast, I still don't care for breakfast, and normally don't eat until around 1:00pm most days. I've had diabetes for 11 years, and I have recently started trying treat myself better. I haven't had much difficulties, but realized last year that I'm getting older and if I don't get a handle on it I will be in major trouble soon. So I now try to eat a banana or peanut butter for breakfast (like I said I don't like breakfast). I can either eat a normal lunch, but dinner (my achilles heel), I make up for what I missed out on. One of my biggest concerns is how I will deal with the head hunger, it's really bad when I'm bored. I will eat things I wouldn't normally go near. When I was diagnosised w/diabetes I was weighing 347. I lost around 50-55 lbs the following year by just trying not to overeat at night. I have like everyone else lost and gained every year. My body has settled into a pattern of usually weighting anywhere between 290 - 320. I move back and forth and my clothes sizes never change, I can wear the same outfit I brought 12 years ago.
My health has been declining over the past 5 years. I've earned two promotions over the last 10 years and with the promotions I also gained more stress. I went from taking 1 diabetic meds when I was first diagnosised 11 years ago to taking 3 med for diabetes, 1 for hypertension, 1 for cholesterol, 1 for my anemia ( I have fibroid tumors) and I just earned a new one in Feb for arthritisis.
I also forgot to mention that I have sleep apnea for the last 5 years. Which I seldom use the machine so you know I stay tired.
My insurance with not cover any weight loss procedures *Exclusions*. I am a self pay. I finally decided to just pull money from my retirement account to pay surgery . I realized that I may not make it to retirement if I keep going this way and after all am I not worth the investment.
I'm tired of being tired. I live in Miami, and I will not go anywhere in the summer months that require that I stay outside for more than a moment without shade. I know for a fact that I feel so much better when I drop at least 20-lbs and start walking. I have to rub my body down everytime I get up if I've been sitting for a while. I'm getting to the point that I need for my husband to give me a hand to get that push off when rising from a sitting position. I don't get out of breath easily from walking b/c I walk a mile or two every few months on and off. When I'm good I do about 12-15 miles a week 3/4 days.
I find that I lose better when I go to the gym late in evening, because I won't come home and eat a lot after a vigorous work out.
I am only 22 days away from surgery. I not frighten by the pain, because I know that eventually it will go away. I prepare for the worst and pray for the best. I'm more concerned with not having a heart attack. I fixated on that
, but it does not deter me. My PCP has already done some blood work and an EKG this week. I'm schedule to do a chest X-Ray and am waiting for a date for my stress test.
I will start purchasing items I need next week.
