DarcyM
11-7-04 Happy New Me
A year ago today I was thanking God that I made it through surgery. Now if I can make it through one more day……
November 7, 2003 the day that has changed my life and will be forever sketched in my mind. Everything went as planned; they even took me into surgery early. Which after the many surgeries I have had in my life was not only a first but unthinkable. I came through surgery and have spent this past year with no complications. I am one of the lucky ones. The one that we all hope that we are. Now I need to make sure it continues that way by doing what I am suppose to do.
My highest weight was 347. I weighed this in May of 2003. I had already been researching WLS, had already been doing the footwork. This just helped reinforce my decision. At that point I was put on water pills, potassium pills and the high cholesterol –Lescol meds. I was scared. My dad died at 55 with heart disease. Was I even going to see 50? Was I even going to see any of my grandchildren? These things were extremely important to me.
There were things that I couldn’t do or were hard for me to do:
Breath
Walk
Wipe my butt, which often gave me a bad odor even though I showered every day.
House work (ok so there were some pluses)
Meet new people.
Sleep (I had sleep apnea and had a C-pap)
Shop not only because of the walking but nothing fit. By this time I was in a 5X.
I couldn’t go to functions because I didn’t have anything to wear.
I couldn’t shave my legs very well.
I couldn’t paint my toe nails, or cut my nails.
Go on our boat.
They physical things that I was dealing with:
3 foot surgeries from naromas.
Shin splints when I tried to walk for exercise.
Sleep Apnea
High Cholesterol
Constant back problems
Syatic Nerve problems
I was hiding from the world. I didn’t want anyone to see me. I would see someone I knew in a store and would go the other way. If I came face to face with someone I would pray that they didn’t recognize me and would NEVER point out that it was me.
My work suffered in that I would not speak up in meetings or would not take on any responsibilities that would draw attention to me.
I wouldn’t go places with my hubby because I physically or mentally couldn’t not do it. We have a boat, I was afraid that I would sink it. We have a yearly camping trip at the coast. I had no idea what the camp grounds looked like as I couldn’t walk around. I would stay in our camp site the entire time. I was not living I was just waiting around to die.
It had taken me a year to make the decision to look into the surgery. To even let it enter my head as a way of hope. By the time I hit 347 I knew that I had to do something and if I wanted to live it had to be something that I had to comit to the rest of my life because that’s what I wanted a life. I admitted that my weight more than just out of control, it was going to kill me. With my dad dying at such a early age I have had many years looking of thinking to myself all the things that he had missed with his grandchildren growing up. The grandchildren he hadn’t seen. The children he had raised become adults. (I don’t thing I was a real adult until my 40’s lol) How much I miss him. I didn’t want my children to go through the pain I felt and still fee at times. How could I do that to them when I could prevent it?
The decision was made yep this is what I’m going to do now which do I want. For me it was a no brainier. RNY and hopefully LAP. My PCP and husband were right on board with this. My PCP let me lead the way and we got the first approval with the insurance to meet with a surgeon. As we know it’s just not that simple. I started the meetings and getting what I needed in order to see the surgeon. Well part way through he decided to do a political thing with the hospital and stop doing surgeries. So then I had to find another surgeon. With referrals from others I found one in another town that I was interested in. I went to her orientation meeting. YES! I liked her program, her follow-up and her stats. With most of the work done I was able to get in and see her and with little hassle I was ready for approval. Insurance approved me first time around. Now don’t think that I wasn’t involved in making sure all the I’s were dotted and T’s crossed, because I did. I followed up with making sure this office got this paper work. That office got that paper work. If I didn’t hear back within a time frame, depending on what information we were dealing with at that time, I called. I called until I got the information that was needed. I can’t tell you what I felt when I called the insurance company to see if they had received the paperwork and was told yes they had and it had been approved. Just like that. Of course I had her repeat it. I called the surgeons office and they said cool, lets schedule your date.
Only once during that time did I falter and think maybe not. My mom was so against it. She has lost so many people in her life that the thought of loosing me (one of her children) was an unbearable thought and I understood it. When her brother died she called me crying and even offered to walk with me daily (bless her heart) I had my biggest supporter, my sister, talk to her. After that I started to give her information to read. I would include her in on all that was going on. I would also tell people in front of her that even though I knew she did not want me to do this, I knew that she would be there for me. And she was and still is.
So here I am 1 year later. From my highest I have lost 172 lbs. I am currently at 175 which is where my PCP wanted to see me. I am hoping to get to 150. But I feel so good I could stop loosing now and as long as I don’t gain, I’m a happy camper.
My BMI has gone from 57.7 to 29.1
My cholesterol has gone from 270 to176
No water pills, potassium pills, and no lescol
I don’t use the C-pap anymore
Now I can:
Breath
Walk
Wipe my butt, (and use much less TP)
House work (yippee skippy)
Meet new people.
Shop –but I still can’t seem to get into it. I’m still afraid I will wake up and it’s been a dream.
Go to functions
Shave my legs
Paint my toe nails, give myself pedicures and have them done as a treat
Go on our boat
I also:
Was able to be at our first grandbaby birth and was an active participant in her birth.
Get my nails done as a treat. (I had always said in any diet I had been on that when I got under 200 I would get my nails done and keep them.)
Walk my dogs and not get shin splints
Wear shoes other than Birkenstocks
Find something to wear for any occasion that has come up.
Currently in a size 14, which I hadn’t seen since my early 20’s.
Crawl on the floor with that grandbaby and can get back up on my own.
Not only have I gotten on that boat with hubby. I am taking scuba diving lessons.
I don’t hide from people in the stores anymore, I go up and start talking to them and wait for them to ask who I am.
Drag my hubby to all sorts of functions because life is too short to live it at home in recluse.
Pulled the car seat up because I was too far back.
When we camped this summer I took 2 mile walks most days. Sat and watched the sun set the beach. Meet our neighbors, even had dinner with them one night.
Don’t take 2 days to do the weekly house work, it now takes 2 hrs. ( I don’t have to take breaks because of my back.)
When hubby wants to do something when I remember that I’m not carrying all that weight around I know that I can do it.
I’m taking on more responsibilities at work that involve people looking at me.
I have not made an appointment with my PCP in a year because of an ach or pain.
Gone back to church to thank the man who is truly responsible for this miracle.
I just plain feel good.
Oh I can flap by batwings and thighs!!!
As I said earlier this I have had no complications. I was talking about physical. I did have my adjustment time in the beginning. Learning how little I could eat and when to stop. Things that didn’t agree with my pouch. I have learned that feeling of when to stop. But now the head things are coming to play.
These are the things I am working on dealing with:
Not to take another bite when I am obviously full.
Drinking water. I have never gotten the 64 a day. I get close on some days.
Exercising regularly. I am very sporadic with my exercise. Hence I’m sure of the bat wings and thigh and calf winkles.
Some days only 600-800 in calories. I find that I loose better with 1000-1200 cals a day.
I still have that choc thing going.
I am a work in progress, and I will be working on all of this until I get it right.
Failure is not falling down, it’s not getting back up.
Darcy
5/12/04-6 months out and I am forever grateful for this surgery and what it has done for me. I weighed in at 220 this morning. That's 87 from surgery and 127 from my highest, which was a year ago. I can't belive the difference I feel, how great I feel. How much I am on the go again. The bad side, I can now vaccum again. :( lol**
My daughters told me the other day they didn't realize I was short until now. I don't think I shrunk in height, but who knows. I am so focused on how I feel, it is great to be alive and kicking again. I saw my reflection in the mirror the other day and was amazed at what I saw. I still have no full length mirrors in the house so when I came across one, I just stood there and wondered who that person was. I didn't feel this good on the way up but I sure do now.
Watch out world Darcy is on the move again!!
4/8/04. Wow has it been that long since I wrote. I guess there is more to life than the internet. I am now 5 months out. With a total of 112 lbs off from my highest. 40 before surgery. I no longer wear my CPAP, no longer take water pills or potasium. My cholestrol was gone from 289 to 145. I can sit in a chair without my thights hurting from the arms of the chair. I can walk around without thinking I'm gonna die before I get to where I want to go. Or have to stop and rest. I can fit in a regular stall in the bathroom. I fit into clothes that I haven't seen in years and didn't expect to try them on and they fit. I can vaccum again (which I haven't decided if it's a good thing or a bad thing). I don't smell like hummm how can I put this nicely.....bad odors even though I just showered. I now have boxes and boxes that don't fit me because they are too big rather than too small.
I have a 4 month old grandaughter who will only know her grandma as being fat in those pictures.
I feel so much better, better than I thought I would ever feel again. I have had a good recovery and it just keeps going. I have made some good strides in keeping my focus on using my tool rather than trying to fool my tool. (like who is the fool)
I still want to loose 65-85 lbs. And for once I think I have a chance.
God Bless Amercia
Darcy
1/6/04 Happy New Year. Well Since my last writing I am down 10 more 10 more lbs and haven't had my weigh in this week. I have come to believe that I am normal. I'm not one of those drastic loosers but a looser none the less. Which is better than a failure. I am still in the learning process and it all takes time. Now I hope to keep that attitude up and don't wallow in so and so's drastic weight loss and get green with envy. There is lessons to be learned and I hope that I learn them better than I have in the past when I have lost weight. I will try now and write once a month to let you know where I'm at.
12/21/03. I had my surgery on the 7th of November. I weighed in at 306. I am now at 285. Thats only 21 lbs since surgery and I'm starting to have a hard time dealing with that. What piddly amount that I eat, trying to get all the water in and protein. Exersising and for the last week I have lost nota, zip, ziltch. I'm now tracking on fitday.com to see what I'm really doing. I bought a new sweater yesterday to help me feel better. But dang I want to loose weight. I've lost more inches than weight, which is good.
11/01/03 I had my preop and pre admissions yesterday. All went well and I was flabergasted to find I lost 14 more lbs. My highest was (I love that word was) 347. I now am at 315. My husband had to work so I took a friend with me. Which I believe was Gods intervention. After we left we decided to go stop and eat before we got home (2 hr drive and she hadn't eaten all day, I had 2 protein drinks all day) I was good and had grilled tuna. Anyway I was really scared about if I was dying. What if I didn't come home from the hospital. What if I was that 1%, I'm not scared that I can do this, or it won't work. But that dying thing really got to me. She is such a spirtitual person that she helped me through this. I am so calm now (and of course it's not Thursday or Friday yet). I have been on so many diets all my life. My first one being in the 4th grade. I don't know any other way to live. I know that will be something for me to overcome but I have found that I have such a large support group that I know I will overcome obsticals that will be coming my way. Isn't it great to be alive. Is it great to be an Oregon Beaver Fan today!
10/29/03. Last week I found out I was approved, this week I have a date. November 7th. I am so busy at work getting ready and I haven't even started with what I need to do at home.
I'm in countdown now.
10/11/03 My appointment was moved up by 1 day. All went well, my first one on with with Dr. Patterson. Both my husband and I feel good about my choice of physicians. Now I am waiting, not patiently mind you, for my information to be passed on to the insurance company. Dr Patterson told us that my insurance, Pacificare will no longer be approving this surgery after the first of the year. I'm afraid they might try and stall. She also said it maybe December before I have surgery. I can't tell you how disapointed I am with that. Our first grandchild is due Dec 10th and I so want to be there and afraid of Murphy's law.
8/28/03 Update on my progress. I have an appointment with Dr Patterson on 10/2. I have to be at my appointment at 7:45AM. Thats a 2 hr drive from home and during rush hour. But I will be there and I will be on time. I am now starting to get nervous.
After my decision to have this surgery and the local Dr here in Corvallis pulled a political move not to do surgeries until the local hospital gave him what he wanted. I have found the best surgeon for me. (see God does work in mysterious ways). I have been accepted by Dr. Emma Pattersen of Portland Oregon. I found out last Friday, June 20th. I now feel that I am on the road a gain and starting to move forward instead of treading water.
I will be writing my PCP with a list of items I/she needs from him and will be able to schedule my first appointment with her by the end of July I pray!
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Member Interests:
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Surgeon Info:
Surgeon: Emma Patterson, M.D.
I found Emma to be very professional. But I also felt her to be very concerned for my well being. Everyones well being. My first contact with her was during her informational session. There was no question in my mind that she knew what she was doing and she was top notch. None of this has changed, I still would recommend her to anyone. Her office staff could learn to practice privacy with regards to conversations that they have at the counter. When you sign on with Emma, you sign on for life. The program is still evolving, but the foundation is definately there and improvements are always being made. I thought her competence and bedside manner was very high.
Insurer Info:
Darcy Mitchell, Pacific Care
I cannot complain about the whole ordeal with my insurance. I did however keep on top of everyone to make sure everyone had what they needed, what I needed, etc. To make sure I knew exactly where I was in the process and what if anything I needed to do to move things along. At one point I thought I was getting the run around, but when I mentioned it, the person I was talking to put me on hold and made phone calls to find out what status I had. Pacificare requires the paperwork to go to your PCP. Oh yeah, he came back and said I had been approved and everyone would receive the paperwork by the following Wednesday (this was a Thursday).