Jasmine130

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I can hardly believe it, but today May 28, 2008, a little over 8 months from my surgery date, I have entered "Onederland".  I weighed in at 199.8 this morning!  Now I'm just a "hair" into the 100s but I'm going to take this prize and run with it all the way to goal.

I'm also in a clothing crisis!  I am suddenly very low on clothes that I don't swim in.  Some things it's okay to have a little big, but it's getting to the point where most things just don't look so good because they're hanging and swaying and falling off my shoulders or waist.  The pile for my garage sale at the end of June is growing :).

I stopped on the way to the office this morning to pick up a pair of dress pants for work.  I didn't have time to try them on, but they are a size 12 and I think they will fit.  Although as I write this, I am wearing a pair of size 14 jeans.  So we shall see!

I am so grateful for my RNY, for a chance to re-do my life, and for reaching the 100s!  I almost gave up and resigned myself to being super morbidly obese for the rest of my life, but now I have hope and success and renewed health to carry me all the way to my goal and maintenance!

Today I weighed in at 202 lbs.  I am really close to breaking through to "Onederland" where I will get on the scale and see that number start with a "1".  It hardly seems possible that I have come this far in 8 months.  It is so exciting my body changes, it just feels so different.  For example, on my recent trip back from Dallas, as I fastened the seatbelt on the plane, there was a lot of seatbelt left over, whereas less than a year ago, I was headed toward needing 2 (!) extensions.  Last night, I decided to exit the pool using the ladder instead of heading down to the shallow end to use the steps.  Before, it was a major effort to haul myself up the ladder.  Last night, it was effortless!  I'm wearing size 16s and many of them are getting loose.  In some things, I'm wearing 14s and they are loose in the legs and seat.  Walking in general is so much easier, even with my knee problems.  My blood pressure and pulse are both in low normal ranges.  Soon I will have another sleep lab to determine where I stand with my sleep apnea.  I will have another follow-up appointment with Dr. Feng next month.  I am utilizing support available to me in a couple of different ways as I have learned how valuable that support is.  I'm getting rid of a lot of clothes, and have even managed to give away some real favorites because they are just way too big and I'm not going back to that size ever again.   Now I'm thinking of a favorite tweed jacket hanging in my closet.  Maybe it seems strange to be so attached to that jacket, but it's a classic and a size 16/18 and I have fond memories of times when I've worn it.  It will have to go!  These past several months have been amazing and I am grateful every day for the opportunity to get my life back through this surgery.  I'm grateful that I have had no complications or even problems to speak of.  I'm just grateful all around!

The past few days have brought something of a heat wave here in Redwood City, with area temperatures in the high 90s - 100+.  Now I don't really LIKE such hot weather, but I can say that I have been dealing much better with it now that I've lost 150 pounds.  I'm not drenched with sweat, breaking out in rashes and chafing, or otherwise immobilized due to the heat.  This is a huge, positive change for me. 

Isn't it strange how many of us don't "see" the big changes that are happening with our bodies?  I had read on OH and other places, before I had my surgery, that this is common and so I determined to have monthly photos taken to monitor my weight loss in a visual way.  Now, at 7 months and 147 pounds down, I am really starting to see the difference.  I actually don't mind looking at my current photos, whereas before, if I ever allowed one to be taken, I pretty much would never look at it.  If I did, I tried to convince myself that it was taken at a bad angle or something.  After all, I couldn't possibly be that fat, could I?!

This is one heckuva blast I'm having.  I am so excited I can hardly stand myself.  I am doing a lot of "head" work along the way to help me continue with my weight loss and, once I reach goal, to work hard for the rest of my life to maintain my new weight.

I have been given a tremendous gift in being able to have my RNY and I recognize not everyone is able to have WLS of any sort.  I am committed to never waste this blessing that is changing my life FOREVER.

I'm at 7 months post-op, soon to be 8 months.  So much has happened in the months since my surgery.  As one of my dear friends said, "(You) have had a helluva year."   

I have had a very tough several months on the personal and family front.  Had I not had my RNY and had I been able to eat my way through these trials as I had before, I would be significantly heavier than my pre-surgery weight of 354 lbs.  I would be advance in my co-morbidities, likely a full-blown diabetic, and more miserable and hopeless about ever being able to overcome my obesity.

I am learning how to cope with life's challenges without resorting to food for comfort.  I keenly remember how food would comfort me for a brief period of time but then I would be overcome with self-loathing and disgust and guilt, not to mention barely able to breathe sometimes because of the volume of food I consumed.

This past week I found myself nibbling at a few things that I have avoided up until now.  A tiny bite of my friend's cake at dessert....a couple of chips... all trigger foods for me.  This has left me a little dissatisfied during the day and wanting to consume more food.  

Hallelujah, I'm putting on the brakes.  I'm not perfect, I'm kind of disappointed in myself, but what's different from before when I would go on a full-blown binge!  A LOT is different.  I have hope and success and support and I'm not panicking.  I am calm and ready to move forward with peace and self-control.  

I am so thankful for all the support in my life, from friends and family to my support groups including this online one.  

Here's to getting to ONEDERLAND and then on to goal!

Today is my 7-month surgiversary!  This time 7 months ago, I was in recovery following an uneventful gastric bypass.  I am so grateful to have been able to have this surgery and I am more than thrilled with the results.

As of today, I have lost 143.7 pounds, with 60.3 to go for my surgeon's goal of 150.  Reaching that goal has never seemed more attainable, my mind is starting to comprehend that this is actually within reach.  Once I reach 150, I will know if I am satisfied there or want to get to my personal goal of 130 (and that may be a post-plastics goal!).

I'm going to have my DH take my monthly photo update and post a new pic, but in the meanwhile I wanted to blog how I'm feeling on this day.

Tonight was my first night back in the pool since my knee surgery a couple of weeks ago.  It felt great to get back in the water.  No pain at all in my knee, and after i got home, I elevated and iced like a good patient :).

I noticed today my body feels entirely different in the water.  I can flip and turn with ease, using my abs without a big belly to get in the way.  Even crawling feels different, a great kind of lightness that I can't remember feeling, it's been so long.

I love-love-love my RNY!

This has been an unusually trying period in my life.  I can't remember a time when I have encountered so many difficulties in my family life at the same time.  I'm emotionally exhausted, but at the same time I have a peace in the middle of this storm.  And thankfully, the storm does not involve my nuclear family, so home is a real haven.

My weight continues to come off and I'll soon be in "onederland". So I have learned, as I walk through this time, that food is not, never was, the answer or the solution or any real means of coping with stress.  Nor is any form of cross-addiction.  I've learned it's okay to face and to walk through the emotions and the trials and the stress and that it's not only possible, but greatly encouraging, to be able to do so without stuffing those emotions with large volumes of unhealthy foods.

This weekend things kind of caught up with me.  I've been physically and emotionally weary because of my knee surgery and of course the passing of my father.  My husband and I had a lovely lunch at Citrine in downtown Redwood City; lovely day and we ate outdoors.  I had a tasty Asian chicken salad which lasted for both lunch and supper (actually I couldn't finish it all). When we got home, I had a wonderful sabbath nap and slept over 3 hours.  I got up and made a first run at our taxes, and now I'm sitting comfortably with the continuous icing unit on my knee.  I can feel that I will rest well tonight and life is good.

I had my knee surgery yesterday and it went really well.  I am recuperating at home, with no pain to speak of.  I'm able to work at home on my laptop, sitting on the couch hooked up to my icing unit.  I actually have something of a lap on which to rest my laptop, have my cellphone nearby and can work and watch my "judge shows".  Life is pretty good!

If I had had this surgery 130 pounds ago I think it would be a lot worse.  Thank the Lord for my RNY!