Nickycole

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So, throughout this blog, you may see some of my goals, because they come to me at different times, its so hard to write them all down. So just a starter list! 

1) to go on a shopping and actually BUY clothes. Not just try on a 100 different things and get upset when I come out with one thing. I want to SHOP!!!! 

2) I want to look good in a pair of shorts.

3) I want to be able to stand up in front of a group of people, or be put on the spot and be totally comfortable, and not worry about what people may think or say. <-- I want to go back to school with confindence, not fear! 

4) I want to have enough energy to go to school, go to work, and ride my horses and still have enough energy to be tolerable to my family. ie: not a grumpy, mean, heffer! 

5) To wear uncomfortable shoes, all day! 

6) To go to Disney and keep up! 

My BIGGEST and main personal goal would be to feel comfortable with myself, enough to speak when put on the spot, to stand up for myself and not cower down. I want to be strong. 

I will post my "goals" in yellow from now on, so if you see them pop up, you know what they are!!

My first fill was a BREEZE. This is coming from a needle phobic. Im scared to death of needles. Well, I went in, and Kevin talked to me for a few minutes, ask me what I have been eating since I gained six lbs, and I told him. And got a sound chewing about my food choices. He even told me my imatation crab meat was a bad choice! <-- but he also said it was the best one he's heard so far lol oh well. So, after that he had me lay down on the bed, and he told me he was going to give me a shot to numb my stomach, THANK GOD. lol So, he gave me that shot, numbed my tummy, then he felt for my port again, found it, and he was great, I covered my head, so I didnt have to see that needle, he said okay, im sticking it in, and that was that. He drew some of the dye out that was put in during surgery. Then he put .6cc of fill into my band. It was a whole minute process and I never felt a thing. Totally pain free. I was worried for nothing. As always :P

Just a quick update on me. My weight loss has taken a complete hault, which I was forwarned, im not upset, im not depressed. As of right now, im totally okay with it. I knew I wasnt going to lose weight overnight, nor did I want to lose weight over night. Ofcourse, I would have loved to lost more than this. But thats okay too. 21lbs and holding. But as of Friday, I hope thats going to change. I get my first fill...im excited, scared, ready, not ready lol who knows what I am? I do know that without my fill, I will NOT lose weight. I've already proven that I can eat and eat good. No, I cant scarf down 4 peices of pizza like before, but I can eat 2 small to medium size peices of pizza. I have not been making good choices but thats about to change as well. I ready to bite down and get this weight loss train rolling. For myself and for my horses. 

I havent had any pains, yet.. not REAL pain. I get some mild "diiscomfort" in my "port" area somtimes, when I sit straight up too long and my pants are too snug. If I lean back or upbutton my pants it goes away. Sometimes my belly itches. Other than thse minor complaints, all it well! I turned 21 saturday. Got a kitten for my birthday!

Well, time for an update. Sorry, its been so long since i've updated. My last update was on how I have lost a size in my top. Well.. I have good news and bad news.
I lost a LOT of weight right off the bat. I mean, according to my doctor 21lbs was exceptional, and not normal for a typical bandster, which I excepted. Well, when I started going to "mushies" I wasnt making very good decisions, ie: KFC mash potatoes were my savior. I ate them for breakfeast, lunch and dinner and they were so DELISCIOUS! Yum! WELL...DUH.. when you havent consumed carbs for almost a month, my body say Oh yeah, she's giving us some carbs, and I gained a pound or two back. So then I went to solids. Once again, KFC was my choice of foods. The "popcorn" chicken.. they are really itsy bitsy pieces and I would nibble on them. Well.. time's gone by, and I have ate all the "scary" things most bandsters barf on. I have ate chicken, eggs, fish, taco shell's, cheese. The ONLY thing, that I havent attempted to EAT is lettuce. I've nibbled on the edges, but I havent taken a "bite" of lettuce. I drink; water, crystel light, gator aide(although, its bad because of the sugar). Anyway.. all of this to say, I have gained weight. Which, I can understand because im not making WISE decisions.. there is nothing in my band to say dont eat those carbs, or dont eat that fat~ those are things you have to do YOURSELF!!! I know this, and I am starting TONIGHT, back on my normal eating habits. Im not going to "baby" my band with mash potatoes and gravy anymore. Im going to eat my meats and vege's, im going to do this right. And, even when I get my fill, im going to continue to eat right. You cant succeed 100% with this band, unless you work with it! Dont let anyone tell you, that you go get banded and you lose weight over night, its not true. I LOVE my band, im thankful that god gave me this chance, he gave me a second chance in life, that most people dont get. If you havent been banded yet, my best advice to you, dont think this is the "easy" way out. Its not. Surgery is not easy, life with a band is not going to be "easy" you dont just wake up one day and your weight went "POOF" .. although, sometimes, I try to convince myself thats how my weight got there in the first place, even though, I know better than that. 
Anyways.. blah blah blah... I weight from 270 somthing, to 249, to 253.. yes, I gained almost 10lbs back. Which is odd, but im sure its my bad food choices. Anyways. 

EXTRA EXTRA: I am still down to a size 2x tope. And to top it ALL off.. I got back into a pair of jeans, I havent wore in six months. My mini goal, was to get those jeans back on before I started riding my horse again. Well.. they are on! and they arent tight! and tomorrow I am on my way to gainesville for my first barrel race since surgery!!! Yippeee!!!! I will update everyone and let you know how it went!! 

Good luck everyone, I hope everything's going great for you guys as well!!  :)

Well... all is well in my neck of the woods. Life with my band, right now, is not too much different then life was without my band. Although, I KNOW it's there and it keeps me in check! But.. I feel like I could easily get in trouble, since I have no fill. I cant wait to get my first fill, but I am a tad scared of the needle. Oh well... I know its needed if I am ever going to lose weight. Im scared to weigh myself right now. I think I will wait until my next appt w/ Dr. Jawad before I get on a scale again. Well.. I havent had any pain, other then that weird numb feeling I get every now and then.

Well... I havent updated in a LONG time.. im still alive. No problems yet. Im eating solid foods. Well.. so far just chicken and fish is the only thing I have tryed. Still eating some mushies.. but need to stop, its not helping me lose any weight. What so ever. Im going to attempt to ride my horse tonight. I miss riding and have been dying to go out there and jump on his back and ride till I cant stand it anymore. Lets hope it works that easy lol!!! But all is well.. nothing wrong so far. No pain. Everything is GRRREAT!

My staples are gone forever! lol I was REALLY nervous about getting them taken out.. I thought it would hurt lol I even told the nurse.. be gentle.. she said okay.. as gentle as an ant bite.. pluck pluck pluck, pluck pluck and wa la! Staples no more! I never even felt it. 

I also ate mash potatoes tonight. YUM :) They went down with no problems.. (ate them at cracker barrel) mom was starving and needed somthing good to eat and I said I would just get somthing mushy and I would be fine. So... I ordered vegetable soup and mash potatoes.. w/ extra gravy to makc them more liquidy. I ended up just taking a few sips of broth from my soup.. it had toooo many vege's in lol couldnt sip around it. I ate my mash taters and I was fine. 

Only.. I was very aware of what people were eating around me. There was a couple behind us with their young children.. they had like three orders of HUGE fryed onion rings on top of their meal w/ a mess of cokes. And there was a women next to me who had 5 sides! on top of her meal... ahhh... I didnt even finish my tiny bowl of taters. Hmmm...

Then.. I come home and Joe (boyfriend) said he was hungry and he was going to make him some noodles. SOOOO... he went into the kitchen and got two bags of ramon noodles boiled them, drained them, smothered them with butter and garlic, and a little of the seasoning until they were swimming in the butter and then sat down in the same room as me, and picked up his fork, and he STUFFED his whole mouth full with ONE bite... lol I was like SLOW DOWN, Stop doing that... thats gross... and within 6-8 bites he had the whole freakin bowl gone.. 

I use to be able to eat just like him.. no wonder I am fat.