ktkaz
Monday, July 12th
Jul 12, 2010
So things have really not been going well for me this past month! I mean, I've still lost a few pounds - not too sure how many though & you'd think it would be something that I would know off the top of my head - but no..... So my problem is learning how to cope with those things that would have otherwise drove me right back into my old habits.And I'm not saying that I don't feel like I've already started to slip back into my old habits - because I know that I have (kinda)... last Thursday night I got home and ate cheese & crackers for a snack when I wasn't really hungry but wanted something when I knew that I should probably just drink something instead.... it didn't help that my 15 y/o cat was very sick and I knew in my heart that I was going to have to put him down.
But geez, I kinda feel like I'm out of control & that I'm done losing weight - though I know that's crazy because I haven't even hit the three month mark, but I don't know..... it's really kinda weird. I guess I'm just less gung-ho about it than I used to be and I really kinda feel like if I had lost more more quickly that I would have retained the urge to continue on this path - not that I've decided not to do it at all, but it's just different now.
I don't know, maybe I'm in another funk because I've lost two very dear people to me in the last month, but this morning I didn't even feel like getting up to exercise even though I knew I really had to and I didn't have too much time before my husband left for work - but did I do it? NO. At this point, I'm hoping that when he gets home in a little over an hour that I'm going to get dressed and go out for the run that I know I need....
What the heck is wrong with me?
I was at a birthday party yesterday for my daughter's friend & I was good from the standpoint that I consumed only water while I was out & never really even thought or felt like I was being deprived for not getting the good stuff that was at the party, came home, made dinner - ate the protein and veggies.... then had another late snack that consisted of a glass of mile and a protein bar.... all in all I was around 900 calories for the day and way high on my protein intake, but still, I felt like I shouldn't be getting back into the habit of not feeling full with my meals and then eating between meals.
And the restriction? I almost feel like I don't have it anymore - maybe that's from the fact that I now know how much I can put on my plate, and then stop if I happen to have more than I can eat, but I'm never full anymore. Then again, I'm rarely hungry either..... it's just kinda weird because I barely eat & I know it.
And what's up with the hair loss? I feel like three months of this and there won't be a hair left on my scalp. I take my vitamins everyday and always get in my protein - so I'm told that I'm just going to have to wait it out..... just like everything else I suppose.
I am sooooooo inpatient!
