jliza001

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Today I had my drain removed! Last night I thought I saw puss and it began to hurt so I called the surgeon's office who had me see Dr. Zorn. NO infection to be found (yet)! Sometimes the drain gets clogged and my inner juices began seeping from the incision. I was nervous that it would hurt from stories that I have read, but it didn't hurt much at all... It actually felt REALLY weird; I could feel it around my belly button! Anyhow he gave me the go-ahead to move to stage 4 (soft protein foods like yogurt, eggs, and refried beans) on Saturday. I tried refried beans last night and also some pickle and a green olive the day before. I think the beans made me go to the bathroom, but I am not sure. I was fine eating the pickle and olive.
I still haven't been able to drink one full scoop of protein drink but at least I am drinking something. I'm using the stuff from Cost-co and it's pretty good. It smells a little too "vanilla-y" but other than that I like it.
Oh! And I've lost a total of 16 pounds! Down to 265 from 281 (the day of surgery). I just can't believe it. I did Taebo for 3 weeks (4X a week) and I only lost 9 lbs (which isn't bad but!!!!) WOW!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I'm on the Losing Side!!!
I haven't posted in a while. I just got so busy with finals and work and then the surgery that today is the first time that I have a little free time :) Well I quit work due to the fact that the Friday before my surgery I was robbed at gun point. I wasn't injured and I actually got all my stuff back. The guy had asked me for a dollar and I told him no (I didn't know if I actually had any money because my BF had taken the $20 I was saving to go see Nutcracker to buy some dinner and I told him 'PUT MY CHANGE BACK' And thank the lord in heaven that he DIDN'T!). The guy ran after me and asked me again - this time with a gun. I gave him all of my stuff and he hopped in a car and took off. I ran towards work thinking what was I going to do without my keys when I ran into them again!!! I just froze, and thought I was going to be executed. They called out to me and threw all my stuff into the street because (thanks to by BF) I only had $.26!! (Which they "kindly" left in my wallet.) I realized that if I had gotten shot or just if I hadn't run into them again -- because they turned down a street I normally don't walk down, but happened to have a group of security guards chatting -- I wouldn't have been able to 1) be writing this today and 2) have my surgery... they didn't have my money... but we all know that we often carry more important things in our wallets and handbags than cash. Especially me. I didn't even have my credit cards with me.

Anyhow... I left for San Diego Monday and got in OK. Free drinks on the plane because it was delayed for so long! Of course that limited where we could go for my last meal. We ended up having KFC. Not what I wanted when I could have had an Italian feast and Buca di Beppo or a Lemon Chicken Salad with breadsticks at Oscars.

Tuesday I had to go on an all liquid diet which was hard at first because I was so HUNGRY! I had to take HORRIBLE milk of magnesia which now I associate with chicken broth, Popsicles, and lime jello and can not really eat. At pre-op the nurses were very nice. I was all by myself as I believe that having this surgery around the holidays is not too popular due to giving up Christmas dinner or (worse) complications from the surgery. At Scripps Mercy they had extra large chairs and desks with wheels so you felt really comfortable getting in and out. I filled out a bunch of paperwork, was weighed -- down to 281.5 from 283 at my consultation. They made you feel really great about losing any weight, even that small of an amount. They also took my Before picture. I then met with the dietitian. I have done lots of reading about Everything so I didn't have too many questions. Just what exactly was a clear liquid. Did it have to be sugar-free or just no sugar-added? etc... They had a video to explain what would happen the day of surgery. I had to watch a video explaining what would happen the next day during surgery. Then I got a breathing apparatus and had to practice on that. I was measured for a stomach binder. Then I waited for the anesthesiologist and he told me what was going to happen. I was worried because I had read that the tubes may cause vocal chord injury and me being a singer (and having a gig on the 14th of January) --- EEPS! He said to let my anesthesiologist know and they would try to be extra gentle. It only took 3 hours. I still wasn't too nervous but my mom was. They had a program at Scripps called the VSP (very special person) program where they will allow one person to stay with you throughout your stay in the hospital, they are trained on how to help you throughout the night, and get a comfy recliner to sleep in and also get free parking. So I designated my mom and she stayed with me the entire time.

Wednesday we got to the hospital at nine, changed into there VERY large and comfortable gowns, and waited until 11 -- when they would take me down to the pre-surgery room. The nurse wrote her initials on my stomach (which are still there) and took my things. At 11, they wheeled me down. My mom was still with me. They took my stats and put some foot pumps on my feet to help prevent blood clots. Sometimes they were nice and relaxing but they were also VERY annoying when I needed to use the bathroom and was TRAPPED in the bed. The nurse was very nice but she missed my vein with the IV and later the second one slipped out of my vein. My mom and I took a lot of photos, she called my BF and let him know that I almost ready for surgery and then they came and took me. My mom was very upset that she couldn't go in the surgery room but had to wait outside. One of the OR nurses had the surgery done 6 years ago with my same doctor and said he was great. My anesthesiologist was there singing opera (LOL) and spirits were up. It was VERY cold but they put warm blankets on me. A nurse asked me if I was okay because I was all smiled and very giggly for some reason. Then Dr. Tanaka came over and said "Jessica, are you ready to do this?" I said "Yes!" and that was the last thing I could remember.

My mom said the surgery took like 3 hours. Dr. Tanaka had taken her aside afterwards and told her everything had went very well. I remember waking up in the recovery room yelling about the oxygen mask on my face and that I couldn't breath. Then I was in my room with my mom and my sister with tubes in my nose. The first night I was very groggy. I had the best nurses!!!!!! Plus my mom was there to help me. Cathoders SUCK and I asked to have mine removed ASAP. My dad came to visit and everyone was shocked to see him give me a kiss on the forehead. Of course I was in anesthesia land so I didn't really know. LOL. I was at the hospital for 3 days and three nights, getting out on Saturday 12/24. Dr. Tanaka came and visited me on Thursday and said he was going out of town but Dr. Rumsey would come and visit me. The gas pain and the nausea was worse than any of the incisional pain. But they said it would just have to seep out. Coughing was good because there was some mucus in my lungs. I had to walk that night, which was okay. Walking actually made me feel much better because my pain was due to gas and the pump medicine I had didn't do much to help my gas. They did give me stuff for nausea after I groaned and moaned about it like 8 billion times.

The hospital stay was very enjoyable... after a while it does suck to be trapped to foot pumps and IV tubes and drainage tubes, etc... I felt like a cyborg. I am home now and haven't taken any pain medication. The place where my IV cam out probably hurts the most because I didn't mention anything to the nurse. I hate IVs... I make sure I drink plenty of water every day because I am not going back to get a dang IV stuck in me. I still have a drain stuck out of me and can't wait to get that removed. My nephew is scared of it I think. LOL No kids jumping on Aunt Jessie!

Anyhow, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent me emails. It really made me feel great!!! I have already lost 8.8 lbs and hope to be down more in the weeks to come. I haven't been hungry yet - which is a good thing around this time of year. But I did have a dream about eating meat. Weird. And with that I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

- Jessie

Wow.... 12 Days till I am on the losing side. I just got all my pre-op paperwork in the mail today. I am so excited. I'm afraid because I am not nervous... not yet anyway. I just keep thinking of how I'm gonna do it right on the other side and I will have this fabulous tool to help me. I read some article about a woman who got gastric bypass surgery thinking they would staple her stomach shut and >zip< she would be thin forever like a miracle. Then when she started back to her old lifestyle the weight she had lost returned and the doctors told her that she would need to diet and exercise and she got all mad saying" well, I've heard that before!" and then said not to have surgery. But I think she missed the point. Nothing can make you just poof skinny forever. the only way to lose weight to put out more calories than your taking in. Except with surgery you get the added benefits of only being able to eat a certain amount of certain foods that won't make you sick (and the whole malabsorbtion thing to keep your morale about losing weight up) but they are just tools to change your eating lifestyle. Because most likely I will not be able to just eat a tablespoon of cottage cheese and call it lunch forever. But hopefully one to two years will be long enough to change my life to a healthier way. My friend was able to do this (Hell I did it in College!) But she has managed to keep the weight off. Sometimes I thinks she starves herself at home... she's very "Victorian-era Protestant" like that. But I have decided that I am changing and hopefully the little world I inhabit will be able to grow and change with me but I have decided that I am not doing this for naught and if other things (bad "old -fat things) don't want to or can't change then I will just have to say adieu.... Aaahhh I have spent too much time daydreaming on the bus. Ok, signing off for tonight.
- Jessie

Tries to do a million cartwheels but falls down after just one, laughing with happiness!!
So my date is scheduled for three weeks: 12/21/05. This is like the BEST thing that could happen! 1) I get to go home and be with my family for Christmas!! 2) I have a good possibility of being healed enough to sing in Monterey on the 14th or the 22nd 3) I should definitely be able to compete in the Concerto Competition - just got to memorize that music! I was really bummed about work -- but I realized last night that I hate my job. I am too fat, I am too old and I hate cleaning and having to be "STARBUCKS" I like the people but I just don't feel like I really belong there. Also, I don't know how good it will be for me to be around coffee and pastries after my surgery. I don't know how good it is to be around it now, lol... I have become addicted to caffeine in the last few months.

So I have to be in San Diego on the 20th for pre-op. They are sending me a list of prescriptions I'll need to fill. I will also have to go on a clear liquid diet the day before surgery and drink Milk of Magnesia to clean myself out. Then the 21st at noon I go into surgery. OMG!!!

Ok .... whew.... so I have to come clean. I have been drinking soda up until yesterday. Then I realized that I ate KFC and had a soda with my meal. But As of today I have exactly 3 weeks before I go under the knife and I have to take it seriously. I think by stopping drinking soda and eating crap I will drop a few pounds, but I am nervous and since it has been raining here I have stopped walking so I am going to do some taebo just in case. I don't want to be canceled for something stupid like gaining weight! Besides, I think my taebo goals are pretty reasonable. The hardest part is putting it in the machine!

I also need to look for a new job... something laid back and less stressful... perhaps something will come up with singing. That would be the best. Anyhow I should get going. TTYL

Whew... yay ^^; I don't know how it happened so fast! It was just yesterday that I was wondering how long it would take. OMG I can't believe it. I talked with my patient counselor today and I told her my availability -- that I could come in as early as 12/16 to 1/17 (during my break) and she's like we'll have no problem getting you in. I think my surgery date will be 12/19 WOW!!! Do you know what that means?? I should be healthy enough to sing on the 1/14th or 1/22nd for my teacher and participate in the concerto competition!!!! The only bad part is I wasn't planning of taking off of work until after the holidays... but OH WELL!! Oh I am on cloud NINE!!!!! I should get my surgery date by the end of the week and I will make all of my arrangements then like plane and stuff. Wow --- I am just... I can't believe I got approved. The whole freaking process took less than a month from my consultation to getting approved. It took longer to get my lab results >.<;; WOOOPPPTTTTYYDOOOO!

OK I am going to celebrate by cleaning the bathroom! Merry Christmas to ME!!!!

I should check my answering machine more often. I am guessing that on the day before Thanksgiving PBSMG called to say that they have finished putting my file together and have sent it off to the insurance company! GULP! I called them on Friday but of course they were closed. I am going to give them a call tomorrow morning before class. But I hope they have sent everything off! Then more waiting. I want to read about how long others have waited to get approved from Blue Cross of CA. My mom is being a pessimist (which is good) and reminding me to have a plan B in place incase I don't get approved. I am just trying to look on the bright side. If I get EXTREMELY lucky I could have the surgery this year. I would have to take off of work, but that would be SOOO swell! I am worried about getting in January though... I was invited to sing in Monterey mid January and I don't want to pass up the opportunity. Also the concerto competition is February 5th and I don't want to miss it. I am also a little nervous that someone will sing what I want to perform and then win if I don't participate. I would have to hold off on the surgery until March. But that makes more sense time wise with approvals and everything. But then I would have to miss school and would be out of a lot of singing. March seems much more practical. But then the greedy part of me is like ... "I WANT IT NOW!" LOL I have a little Veruca Salt inside of me. My dad feels the same way, but he just wants me to be thin. I want to talk with my voice teacher, but I am nervous. I would already have to be approved... I don't think I could handle the negative.... and then if people complemented me on my weight loss and he was around.. would I have to admit and say "Oh I had WLS" or could I just say... "I eat nothing!" which would be true too.... along with amping up the exercise. Ah well... tomorrow I will call. One day at a time. One day at a time.

Ciao!

Well between today and the last time I wrote, PBSMG got my lab results, scheduled a consultation on 11/04 with Dr. Tanaka, a psychiatrist, and an internist. I flew down to San Diego the night before and had my appointments the next day. I totally thought the consultation with the surgeon would be like a Q&A type of thing -- info session so I brought my mom and dad along to help me ask questions in case there was something I hadn't thought of. Well after announcing my weight to my parents (My dad know knows the awful truth. I guess I hide my weight well.) I had to strip down. My dad waited in the lobby while my mom stayed. Dr. Tanaka came in, fired a bunch of questions at me poked my ankles and my stomach and told me he could do it laproscopically. There was a greater chance of leakage however. Then he told me I needed to start drinking protein drink in replace of one meal a day, vitamin C, a multi vitamin, and increase my walking. I thought the walking was funny because he asked how long it takes for me to get out of breath and I was like... well, depending on the speed I walk and the incline, I could walk forever and never get out of breath. But if I run up a flight of stairs I will be panting. So I have to walk more. I already walk over a mile a day so I am just going to try to walk faster and start walking up more hills instead of walking around them. Then he told me the risks and asked if I had any questions. Since I'm a singer my mom asked if my voice would be affected - he said it shouldn't be. Then he asked where I was from (SF) and told me that he used to live in SF a time ago. My mom and I really liked him. He was straight to business but not rude or mean or anything. Very professional.

Next was the psychiatric evaluation. We talked for a while about the surgery, she asked me questions of when was the turning point, how was my childhood, etc... She said I was fine mentally to handle the surgery and told me to keep going to the bariatric support groups because that really helps. Then she said that I should look into therapy for my self-esteem issues because having the surgery won't get rid of them all. So I think I am going to look into that as well as she said it could help me in my career.

My mom and I had lots of time between the psych and the internist so we went on a few errands and came back to see the internist. The nurse put electrodes all over me got an EKG, then the Dr came in and poked at me, asked me some questions from my Medical History form. Told me that I have no gallstones, that I have desirable cholesterol. (yay, because it was borderline high before), but that I had a small AV delay in my heart but that it was normal for my age. So I was cleared by him.

So all three doctors have cleared me. I am now waiting for them to write up their letters, get the insurance packet ready and send them to Blue Cross of CA. It says it can take up to 21 working days but hopefully it will be quicker than that. It was less than 2 weeks to schedule my Fridays-Only consolations so perhaps I will get lucky again.

I think it sort of hit me while I was at the internist's office while getting my EKG taken that they would be cutting me open and rearranging my viscera. But the panic hasn't hit me yet. I have started to cut out caffeine. I said goodbye to carbonation and to pizza. I am slowly weaning myself off of coffee drinks at work and hope to be drinking decaf, non-fat sugar free soon. I am going to cost-co to buy some vitamin C, multivitamin, and protein. I hope I can find a protein that isn't chalky. Anyhoo... till I find out more!
-Jessie

ARRRGGHH!! I am very upset. I had called Pacific Bariatric yesterday and found that they hadn't received my labs or my gallbladder ultrasound. So today I called St. Francis Memorial where I had my ultrasound done and they had mailed the results. I asked if they could fax them and they did and it was as easy as pie. I was confused about my blood work because I had received my results via mail and they had said everything was normal. So I called today and no one could tell me anything. So I decided just to send my own results copy. After going to three different fax places, I had it sent. I came home and called Pacific Bariatric. The ultrasound was OK but they needed the actual results of my blood work, not just something saying everything was normal. So I called the UCSF lab again to talk with the supervisor but she was gone and no one knew anything so they transferred me to another place but they couldn't do anything without Pacific Bariatric signing a consent form but I was like - he requested the labs!!! So then I talked to another supervisor who couldn't do anything because he was at UCSF Parnassus not UCSF Mt. Zion but he faxed something (I am hoping my lab results) to Pacific Bariatric and sent me back to the woman I first spoke to. She was looking up my stuff and mentioned the date "10-13" and I was like... well actually I went in on the 6th of October, but there was a problem or mishap with my blood so I had to go back in and have more drawn and the tech drawing my blood didn't have both request forms. So she did some research and found that the lab never sent Pacific Bariatric's blood work request form in!!!!!!! So I have to call back tomorrow and talk to the supervisor there to find out what is going on!! I am so upset. I am trying to squeeze this all in and I have rehearsals up the wazoo plus work, plus school and I would really like to have my surgery performed before I go back to school on Jan 17th!! Anyhow... wish me luck getting all this done tomorrow. Goodnight!

Gallbladder Ultrasounds HURT! I think the tech was getting back at me for being late! But MUNI decided that it needed to make everyone wait for 25 minutes before sending three cars all at once. So while I got my own seat, I was 10 minutes late for my appointment and you're supposed to be 15 early... but anyhow it is all done! Yet! Now I just have to go and give the laboratory some more blood. The surgeon's office should have my lab work by next Wednesday. I hope to have my consultation scheduled early November. I have realized that there is no probable way that I will be having my surgery this year :( but I hope to have it before 9th of January so I don't have to miss school. Gotta keep my fingers crossed!!

- Jessie

Wow! I have been SOOO busy with work and school and trying to have everything memorized!! Well last Thursday (10/6) I finally spoke with my Patient Counselor at Pacific Bariatric and she can't make an appointment for my consultation until I have my labs and ultra-sounds done. >.<;; I left that day to get my blood taken and made an appointment for my ultrasound. Then the lab called me and said they lost some of my blood so I have to go back... I have a huge black bruise from the first time they took blood :( Then I found that I have a conflict with my ultrasound so I had to reschedule it for a week later. THEN hehee I realized the beauty of PPOs and called every hospital my insurance covered until I found an appointment for this Thursday like 3 blocks from my house. Yay ^^; now... I just have to figure out what I am going to do about my music history review exam. Maybe he will let me take it earlier. Then I can stop and get my blood drawn and have my ultra sound and then go back to school. (or just play hooky and do laundry lol). But things are going good today. My boyfriend and I finally got our settlement checks from our old job (just in the knick of time too) and he started his new security job that is paying WAY better and has better hours than his last job.

Wow... I just looked at my Pre-op list and I only have to do 4 more things before I get my surgery date! Of course there is a lot of waiting involved. I am praying that PBSMG will get my labs & ultrasound by next Wednesday (10/19) so I can call and make an appointment. I will cross my fingers for a date before November but I HIGHLY doubt that is going to happen... And I kind of don't want to miss Halloween in the Castro. My BF and I are going as the Archangel Michael & Satan. I'm pretty excited. I usually can't get my BF to dress up but I told him its really just wings and a fiery sword. No halo or anything. Teehee.. Well, I had better get to studying. Bye for now!