l.j

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Soooo, i will be graduating in a couple weeks and im super excited but im also a little concerned.  Heres the thing, its time for me to start going in the way of my career but who going hire a young male with braids or a ponytail? Chances are i will lose out on a lot of opportunities and i cannot afford for that to happen. My parents seem to think its time fore a haircut but i hate the idea of cutting it (even tho im tired of it.) I am afraid that i wouldnt look right or that my face will look even fatter than it does (hopefully not for long.) I can't even imagine how i'd look. What do you guys think? ohh btw.. 40 lbs down approx. 3 mos. post, Very slow but imma continue at it.

As you guys do or don't know, i had my surgery on feb 4. It has been 10 1/2 weeks and i have lost 34 lbs. I cannot really tell much difference but some can. On one note i am kind of dissapointed because i had a goal of a 100 lbs loss at 5 mos. This isn't impossible so i was so sure it was going to happen. However, i realize that i cannot beat myself up considering the life changes that i have made and goals that have been accomplished. 

Well because this was a blog about my fill, here we go>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
There wasnt really nothing to it. I don't know why i expect everything to be so much worse than it really is. The only issue i had was with wait; how long it took me to be called in. The office i go to double books people all the time for some reason, they "don't know" why they do, they just do. New found patience kept me in that office for an hour before finally being called in. Once i got in he gave me 1.5 cc's fill, for a total of 6 cc's in a 10cc band. I am hoping this is it for a while considering the next time i go in will finally be my turn to pay for follow-up and fills. I have been pretty much drinking all day because i'm too afraid to eat something at the moment, fearing pb and stuckage. My next appt. for another fill is in 3 months, hopefully this fill really lasts that long. LETS SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I purposely told only my immediate family (mom, dad, sister)  and a best friend about this surgery. I never expected my business to reach outside of that circle. BUt guess what? it has, and now i am really upset about it. NO one seems to know how it got out, they all act clueless as if i had told everyone. The reason i wanted to keep this surgery a secret is because my family is extremely judgemental and they would just grill me about my decision to get wls. Yea only a few people know, but anothet thing about my famliy is that they have big mouths, they can't hold water. It is going to spread like a wildfire that "L.J got weight-loss surgery", I already know, and i am not ready to defend or explain myself. So what do i do? I have planned to just tell them i didn't follow through and that i just had a couple of hernias repaired. I dont know what to do and I never considered an alternative plan for a situation like this because i felt so secure that this wouldn't leave those i trusted.

As you guys do or don't know my surgery date was feb. 4th, this past wednesday. Everything went better than i expected. The pain is bearable but its still pain. Still very sore, they kept me over night because of my sleep apnea, i have very mild sleep apnea but they just wanted to be sure that everything goes well. I was so nervous before i went in, my blood pressure was high as a kite but after wards it dropped to 114/51. The nurse seemed very concerned and said that it would be best to leave after my the bottom number reached at least 60. So i just got home about 30 minutes ago. The gas pain is out this world, the gas x strips dont seem to be doing much, but then again I'm not sure if its the gas alone or if its the soreness thats causing the pain. Dr. Ponce slightly filled my band, not sure why he did, it's very rare that it happens, but i can still eat and drink what i am supposed to. The staff were extremely nice, i couldn't have asked for better people, they reminded me what a better life i will have and what a good year this would be for me. The nurses and the anesthigologist (sp?) especially were the most attentitive and caring. I barely saw Dr. Ponce, he must have been extremely busy but i really wanted to talk to him and know personally how everything went (liver size, how much he put in band, hernia, how my insides looked and etc.) He however did talk to my parents in the waiting room and told them simply how it went. I arrived at 6am and thats when they took me in the room to get changed. Soon after the anes. Dr. talked to me which kind of made me feel a little more comfortable, then he pushed my bed to the operating room where i was greeted by some of the nurses who were extremely kind, complementing me and how handsome i was...and the hair, its not as good as everyone thinks it is, lol. Then....... I remember nothing else after scooting on to the operating table. I came to about 1 1/2 hrs. later in the recovery room, and there is where i waited till they got me a room. It was alllll good just in a little pain. Eeekk!!! alot of pressure is what it feels like, especially when i drink or eat the broth or jello. But all in all it was a life changing experience and everythingg went  WELL. Thank God! Thanx for your support everyone

Surgery is tommorrow!!! I'm pretty freaked tho, kinda nervous. I was so happy a couple of days ago but now it kinda hit me that its possible that something could go wrong. Butttt...... imma get over it. I have never been taught to fear anything but God and i aint goin to start now. Imma go prepare, Pray for me ya'll.

Suprisingly the protein shakes worked out pretty good today. Not as hungry as i thought I'd be but i still look at food and want to eat it. Not sure if that is going to get any easier but im up for the challenge.
Sooo on to another issue... Im usually not a mean guy, actually im quite nice, a little to nice at times but my case manager still finds a way to piss me off even after me being approved. I am no longer calling about my predetermination status or paperwork, I handled that myself. However, i am clueless as to why i had to pay a 450 dollar doctor fee (what does that mean? why is it seperate from the other fees i wil have to pay for the surgery?)...where my surgery will be (theres 4 different location)... what time...
All i have to do is ask right? Yea, well she didnt know anything. Why would you set me up with a date and not have any clue about anything else?
It's time to meet with my surgeon. I thought I would be nice and let her off easy when she gave up and didn't help me when i was trying to get approved, but i can't be passive about this. He needs to know and i need to know.

This is unheard of. For Half of a month i can only drink lean protein shakes? It's only day 1 and i am having a super hard time trying not to eat whats in the freezer. I look at all the food my sister just shopped for- taquitos, chimichangas, chips and dip, chicken nuggets and just think how good it must feel (momentarily of course) to indulge in such great, appetizing, and delicious comfort foods. What am i going to do? i have 12 days left... Ohh yea about that... i figured since i really didnt have time to prepare and stock up on protein powder i just use the first of the fourteen days to eat up what ever i can and shop for the protein. It worked out but the day passed so quickly, and now...IM HUNGRY! But im determined, i need this for myself....
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But 2 weeks?

GO STEELERS!!!

HAD TO SHARE THAT JOY AS WELL. LOL!

Guess what........??????
I'm approved! Yes, I said it, I am really approved and have a date. So as you all do or do not know it has been a longggg lonnggg road, and it wasn't a freshly paved one either. Though it did not take me as long as some, which i am extremely thankful for, i still wish it could have been sooner. Graduation is right around the corner... But neway, nonetheless... I'm excited. So whats next? Today i get a call from the case manager asking when i want to schedule the procedure, and of course i say asap thinking it would be atleast a month from now. How bout Feb. 4th is my date, how bout it is only 2 weeks from now. I start my pre-op liquid protein diet tommorrow. *Lord give me the will*. This of course is going to be different but cant wait to start it. All in all my it's finally my time and i am a bit nervous. I have never been soooo sure about anything in my life but for some reason im a bit tripped out. *I'll get over it...right?*
This all happened so quick. I thought there was medical clearance, tests and other random things that had to be taken care of before i was able to have the surgery... I guess not. But neway that is the update,i haven't been around in a while but imma be back soon *tommorrow*. Thanx to everyone for the words of encouragement that you have supplied me with.

So my lack of medical history has completely ruined my chances of being approved for wls. It is kind of absurd and it frustrates me that my information will not even be reviewed without it. After talking with the insurance co. rep she let me know that for the lack of my medical history pictures will not be accepted. WTF? i have heard alot of success with this and figured that it was a way to go if a 5 year medical history was hard to obtain. 
I guess i figured i had a chance since my nurse called and said that it was all being sent up for medical review, but when i called the insurance co today i was told that it never left their floor. I always thought there was someone over the reps that i can talk to but apparently theres no direct number that can be given for customers to call to speak to someone of "power" and my info will not be reviewed without 5 year medical history. Giving up is hard to do but what else can be done? i have tried every possible thing and i dont even wanna think about self pay i already have enough school loans and cant afford to dig my self deeper into debt. This has truly pissed me off to no end. 
I didnt realize untiill today how this process can be extremely stressful. Its ming boggling sitting around waiting for the insurance to call you with the best info you will ever hear in life. I cant begin to tell you how anxious i have been since i first started putting all my time and effort into wls. i rather hear the words theres no way i can get approved or there is a way and here is the way so i can stop waiting and wondering what im goping to hear next time i call up there.
Alternatives? more research. more time. more energy that i dont have around this time of the year with work, school and finals.