shawnwest
THIS IS MY STORY - WRITTEN ABOUT 15 DAYS PRE-OP
TO READ MORE ABOUT ME GO TO:
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/POOPEPANTS
I am sitting here with a million thoughts going through my mind. I have just received word that I will be getting the gastric bypass surgery on September 13, 2007. This is something that I have been trying for since October, 2002. For one reason or another, usually due to insurance vs. Doctor crap, I have been shuffled around and denied for five years. I was so devastated, I just assumed that it would probably never happen, as there was no way I had the money to pay for the surgery myself.
And now, once the authorization went through, it has been non stop doctor's appointments, counseling, cardic and pulmonary testing, nutrition counseling, and here I am. I am so excited. This is going to change my life forever.
I must say, that I am most blessed with a truly wonderful partner to help me through the road ahead. She has been such a source of strength for me the last five years, that I know, if not for her, I probably would have given up. So, right here, in front of God and everybody, I just want to say, "Thank you Lynn, for all that you have done for me, for the love and support you have bestowed upon me, for your patience while I was lost, and for loving me through the "dark times." I want to thank you, for not giving up on me, while I took time out from life to try and find myself, and I will never forget how hard you fought along side me to help get this surgery for me. The fact that you kept fighting, even when I gave up, shows me just how much you care. I love you baby, with all my heart.
Let me lay a little background for those who are not familiar with my life. I have battled obesity my entire life. I have been on one diet or another since before I was in the first grade. Nothing worked. I have always been the heaviest out of all my friends and family. This is not easy either. For anyone who has suffered any affliction, you will know what I am talking about when I say that people are cruel. My memories of growing up in a little town in Oregon are not good. My school years were mostly lonely and sad. Sure I had friends, but not many of those people are still in my life. But at least they were there for me when no one else was. I was ridiculed for my weight all through grade school and high school. Of course the things people would say to me only got worse as we all got older. I eventually could'nt take it anymore and dropped out of high school when I was 17. I was halfway through my senior year, and the boys in my grade were pretty mean and disrespectful to me, and I could'nt take it so I left. I have since grown out of really caring what others think of me, but I will never forgive, or forget a lot of the things that people in this workl have done to me.
I was probably 20 or 21 before I was tested for thyroid disorder. I found out that I have a very inactive thyroid gland and was put on medication for it. Although I still take the medication, it really does'nt help that much. So through the years I have gradually continued to put on weight. My weight has gotten so out of control that I have become disabled and have to use a wheelchair most days. I have not worked in five years, and I am slowly dying inside. To add insult to injury I have Oesteoarthritsis and Neouropathy in both feet, ankles and legs. Neouropathy is when your nerve endings have been damaged and the pain is horrible. I am on two different pain medication, one being Morphine, along with an two anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers. I am 34 years old and my life is at a massive standstill. I am DONE with this crap. I have made the decision to have surgery so that I can have my life back.
I have decided to keep an online journal so that my friends and family can watch as I go through all my transitions. Since I live in Texas now, I am lucky if I get to see anyone from home. This way they can see my progress and know that I am getting better everyday.
Well, I think that is a good start. I will be adding current pictures sometime this week. Once I have surgery, I will add new pictures every week along with a weight loss progress report.
Until next time, I send my love to the family...
Warm hugs,
Shawn
