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June 7, 2006

Okay, today I am two months from surgery and I am down 43 pounds. I am disappointed that I only lost like 2 pounds in the last week, but that is better than nothing. I am a couple pounds from being in the 250's - its probably been a decade since I've weighed in the 250's. The food thing is going better, although I think tomatoes are on the "do not eat list" for awhile. Supplements and water are going okay - I need to switch back to the non-petite form of the Calcium Citrate pills so I can make sure I get it all in each day. I hate big pills, but that is better only taking a couple of them rather than having to take 6 of the petite form. I am happy that people are noticing and I am more confident and feel great. Thank you, DS!

June 1, 2006

8 weeks out and I am down 41 pounds - I weighed 263 this morning. That is pretty good, but I really need to start exercising. I wish I had someone around to push me in a positive way - my husband mentions it but he says it in a way that makes me mad so I don't do it just to spite him. He can be such an a$$hole while he sits there weighing in the high 300's and eating not stop in front of the tv. I think he wants me to fail and so he makes me feel bad about myself. I always have gone by the old Dear Abby saying, "Are you better off with him, or without him?" Well, lately I've been wondering if it is starting to side on the "I'd be better off without him" side. Hmmmm.

May 25, 2006

Well, today I am 7 weeks out and I am down 37 pounds - I weigh 267. Pretty good considering I really am not getting much exercise in. I wish I was - but there is always something else more pressing it seems. Ugh! I can really feel the loss in my stomach and my hips. I hope I keep losing! I just can't wait until I get under 250 - I am so excited!

May 17, 2006

Ooops. I can't believe its been a month since I last updated. Well, I am now six weeks out of surgery and I had my six week check up with Dr. Anthone today. I am officially at 274 pounds (my home scale says 271) which means I've lost 30 pounds in six weeks. Dr. Anthone seemed pleased and said that is like 19% of my excess weight. I will see him again at three months, and he said he'd like me to be at about 260, which shouldn't be a problem. He has cleared me for any exercise I want to do. I started back to work on May 8th - blech! I really could have gotten used to not working! Dr. A checked my incision, which was great, and checked for hernias, which he didn't find. He wants me to keep trying to get 30 grams of protein a day and I am still on the prenatal vitamins and the calcium chews. I need to switch to the calcium citrate, though. And, I am still on the atenolol and levoxyl. He suggested I make an appointment with my PCP to see if she wants to take me off the atenolol or not. My blood pressure was 118/52. That is amazing considering what it was pre-op, with two bp medicines even! I think the highest it ever was was around 200/100. That was bad and was before I went on meds. Right before surgery it usually was around 180/80 or so. I haven't really been exercising. I have done more around the house and yard work that I didn't pre-op, but I haven't exercised or gone walking specifically just for exercise really. I need to start doing something. Walking is just so boring. Hopefully our pool will be up and running soon, and the weather will get warm enough to swim. We have a treadmill and an ab lounger, so I guess I need to get busy with them, right? Eating can still be a struggle at times, but today I was able to eat a 3" little king turkey sandwich (minus the top portion of the bread). That was exciting for me as it is really the first time I've been able to eat something normal without feeling sick afterwards. Anyway, I am now able to lift my foot off the floor to put my shoes on - that is a major achievement, believe me! I can really tell that I've lost most of my weight around my mid-section - my stomach sticks out much less. I am wearing a pair of 22/24 pants - I was about a 28/30 or larger pre-op. I really can't believe this is happening for me. I am so excited for the future and what it holds and the possibilities for me that I never thought were possible physically. Now I just need to get my rear exercising and I'll get there even quicker! Pray for me, please!

April 20, 2006

Well, I am two weeks out of surgery and I am feeling pretty good. Yesterday I weighed 285 (wow - I can't believe I am typing a "2" number), which is down 28 pounds from what I weighed when I was discharged from the hospital. That is amazing. Eating has been a chore, which I am told is normal this early out. I'd rather not eat at all. Last night before I went to bed I think I had my first hunger pain after surgery. So, I had a spoonful of peanut butter. MMMM, that was good. Decent protein, too. Speaking of protein, some days are good, others aren't. I know I am not getting in enough water, but I think I am getting in around 30-40 ounces a day. Yesterday I counted up my protein to be at 61 grams. That is good, however the day before I was probably only in the 20's. That is bad. I have been battling nauscia (sp?). The littlest thing will make me gag. So, I am trying to be careful and taking my anti-nauseau meds, but that doesn't always help. I saw something gross on tv and I was gagging for 5 minutes trying not to bring up the protein I was digesting. Anyway, I am getting a little exercise but trying not to overdo it. The steering wheel feels a little farther away (yeah!), I have more energy and I'm not out of breath or feeling bloated all the time. I hope the loss begins to show to others soon. My daughter's softball tournaments begin this weekend, so I will get a chance to be outside more and I'm excited to be in the sun. I am always so darned cold these days. Anyway, things are going well so far. Today I am having blood drawn for my 3-week follow up with Dr. Anthone. Hopefully I won't get scolded for lack of protein!?!?!? I'm trying, really I am! Well, I'll update more when I have more info!

April 13, 2006 ***I'VE BEEN SWITCHED***

Well, I'm on the other side. Things have been interesting, that's for sure. Here is a little recap of how my experience went...

Got to the hospital at about 5:45 am for the 7:45 am surgery. Got checked in and put into a room to get undressed, etc. They weighed me, shockingly I had gotten back down to 304 - exactly what my surgeon wanted me to weigh for surgery. I had been paranoid cause I had gained a few pounds after my appt with him, and he told me to maintain my weight and surgery could be canceled if I gained anything. I worked to try to drop the 8 pounds I had gained, and was close, but my bowel prep probably helped me get to 304. Anyway, the anesthesiologist (sp?) came in to give me my epidual. I was leaning over with the help of the nurse so they could insert the needle, and that is the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery. Amazing, I think. I'm glad it went that way, especially since I had been a little nervous about the whole thing. I came out in recovery and the first thought I had was "I made it - thank you, Lord!" I spent quite a long time in recovery as there weren't any beds in ICU available (standard for Dr. Anthone to put his patients in ICU for the first 24 hours). Finally, at about 4:30 pm Dr. Anthone gave permission for them to put me in a regular room with intensive monitoring as I seemed to be doing so well. That is very rare with Dr. Anthone, I am told. My family was a little pi**ed off as they weren't communicated to very well, so they told me afterwards. I did okay despite the tremendous throat pain I had from the NG tube. That was the worst of it, by far, for me. Yeah, the incision hurt whenever I tried to move in bed or get out of bed, but the epidural did it's job with flying colors! laying still in bed was virtually painless, excpet for the ng tube bothers. The nurses on the 6th Floor at Methodist are GREAT! I especially liked Stacy, Heather, Ali, Corey, and a few others - don't remember their names. Dr. Anthone took my NG tube out on Sat the 8th. And, he allowed me to begin clear liquids that day, too, even though I hadn't had my leak test. He said all indications were that I was fine, and on Sunday I had the leak test that proved it. He had thought I might go home on Mon the 10th, but I couldn't pass gas. So I ended up going home on Wed the 12th, as my bowels took a little longer to wake up after surgery. Overall, things went well. I really didn't have any nauseousness in the hospital. I am dealing with that now that I am home, though. Overall, it was much less painful that I had feared. Thursday night & Friday are pretty blurry to me, so I don't remember a whole lot from that timeframe. To all those pre-ops, the pain aspect isn't that bad (at least for Dr. A's patients due to the epidural) and I am so thankful to God, Dr. A and all the support from my friends, family and those here on the OH website. :)

April 2, 2006

WOW! It is April, and my surgery is only days away. I am doing much better than I was in my previous post. I am just excited now and ready to "get this party started!" ha ha Really, I know the first few days are going to be touchy, and I just want to get the show on the road so I can get the yucky stuff over with and be on my way to my new, healthier life. I am trying to get things ready, the house cleaned, and laundry all caught up before I go on Thursday. I am trying to get my household organized to run without me for a week or two. And, I am trying to write letters to my Dh and my daughter, just in case. That is very hard for me to do. How can I possibly write all I would want to say in one short letter? Impossible, really. So I will just do the best I can. I had breakfast with my friends from highschool this past Saturday. They are all supportive and happy for me. I told them, if the worst happens, they all have to step in to be a mother figure for my daughter, as I can't stand the thought of her not having a mother to help her. Of course, that made us all shed tears. But, it had to be said, and I feel better having said it. Anyway, I work Monday & Tuesday and then I am off Wed for the dreaded bowel prep. Yuck. I have to be at the hospital Thursday at 5:45 a.m. Yes, that is a.m. I have been trying to lose a few pounds before surgery, as I had gained 8 pounds from my consult date. Dr. Anthone had said that I absolutely cannot gain weight before my surgery. I did not eat any differently, I just think my weight fluctuates 5-10 pounds throughout the month. Hopefully I can be down a couple pounds at least. I sure hope he doesn't get mad and cancel my surgery. That would really suck. The nurse wanted me to try to drop a few pounds, but didn't seem overly alarmed or anything. Also, at my physical on Friday, they said my white blood cells were up (urine test) and so they were going to culture it to see if I may have a bladder infection or something. I hope not - cause that could cancel my surgery date as well. Hopefully they will call on Monday to say it was nothing. Well, that is all for now. I hope to update again before I go in for surgery. If not, then I'll see you on the other side.

March 29, 2006

I met with Dr. Anthone's nurse this morning. We went over pre-op instructions, surgery procedure details, post-op in the hospital and post-op diet & vitamin stuff. I have been anxious and scared ever since. I think this just made it all real to me and now I feel very panicky. I hate this feeling - I wish I could just get it over with. I know I am in very good hands - Dr. Anthone is the best. I know I am young and *relatively* healthy for being MO. But I am worried that I won't be able to follow post-op instructions or that I will leave my 11 year old dd without a mom. Thinking of that just crushes me. I know I have good odds, but my negative thinking is getting the best of me today. I guess I just can't imagine myself not being MO. Maybe that is part of it - if I can't see myself as normal, then my mind says it isn't going to happen and that is where my anxiety is from. I don't know. I see my PCP this Friday for lab/physical stuff - I think I may ask for a sleep aide or something to relax me. I've never had a panic attack, but every once in awhile I feel this little "flutter" of my heart and my heart starts pounding and racing - I just know it is related to the surgery. Please pray for me that I don't cause myself a heart attack before I can even get the surgery done!!

March 14, 2006

OMG I have a date! April 6th at 7:45 a.m.! I meet with the nurse on March 29th at 9:30 a.m. for all my instructions and dietary information. I can't believe it! Let the panic begin... :)

March 13, 2006

Jeremiah 29:11-13 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I’VE BEEN APPROVED! I just got the call from Christy from Dr. Anthone’s office. She said I’ve been approved for the DS and I should be receiving a letter in the mail. Kathy will be calling me tomorrow or Wednesday to set the date. I am so happy, yet I am feeling very ashamed for my lack of faith lately. One of my favorite verses is the verse above, yet I failed to follow it lately. This past weekend I was feeling very depressed. The letter was originally submitted to my insurance on December 30th. It had dragged on for so long that I started to doubt this was going to happen for me. I was getting very negative and started telling myself that this, too, would get messed up like everything else seems to be for me. Yesterday I didn’t even get out of my PJs, I just laid around all day. Today my dh called me at work to yell at me about the bills, and I was on the verge of crying when Christy called. I need to be stronger in my faith. I really think this is the turning point in my life – the road to a more positive me. Health, attitude, relationships – all of it! The surgery isn’t going to do this for me – but I now have renewed hope and faith that with the surgery as a tool, I will be able to make these changes to my life. Once again, I can say "Life is good!" I thought I would be more excited, but I guess I feel very peaceful instead. I can’t wait to get my date with the doctor!!!