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2-10-06

The nutritionist FINALLY called me back and I have an appt on Monday. I am hoping this can go quickly and I will get a date soon! Crossing my fingers...

2-3-06

OMG! Christy from Dr.Anthone's office called me this afternoon -- turns out the Medical Director from my ins company called and had a talk with Dr. Anthone. They want me to get a nutritionist consultation (Christy gave me the name & number for one) and once I get this, Dr. Anthone is feeling they will give me the green light to go ahead with the surgery. I called the nutritionist and left a message requesting an appt. Hopefully they have openings next week so we can move forward with this. I almost had a little panic attack - and I never thought I would have this but I had a little voice in my head saying, "Are you sure you want to do this?" I watched a show on Discovery Health the other day about a DS patient, and it scared the living daylights out of me. Granted it was mostly about the patient's plastic surgery, but it still scared the H## out of me! I am 39 years old, will my body be able to handle the nutrition side of this surgery in 30 years? I have to believe in it, and I trust Dr. Anthone and all the others that I have read about on OH here. I just can't help but be scared. I keep telling God that if he wants to give me a sign that this is not His will, I will listen. But so far, things have gone GREAT with all the tests and the ins company, so I can't help but believe this IS His will. I know I still have to get past this nutritionist appt and get a surgery date and get the surgery, so anything can happen, I guess. I am excited and scared at the same time. Gosh, at this point I am definitely going to need to get some anxiety meds the days before surgery - I am going to be a basketcase! LOL! Well, I will update when I know more. Pray for me, please!

1-28-06

Well another update with no insurance approval yet. I had my upper GI, abdominal ultrasound and vascular consult this last week. All seemed to go well. I will definitely be getting the Greenfield filter as the Vascular specialist thought it would be a good idea. I am fine with that - less to worry about from my perspective with my history of Pulmonary Embolism. I called my insurance company this week to check on the status of my pre-certification. Christy from Dr. Anthone's office said she faxed the info to them on Dec. 30th. Well, wouldn't you know that they have no record of receiving it. So I talked to Christy and she was going to re-fax on Jan 24th. So I called them Friday the 27th about something else and asked them about the fax, and they said they don't have any record of it and if it was faxed on the 24th they should have some notation of it somewhere. I just can't believe it is so difficult for them to get this. I am going to follow up on Tuesday the 31st and see. I am thinking about paying to have it fed-exed so we can have signature confirmation that they have received it.

On another note, my husband tried out for "The Biggest Loser" tv show today. He has such a fun, outgoing personality and he would be great on the show, but I am not sure he was even able to stand out enough to get noticed much by the producers. If he gets called back for another interview we will know by TUesday. It sure would be fun for him - he would be great on that show and he is so motivated and has such strong will power.

Well, I just keep trudging along and hoping that I will hear something soon. I am now on FIVE medications DAILY for all of my co-morbids. I just keep praying that I am going to be able to get this surgery so I can be healthier and less miserable. I have actually had dreams where I am thin - very weird. But it makes me that much more excited for my life to come and all the potential it holds. If you are reading this, please include me in your prayers!!!

1-20-06

Gosh, its been a month - hard to believe. Things have been progressing, but I haven't heard from the ins company yet. I will call them next week to see where they are with it. So far I have had my chest x-ray, my ekg, blood tests and the psych consult. Next week I have my upper GI, my abdominal ultrasound and my vascular consut. Then, I will be done with all my medical stuff and will just be waiting for the ins company. Funny thing, I went to the dr. on Thursday and my urine test showed that I have a bladder infection. I don't have any symptoms. The dr. put me on antibiotics, but I find that strange that I didn't have symptoms.

I also talked to my boss at work today about what I am doing and what is going to happen. I think she is afraid of me being out for awhile (I did tell her I would need to be out, but didn't tell her how long. But she was very supportive and excited for me. I didn't know what to expect.

Well, that is all. Hopefully my next update will be of me saying that Ins approved me and I have a date! :)

12-21-05

Well, a lot has happened since I last updated. I had my consult with Dr. Anthone, and I just love him! He is what everyone has been saying, and more. He is so warm and personal and has quite a sense of humor! He made me so confident in my choice and seemed to care about me personally, which is hard to come by in the medical field these days. Well, he said I am a good candidate, and he very patiently answered all my questions and we discussed my concerns. He set a goal for me of 190 (but he said I will look like I am 140). He said my ideal weight is 140. I would actually like to get closer to 160. I told him that after this surgery I would rather be a healthy overweight person than a unhealthy skinny person. He said I am the first person who has said that - I think he liked that I don't care about the vanity thing. I mean I'd like to look good, but that is not why I am doing this. I just want to be able to live my life more fully. He at first said he didn't think I needed a Greenfield filter, but then said that I should go see a ???(can't remember the speciality) for a second opinion about the filter to set me more at ease. My sister went with me and loved him, too. So, I have a list of things I have to get done. The good news is that I don't have to lose weight for surgery, but I have to maintain where I am. The bad news is that by the time we get approvals and all the testing done, it will probably be March or April for my surgery date. Oh well. He was going to dictate the letter and have it sent off to the insurance company right away and they said it might be 6-8 weeks before we hear back from the ins co. That is a long time, and I am hoping it will come sooner. My dh seems to be warming to the idea, and my sister is going to take time off work to help me when I come home from the hospital. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful, caring sister. She is truly cheering for me and is so excited for the change that I will have happen. It is nice to have someone who wants good things to happen for me. Not that my dh doesn't, but sometimes he can't see past his "skewed" viewpoint to see what I want or what is best for me. Anyway, I will post when I have more information, but I am waiting until next week and I will schedule all the tests I have to have and wait on the ins co.

12-09-05

OMG! I am soooo excited. I called this morning and got a consult appt with Dr. Anthone - it is Dec 20th! I went to the support group in Omaha last night. What a wonderful group of inspirational people. They went around the room and each person introduced themselves and said when they had surgery and how much they had lost. What an inspiration! I was in awe of these people. I met many people and this really reinforced my decision. I only wish my DH had been there. I was supposed to go to the doctor's seminar at 7pm, too, but he had to do an emergency surgery so it was canceled. I was disappointed, but I understood cause he was helping someone who needed him more than me at that moment. I am so psyched! Now, I need to work on DH cause I need him there at that appt with me. I started writing him a letter, cause it seems we can't communicate lately. That is sad - writing your husband a letter so you can talk to him. Oh well, hopefully it will work.

12-3-05

Had a good day today, until tonight when I brought up the subject of wls with my dh. I brought it up, and he rolled his eyes as I explained what I wanted to do and what I need from him in terms of support. I asked if I could count on him for support, and he said "No." I couldn't believe it. I won't get into the reasons why, but I decided that I will have to find support elsewhere. I am going to have to go forward with this and not count on any help from him. I talked to my sister, and she lives less than a mile from me, and she was VERY willing to help however I need her too. I know I can count on her. It makes me very sad that I can't count on my husband, the person who I spend the most time with in my life, and my "supposed" best friend in the world. Makes me very sad...

I am going to stay positive. I am going to start a list of "goals" that I want to accomplish once I get my wls...

1. I want to be able to cross my legs.

2. I want to be able to sit in a booth.

3. I want to be able to comfortably use seat belts in unfamiliar cars.

4. I want to be off 3 of the 4 meds I am on (atenolol for hbp, paxil and lipitor - I am also on synthroid, but I know that I might have to always take that).

5. I want to "bounce" out of bed in the morning - feeling well rested and eager to take on the day.

6. I want to sit comfortably on ONLY my seat on an airplane.

7. I want to have the energy to clean my WHOLE house in the same day.

8. I want to have the energy to make dinner AND clean up the kitchen afterwards all in one night.

9. I want to ride a rollercoaster or any other ride in an amusement park.

10. I want to waterski (or try to waterski) :)

11. I want I want to plant flowers/landscape and have a garden.

12. I want to finish all the home improvement projects I've started and not finished cause I never seem to have the energy.

13. I want to resume my independent demonstratorship for STAMPIN' Up! (rubber stamping, card making, scrapbooking and gift making).

14. I want to have the confidence to go back to school and get my degree.

15. I want to adopt a child - possibly from china!

16. I want to be able to lift my leg on its own (without pulling it up) to tie my shoes.

17. I want to be able to paint my toenails.

18. I want to (I will think of more and add to this list)...

12-2-05

Well, I called my ins co today. They said they will cover it only if it is medically necessary. I think I have enough co-morbids to qualify, but we'll have to wait and see. They cover it at 50%, but my max out of pocket is $3,000. And, there is no deductible. YEAH! I called and made an appt with my pcp for Monday to talk about it, check my meds and ask for a sleep study. I am moving ahead and I have to say very proud of myself for taking this step. I need to do it for ME! I want to LIVE!

12-1-05

Well I am signed up to go to Dr. Anthone's seminar on Dec 8th. I have been reading a lot of profiles and stories on this site, and I am more convinced everyday that this is the way to go and that DS is what I want to do. I need to call my ins to ask specifically about the DS. I pray that this will work - I just feel like I have no other hope and every day I feel worse and worse.

I've decided that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am miserable and feel awful all the time. I love my husband and my daughter, and I love my hobbies and my life, but I am able to do less each year that goes by. Sometimes it feels like I am just watching my life pass by me as I sit on the sidelines because I can't participate.

I am 39 years old, married for 13 years, and have been obese all my life. I had an unhappy childhood and I felt very unloved and unwanted. I remember the one person in the world who I thought loved me was my grandmother, and food was a huge part of her caring for me. She had good intentions, but food became a comfort for me. I have an 11 year old daughter that I want to be a better example for, and I want to be able to participate in life WITH her instead of watching from the sideline.

Here is a list of reasons why I want to have surgery:

1. I want a better quality of life

2. I want to be able to sit on the floor with everyone else, whereas now I don't because I don't want everyone to watch in horror as I try to get up.

3. I want to be able to walk for longer than 10 minutes at a time an not have to slow down to a snail's pace because I am exhausted.

4. I want to be able to go shopping and not have to leave after a half hour because my legs and back hurt and I am miserable.

5. I want to not feel so yucky all the time - now I could call in sick just about every day of the week. I literally wake up in pain and feel like I am 100 years old.

6. I want to be able to fit into chairs without worrying whether they will break or creak in pain due to my weight.

7. I want to be able to buy clothing easier - nothing fancy, just jeans and shirts and pants and coats and the like.

8. I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without being out of breath. Now, I avoid people so they can't tell I am out of breath - it is embarrasing.

9. I want to be able to ride my bike with my daughter and husband.

10. I want to be able to play sports with my daughter without having people look on as if they are embarrased for me.

11. I want to stop hiding in public - afraid I'll run into someone I went to highschool with or knew years ago when I was more normal looking.

12. I want to have the energy to clean my house instead of living in a pigstye (sp?).

13. I want to be able to have a garden and plant flowers - I can't now because it is just too much work.

14. I want to be able to wear a bathing suit when we take our boat out - I don't have to be model thin or anything, just not obese. I'd settle for overweight at this point.

15. I want to feel comfortable in the summer when the weather is hot and I have to wear shorts/tank tops to keep cool. I don't want to have to "overdress" just to cover up my fat.

16. I want to be able to have laundry done at my house more regularly - it seems we NEVER have clean clothes in my house because I just can't climb up and down the basement stairs to do the laundry.

17. I want to be able to wear my seat belt when I ride in other people's cars. Now, I am too embarrased to even try to wear them as if they don't fit, it will be a very uncomfortable moment.

18. Ditto for airplanes.

19. I don't want to be an embarrassment for my 11 year old daughter anymore. :(

20. I want to be able to run, skip and jump whenever I want.

21. I want to be able to dance like I used to be able to dance.

22. I want to have better personal hygiene (sorry if tmi).

23. I want to be able to live LONGER to watch my daughter grow up and see my grandchildren.

24. I want to be able to ride a rollercoaster if I want to, or ride a horse, or a motorcycle or anything that I won't even try now...

25. I want to stop being sick and tired all the time. I want to LIVE!

I just joined my husband's insurance and so I am waiting for it to kick in. I think it covers wls. I am definitely leaning towards the DS, as I'd rather lose a portion of my extra weight and keep it off forever, rather than lose a lot quickly and possibly gain it back and have stomach sensitivities forever. I have done quite a bit of reading and research, and I still have more to learn, but it definitely seems like there are much less complications with DS than with RNY - especially as I've been reading a lot of profiles on this site and it seems 99 percent of them are RNY. I am going to go to a local surgeon's informational seminar on December 10th. I am also going to go to my PCP and ask for the referral. I have hypertension, hypothyroidism, high cholesteral, PCOS/Insulin Resistance, painful knees/ankles. I definitely suspect sleep apnea as I've awakened several times "gasping" as if I wasn't breathing. I have chronic sinus problems. I have migraines and get yeast infections from my rolls of fat. I have very painful periods that my doctors said are most likely to due to the excess hormoes from being so overweight. I medical bills up the wazoo due to all of this as I am constantly being monitored for something. I have to change my life and I need help to do it.

My only concern is that I had a Pulmonary Embolism about four years ago that my physician thinks was brought on by just beginning birth control pills. I had never taken them before and started them due to heavy/painful periods. WIthin three months they found the PE. I was on blood thinners for six months and then given the all-clear. They tested for genetic related problems, none found. Will I be considered a high risk due to this? I hope not - one of the many, many questions I have stored up to ask during the seminar or doctor consult that I hope to have sometime soon. I will post more after I attend the surgeon's seminar on Dec 8.