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Still at the same weight, but life is good! I am feeling much more feminine these days. I never could understand women who were obsessed with shoes, but lately I can see how it could happen. I think before shoes were just for comfort - not style. But now that the weight has come off I want to look good. I am back to wearing jewelry and perfume, too. I am officially at my surgeon's goal, albeit at the high end of his goal weight range for me. Hard to believe. I'm ever so thankful.

I thought I was done losing for the month, and I woke up this morning and weighed myself and I am down to 186. Wow is about all I can say - down 118 pounds total in 7 1/2 months!!!

11-26-06

Sunday morning. I am laying around this morning- should have gone to church but instead I slept in. Bad me. had a very busy weekend/holiday. I had my side of the family over for thanksgiving meal yesterday. I literally worked my ARSE off Friday and all day Sat getting ready and cleaning and cleaning. I was on my feet all day Fri until like 1:30 in the morning, didn't sleep well and was at the grocery store Sat morning at 8:30 buying a fresh turkey (my frozen one that I had put in the refrigerator on Tue was STILL frozen!!). I cooked and cooked and cleaned and cleaned. There was no way I could have done all this a year ago. And, still felt good enough to entertain once all teh guests arrived. I stood in line Fri during "black friday" for two hours at just one store, and shopped at 4 different stores that morning beginning at 6 am. I am at 188 still. I think I am done losing ths month as I am due to get my period tomorrow. I have a total loss of 116 pounds in 7 1/2 months. Still a big wow. I feel good sitting here in my clean house knowing that only good things lay ahead for me.

11-23-06 Happy Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given me. I am thankful for life. I am thankful for the gift of my daughter and my husband. I am thankful for the other members of my family. I am thankful for my health and my family's health. I am thankful for having a well-paying job, a decent house and a great life. I am thankful for God's intervention into my unhealthy life and all the things that fell into place so I could have this surgery. This morning I weighed 188. Pounds just seem to drop off overnight. Today's meal was delicious. I had the frothies again today, I think I need to stop a bite or two sooner. I feel like food is stuck and I start salivting and my nose starts running and sometimes I don't feel better until I puke up a mound of mucus. Very weird. My sister in law's partner's sister had the RNY back in October. She was telling me today how unhappy she is  and miserable she is. She said she is hungry but she can't eat because it hurts. I feel bad for her, an tried to reassure her that it will get better, but I really have no idea if it will or not. What I really wanted to say is, "you should have had the DS," but of course I didn't. I am so thankful for my DS - down 116 pounds in 7 1/2 months!!!

Thur 11-23-06

Happy Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given me. I am thankful for life. I am thankful for the gift of my daughter and my husband. I am thankful for the other members of my family. I am thankful for my health and my family's health. I am thankful for having a well-paying job, a decent house and a great life. I am thankful for God's intervention into my unhealthy life and all the things that fell into place so I could have this surgery. This morning I weighed 188. Pounds just seem to drop off overnight. Today's meal was delicious. I had the frothies again today, I think I need to stop a bite or two sooner. I feel like food is stuck and I start salivting and my nose starts running and sometimes I don't feel better until I puke up a mound of mucus. Very weird. My sister in law's partner's sister had the RNY back in October. She was telling me today how unhappy she is  and miserable she is. She said she is hungry but she can't eat because it hurts. I feel bad for her, an tried to reassure her that it will get better, but I really have no idea if it will or not. What I really wanted to say is, "you should have had the DS," but of course I didn't. I am so thankful for my DS - down 116 pounds in 7 1/2 months!!!

Wed Nov 22

What a difference a year makes. As I was thinking last night about what i am going to make for turkey day, i thought about my favorite dessert - Pistachio Bars (cream cheese, whipped cream, pistachio pudding, flaky crust) and how last year I ate like half of the 8.5 x 11 dish of leftovers myself, just gobbling it up. I admit I was a bit sad thinking that I might not even get to taste it, as usually i am way too full for dessert. i just hate the "i'm so full i'm going to puke" feeling so I usually stop before I get to dessert. Iknow this is a good thing, but i miss the taste of some food. i miss stuffing myself - which makes no sense as i was so miserable. i just think pre-op i could eat alot before i would begin feeling sick. now it just doesn't take much and I dread the feeling so I stop very short of it just to make sure. I am starting to not miss mashed potatoes quite so much. I will miss the stuffing. i am one of th dser's who gets gas and bloating with even just a little simple carbs, so i really try to avoid them because i didn't lose all this weight just to feel bloated and huge again. This morning i weighed 190. I am down 114 pounds since surgery. Wow is the key word here. Hard to believe. i am wearig xl shirts and 16 pants. Down from 28/30 women's sizes. amazing. i am still so glad I did this. My surgeon's original goal was to weight between 168 and 186.  Well, I am only 4 pounds from the top end of that weight range And, I am only 7 1/2 months out.  thank you, God.

Well, I seem to be on a plateau of sorts. This morning I weighed 193. that is a loss of 111 pounds total - which is great, really. It just seems the weight loss has slowed down A LOT this past month. I am trying not to panic. I really haven't changed the way that I have been eating at all. I still eat minimal carbs. I really can't eat a lot - I get full very easily, which is a good thing. I sometimes wonder if I am eating enough. For the past month or so I have been having some episodes of what feels like dumping - even though I know DSers don't dump because we still have our pyloric valve. About an hour or two after I eat I get shaky, feel nausious and tired, weak, groggy, and just plain terrible. I usually want to go lay down ahd sleep. I think i am having hypoglycemic symptoms. Not sure what that really means - too many carbs/sugar or not enough? I am thinking I should probably call my PCP to figure out how to manage this. Tonight I had an episode and I went in and laid down and fell asleep for couple hours. I still feel a little "iffy" but much better. It is now midnight and I wonder how long until I'll be able to sleep? Oh well. I fit into a size "large" sweatpants today. Yeah for me!

Nov 13, 2006

The past week has been weird. I have only lost a pound and so far I have not panicked but it definitely seems as though I have hit a plateau of sorts. I have been concentrating on getting in protein and staying away from carbs as of late, and it hasn't helped, yet. Yesterday DD and I were at our church's annual turkey dinner fundraiser, and as I stared at my HUGE portion of food that I knew there was NO WAY I was going to be able to eat, I realized that a year ago I would have eaten it all and then some. I would have had dessert, too. It was weird seeing the foods that I love - mashed potatoes, dressing, gravy, rolls & butter, etc., and just not being able to eat it. After I had gotten through about 1/2 of what I would normally eat for a meal, I started to get some VERY painful, sudden, sharp stabbing like pains in my stomach. It was right around my belly button, a little to the left. It was really sudden, like one minute I was fine and the next minute I could hardly breathe as the pain was taking my breath away. I waited a few minutes and it only got worse, so I told DD we had to leave. I drove home, which probably wasn't a very good idea, as I was in so much pain at one point I thought I was going to pass out. I got home and was going to call Dr. Anthone's office and my sister as I thought something was terribly wrong and I needed to go to the ER. But then I thought I would feel so foolish if it wasn't anything, so I decided to take a couple tums and see what happened. Well, imagine my surprise when 15 mins later the pain was MUCH less, and had completely gone away within 45 minutes or so. I guess it was just gas, but I had never had that much pain from something so simple - EVER. I'm glad I tried the home remedy first as I would have felt soooo foolish for going to the ER for gas pains. ha ha It is amazing that it was just gas, as I was SURE I was dieing. This morning I still weighed 194 - I haven't lost anything in about a week. Whaa Whaa.  Whine Whine.  Boo Hoo.  Okay - it is out of my system and I will just keep plugging along. DH gets back from his business trip this Saturday. DD won 2nd place in her volleyball tournament over the weekend. that VB season is finished, her VB club season is going to start on the 21st and basketball is starting up as well. Maybe I'll be too busy to weigh myself so I'll stop obsessing about it!

Well, Monday the 6th was my 7 month anniversary from having this surgery. I weighed in at 195. So, my loss for month 7 was 10 pounds. I think my body is trying to play catch up. I lost 15 pounds in month 6 and 14 pounds in month 5. I also think I have eaten a few more carbs this month than I have before. Not intentionally at all. Sometimes meat just doesn't sound good, so I try a few fries first or something like that. Well, I usually end up paying for it with bloating and gas when I do that and that usually keeps me in line. I do think I need to eat more protein and that will make me lose fast again. Although, losing 10 pounds in a month is nothing to sneeze at, especially when it puts me at a total of 109 pounds loss since surgery. A lot of people are happy to have that at one year. I just am not going to let up or be happy until I get to the 160 range. I really want to get to 150, but I also realize I have quite a bit of lose skin that will prevent me from that number most likely. The doctor said he thinks I have 6-9 pounds of lose skin that would be removed if I opt for plastic surgery down the road. And, that is just in my abdominal section. I notice a lot of loose skin in my arms, legs, back and butt as well. It is wrinkly and feels weird. But, that is better than what I had before, that is for sure. People that I know aren't recognizing me lately. A couple whose daughter played ball with my daughter over an 8 month period last winter/spring/summer didn't recognize me until they recognized my voice. They did the whole polite smile and saying, "hi, how are you" back to me until they realized who I was. They flipped. My own dad didn't recognize me, either. We met for dinner for my nephew's birthday and he was the last one to arrive. We were all seated and he sat off to the side, but across from me. When he sat down I smiled and said hi. He smiled and said hi back to me, but I thought it was weird that he didn't say/do more. About 10 minutes later he just bursted out with an "oh my god" - he said he thought I was a guest of someone's or something - that he didn't realize I was me. That is weird - how can people not recognize me? I just don't see it how they see it, I guess. Someday hopefully my mind will catch up and I will realize the change I've undergone. I guess I do realize it already, but I don't see it so much in my appearance. I am still wearing size 18's, but they are baggy these days. I should go try on some 16's and see if I'm ready for that size. I need clothes so badly, but I don't want to spend money. Finances are still very tight for us right now, we just can't seem to catch up. Sometimes I really start thinking about bankruptcy, especially when I realize the interest rates we are paying and how we're never going to get these balances & loans paid off. We keep incurring late fees and that doens't help, either. And, it is very stressful to say the least. Both of our vehicles need to be licensed over the next couple of months and Christmas will be here and all of that just doens't add up for me. Otherwise my health is great, my 6 month labs were great, I feel good and my confidence is coming back. I seek people out to talk to and I am having an itch to go out and do more things. That is good, especially from where I've come from.

October 31, 2006

This morning I weighed 197. I'm getting there. I had my annual GYN check up yesterday and my doctor was AMAZED! She is the first person that ever put the thought of WLS in my head. She's been through it with me - through trying to get pregnant, through getting pregnant, through the thinking I might lose the baby, and the subsequent loss due to a tubal pregnancy. Then we tried intertility treatment and gave up and tried adoption. Adoption still hasn't worked and she has commiserated with me about that, too. Anyway, she has a friend who is a fairly prominent RNY surgeon here in Omaha and originally referred me to him a few years back. I went to his seminar thing and they checked my ins and it was excluded so I was pretty much kicked to the curb. Thank GOD! ha ha  So I dealt with life and went about my business for a couple years and then when my DH switched jobs about a year ago I went on his insurance and then decided to check if it was covered - and IT WAS! Then I got back on this site and did a little more checking and researching and realized I didn't want an RNY - I wanted the DS. I heard all of the rave reviews of Dr. Anthone and I am so glad I listened. I am getting close to my surgeon's goal already and that is amazing to me.