dbarr
I tried this once before, back in November 2010, but the timing was not good! So I have already gone through the excitement of getting the approval, the surgery date...and all of it! But this time, I AM following through with it. This time I HAVE to. Since November 2010, I have come down with high blood pressure. I have noticed some swelling in my legs...some pain in my knee. I have noticed that when I eat things now, I could feel it going right to my chin. I'm rewriting my story right now....today I started my liquid diet and in two weeks, I will be going for the surgery. It's time for me to get my pen out and start writing the next chapter....the rest of the story....the one with the happy ending!!!
My story is this....There is a skinny person inside of me! I am typically a pretty confident person...until I catch a glimpse of myself in the store window...or fall out of my chair at work because I'm trying to pick up the pen I just dropped. How embarassing, right? I blame it on the rolling chair....but the truth is, it's cause I am struggling bending over trying to pick it up! It's these little details that pop out at me every now and then that make me feel vulnerable, insecure, and downright sad. They remind me that I'm not that skinny person I used to know...the one that could cross her legs, or run all three bases in softball after a lucky hit without breaking a sweat. I'm not the same person that used to play tennis in highschool, or ride my bike everywhere....and I want to be there again.
Let's rewrite our stories together....the one where we dont' have to take our meds anymore cause we no longer have diabetes or high blood pressure. The one where we aren't embarassed to eat out because people are NOT interested in seeing how much food they bring to our table and then watching us eat it, giggling behind our backs. The one where people don't tell me that if I dyed my hair pink, I'd look just like Ms. Piggy. Yes, this has happened! And it didn't make me feel any better when I thought to myself, "But ms piggy has blonde hair, not pink...."
