IrishRN

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I am feeling calm. I am not sure if it is because I don't believe it is happening or because I
have given up and felt I would live out my life like my mother fighting my weight.
I think the first thing I am looking forward to is socializing again. Going places and meeting people.
I have given my life to my two boys and resigned myself as a heavy person.
To finally of break free it is unbelievable

My surgery is almost here. Tuesday. I first got a call to ask if I would change my date I told them I couldn't
I had too much coordinating. So it is still the same date. Then I received a call that my pre op labs showed I
have a UTI so I am on antibiotics and surgery is still on.
What next???

I have found that i have been given such a gift. That is the gift of support from many of the people from here.
I have felt alone while going through this process dealing with the negativity at my work. Putting everything in perspective I am getting ready to walk through that door.
I am nervous and excited. Nervous because I will not have anyone at home when I get there. I will do fine myself. I will get through all of this to come out better on the other side.

My son??? Keeps up the attitude the cell phone will be shut off!!

Have been nothing but a bunch of emotions. I started my preop diet. it is there food. It has a total
of 800-900 calories a day though mine have been 750-830. I am depressed and want to just isolate myself
so I can try to focus.
Surgery is 10 days away. I am so scared.

From Friday through today the stress in my life has shot up. I had to pick up my oldest in Indy following the championship for drum ccorp. Between that and having problems with our hotel being terrible the day we left I got to be on the road with many and I mean many Colt fans. As they had a game the day we had our banquet.
I took Monday off thank goodness I am exhausted only for my son to tell me last night he is moving out today. He told me that way so I wouldn't have an opportunity to get upset.
He just turned 20 doesn't dirve lost his job before he left for the summer and he is moving on campus. I am happy for him and now it is my time in life but why does it hurt so bad? I feel it was only yesterday he was holding my hand.

Well I spoke to my boss. She is fantastic. She is the best boss, mentor I have ever had. She said that I must be really mad at her because she voiced how she feels about this surgery. She said she was wrong and that she sees a difference in me I told her I have a new leasse on life that I am being given. I am happy. I am a little scared but that is normal. She said you must be so upset at me I told her no I love you. You were just worried. She is anxious to see how I do. I am taking 2 1/2 weeks off My surgery is in the middle of the week . My first week back she said I could work from home.

I am blown away at the generosity and kindness of the company I work for and my boss

Erin

I have traveled the long road of yo yo dieting and have finally reached the end. I have
finally reached the door. I have my surgery date and insurance approval. nothing left
but time till my surgery date.

On September 21st 2010 the door will open and I will walk through to begin a new journey
in my life. A road to health and happiness. it will not be an easy one but my past has been
long and unhappy.

I look forward to meeting the new people that will come into my life, all of my new adventures
to be.

I went to my first surgical support group this evening and it really validates how I feel.
All the people talked about how they would sweat  for no reason. I have that. How they would
get short of breath, I get that way. How the heat bothers them - I feel like that.

It was a positive experience and I know I will be back. Tomorrow I am meeting with my surgeon.
I am really excited.

I am 47 years old and why do i seek the acceptance from others? Sonce telling my friend about my procedure and wanting her to be happy for me it didn't turn out that way. What I don't understand is the things she said to me is occupying my mind instead of celebrating a new lease on life?

For a long time I was against barriatric surgery. Like many of the small minded Americans I thought anyone could lose weight and surgery was an excuse. After several years of research abd people being cured of diseases I looked at it as a tool to assist in losing weight. The more I learned the more I felt foolish for my previous views.

I have met some wonderful supportive people on this site. I am grateful for the support but I am still struggling for her approval. i need to be able to walk away and soley concentrate on my new journey.

When she said I would have to explain myself to my other co-workers with my weightloss. like it was something dirty
or that I was a failure. i don't need to explain anything. I am not the first person nor the last in my company to have the surgery. We have a person that lost over 100 pounds on his own. Great, but what is sad is he gained it all back plus more. So, is that healthy??

It saddens me to have to close the door on the friendship but exciting that I am opening another one in return. Someone said to me it is not her life and if she can't be happy for me then she was never truly a friend

Well, my appointments have started and things are moving quickly. I am excited and yet I'm not. i will believe it once I have
my surgery date. Once my insurance company gives the final approval. From what I have been told getting the surgical eval was the hardest part. I already obtained that.

I have been hit with disappointment. Someone I have been there for support has told me how she feels about it. She doesn't approve. She feels I will go back to my emotional eating when I am stressed. Though I have identified why I eat, she doesn't know that the majority of the reason is I am unhappy with myself.

So I venture forward. I have met new friends and will be attending a surgical support group every Monday. I will form new friendships and possibly say goodbye to old ones. My behaviorist said I will lose some friends. So, I am trying to prepare myself for it.

Why is it people look at the surgery as the easy way out?? I was one of those people till I really researched it. I have foudn it is only a tool. People have gotten their lvoes back. I want to be off my medications as I improve my health.