jliza001

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

... this week has seemed so long and so HOT!

Started my Pouch test -- haven't been able to complete a day yet, but like I tell my husband, each morning I have had a protein shake (well.. one day I didn't) but still 3 out of four days isn't bad considering.

Anyhow.. here's the list. It's pretty bad, but I did manage to stave off the biscotti (YAY!) and mexican food (whew!)

- protein shake
- cup of cherrios
- vons turkey sandwich with cheese, veggies, and olive spread
- green grapes
- organic "teddy grahams" (will NOT buy these again. My son hated them and I LOVED them... not a good combo.)
- 5 potstickers w/ green beans
- 1/2 cherry cola
- coffe with cream & sweetener
- a light beer (its been a rough day)

Well... I thought I had gone off the deep end. Stepping into rough waters with the teddy grahams, yes, but it could have been worse (and can always be better!)

I AM (!) going to try liquids again. I was going to wait until Saturday to reset (just giving me an excuse to eat popcorn tomorrow) - but I think it would be better try tomorrow. Who knows, maybe I will go all the way.  AND if, I mean WHEN I complete Day 1... Day 2 becomes that much easier.

Lets see if I can remember to walk my butt out to the studio, get my calcium tablets and take them. And go to the gym. I didn't go today or monday... yikes!

Ciao for now....

I really feel like OH.com is such a great place -- I feel so safe here just getting everything out. Ah. So I tried to do the liquid diet again today. Perhaps it would work better if I started the day with a protein shake INSTEAD of coffee. I was grouchy by noon and ended up eating a 1/2 sandwich.. but I don't think I ate anything TOO unhealthy. I picked up the mini $1 cartons of ice cream and then put it back. Yay.

Anyhow... here's the list:

- coffee w/ cream & sugar
- von's turkey sandwich with cheese & olive spread
- cottage cheese w/ grapes
- a bite of chicken
- 2 1/2 graham crackers
- a biscotti
- homemade veggie chili
- water & juice mix

Looking back -- just got to say NO to biscottis ... but 2 1/2 graham crackers and cottage cheese are much better than chips, coke zero, and candy

anyhow... Wednesday gonna start the day with a protein shake & just skip  to "soft proteins" Let's pretend like I liquid dieted for two days. Each Monday I can try to beat the previous Monday - LOL

Part Two:

I got a Facebook message from an old schoolmate who did a master class with Kiri Te Kanawe (wow I know!) and he said that her voice and overall presence reminded him of me... I felt so strange.. like I had given up on that part of my life. That I'd sacrificed that for the life I have now. Believe me, I'm pretty happy (we all want to  be a bit thinner and a bit richer but...) overall, I'd doing good. But I think I want to do more. Actually, I NEED to do more.

And I think this will help me greatly with my weight loss. I am going to start singing again. I told myself that I was going to give a recital this fall (which has already arrived) - but I think I'm going to give a recital this winter. Hopefully I can plan it when my in-laws are in  town.

So here are the goals I need to meet (which I can do while I still have all the kids with me)

1. Pick out music
2. IPA and translate foreign languages -  I can even fax my stuff to marci to make sure i did it right.
3. buy a piano.


Anyhow.... the recital is on.

5 arias and then some songs. Excited. More to come. Getting to work now!

I found the 5 day pouch test last night and decided to try it. Well it's hard to stay away from solid foods. I manages until three - when I ate some fruit snacks. I shared them with my son & niece, but still... the gates had opened. One coke zero, some fritos, and 2 chicken nuggets later -- i felt like a fat failure. Doesn't help that I missed exercise (too busy watching the Office reruns with my sister). Anyhow... I got a biscotti with my coffee and had a bowl of chili with feta cheese - oh and a cup of cheerios. On the plus side, I drank a protein shake and took my vitamin. LOL. There's always got to be a bright side, right?

Anyhow... food recap:

- coffee with milk
- protein shake
- 1 orange slice
- fruit snacks (SNACK ALERT)
- coke zero & fritos & a twix bar (SNACK ALERT - JUST SAY NO!)
- chicken nuggets, tater tots, and green beans (no so bad)
- a biscotti (I actually felt guilty buying this!)
- a cup of cheerios (Had given in... also felt guilty)
- a cup of chili w/ feta cheese (this made me feel better after I had a mental breakdown)

Ugh... as evidence.. I totally use food to "medicate" my depression. All would have been different, if I had left my sisters' and given the boys their naps, cleaned the house, had a second protein drink, and exercised. OH WELL.

Tomorrow, I try again. =) Wish me courage and a strong spirit!

... and I don't want to be yelled at (well more like slightly lectured) - even though I had just had a baby 4 weeks prior. Anyhow.... I have realized that I am doing good with the exercise (about 4-5 times a week) but because of my snacking, I am maintaining at 165 - 5 pounds above my "pre-Mylo" weight and 17 pounds above my "pre-Jaxon" weight. So, I'm changing my eating habits -- quitting snacks -- and losing this last 17 pounds.

Food intake will be: protein shake, 2 fruits, unlimited veggies, lunch, and dinner. I figure if i give myself UNLIMITED veggies then I won't feel restricted like a diet and i'll probably eat a few more veggies and also, who gains wait from "pigging out" on veggies. No fast foods, no eating out (also looking to save $$$) and eventually limited processed foods as I learn to cook at home more. I'm not counting calories because if I'm eating healthy, then calories won't be a problem.

SUNDAY 8/23:
- protein shake
- medium peach
- 1 cup honey cashews (SNACK FOOD ALERT)
- 1 hotdog with feta cheese, slice of bread, and mustard
- 1/4 cup noodles with pesto (TOO MUCH FOOD!
- grapes
- meatloaf burgers with onion and slice of bread
- cup of cheerios (SNACK FOOD ALERT)

Even though I have two snack foods, I didnt do so bad. Tomorrow I am going to replace the cashews and cheerios with veggies and the pasta with cottage cheese. Not to bad overall. Even if i just ate like this every day, I'd drop some poundage.

-water: 1 cup am, 3 cups workout, 2 cups afternoon, coffee with milk & sugar, starbucks coffee with cream (Sa&Su only!)

Free time has been rare these days. I have a 22 month old and a 7 month old who is now on the move, but I always make time - for one hour 5 days a week, to go to the gym. I LOVE the YMCA. They watch your kids for you (for free) from ages 3 months and up and they also offer baby friendly classes - so you can take your baby with you if you want / need to work out before then.

I met with my surgeon after Mylo was born (end of January) and I was 173lbs -- significantly higher than the 148lbs I weighed in while pregnant with Jaxon. 

I am happy to say that I kicked 13 of those pounds in the butt from working out. I also find that working out helps me when I get depressed (and generally turn to food). I went on a cookie / fast food binge. But I have noticed that I eat when I am depressed or tired. So I try to buy good but healthy things so I don't get crap. Fast food is the easiest thing to get when you have a car full of babies, but I found that I really don't want it and I guess it was just a phase. It's super easy to talk myself out of driving through the mcdonalds. I mean, I can only eat 1/2 of a happy meal and I don't really feel like paying $5 for a half of a crappy happy meal when I don't really want it and I can make chicken nuggets at home. And I don't really like regular soda (or even regular juice) -- it's too syrupy! But sweets & cookies are my BAIN OF EXISTENCE. But its too much work to drag both kids to the Vons or Walmart to buy a pack of cookies and once it's night time I can't go because my husband wouldn't let me eat cookies (THANK GOD FOR HIS SUPPORT!) so, sometimes I'll just make a protein shake with chocolate and it's like a milkshake or eat some frozen berries and that will satisfy my night time sweet tooth.

Anyhow... as always, I have to work on my diet. It's constant. I have to make choices about what kind of "kid food" to have in the house. Animal crackers are fine but no fruit snacks or granola bars!!  I really want to get into this one protein shake 2 meals kind of lifestyle again (had to retrain pre-pregnancy eating habits) . Also, I have to stop drinking so much coffee & coke zero. They just are a crutch to help with my depression days and I like to work on that without food or drugs. My water & vitamins are always trouble for me -- I know I'm going to get yelled at for that when I get my blood work results back.

Anyhow..... my ultimate goal is to be down to 145lbs. I know some people thought I was too thin, but I felt great and LOVED the way my clothes fit on me and I want that again. But I'll settle for another 5 pounds lost before I see my surgeon again.  

Also, looking into plastic surgery. I dont think I need lifts everywhere -- my inner thighs are pretty saggy and I have saddle bags on my thighs (thanks kids LOL) but I HATE the  flap of skin around my stomach. My husband doesn't approve (of course) but I'd love for it to be gone. Just going to start looking into it. 5K+ is a lot of money to shell out.... but who knows. Maybe it will "dry up" on it's own.

Jessie

I'm having another boy!  It's very exciting and I am preparing my body for the birth and everything that comes after it. I was not as sick as I was with Jaxon, but I was so lethargic and nauseous that I didn't do anything for a long time, which upset my sciatic nerve. I realized that I have to move around every day or the pain will come back -- horror!

My new plan consist of getting back into old habits and being consistent. I'm starting my getting my vitamins every day (which will help with my low energy) and getting plenty of water. I'm working on six glasses of water, plus I like to drink coffee and soda water with grape juice, so I get one of those a day too -- much better than a soda!!

I'm going to walking with Jaxon for 30 minutes every day -- and to reward myself I either get a coffee (mmmm Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back!) or a cold bottle water (mmm.... what a delightful waste of money). And I am going to eat 5 fruits and vegetables, 3 servings of protein, and oatmeal every other day.

It's nothing drastic, and so hopefully it's something I can stick too. I was very lucky with Jaxon because I went from 148lbs to 138lbs to 183lbs and then 176lbs when I gave birth. I dropped down to 153lbs immediately and then about 3 months later I started to gain the weight back. I got stuck at 156-158lbs and it's so horrible because when you are a smaller size -- you will gain a size just by gaining a couple of pounds. What I don't want to happen is that this time I won't be able to lose the weight as quickly and I have a wedding to attend 4 months after the baby and I want to look good for it and show off this body I worked so hard for (most of the time!). And I will be healthier for baby Milo and for me and even for Jaxon because I'll have enough energy to take care of 2 baby boys.

Anyhow... I love using fit day because I can get specific and track exactlywhat I ate, or if I'm crunched for time, I can just write down what I ate in my journal. Anyhow... Monday 9/8 is the first day of the rest of my life and I'm back on track. We'll see how things go, but I'm gonna hope for the best.

Jessie

It's been two years, three months, and five days since my life was given a new start! I've lost over 130 pounds (almost HALF of my previous body weight), found the man of my dreams (and married him!) and had the most perfect baby boy in the world (according to me!)
The first three months of pregnancy were hard and I lost 20 pounds very quickly. Suddenly it was being hinted at that I had an eating disorder. It got so bad that the school Dean of Students sent me an email asking about my health. I was so upset that no one sent me an email when I was morbidly obese -- where were the concerns about my health then???
But I digress... I slowly gained weight (thanks to salted potato chips and lemonade) and by the time I left work, I was at a nervous 183 lbs. Luckily, being at home was good for me. I dropped down to 173 lbs before giving birth and LUCKILY the rest of the weight came off within 6 weeks. I wanted to be the 148lbs I was before I got pregnant. But my eating habits had changed. No longer were pizza and candy forbidden words. My weight now hovers around 154 - 158lbs but I know that I lost a lot of muscle when I drastically lost weight. I gained back fat and not muscle. So I am looking to drop about 15-20 pounds of fat, but putting on muscle so I can be a HEALTHY 145 lbs.

Starting today I have given up all junk food sweets. That means no See's Candy, no McDonald's cookies or cones, no churros, or ice cream bars. Jeeze, no wonder I can't loose any weight!!! I'm also trying to amp my water intake back up to 8 glasses a day. Hopefully by next week I'll be on my way to a healthy lifestyle!
- Jessie

Again, it's been over a month since I've been here. I think in desperate times I need to come here and remember what this is all about. The problem I am having is that I am thinner and happier and I think I am "normal." That I can eat and drink like normal people -- or how I used to. But the truth is (let me take my vitamins now, before I forget!) Okay... the truth is that I am not normal any more. I was explaining to my new fiance -- yes, I am engaged! -- about vitamins and how I am missing part of my intestine. He couldn't believe it. I am not normal. And I don't think I'm back to normal eating, but today I had a cookie. Or I have been addicted to Starbucks. I get it non-fat, and I only drink 8 ounces, but still... it's a waste of money and calories. I thought I could do this alone, but there is just something about coming here and being with people of your own kind, who know what you are going through. It's not your know-it-all friend or a scared parent. So I have joined a support group. I just need something that will keep me on monthly track. People I can talk to about why I can't seem to drink enough water or vitamins that won't upset my stomach. This is a tool and it's life and long term. I am too young to gain it back. I WILL NOT gain it back! I will use this tool to get fit and stay healthy. It was terrible being fat. I was in so much pain, physically and emotionally. I became a shell of who I really was. I was hiding behind the fat. I don't want to hide. I also think I need to see a psychiatrists because I need to deal with WHY I eat and adjust my life so that I can be alone with food and not want to consume it. Surgery is just a tool. And maintaining is the hardest part. The hardest part.
- Jessie

Wow... I haven't been on here in almost 2 months! Well, it's actually 2:20am on the 15th so it's been 2 months exactly. Well I'm down to 160. My mom says that my face looks gaunt. It was kind of scary because I had lines on my face... like I am losing my age. I turned 28. Wow... it's been over a year since I started my Weight Loss Journey. People ask me how I feel all of the time. I feel so great. I am so happy. I mean, there are still days that I feel fat. I "puddle" in the middle. There is lots of skin on my arms and my thighs and especially my stomach. Also my boobs have shrunk into nothing. It's so sad. I miss them, but then it's kind of hot to be able to wear a plunging neckline without choking in cleavage. I am still working on getting enough water. My skin really suffers if I don't get enough. I know that this will always be a struggle.. for the rest of my life. But I don't want to go back. I will never go back again!!
- Jessie

So I realized that I don't know how "official" my weight loss chart is because I have been using three different scales. But I went from 183 to 176 on my friends scale so that is 7 lbs. That's pretty darn good.

Anyways, I am stoked because I have a solid exercise routine. I am running during my lunch break. Now it's only 30 minutes but it's better than nothing ... which is what I was doing with an occasional walk with my friend now and then. So today I DID NOT want to run, but I made myself go outside just to walk and I ended up running anyway. I was very proud of myself. And I had a chicken salad instead of a chicken quesidilla. So yay me. And I have realized that after lunch I hace gotten the munchies, so I am going to bring a protein bar because they're sweet enough to be edible, but not good enough that you will just snack on. So if I am truely hungry, then I will eat it. Vitamins and protein are good... water is driving my crazy. I just don't want to drink it and I have no idea why. But I am going to buy a pair of jeans for school and take in all of my clothes and then hope people get me Ross Gift Certificates for my birthday. Let's get down to a solid size 12!!! Throw the 14 away forever!
- Jessie